How do i be funny Veeky Forums? and how do i make people interested in me and get some friends?

be popular/social status

people care more about instagram followers than personality in 2017

girls desire clout more than anything nowadays

how do i become popular and get social status?

right now i have zero friends

bump

Maybe you're just not a funny person

how do i become funny?

If youre not funny you will never be funny.

Thank god I am because it almost helps me COPE with my manletism.

Draw from your life then. Think of all the stupid shit that'd happened in your life or that of people you knew in the past. It doesn't have to be "ha ha joke comedy", it can be "Sad shit that's happened in my life but twisted in a funny way".

If you really can't think of anything, make shit up.

And find a friend or two. The bantz will level up your sense of comedy.,

You don't

Hang out with funny people and listen to examples of impromptu (not written) humor frequently for years. That's how i did it l.

Don't try to be funny if you aren't funny. Instead, just smile/be nice to everyone, depending on why you're trying to be funny, most of the time being friendly is WAY better

maybe i will make things up.
how do i even find friends?

i don't have friends though

it always looks like the funny guys with cool stories have the most friends

Trying to be funny in this circumstance will only make you more of a sperg. Just try to be inoffensive and pick up some fun social hobbies for now.

You are a legitimate sufferer of autism, yes?

i'll try to find some hobbies

quite possible
i have no social skills

Practice makes perfect.

You're a little slow to the game son.

I started telling stories in front of groups of people in elementary school. I had a lot of natural confidence/psychosis. Thinking in a different way and being confident about it was pretty much how I made friends in school. Humor covered up my autism.

I'm medicated for bipolar disorder now and I'm not as funny as I used to be.

I was never that quick witted however, Being a good story teller was my quirk. Helps you get laid too.

Nothing gets a girl wetter than the guy who can demand attention and entertain large groups of people.

My dad is an entertainer and a smoothe talking salesman.

Having the right genetics for humor helps.

Funny shit doesn't happen to anyone.
You make the shit that happens to you funny.

Don't make excuses, do you have actual legitimate symptoms of autism?

practice how? i can't think of funny things to say

>You make the shit that happens to you funny.
i don't think this is that accurate. usually when i hear funny stories, it's of things that happened to the person telling the story

Why do you want to be funny? Studies have shown most comedians have evidence of some psychosis.

I bet you had a pampered little childhood didn't you, you little bitch...

If you really want to be funny I would suggest you start taking drugs.

Probably the only way.

Are you me?

Op here. No you are not me.

bump

jus b urself

Just collect greentexts from Veeky Forums you thought were funny and then tell them as if they happend to you or an imaginary friend of yours or a familymember.

Also normies like storys that happend to you while you were drunk. Just make some shit up. Pretend you have friends you have fun with. It will help in a way people will think you are less of a creep since you have friends.

half the time those people are lying.

so what you need to do is start lying and get good at it.

lye for absolutely no raisin

I'm not that good at lying, and don't want to be caught in a lie tbqh

This is actually correct. It's all about delivery too. I'm know for situational comedy around my friends. Always gotta be aware of your surroundings. Quips sadly help too

this is actually true lmao

No joke a comedian has told about their life is 100% true. Nobody if gonna call you out for making them laugh

I'm dying

thanks

thanks, i see your point

bump

Listen to this guy You'll be the guy people like to be around because he'll just go off and tell a funny story.
Watch this for example
youtu.be/PToqVW4n86U

one problem is that i don't have any stories of my own

It's really a learning process. If you talk to people and try to be funny, you will find out what people respond to more, and you'll eventually what figure out what works and what doesn't. What a lot of people don't seem to get about being funny is that sometimes a joke just falls flat, especially when you start trying to "learn" how to be funny. And that's fine, so long as you remember "well, that didn't get a laugh, so it's not funny."

Also it helps if you can gauge who you're talking to. It's usually hard to make a stranger laugh if you just started up a conversation. Different people have different senses of humor, and some have none at all. Someone with a Veeky Forums senses of humor probably wouldn't laugh at a joke from tumblr, or vice versa.

Also, you can just strike up conversation with people you see often or something. Like if you go to the gym (Which I assume you do, since we're on Veeky Forums), and there's a regular guy you see there, strike up a conversation like "Hey, I see you in here every time I'm here! My name is user, just thought it would be cool to introduce myself." Maybe throw in a non awkward comment about something, talk about your routine, ask them what they do yada yada. Then at the end say something like "Alright, I'll let you get back to your workout, just thought I'd say hey." or something of the sort.

Learning how to let a conversation flow naturally is something you learn with time, but don't be afraid to try otherwise you don't learn.

Of course this really only applies to men. If you try this on a woman she might think you're hitting on her, so proceed with caution.

Find what you do best. Humor depends on personality.

I've memorized a couple hundred puns. It's a pretty easy way too be funny. Just make sure you study for 20~ minutes daily, eventually it'll come naturally.

thanks

i can never think of good times for puns in real life.

5 sets of Dave Chapelle for 5 reps, followed by 3 sets of funny youtube videos for sets of 12, or until failure.

i watched both of his specials this weekend. i only laughed a few times, none of it was too memorable for me tbqh

Just tell people your pr lifts

As far as women go, the task is simple. If they find you attractive, anything you say will be funny. For men, it requires a combination of social finesse and life experiences.

>If I wanted to laugh, I'd ask for your one rep max

LOL!!!!!!!!

Charisma on Command has a couple videos on this topic, you might wanna go check them out

having wit helps a lot

>tfw ugly

thanks, will look the videos up

as above people said, it's 20% about the story you're telling, 80% about how you tell it and what the person listening thinks of you.

if a girl wants to fuck me, i could tell a story about eating a dogshit sandwich and she would be laughing and telling me to continue.

now, if you're trying to be funny to a bunch of strangers, you really just need confidence and natural wit, neither of which are easy to acquire if you don't have them by 18

Don't follow that book's advice. It's just about how to be a sycophant beta that rely on others to be happy.

how do i acquire the story telling skills and wit after 18?

what are better books?

NOT FIT RELATED NOW FUCK OFF

how to get wit?

iktfb

bump

first of all get the fuck out with that emoji bro

fun would be me saying this is the kind of shit why you dont have friends, then others laugh to my joke and at you coz they agree

what's the irl equivalent of this?

tell people how much you make

bump

Try to be funny, change up your approach to jokes every time, if something works remember it, you can do it

Same guy, if you try to be funny and aren't people may not like it, I remember when I tried really hard and no one thought I was funny. With time and practice you'll become funny and never look back.

thanks
i don't know what to say to be funny though

i listen to coworkers, and rarely laugh at what they say
one guy just teases a girl (usually with the same lines), and she laughs all the time

another co-worker always has a fun story to tell

i have nothing

...

bump

In the same boat, would you say your comfortable being yourself?

i don't like myself for being a boring person with no social skills and no friends

...

bump

I've stolen so many of this nigga jokes. If OP is still here just find someone you find funny and emulate them. The hardest part is when shit doesn't land. With time you'll get over it.

...

It's all about telling stories my dude. You can tell a story about the most mundane shit and if you embellish it enough it can sound like the most hilarious thing ever. It's all about the delivery. Make it up if you have to, just make sure it's novel and humorous. Make references: "saw a dude on the train today that reminded me of mikes tie he wore last week!"

Describe things in weird ways. "His voice reminded me of a dry handjob (normie chads appreciate sexual references)"

Idk man maybe that shit just comes naturally but a big part is just being confident, even if a joke falls flat chances are nobody will really notice

I haven't laughed so hard in a while mate holy shit

I'M DEAD! LMAO! XD

thanks. how can i make something mundane interesting and funny?

today nothing really happened to me, and i can't think of any way to make something funny

I really needs a big chunky cheesy girl. If she isn't big, chunky, and cheesy, I don't want her. Her sweaty fupa fold marinading in her oils just turns me rock hard man. Thigh gaps? Ew. Jawline? What are you, gay? I need my big chunky easy-cheesy thick mozzarella mommy. Wide pelvis?? Gross. It's gotta be easy. It's gotta be cheesy. You're doing it wrong if you're not doing it thicc.

If the sour aroma of a nice juicy easy cheesy mozzarella mommy's fupa doesn't turn you on, you are fucked in the head my friend. How could you look at those delicious gooey creamy thighs and not pop a boner? Those ooey gooey creamy chunky cheesy mozzarella mommy thighs. Damn. I'm salivating.

just flex a 'cep and dont be autistic

start with small talk, work up from there, if you see a person a few times a week, start a conversation about a thing that is relatable to both of you.

You've made it. There's nothing more to learn. Leave the board friend

Thank you back snap gorilla!

Lurk around Veeky Forums and talk about the funny memes

thanks, will try this