How do you properly wipe your ass? If I only wipe the outside I can feel the poo on the inner ring of my butthole...

How do you properly wipe your ass? If I only wipe the outside I can feel the poo on the inner ring of my butthole. I have to coat my finger in tp and dive about an inch deep to get it all but that causes dingle berries and its uncomfortable. Now I use baby wipes for inner cleaning but my bro informed me it's not normal.

Also to keep it fit related, could squatting cause problems down there?

I'm interested in this too

I try to shower after shitting before going anywhere public. If I can't, then I'll use the sink and wet the toilet paper and scrub the butthole a bunch, usually is pretty effective.

If I'm in public, I usually use my spit and do the same thing, works much less, but gets the job done.

If I don't water clean my ass, the poo residue stays there and it itches and smells. I think that's completely normal.

What the fuck am I reading

You are gay

>mfw apparently 50% of people stand up to wipe their ass

I'm not the one with a smelly asshole, friend.

wet wipes or bidet

When I was a kid I did that, but I don't know how any adult could think that's acceptable.

The more actions you do while seated on the toilet the more feminine you are, buk toof.

>dingle berries
What is that?

Well my dick is in the way so it's a lot easier to stand up and do it, anyway I usually shower afterwards unless it's in a public restroom obviously.

>Not doing the reach around

bidet you disgusting 3rd world fuck

burgers

anyone gap to?

This guy gets it. Or shower if at home.

>op

Fatty here. I am 400lb, was 450lb at the heaviest.
When I was really fucking fat I managed to research ass wiping and think I can help

I did about 10 months of tracking my shit stains.
I noticed that my shitstains were worse in what I call 'vibration wipe months' where I inserted my hand into my ass and vibrated it. My ass was very flabby and I got tired reaching down so this was the easiest way to wie.

At the same time, my shitstains were at their least noticable in months where I sat on the toilet for 30 minutes after shitting to let my ass dry off. Amazingly, I was so fat that not wiping was the best way to keep my pants clean.

If you are very fat and struggling use the natural dry method.

I also noticed that if I wiped too much I'd get more tired and sleep very deeply causing me to shit the bed on occassion so I took to wearing adult diapers for a time at night.

One thing I dont reccommend is shaving your ass. I tried it and as it turned out, the hair was trapping the smell. For about 5 months I had a horrible stinking ass. I used to wipe cum in my asshole to try and sterilise the smell and I was a NEET for this entire period, unsurpisngly.

YOU GUYS CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO WIPE YOUR ASS WHICH IS SOMETHING LEARNT AS A CHILD! NO WONDER YOU ALL HAVE NO GF'S

HOLY FUCK

I apreciate your research user but you are a disgusting human being

>At the same time, my shitstains were at their least noticable in months where I sat on the toilet for 30 minutes after shitting to let my ass dry off.

>how to get hemorrhoids

>I used to wipe cum in my asshole to try and sterilise the smell and I was a NEET for this entire period, unsurpisngly.

Holy shit my seids

After one relieves himself, he must cleanse himself of impurities either with water – which is best and most perfect – or with something other than water which will remove the impurities.

Water is permissible; the evidence for that is the hadeeth of Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to relieve himself, then another boy and I would bring a vessel of water and a short spear [to use as a sutrah for the prayer he was going to do after doing wudoo’] and he would cleanse himself with the water.”

Removing impurities with stones is sufficient. This is indicated by the words and actions of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). With regard to his words, Salmaan (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade us to use less than three stones for the purpose of istijmaar.”

Using first stones and then water is not attested to, but most assuredly should be more effective than either stones or water alone. The use of paper is permissible only if water or stones are not available, but if water is available, you can bring some water to the toilet and use it to clean yourself.

We have established that wiping oneself means removing impurity on both passages, front and back, with a stone or a tissue and the like. The number of wipes should be no less than three, and to achieve purity, which is the removal of the impurity and making the place dry. The sign that purity has been attained is that the last wipe should come back dry with no trace of impurity on it. And if that is done, then the purpose has been fulfilled and the place has become pure. It is best to make it an odd number, so if it becomes clean after four wipes, it is prescribed to do a fifth, and if it becomes clean after six, it is prescribed to do a seventh, because of the general meaning of the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever cleans himself, let him make it an odd number.”

But if what you mean by istijmaar is washing the traces of impurity with water, no number is stipulated in this case, and what is required is to wash off the impurity until you think that it has most likely been removed. In this case it is sufficient to act upon what you think is most likely, and it is not stipulated that you should be certain that it has been removed. Be comforted that If water gets inside the anus when cleaning oneself after defecating, that does not break the Ramadan fast, because this is not food or drink, and it does not come under the same ruling as eating and drinking.

I just wipe until the next paper is clean. I mostly shit in public bathrooms these days so I can't apply water.

Those living in areas where seashells are available may ask if using those instead of stones is acceptable; it is. It is permissible to use them because of the hadeeth, “For you is every bone over which the name of Allaah was pronounced [when the animal was slaughtered].” And these shells are not slaughtered, so they are not like animals which we are permitted to eat, over which the name of Allah is pronounced at the time of slaughter, and the bones of which we are forbidden to use to clean ourselves after defecating, because they are the food of the Muslim jinn, as stated in the hadeeth quoted above.

I do a half squat with my ass stuck really far back

dick and balls are in the way if i'm sitting

when sitting, if i'm at home, I elevate my feet on the lower shelf of a small shelf that's in front of the toilet, and pull my buttcheeks apart, using my weight on the toilet seat to keep them spread

i use flushable wet wipes as much as possible, making sure to do multiple front-to-back and then back-to-front passes

I always finger my ass when wiping to get really clean.

I also always squeeze my dick from the taint and dab it til it's completely dry after pissing.

I like to have a pleasant-smelling pelvis, and my gf enjoys it too.

(i should clarify that my feet are elevated during the shitting itself, not the wiping)

>and pull my buttcheeks apart, using my weight on the toilet seat to keep them spread


I do this too. Super effective if you like No-Wipe poops.

>poo residue stays there and it itches and smells
>I think that's completely normal

HOLY SHIT THAT IS NOT NORMAL I REPEAT THATS IS NOT NORMAL

was gonna browse Veeky Forums for a bit but yeah, nevermind, maybe tomorrow, good luck lads

Flushable wipes are flushable only in the sense that they will physically be flushed, but they can clog your pipes. You're asking for trouble for yourself or whoever moves into your home after you.

i stand but with one foot up on the toilet bowel for better cheek spread

This is why bidets were invented.

>400lb
>when I was really fucking fat

What about using three seashells?

> flushable wet wipes

Enjoy your plumbing bills

My torso is really fucking long and my shoulders are very fucking wide, but my legs and arms are short as fuck. I can barely reach my butt. I just stand up and do some slight acrobatics to reach it comfortably enough.

Consider suicide because that sounds terrible

that's what i do, is this a problem? you can get the best angles when standing and who cares cause there's no one else in there to judge

sometimes i face the other way on the toilet when shitting too

...

>sometimes i face the other way on the toilet when shitting too

Listen to me you fucking animal, what you do is fold up three squares of TP and place it deep inside your assguts. Then you clench and suck the TP as far into your manly depths as you can. That's how you get up there. Great talking to you.

Bidet is the only right answer .
Also, i live in a 3rd world shithole and it's normal for us to have bidets

Upward j motion didnt you learn this in health class in elementary?

I wipe normally and then I take a bit of tp and wet it with warm water, then I stick that in my butthole about half an inch. Maybe do it twice.

Take a shower after you poop to clean yourself. If you can't then just keep using the baby wipes and don't ask your friends about cleaning your ass hole you autist. As long as you get it clean you don't need to disclose how you get it done.

Disgusting fat fuck

>not just going shit to shower
absolute plebs

Dude how do people even get streak marks/shit stains on their under wear?

...

I guess you don't have a bidet shower. I'd just use baby wipes then.

Get a bidet shower if you can modify your bathroom at all. Any woman will love you for it too.


>in-laws don't have a bidet shower
>the barbarians
>have to use baby wipes
>nasty

...

*clears throat*

That's enough internet for me, good night anons someone screen cap this for fph

>he doesnt use the shower head
Be sure to enjoy those shit stains in your underwear. Also you nasty niggers smell like shit without noticing it fyi

ive got a problem where even if i wipe beyond the paper being white i will have to come back to it multiple times throughout the day! like ive got a leaky butthole or something it is insufferable! and ive never done anal before so tight butthole, why cant my ass just stay clean after the first wiping sesh! h

OK

JUST INSTALL A BIDET IN YOUR TOILET.

I don't know how you will provide the water for it, idk just extend a pipe from your tap, JUST attach that fucking bidet. Even shower doesn't pressure your butthole enough to make you feel clean. Bidet fixes everything.

Someone's screen shotting this, right?

You still have to wipe you fucking animal.

eat something that makes your shit and butthole more solid

i use diapers myself, no issues with shit or piss and highly comfortable

Include me in the screen [spoiler]crap[/spoiler].

>1st wipe: lightly rub some tp over my asshole first, to catch any chunks that might be there and prevent them from smearing

>2nd wipe: lightly rub some tp again around the edges of my asshole to look for any more pieces that may be leftover

>3rd wipe: wipe up and down with a bit more force

>continue third step with increasing levels of force as many times needed until tp leaves no smudges

If I notice that my ass itches and things aren't smelling too rosy, I just use some wet wipes and problem is solved. Also since I shower almost everyday, I use a little babyoil in the inner sanctum. using soap in the anus tends to make things overly dry.

...

Am I supposed to just pull my dick out at a urinal?

Srs question I don't even know, I've used stalls since I was like 10.

hmmm

Holy shit who reaches down between the front of their legs to get to their ass? Lmao that your parents threw you to the wolves instead of potty training you properly. You reach around behind you, mong.

Take a shower afterwards. Both are a once a day event and complement each other very well.
If you have a good diet you can even shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain.

>come to this website to learn about basket wearing
>End up in a thread about wiping your ass

What kind of place is this?

I've been wondering this for a while too, if I only wipe the outside I feel like the job wasn't done completely so I wipe just 5mm of the inside too and I also try to time my shit before shower.

THREE STONES C'MON

yeah, walk up close to it, whip it out, pee, shake it off for a few seconds and then put it back

>Also to keep it fit related, could squatting cause problems down there?
Yes, hemorrhoids.

Also, do others roll their foreskin back before peeing?

You are the true embodiment of T-rex mode.

Yes. I'm cut, but I still like to pull the skin back, brush hair out of the way, check for any head hairs that got stuck on me from my shower, etc. when I go to pee.

Yes. You should always do this.

How else would you even do it, you idiot?

it's 2017 and 90% still havent a fucking bidet
this thing really drives me crazy

Even if I get a bidet, I've only ever been to one office that has bidet attachments on their toilets.

America is still a developing nation, it seems

I'm about to school u guys rn

>wipe regularly until tp comes off clean
>wet and soap finger
>stick in, do a pulling motion upwards with the nail
>wipe and wash hand

The guaranteed cleanest, easiest method to get a fresh clean every time. The finger thing, doctor recommended to remove excess shit.

Stay fresh out there. Niggas wit class got cleaner ass then the bitches dat pass

For some reason I always ejaculate in my hand and then wash it down after few seconds.

>(((bidet))) shills have taken over this board
fuck

Buy once of those intimate soaps women use for their vaginas to clean your ass after shitting. Use a bidet or shower. Shave ass for maximum comfort.
>bonus point
If youre insecure or someone is going to eat your ass, put a mintflavoured tictak in your ass

Hope it helps

>I have to coat my finger in tp and dive about an inch deep

lol

Holy shit this thread.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

what the fuck is wrong with the people in this website

are you trolling me? thats puke worthy

These threads,holy fuck...

Yall fucking pathetic

No wonder 90% of you don't have a gf

Dont worry fucking dipshits you never will

Kys and make the world a better place

damn i have to write on seperate paper how to take a piss in the urinal man this is nerverecking

No matter how much I shake off after peeing I always get couple of drops in my panties.

Leaky gut. Take l gutamine to repair your gut

This is a real problem since I began to get fit, nobody would take me seriously but my butt has become bigger and my butt hole in exchange isn't exposed to air at all, it's moist as fuck down there and my legs are actually getting to a point where they are so big they run against each other when I walk.
I use baby wipes, it's normal, but I still dig into my ass, even then, sometimes there is some residue coming out and it itches when I walk, then I have to go again, wipe again.

Please tell me this thread is ironic. I refuse to believe that retards who dont know how to wipe their asses live among civilized people.

There is a a saying in swedish:

Hur mycket än i snoppen drar, sista droppen byxan tar

i love Veeky Forums

Now this is a good post