Hows the depression going, user? Are you hanging in there?

I got a down a little bit. Pretty much started drinking again, and missed the only couple of little social interaction I have on the week.

Now I'm feeling better.

i got a job bro

just keep applying..but make sure you apply..and make sure you have the right drive and longterm focus in mind

>professional

i went to the psychologist once for my anxiety but i had to do stupid internet exercises and just left after the third visit. I don't think going to the doctor will help.. i think atleast, i dont want to be on meds desu i'll see how it turns out. I just want this constant fear for no reason to be over

we're all gonna make it brahs, been here since the board was added and i've seen a fair share of people making it

This, I was dealing with it for more than a year, decided to take shrooms and the trip made me realise I was being a bitch and it made me want to start lifting
Now I feel better than ever

wish some of the old guys were still around.

obreezy, quad, tiny, ennui, rolan, atiwab etc.

had an entire batch of seeds and not 1 took to the soil, so i'm out about $100 and quit some time. the worst feeling is when you're genuinely trying your best, but nothing sticks.
taking it as a chance to throw myself back into lifting and teaching myself stuff, since i have yet to find a real job or go back to uni. after this year i'll be able to go back with a fresh GPA due to how they regulate medical leave for students, so if i can get on that i'd be stoked.
meeting with a doc for reconstructive surgery in june, so when i get that done i'll be out of commission for several weeks. probably gonna take that time to go through some books and focus more on guitar or something.
i still feel an all encompassing sense of guilt, shame, and failure but i'm doing better. what i've been trying to tell myself when i get depressed or when i'm super anxious is "when you're going through hell, keep going. the worst thing you can do is stop, because you'll only stay where you're already at." i think it's a churchill quote originally, but it's an idea thats been thrown around for so long it's become cliche tbqh

fuarkk that kinda cheered me up thanks

Ennui was a cunt, but SteamRolan was here just yesterday. Tiny gave up on making it completely, sad story. I do miss quad, he helped me break though my OHP plateau.

If you cured it with a shroom trip I doubt it was serious, especially if the reason was that you were being a beta bitch

i haven't been here since late 2013. Didn't know Rolan was still around though, cool.

As far as i remember quad got doxxed, had problems with his team because someone snitched, don't know how much truth there is to that though.

>feel sad
>get on treadmill
>put in earbuds
>JOSIE'S ON A VACATION FAR AWAY

I'm not depressed anymore, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my adult life. That's not saying life is swell, though. I still can't get over my crippling performance anxiety. I can't imagine ANY position at ANY workplace where I'd be worth my salary. It's the same reason I trip myself up when it comes to landing a girl. I'm not a bad looking guy, girls in my class are showing clear interest, but every time they're ready and willing to come home with me I chicken out because I know I'm never gonna be able to satisfy them sexually or romantically.
I lift because it makes me feel good, because I thoroughly enjoy it. It's the one thing I can do where I can only disappoint myself. As such, it's the one thing where I'm not a waste of space to everyone around me. And for some reason that keeps me going, happy to wake up each and every morning, ready to accept and deal with the fact that I'll never amount to shit.

Your problem is that you have already sold yourself short before anything even happens. Trust me when i tell you that any girl out there, no matter if it's a 10/10 stacy, she's gonna be more insecure than you, after all, that's what women do. Even if you don't, pretend that you know what you're doing when talking to a person, the sooner you take control of a dialogue, dinner, meeting whatever, the sooner you can relax in said meeting, dinner etc.

As for the work issue, i had them as well when i was younger but i just stopped giving a fuck. What's the worst thing that's gonna happen? getting fired? who gives a shit.

In the end we're all just hairless apes pretending we know what we do on a little planet somewhere in space.

fixed my sleep schedule and now I'm waking up at 6:30 am and sunbathing for 5 minutes. starting /fitlit/ starting with the greeks so a lot of manhood and virtue inspo. went to my first session on a psychologist but now I kinda don't want to continue because I don't wanna talk about shitty stuff.
still no friends
still a virgin who's never had a gf
still no money and no job
still a failing student
but not feeling that bad desu

i'm in the same shoes user

That's not true. They've done studies on people with terminal cancer and shrooms lifted their depression for 6 to 12 months with one dose. You're free to have your opinions, but shrooms can be incredible powerful and healing.

i'm making it worse by being a dick to the person i like and i don't know why

...

You're going to make it user. You will be just fine.

It's been a rough couple weeks with Uni Finals. I barely sleep anymore and the only thing keeping me up is shots of caffeine.

Am I gonna make it bruhs?

OP here, thanks for sharing your stories. I'm going to sleep all this kinda cheered me up thanks

100%.

Days go by without me noticing. Working and lifting are pretty much only things I do, I don't feel like doing anything so I just fill the rest of the day with meaningless shit like vidya and youtube.

So it's going pretty shitty actually.

Are you in some dead end job or are you actually working towards something?

iktf brehs
I said fuck it and started taking meds for my bp-II and w/e else seeing as drugs are drugs. My dog died recently and it cost way too much just to have him put down the next day, but fuck seeing my nigga deteriorate day by day was heartbreaking. But I've been doing p good ab it, every time I get the impulse to cry I snap out of it and do a few sets of pullups and burpees.
Instead of indulging in depressive behavior like before, I choose to DO something, whether it be workout, sketch a quick page of random shit, organize shit, or even trying to play vidya again. All I need to do is quit smoking weed.
Get a hobby fr niggas, and just act like you're passionate about it and guaranteed there's a bunch of bitches doing the same exact thing. Easy connection.

If you have anxiety get a shrink to get you a mild benzo and it'll just make you not overthink shit, it makes me say fuck it why not send that girl a message? no matter how dumb/boring it is, other ppl are worse and worst that can happen is I'll be treated like all the other dudes and not get a reply. boo hoo. Not saying I'm actually pulling girls,only reason I don't is because poor text game and I pussy out when actual opportunities come up, as I see myself as not worth shit except for a pretty face. But I do have girls visibly interested in me, Idk how to go about it tho, so I wait for the girls that approach me which is beta af.
Also I feel like the feeling I had of everything being fake or at a distance/like not a active participant in society was because of my eyesight, it's absolute shit and I just got contacts so life is looking really nice atm.
/vent
In the one or two jobs I've had, I was praised because the person before was a complete fucking dumbass. If you're not a dum dum, you're good. Lots of dumb ass ppl out there
Same and I have the potential right in front of my face. Use your resources and don't be afraid to ask for help.
We'll make it brahs

That attitude is why nobody likes you

Kind of the first one. There are a lot of opportunities to get better at what I'm doing and earn more money doing it, but I don't feel like taking them. It just seems pointless to even try to change things.

It's what I try to tell myself. Just can't seem to get it to latch on. It's still good advice, user, thank you.

>engineer here

Might be losing my job, so starting to apply again

Trying to get off z-drug sleeping pills and oxazapam. But I can't go to sleep without knocking myself out, it´s a fucking hell and it's ruining my life.

how come?

Got some vodka and a bottle of wine. Had a rough workout today and life in general is rough, so I'm going at it tonight

Please find another relief from life than the bottle user. Alcohol can only do so much.

I'm 26 year old college dropout(stem) and I'm now realzing I've wasted my young adulthood by not finishing the last year of college (cracking under the ptsd), a valuble time I could have been trying to acquire skills or postilions thatt would make me at least be able to live like a middle class person. But I've literally fucked up my life, I'm addicted to sleeping pills and the gym. Depression and being afraid to get out of my comfortzone has made me avoid the few friends I have/had. Right now I feel so worthless and self conscious that I can't even talk to anyone without over analyzing and spasting out.

I feel burned out, at 26...sure I'm Veeky Forums but I'm to autistic to even try to mingle with people, that ship sailed along time ago.

I hope they invent some sort of ketamine/opiate/thc cocktail that can make burnout losers like us live the rest of our life filthing and getting some sort of euphoria and happiness from those drugs.

I'll never have kids, because my sexuality is ruined, I'm not quite straight and I'm not quite gay. I like looking at beautiful women, but I get hard thinking about cuddling with men. This is because of over usage of porn.

I had potentials and now not as sharp and analytical as I used to be, depression and anxiety destroys you...

Were do I go from here? Do you even feel alife if you're just working for food and rent? Is that life? Never owning your own property, never owning a brand new mid tier car. I feel so disenfranchised from everything in life, whether it by in the job department or in social life.

that picture is almost exactly like me

I CAN'T BE DEPRESSED IF I IGNORE ALL MY PROBLEMS AND SMOKE WEED AAAAAAAAAAA

They are not giving me work at this point, feels like I'm on my way out after June. I know why though

Exercise giving up porn Veeky Forums and eating better has kept the black dog at bay.
I don't think about suicide or are plagued with maddening thoughts quite so much nowadays.

Are you me? I did shrooms a week ago after I felt my depression coming on again and I was slowly losing energy to lift, that shroom trip I spent 4hours watching birds and had this overwhelming feeling like the world cared about me and I was right back to lifting that same day

Butterface girl wants me hard. She's a nice friend, fit, gamer same disturbed sens of humor but...I want another girl.

The other girl is hard to catch, always doing something to keep her mind occupied. She's injured and broken just like me bu i cant stop thinking about her.

Fucking women men. Would be so easier if she could tell me to fuck off and stop sending me baits.

I do a heavy dose of shrooms every 3 months and i swear its the only thing that keeps me stable enough to not kill myself.

Been depressed for over two years
Tried to kill myself once and almost tried two other times

Since I switched major in college, I've been feeling pretty good
Hope to never go back into depression

Hope you guys get better
Try changing your environment a little, that helped me a lot

that was a nice read
if you have mental problems try meditation

>Pic related

wow your life is a real struggle.. fucking faggot

>I'm slowely losing it

Go to a counselor and make those mental gains. Best decision of my life

Guys I need some advice. Should I get a degree? The last 2 times I tried I had like severe anxiety like a mild breakdown in the first week and had to drop out. So I just said fuck it and did what I wanted for a while until I couldn't be NEET for another day. Now I don't know if I should try for a 3rd time after I gave myself time to chill, I'm scared I'll just get the anxiety all over again. Please tell me what I should do.

...

Kill yourself.

shit I completely forgot about Ennui, he was a complete cunt tho

Tiny was the true bro

stop watching porn and jerking off step one.

Ayy depersonalization bro. Its fucking hard some days, and I mean really fucking hard. You just gotta stay engaged in something, anything. Keep at it, we are here for you.

Its been bad.
Trying to better myself and get out of this mediocre life style. I dropped out of college because I was depressed and as of now I work in a shitty restaurant. I make decent tips, but its not enough to have a great life.

I'm trying to get a desk job in a hospital, but since I have no desk job exp, its really hard. I'm also really bad with change and I feel like even if I did get the job, I would fuck up and get fired. My family is having money problems and I need to find a way to make more money.

If I can get the job at the hospital then I could use the tuition reimbursement deal they have and go back to school once I figure out what I really want to do.

I'm getting desperate. I'm 26, still on the low end of wages and even though I keep getting better jobs with more pay, the work I do is less fulfilling. I've got a ton of cash saved up and I'm contemplating selling all my stuff, packing my car and moving to the other side of the country when my lease runs out.

I usually jerk off to JOI and role play videos. Those vids kinda give me a close connection with the women in the vids and I feel like she actually care about me.

I've been jerking off to this bitch and other women like her for the past few years.

Fucking hell I'm so lonely.

this is a great picture.
Man I swear, some people on this site have so much talent.

if you break your porn/jerking off addiction it will give you a big kick in the ass to get up and achieve those things in real life.
Seriously dude, porn is just like any other drug, it changes the reward system in your brain. It changes the brain's chemistry.
If you are serious about changing your life. Then you will take my comments to heart and get up tomorrow and take the first step.

I'm rooting for you friend. I don't know you, I never will. But we are all young men dealing with our shit trying to make this life thing work.
And hope we can figure it out.

I just finished a book call The Upward Spiral and it has really helped my depression. My fear is that I'll just fall into depression again and have to start all over

You should, shaking it up and lusting for adventure is part of being a man.
You should absolutely do that.
If you fail, so what. You took a swing.

I've been trying. Every time I do no fap I end up breaking on the 20th day or so. I'm constantly remembering scenes from all the porn I've watching other the years.

Thanks, I'm such a beta male money hoarder so it's nerve wracking. However, I must end the groundhog day I've been stuck in for the past three years.

It's not easy to rewire years of addiction. But you are on your way. Last time you made it 20 days, next time will be 30 and so on.
You got this.

You must.
It will slowly kill you if you don't.

I did LSD and it cured my suicidal self for about 11 months now. I can feel it starting to come back, but I still feel pretty good so far.

>tfw depression has backed off from an exhausted, suicidal hell-like state to just a mild numbness and lack of joy

Its been a long road brehs

the up-swing is on its way.
Wish there was a way to prevent the lows from being so low tho.
Atleast i'm more self aware now, knowing it comes to an end.

It's all about baby steps, friend

I've heard nothing but good things about st.johns wart. Edger Allen Poe oft talked about how he and his old lady would have a sip of tea made from it and how it helped them.

To be honest, I've never tried it. Mostly because I'm terrifed of having my mood altered in a way that I'm not fully aware of.

what's your secret?

My wife just miscarried. Not much else to say about it I guess

I have died already, I only knows highs from that time on

>feelsupwardbrah

i remember once feeling especially down and then just going on a walk one night. i walked for more than two hours and i used that time to be a little introspective and really ask myself: why do you feel sad? are these issues worth getting worked over? am i blowing this out of proportion? how can these be resolved?
things like that. really helped me out. i also have friends and people in my life who i know will accept me at my low points if i ever reach out to them.
iunno, i think that realizing how no matter how things are going or what ive done, time will keep going forward and people's lives will go on regardless. it puts things in perspective i guess

My depression doubles down while lifting. It's fucked more than a few workouts. Thinking a lot of just giving up and ending it. I have too much to finish first though.

I'm sorry.

archive.org/details/WhatTheBleepDoWeKnow_201601

>why do you feel sad? are these issues worth getting worked over? am i blowing this out of proportion? how can these be resolved?

This is important to remember. You don't have to take the shape of your emotions. You're just feeling them. All thoughts come and go but what I've found is that you don't actually have to dwell on them.

Usually my mind is just constantly throwing self-criticisms at me. For example, I'll see an attractive woman and I'll go straight to thinking about how I will never be good enough. However, I've trained myself to end the though there rather than dwell on it for five or ten minutes as I used to, as it won't help me get benefit me to be down on myself.

i'm on a down swing right now.
I need a job, too much time on my hands.
Broke my 2 week no fap no porn streak by spending almost a full day diving head first into all my old habits.
I just want some balance in my life. A year or two of balance, making decent money, no mental episodes.
Just some peace and some balance.

Does reading actually help?
I have really bad A.D.D and have only finished 1 book in my entire life. But perhaps I could teach myself to read a chapter a day.

>The only women for me are gains.
This is what I tell myself.

>tfw you missed out on teenage love/sex

Too late, m8. Well past drunk and it's not even midnight yet

>tfw 20s 30s love sex is so so soooooo much better.

reading about stoicism actually helped me quite a bit. that I'm the one in control of my emotions and i can decide how to react to them really gave me power when i felt powerless.

>Hows the depression going, user?

I don't have any.

I'll have to look into stoicism, I come at it after listening to guided meditations. Thanks for the tip off user.

>tfw had teenage love/sex, it wasnt anything special, and began to question what other lies about life everybody propagated

Injured my back and can't do any physical activity. Getting fat af again and losing motivation to get up every morning

so you're just gonna be a sad cunt bro?

FUCK THAT SHIT BRO

you can be a sick cunt if you wanna be

>feel like I missed out on the college experience because I was a straight A student who never socialized with anyone
>too afraid to talk to girls back then, always bitter about attractive frat guys seemingly picking up girls, it becomes a weird sticking point for me that I never had any kind of college sex life
>I became a lot more social after graduating end up coming back to town and hanging out with my brother and his friends, one signs us into a frat party
>the music is shit and the DJ is worse
>off the dance floor it's fucking pathetic, all the frat chads are being all needy with the girls, and all the women are spergs who can't socialize
>realize I missed absolutely nothing
>sleep better that night than I've slept in years

I was doing very well, I'm free of porn, I finally got a gf, been lifting for more than a year, was feeling almost complete (just lacking a job).

Then we decided to break up because of distance. We might get back because I'll go to live in ther city probably in december, but the time away from each other was being kinda rough.

Now I'm fucked, I'm having lots of ups and downs during the day every day. I feel euphoric because I'll go to her city and that means I'll live away from my shitty family, then the breakup hits me out of nowhere and I feel like shit again.

Also my bulking isn't going well and the workouts started to "suck", but I never skips anyway. I'll finish the courses I'm doing and see what happens december.

I appreciate the kind words, I'll try. It's crazy hard to cut down without being able to run or swim or anything