Why lift weights when you could be an investment banker?

Why not marry an investment banker and spend your time lifting weights and cooking?

Yeah fuck that, I work 2 days a week as a fireman cause I enjoy doing it, and day trade in my free time and that's enough to earn me about 120k this past year, will be considerably more next year as I'm dumping more money into trading, but I'm free to do what I want almost all day everyday

Seriously considering a career as a trophy husband

t.20 year old

I invested in a fresh Juice press startup, the machine is pretty expensive at 400$ but im confident i'll make my money back when they start selling.

>I'm a day trader
what platform do you use? What screener? Have you tried long term investing? Or do you eschew any type of fundamental analysis?

Why lift when you could just win the lottery and be born handsome?

I got a degree in mechanical engineering and this shit is boring as fuck.

I was thinking of becoming a fireman myself

Sorry but you're fucked
The market is already saturated and I can by a good juicer for 50-100$
Plus, most people don't juice anymore, and it's not even that healthy
Sorry user, you got Ryan Howard'd

>Plus, most people don't juice anymore

Did I miss out on a juicing fad or something

>2008
>+5
>Investment banking
Not gonna make it.

ur mom xdd

Nutribullet and that ninja whatever blew up a couple of Christmases back.

How can I buy stocks when every online thing like etrade wants me to have $50K in their account?

robinhood

Investment bankers will be the first ones marched the guillotines when society collapses

It's pretty rad, I'm 31 so I'm probably only gonna do it for 5-10 more years, I make more in stocks anyways but I love fighting fire, it's a rewarding, challenging and exciting experience, it pays shit but the schedule is so good it doesn't matter, at least most departments

Lmao not in our lifetime you watch too many movies

What's the catch?

tbqh I'd rather start with hollywood, but that's just me.

Start with Robin Hood, if you do ok get a think or swim account

They sell your info.

It has less options, no decent charts etc, it's perfect for getting your feet wet and I still use it for smaller trades cause no fee is pretty nice

Sooner than you think.
You can't have so many people doing literally nothing and skimming off the top

Cuck

w-what type o juice are we talking about here bois?

>collecting and analyzing data to help governments and corporations make decisions
>managing the capitalization of new ventures
>underwriting
>connecting large investors to ventures in need of capital
You have no idea what you're talking about. Do you think investment bankers work 90 hour weeks doing literally nothing and magically charging for it? It's a service industry like coaching and medicine, so don't start with some Cletus bullshit about "they don't make nothin."

You must be either a Bernout or a major-league flyover yokel.

I swear some people were born economically illiterate, like dyslexia or something.

All of Wall Street is a scam. hahaha. Underwriters are how many banks and firms make their money. It is inherently corrupt.

>hahaha

VERY impressive rebuttal

B U R N O U T
U
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N
O
U
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>t. yalls future

This one

Where do i stick my dick in? For $400 it better also give a damn good blowjob.

because my daddy doesn't work in the city and none of my relatives do so it's improbable i'd ever get above "generic overworked quant on low 6 figures no. 463656", plus i don't find finance interesting in the slightest
it's a shit life and only 18 year olds who don't know any better aspire towards it

>Why be a sick shredded cunt when you could be a pencil neck little shitstain who has to pay for sex?

You tell me

pro-tip: he's on test

>2008
>+5
>=Current year - 4
Not gonna make it.

lol you fucking fags think investment banking is any good to make $$$, even worse, some of you mentioned day trade...

at the age of 27 I do marketing and strategic consulting for roughly 20 hours a week as a freelancer and make ~300k a year.

get your shit together and find a job that is actually respected and pays well.

>day trader
>making mad financial gainz

Yeah right

Fucking newfag neck yourself or lurk more.

Being an IB is a fucking shit lifestyle I don't know why anyone finds that garbage appealing. I'll take 50% of the salary with 1000% less stress in STEM thank you very much

>1000% less stress in STEM

Tell me how to get where you are, then.

don't worry user I read HN, I get your joke :^)

>consulting
>respected

>1000% less stress in STEM

i want you to email me when you graduate and find a job and work for 2 weeks you sack of cunt

You dumbass, I'll just squeeze the bags.

Yes, I'm an engineer and I occasionally work with IB's. 18 hour days flying all over the country does not sound appealing to me in the slightest.

I graduated 5 years ago with a M.S. and have been working since. If you honestly find this stressful you must be pretty fucking pathetic.

I'm studying a BA in Marketing and have freelanced promotional videos, made 1.5K so far on it, when I have the freetime from part-time retail work and studying. Hoping to score 15K from a academic trust who want promotion.

How do you get into marketing and strategic consulting, what is the first steps? And is that average pay?

This must be the prop desk at citigroup.

It's not stressful, maybe you're just a brainlet who can't prioritise

t. engineer in a ""stressful"" field

Then why is there a 4 ton press ??

be fucking good at what you do. I spent the first 5 years of my career learning everything about online marketing (including in my free time because I enjoy this shit), still updating my knowledge every week since it's a rapidly changing environment. also networking naturally comes easy for me, that helped as well I guess

point is, modern society rewards specialisation, first specialise and when people see you're bloody good at what you do you can go for the leadership jobs that require you to know the big picture. just never let anybody push you down and tell you to remain a specialist because those on top will do it if they see you rising. be determined, brutally honest and cruel if need be, working ain't a playground and no place to make friends.

>day trader
Ya ok buddy, I have a Robinhood account too

see some more info:
I worked for the same company for 5 years, 2 during uni and 3 afterwards. made a heckload of connections during those years which is quite easy in marketing I must say, you go around a lot and talk to a lot of people. Me being really fucking good (this is not bragging) at all this online marketing crap made those people ask me for advice, I realized I could make money out of it so I started putting price tags on those advices and the consulting I did after the office hours at my primary job, so it all started on the side really...

then came a point when it was just not feasible anymore to do both the consulting and the fulltime job so I said fuck it and went freelance. My previous employer is still one of my main clients and they pay me 3 times more for 1/10th of the job, it's crazy what companies are willing to pay for honest and sound advice and expertise...

I honestly don't know if this is the average pay, it all depends on the clients desu, you could do the same job and make only 50k a year with shit clients, but I always told them they need to pay good money to get good service and priced myself well above the average so I weeded out the useless crap clients pretty fast...

Any sites/books/sources for your knowledge in marketing. Would really love to get an insight of knowledge from guys actually grafting in the business. Rather than the drool i'm reading from books assigned to us at uni, multi-channel PR etc.

Real sound practical advice if you have the time man, a website or something

books there are a couple, websites as well, but the best you can do is find a company with a marketing genius, work for them and siphon all the knowledge.

also: don't look for info on what to do, that's all bullshit, look for sites like whichtestwon, beetle, awwwards, etc. these show you what other companies do who are brilliant in marketing. marketing is 90% stealing from the best out there and 10% innovation. also make a separate email address, register with it on successful sites and subscribe to as many newsletters as possible to see what companies are doing, some good ones to start with are amazon, zalando, chubbies, eaglemoss, these are all brilliant in their own way.

Cheers mate, best of luck in your future

Hell yeah man, I'm a single male so I don't need a whole lot of money to sustain myself, plus it seems really rewarding

I am an investment banker (23 yo, analyst), AMA

I wouldn't work investment banker/sales hours even for a mid six figure salary.

No amount of money in the world is worth hundreds of hours of stress every month.

hope my rambling was at least somewhat helpful. good luck to you too pal and don't forget to have fun while working your ass off.

That last sentence is pretty embarrassing, but I appreciate your diligence in citing your sources.

Because to be an investment banker means:
>beginning early enough (start studying with at least 18, never later)
>have top 1% grades
>have contacts in the highest positions
>be able to work over 60 hours a week

Lifting weights is easy, you need only 3 times a day 45 minutes of lifting to look good in 2 or 3 years with a good amount of strength, if you want to be an investment banker, and I speak from a successful one, you must be the top 1% male in terms of intellectual genetics.

Brah, I'm studying a STEM subject. I don't start learning 2 months before the exams and do a magical trick almost every successful student use:

Old exams

Is that natty?

Damn, I've talked with a lot of rich people on the internet before.