You're on a date with Joan of Arc. What would you do to impress her?

2D?
>>>trash

Should've drawn her pregnant, Veeky Forums would've blown their collective load to that.

Kill some Christians because "God" said so.

But not THOSE Christians, these other Christians.

She knows the ones I mean.

draw my battleplans in the sand with a stick

Tease her about worshipping a kike on a stick then take her home in my peadot Lada Niva and wish her a goodnight and a god jül

I'm black and I only know English. What the fuck am I dong in France and why haven't I been enslaved or killed yet? Better yet why the fuck isn't Joan speaking English so I can understand her.

>What would you do to impress.
I don't know. Give her the black dick and make a bunch of future people butthurt Joan of Arc was Black'd. Or she became Joan of Black'd and that I called her my wife in a dumb letter that the church hangs on to and makes more people in the future mad about. Just historically shitposting.

That's doubly haram.
Joan is for faithful and chaste following, and slaying the ennemies of France together. She's an instrument of God's wrath, not gf material.

She managed to make a bunch of french knights go completely fanboy instead of trying to bed her, I doubt anyone else would have more luck.

pray the rosary with her.

Set her on fire

Basically beg her to enslave me

Show her kitten pictures

cut off my left nut to appease the fire gods or whatever the fuck they had back then

"Omelette du fromage"

Ahhh, the language of love

She loved cannons so I discuss and tell her about what modern artilleries can do

I pin her down and violently rape her. When I'm done I slit her throat.

t. Englishman

Publish a series of open letters against the Hussites and then make war upon them.

Good answer

Nigger

Tell her that her upper body strength is only 40% that of a man, and that she should really not be fighting.

a*glo scum

kek

Wear pants

Show her Statue of Liberty r34 porn

I too am angry and disappointed

>not impregnating her and having her give birth what she hates the most

shit taste desu

Propose on the spot desu

scream incoherently and then drop my pants, pop a squat, and loose a fat stinking poo on the floor while maintaining eye contact with her.

sing the Marseillaise

Melt her hearing aid.
Melt her walkman.

Alternatively,

>convert her to paganism

find on google the most beautiful poem from a french poet of the 19th century like rimbaud or something. take a knee, look deep in her eyes and proceed to tell the poem. After that I'd tell her she's the love of my life and I want to marry her. Then we fucc

rape her before presenting her to the king as any true eternal anglo would

Americans are anglo tho

Nay

>hates the English but loves the frogs
>claims to be American
25% German ancestry right there

burn her steak

We are the better Anglos.

...

The cannons bit is rather funny. Joan historically loved cannons and other artillery like crazy and basically wanted as many of them as possible. She'd spend a lot of time sitting and talking with the various gunners in her army about how they worked. She'd have made a really good artillery officer in another time.
>tfw no medieval /k/fu

Show her thecybersmith's tumblr

Firing range until 6 or 7, then Catholic mass. She'd love that shit.

>the fuck would you do on a firing range for hours and hours the ammo cost would be insane

Hey if I was in a date with Joan of Arc I'd spend every penny on me for her to enjoy. Plus if it was something like that machinegun range someone set up in Texas or some shit like that I'd come out cumming from every orifice myself.

Maybe she was just really ugly and masculine?

personal testament from her squire describes her as "shapely" and "beautiful"

Achmed plz

You morons, it was a euphemism for cock

joan-of-arc.org/joanofarc_footnote_319.html
>Jean d'Aulon, her squire and bodyguard: "Even though she was a young girl, beautiful and shapely, and there were many times, when helping her to put on her armor or otherwise, I have seen her breasts [i.e., the shape of the breasts underneath her tunic: clothing was always worn with armor, needless to say]; and sometimes her legs completely bare when dressing her wounds, [i.e., at the siege of Paris where she was shot in the thigh] and I went near to her many times, and I was [at that time] strong, young and in my prime, never did I feel carnal desire towards her from any sight or contact I had with the Maiden; neither did any of her soldiers or squires, based on what I heard them say many times." (For the original language, see: DuParc's "Procès en Nullité...", Vol I, p. 486; for translations, see Oursel's "Les Procès de Jeanne d'Arc", p. 356, and Pernoud's "The Retrial of Joan of Arc", p. 154).

An ENTIRE ARMY of beta orbiters

Actually Jeanne was not very proficient in the art of war, though she was very good at spotting new talents. She got the advice of the Bureau brothers, real pioneers who developped and intergrated artillery in the army. It was their handywork that allowed the French to blow Anglos to smithereens by the end of the war.

>>/a/

>An ENTIRE ARMY of beta orbiters
more like an entire army of ubermensch, not commanded by their basic instincts but by god himself on a quest to save France.

t. virgin

Eat two sammiches (she had anorexia, you know).
Compliment her kyoot pixie hairstyle.
Show her my power level by hover hand.

Talk to her about babies.

>strong american man

Joan-chan, do you want to practice witch magic together?

Just imagine how much pottage must have spilled when they tried talking to her.

Give her a tour of the nearby Cathedral.

Ask if she likes it.

Ask her about babies and how many she wants to have...

>entire army of knights band around her
>not to fuck her, but to protect her smile
>still fail
Imagine being a knight and failing your maidenfu like that

Take her to see the evils visited upon France by German filth, and get her to rally the country against them once more.

he ANGLO man is the epitome of male dominance and masculinity.
Let's start by looking at his body. His body is large. His domineering size makes his presence known without him even needing to point himself out. He is muscular, as a result of his high levels of testosterone. This gives him the appearance of health and strength. He is then covered by his pink skin. This pink skin reminds us of his ruggedness, a feature that developed due to being exposed to the scorching sun of England, made to withstand such an extreme condition. It also has a psychological effect on the observer. The pink skin reminds us of our enlightened, deep desires that emerge from our primal subconscious past.
The ANGLO man's demeanor is one of alphaness. He is dominant, assertive, and can be explosively aggressive. His behaviour strikes fear into the more timid, cowardly races of man(Turkroaches,Pakis,medshits,krauts,niggers and amerimutts)
The summit of expression of his masculinity on his body is his penis. The ANGLO penis is largest of all the races. As the penis is the penultimate symbol of manhood, this alone would suffice to make the ANGLO man the most masculine of men. This large penis is able fulfill the desire of the neediest of women, being able to more than fill all the recesses of the vagina. Its length ensures that when it ejaculates, the potent English seed will immediately enter the womb of the woman the ANGLO man impregnates.
In total, the ANGLO man expresses this masculinity in a most exemplary manner in bed. When he fucks, he unleashes the entirety of his lusts and desires upon his partner without any restraint.
All this is the reason why the ANGLO man is the epitome of masculinity.

How many are your vicinity?

I expect the sequel to this thread to be dating pregnant Anne Frank or Anastasia Romanov

Show her my juggling skills

Rape her obviously shes a british woman meaning she wants to be raped every second.

>Ask her to pray together before eating the food
>Talk about Theology and French history
>Tell her how great french future will look
>Impress her by publicly executing anglo for breathing the french air
>Hold hands with her while watching bongs burn to death

Nothing man, I'm too scared to talk to girls

>Tell her how great french future will look

this.

Bump

TELL ME ABOUT JOAN

WHY DOES SHE WEAR THE ARMOR?

>Be a mongrel born of an English father and a French mother
>Hold dual nationality
I think my chances of even approaching her are pretty foutu, m8s

t. French Algerian/Paki Bongistani mutt

That's not very halal of you, peace be avec lui

Je parle tu elle that je have la grande rapier for elle to polish

A foolish wench that received fake vision from a false deity that is rightfully exposed as a delusional cross dressing heretic witch
Too bad the godless catholics bowed over to demand and made her a saint

...

I act like a proper Christian gentleman and treat this young dame with respect while likewise showing off my rudimentary by wide-encompassing knowledge of the era.

I also pledge to strike down any English heretic that dare have the gall to declare her the same in spite of their own already visibly waning faith. There are few things that bring more ire to myself than a hypocrite.

Come to think of it, wasn't her band of knights one of the fleeting recorded cases of doing the whole chivalry ideal to survive into the modern age? Do any of the individual knights ever get stories written about them?

I'm Orthodox so she would probably get pretty mad at me.

>What would you do to impress her?

unsheathe my superior Anglo cock and fuck her cheese eating brains out