You wake up as Napoleon and see this

You wake up as Napoleon and see this.
How do you proceed?

>france did all this and wasn't broken up
>germany does this and it's a problem

Restore the Republic and shoot myself in the head.

Give my Empire a rest.
Work on improving the economy.
Build up a navy and actually guard it this time.
For fucks sake work to reduce tension on the continent and with GB.
Invest in a diplomatic corps with which to preserve the gains hundreds of thousands of my country-men died to make.

>durr why dident naboleon just nice to every1 aftr he conker??

French Catalonia, French Istria, French Toscany, French Northern Germany, the Rhineland and the Low Countries were all taken away with any proper justification despite being righful french clay

Wait for my agressive expansion to tick down

Surrender

Form a pact with Russia to carve up the middle east, give them the Balkans apart from Greece, Turkey, and the Caucasus, and take the rest for France. Kill all the Imams and convert all the mosques to Churches.

It was not agressive expansion but selfdefense. Napoleon never started a war on his own account

This, also make all of Europe build ships for years and invade England with a giant army. Genocide everybody there and do whatever after that.

damn you're a loser
shouldnt you be playing with your connect the dots book

they missed a piece

mentally disabled children think life is a videogame

bad post

The Ottomans, damn it Napoleon! Head for the Ottomans!

Invade Russia

you have autism shut up

*tips fedora*
righty ho' chapperoo
mother dearest, tendies i say!!

for napoleon life sure was a video game, he always had more units he could raise, no matter how man campaigns and scores of men he had to abandon, he even got to play again

>Napoleon never started a war on his own account

The Ottomans were terrified of Nappy, and so were the Russians. They'd jump at the chance of a real alliance with France, and would dearly love to have a go at Turkey.

juz like me:D

Elect Her.

>dearly love
pip pip mother tendies i say now!!!

men like me and napoleon are better than the rest of you, that's clear

you think you're a funny character typing like that but you sound as faggy as you are stupid and unfunny

5'4 with a wife that fucks other men is the only thing you have in common with napoleon

Why is she so perfect?

Some serious samefagging ITT

im prussian im epic

...

if you really knew anything about napoleon you would know that he uses women as he wills

If I were "the lad" aka Nappy, I would BTFO all the SJWs, Niggers, Mudslimes whilst carving out a worldwide empire in alliance with all the other Based Empires like Britball and the glorious Tsardom. Deus Kek, and long live Europa!

...

i guess there's only the height similarity then you dumb incel

*dabs while listening to Globus - Europa*

Arise My European-Weiss-Gamers

what are you going outside your containment board?

I love her

why do you suck cock, you gay little shit

Why is she so perfect?

you're on the wrong board

sage

this is already /pol/v/

Bring the grandarmee to spain and sort that out

shut up faggot

retard

THIS THREAD
IS MINE

YOU
WILL BE NEXT

...

Francia delenda est

Why did you post Varoufakis?

Imagine him raping you with that smile

Great taste my friend

How do you not see your the same as prussiaboos but just being cringey 12 year olds over napoleon instead?

>your the same
Are you mentally disabled?

...

MODS do your job you sloth cunts

Are you mentally disabled?

Are you mentally disabled?

MOMMY MOMMY HELP ME THEY RUIN GAME AAAAAAA NO

PRETTY COLOUR MAPPY HAPPY NO MEAN BLACKY POO IN NAPPY

>le arguments
>angry pol nerd meme
Are you mentally disabled?

Fuck off and stop ruining Varoufakis for me you schizophrenic

gsg wuz here

kill yourself quick ting yeh.

Tell my court that God gave me a vision, draw out designs for semi-automatic or automatic rifles from just before the first world war that work with blackpowder
shit out blueprints for anything else I can remember and write up random information from the future in tomes
go full christian, use the "vision" and the technology it granted to validate my rule of europe as god's chosen king, expand to balkans and scandinavia then stop there
reform church/state to become a theocractic empire
hope I don't wake up in the year 2017 affected by my shitposting

hella fucking EPIC for the win dude...YEAH!!! STEAMPUNK NAPOLEON!!!

not sure where you got steampunk

>le ebic greentext
>le 168th french play through on Europe universalises IV
Are you mentally disabled?

FUCKING....GUNS...AND GOD...HELL...FUCKING YEAH!! YABBADABBADOO!!!

guns aren't steampunk
religion I believe is mostly absent from steampunk settings

was it autism

No, just shitposting

I must invade Russia.

HOLY SHIT!!!! EPIC !!! EPIC... MY LITTLE BALLS ARE ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!!! OH SHIT !!!! GOD !!!! THE JUICES ARE FLOWING NOW SONNY !!!! HERE WE GO !!!! I'M CUUMMMINNGGG

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD MMOMMY TISSUES...CUM CUMCMCCUCMCUMMMMY!!

...

Napoleon invaded Russia brainlet

...

>Don't sell Lousiana.
>Make a deal with Britain: France will give up their European conquests and help Britani carve up the United States
>Britain gets back most of it's former colonies, France gets Southern USA
>Put all efforts into colonizing America all the way to the West Coast
>Take Mexico from Spain
>most of Norther America is French now
>treat the new posessions as overseas territories rather than colonies, give colonists representation
>France gets filthy rich from cotton and later from oil
>promote democracy and free market like the USA did irl, get millions of Europeans migrating to Louisiana

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!!?!??!?

...

I think I know you from r/polandball, what was your username again?

If Napoleon wasn't aggressive he would have made peaces that were actually acceptable to the rest of Europe like had been done in the past instead of just trying to core everything he more then he had admin power and diplo rep for

...

>ally the Russians
>start building ships so that I can finally solve the Anglo-problem
>achieve world peace and create the Francophone utopia

Offer the Russians and Austrians split influence over Poland and assistance for a joint invasion of the Ottomans in the hope they don't resume relations with the British. Hopefully once they are preoccupied fighting the Ottomans I could use the time to finish off the Portuguese and British in Iberia.

I'd probably also try and dismantle Spain in to several semi-autonomous regions ruled by their own linguistic groups that recognize French hegemony in Iberia. I'd also stop letting my useless brothers be Kings and give such assignments to Generals I can trust.

Long term assuming I can establish peace on the continent my hope would be to encourage learning French on the various linguistic groups in not only France but Italy and Spain as well. Maybe institute tax deductions on French speaking people or parents that have their children enrolled on French language classes, something like a Jizya tax. Also create French colonies for retired soldiers in the less French regions similar to the Roman system.

I'd want to emulate the Western Roman Empire so I'd pull back from across the Rhine and maybe incorporate the North German and Dutch things in to Denmark to counter-balance the Confederation of the Rhine.


Also have another son, I don't care if I have to drag Marie across Europe with me to do it but I'm not putting the hopes on my dynasty on a single son + a bastard and my useless brothers and nephews.

Doos dult!!!

The Ottoman empire fell anyway, Mehmed. It would have just been more beneficial for both Napoleon and the Balkans if it had happened earlier.

>Austria attacks you for the third time this decade
>rape their shit and march through Vienna, as usual
>still do not remove their emperor
>still do not destroy their empire
>take some possessions (aka non-Austrian land they oppressed) from them because they still need a punishement for all the French lives that were lost

WOW SUCH HARSH!!!!

desu France in Europa Universalis is the most fun nation to play.

Build alliance with Portuguese and Russian.

Help GB squash the moderate rebels in the new world.

Make sure French remains the most popular language.

Profit.

the croatians weren't really oppressed they even encouraged them first to attack the hungarians during their independence war.

You don't fuck with family.

Habsburgers do.

The fuck? None of the French scout troops I've been with ever wore anything like those badges. Did they watch Up too many times or something?

The BSA has been going downhill for years
It’s dead at this point, they just started letting girls become Boy Scouts last year

The Habsburgers were Nap's family though. Habsburger child and Habsburger wife tend to make your soul weak.

The Arseburgers only became Napoleon's family after the third time they attacked tho
Napoleon was very fed up of their shit, so his plan to stop them from attacking France (other than destroying Austria altogether) every three years was to marry the daughter of the Austrian emperor

Turns out it didn't work, Austrians still attacked him as soon as he lost his army in Russia
Austrian "honor"

>The BSA has been going downhill for years
Don't know about that. Our troop is only connected to the BSA through our national scouting organization. We're seeing a membership drop, though, and the new kids are pretty bad.
>they just started letting girls become Boy Scouts last year
There's nothing wrong with that. We've had female scouts for over 40 years around here.

>all three campaigns against napoleon
>lost
>the battle of vienna, only saved by the polish cavalry
>still would have lost it
>unification wars in germany
>lost
>the hungarian independence war
>lost
>ww1
>lost
austrians arent really good at fighting huh

They're the worst