If your training partner is more skilled than you and is tapping you out...

If your training partner is more skilled than you and is tapping you out, does that give him the right to stop the sparring session and "teach you" instead?

So I'm pretty new to BJJ and I'm skinny as fuck, like 120 lbs, 6'1 and 18 years old. Anyway, because of this I'm always left sparring with this 11 year old white kid who must weight about 80 lbs and be like a foot shorter. The problem is that he always wins and by a lot. Not only is he more skilled but he's stronger than me as well and once got 11 (yes, really 11) tap outs in 15 minutes. To make it worse, we've been training for the same amount of time (he actually showed up a week after me), 2 months so I can't use experience as an excuse.

So anyway, I couldn't even last for 30 seconds in the last session and he offered to stop and teach me drills instead. However, all he talked about in the drills were gym related and not helpful at all. Is he a dick and should I get a new training partner?

>lanklets

Youre approaching it incorrectly. Focus on improving yourself, not beating partners. Thats why youre grtting offended. Keep the techniques youve learned in mind and try to execute them correctly rather than just "winning".

Your body type is great for jiu jitsu, ignore the manletposters.

Thanks, man. It's just hard to execute techniques learnt when the kid is countering every time. Shit gets emasculating after a while.

I started training BJJ as a 5'10, 130 pound 14-year-old in an adult class where I was rolling with grown 200 pound men. It took six months of tapping out every 30-90 seconds before I tapped anyone. Within a few years I only put on 10-15 pounds but with technique I was able to beat anyone in class under the black belt level and eventually competed in MMA with a 6-3 record.

Believe it or not, getting your ass kicked and humiliated consistently is a valuable experience, as long as you learn from it and don't give up.

He knows the same amount as you do, you can counter him just as well if you apply your knowledge. Try new techniques that you dont usually utilize, people get stuck in one "game" and dont advance because they dont believe that they can succesfully execute the techniques they know. If he offer advice take it and ask for more. When he counters you ask him or a higher belt what you should do to avoid it.

You're probably right, but how do I know if I'm learning? It sort of feels like he's just choking me for 15 minutes.

How is he stronger than you?
You've got 40lbs on him and he's a foot shorter. Maybe he's beating you with technique alone?

Nigga, youve been training 2 months. Ive been training 3 years and i feel like I know nothing. Slow down and focus on learning or youre never gonna make it.

Definitely not. Take for example the guard, he can break my guard from force alone but when I'm in his guard I often tap out from it. I actually had to go to the toilets to throw up after one particularly intense closed guard. Not to mention, you can just tell when a person is stronger.

Only thing to do is swallow your pride and drill more. Eventually muscle memory will kick in during sparring. The first 6-12 months is like flailing around in a pool and just trying not to drown. After year one you start learning how to swim. In the meantime, just focus on your breath and your technique.

I don't think I spent more than 30 seconds in top control against anyone my first year. Because of that I got really good at subbing people from guard. Being lanky means you could develop a sick triangle choke if you work at it over and over again.

Also, eat more (250-500 calories over your total daily energy expenditure--you'll know you're doing it right when you gain 0.5-1 pound per week) and do compound barbell lifts 2-3 times a week (should take no more than 45-60 minutes per session). You have the advantage of Myfitnesspal and YouTube tutorials--I would kill to go back in time to give my skinny teenage self those tools!

Well I'm fucked, I can't swim.

I'm always on the bottom, but my guard is pathetic and usually just get put in the high mount. How can I get a better guard if he can just break it by force? I'm doing it as hard as I can but he just pushes my guard down.

I'm really trying with the weight, but have to eat like 6 meals a day to maintain my current weight. I have no excuse for not working out though, that's just laziness I'll sign up to a gym for sure.

What paragraph of advice could we possibly give you that would make you instantly roll better? Keep fucking training you little pussy, ask your instructor and the higher belts for guidance after class.

I just wanted advice with guards.

everyone fucking sucks at bjj for a long time. only humble people who lose their ego while training can improve.

nobody has anything to prove in training. all you can do is listen, ask questions, try new things and repeat.

Work on your reverse de la worm guard, guaranteed sweeps every time

Look into open guard and sweeps on YouTube, watch a few instructional clips several times and get a partner to practice those moves with before or after class. Your goal should not simply be to squeeze your legs hard enough that a guy can't break your guard. In a street fight or in MMA you'd just get beat up from that position anyway.

Work on flexibility to loosen your hips and drill the fuck out of shrimping and other escapes from side control and full mount. The more a guy breaks past your guard, the more opportunities you'll have to practice escaping those bad positions. That is a far more valuable use of your training time than just holding a guy in your guard, which is merely playing it safe anyway. It will be frustrating for a while but you need to be patient. That's a life skill in itself.

You can start squatting, sounds like his legs are 10 times stronger than yours. No technique is going to overcome that deficit.

Funny you should mention this, that's what the kid kept on going on about instead of going over techniques.

Actually just sounded like he was bragging to me, he kept mentioning how high his numbers were after about every sentence. No kid his size can squat 160 lbs anyway, pretty sure he inflated it. What an asshole.

dude he's 11. preteens and teenagers are all about bragging and caring what other people think of them. and it's not impossible for an 11 year old to squat 160.

kind of like how you're still a teenager and are buttmad about getting beat in training. in fact i doubt you are even 18, you sound like a middle schooler too.

It's pretty much impossible though.

And yup, trust me I'm 18. I'm even balding! Good old genetics.

Bump!

This is the saddest thing I've ever fucking read.

This

This, how do you not just put your hand on his forehead and avoid all of his attacks

Protip: If you're in guard, don't lie there like a Quaker girl. Reach up, break his posture, and attack him. If you just let him do whatever he wants, he's gonna pass your guard every time. Just learn a couple submissions from full guard and work on trying to get those when you're on bottom. When on top, work on passing to side control and go from there.

But desu the biggest thing is to just toughen the fuck up. If you're being overpowered by an 11 year old, you need to do some serious fucking lifting.

When I reach up, he just grabs my arms and twists.
I will start lifting for sure. Got to stop being lazy.