The gym mechanic forgot to change the oil on the elliptical trainer again

>The gym mechanic forgot to change the oil on the elliptical trainer again

>go to use recumbent bike
>there's 190000 miles on the clock
Why are gym managers so bad at upgrading their gym gear?

>gym starbucks discontinued unicorn frappe

>the gym senate votes me for mechanic duty, again
this is the 3rd month in a row lads

Wanna swap? I got manlet branding again and I'm sick of trying to rangle those short fuckers. I'm 6'6" it's a goddamn challenge!

Went to the gym yesterday and someone left all the dumbells next to the Manlet pit,
Nearly fell in

>plates have over 10,000 reps on them
>owner refuses to change them

>2015+2
>going to a gym that allows manlets

>doing cardio
Pathetic

Lets assume that everybody does 5x5 type of workout and takes an hour to complete it. Eight different people use the plates each day. That's (5x5)8=200 reps per day. And those numbers are very very conservative. In real life they get much more reps during the day than that.

So you are saying that the owner needs to replace those plates every 50 days? I don't know where you live but at my gym we have really old equipment and it does the job well even if they are not pretty. You should maybe rethink your approach to fitness.

>nobody does plate rounding duty and all the 45's have grown completely octagonal

Pretty good, user. Thanks.

>unironically being this new

They get lighter all the time because of plate decay. That's why you see so many plates for sale on craigslist.

>used my last 4 tokens in the leg press and it ran out of tickets midway through dispensing them
>don't have enough tickets to exchange for the Bee Movie plushy

>suspension system on the treadmill is shot to shit

Gonna sue when I get shin splints

Oh, I didn't know that. Thanks for the tip mate. I was thinking of putting together a home gym but I will not be able to keep replacing plates. Guess I'll keep using commercial gyms in that case.

>PT makes me write an essay on proper deadlift form
>i am 38 years old

KEK

You have a Starbucks? My gym's only got Cliff bars.

>they replaced the Olympic bench with a special Olympic bench
It's all pink now, lads

>manager forgot to feed the cardio bunnies

>gym mcdonalds discontinued grand mac

>gym band won't play any of your requests

>gym buffet replaced bacon with Canadian bacon

>the gym mercenary broke the plane crashing machine again

>the manlet pit keeps filling with water when it rains
>three have drowned in the last week

>implying this is a bad thing

>taking a shit in the manlet pit
>realize the gym gypsies stole the poop scissors
>don't feel like playing dice to get them back

Any experienced lifters know some good ways to trick the gym gypsies?

>the sauna dragon thinks it was you that stole his treasure and won't leave you alone

>forgot to pay this months manlet damage insurance premium

>Gym senate too busy taking shirtless selfies in the mirror to appoint a gym janitor
>Dead landwhales on every single cardio machine, gym smells like old big macs
>Nobody is strong enough to move them, no janitor to shoo off the rampant gainz goblin infestation
>Manlets are escaping the manlet pit, chucking around plates and shitting all over the gym showers
>This is the only gym in my town

Riddles from the Natty Druid work well. He's usually by the squat rack. That or just sprinkle some whey near them and the gainz goblins will come out to scoop it up. Gypsies hate goblins, so while they're distracted you should be able to grab the scissors

>incline bench press
>does it anyway

>gym rapper is selling his mixtape again
>you try to make a deal with him where you sell it while he get some of the profit
>he declines

>cardio bunnies escaped from their enclosure last week
>baby chadlets everywhere

>The gym Mayor is talking about bringing in a protein tax on people who can lift 1/2/3/4

Honestly such bullshit. If weak people worked harder they'd be just as strong.

I'd campaign against him next election but he'd destroy me in the pullup primaries.

these images get more creative each time I see them

What kind of a ghetto shithole do you lift at brah

>the front desk didn't have any squat shoes that fit me so i'm not allowed to squat today

Contact your gains council if you're serious and not exaggerating what the fuck.

The goblin infestation is enough to warrant a shut down.

>gym hiked the cost on barbell rental for the second time this year and it's barely even May

>gym gardener keeps neglecting to trim the weight trees

>gym dog keeps licking my buttcrack

>didn't bring cash to tip the receptionist
>see her say something to gymfu and look at me
>qt gymfu refuses to talk to me anymore
>see gymfu talking to her cardiobunny friends the next day
>they all give me shitty looks

Fucking receptionist poisoned my watering hole over $3

Will they ever learn?

did you still tip ?

don't all gentlemen?

>gym priest won't give absolution
i don't even know what the big deal is. I even said "no homo" before fred blew me

>hell yeah, arm day has arrived
>head over to the dumbbells
>put in two quarters and take out some 30s to warm up on
>pump out a set
>go to get some water because I forgot my bottle
>some j-hole has re-racked my weights and absconded with the quarters I put in
>check my gym shorts for more quarters
>don't have any on me
>have to go back out to my car because I don't bring my wallet inside
>as I'm heading back inside they try to charge me the cover fee again
>just go home and get no gains

>gym's mower broke down two weeks ago
>atg squats are now really quartersquats

>got a ticket because I was doing good mornings at 10pm

>only need 50 more workout tickets to afford the pencil topper

>the gym forgot to rotate the plates
>have to worry about uneven squats

>the manlet militia started another uprising in squatraq resulting in a no flyes zone
>Flight got cancelled and now I'm stuck at LAF
Jesus will someone just teach them already?

>forgot to download workout before coming
>have to stream it in low resolution
>shitty gym wifi disconnects mid deadlift

None of these tryhard memes are even half as good as the original /tv/ ones sorry anons

Autism: The Post

>Gym clown sprayed seltzer water in my face today during a PR attempt
>dropped 225 lbs right on my chest because of that literal bozo
>tried to yell at him but he just kept honking his nose when i tried to talk

I'm fucking dying

>PT makes me do a presentation in front of the whole gym about why its dangerous to curl in the squat rack

>gym musician forgot to harmonize the dumbbells

>gym oracle says I'm never gonna make it

bump i need more hot memes

>gym goyim forgot to load my plates properly

>gym jew shaved down the edges of gym's plates
>1plate is only 44.6kg now

>squat plug dispenser gave me a pink & glitter one
Ehh fuck it, just get it in

>Gym jester left prank barbell with the rest
>Shocked me mid OHP, dropped on head
Was considering suing but it was in the contract

>Smith machine fusion reactor overheated again

>Gym Writers strike in third week; no-one has any new programming

>treadmill flux capacitor went into overdrive
1988 here I come

>Someone stole all the skateboards

>gym still allowing manlets
>swolalition struggling to disarm weights from them when they use
>manager refuses to fill manlet pit with concrete

Fuck ethics. Just cleanse this shit

>one of the gym chickens laid double yolk eggs again.
Double the gains AH HA HA.

>gym quest giver called in sick today
Wtf m8. How am I supposed to get my exp if I can't complete quests by doing reps?

>Vlad the Gympaler is hogging all the barbells to intimidate his gym nemesis again

Very good thread deserves BUMP

Gym ran out of hard hats so the council has put a ban on skull crushers

>the gym owner forgot to inflate the pneumatic barbells again

>gym preacher doesn't use a King James Bible

Underrated

>gravitational vortex stabilizer on the fritz again
>pull up's train triceps
>dips train lats
>manlets keep getting out of the pit and chewing on the cardio bunny's ankles

This is really fucking with my work outs but council says repairman won't be in for another week

Underrated desu.

>gym clown REFUSES to inflate my plates

>tfw my gym offers bachelor degree programs in natty lifting

That'd be a pretty cool app actually

>someone put petrol in the water fountain again
>aboriginals set up camp in the gym

no, no it wouldn't.

>owner didn't spay the 45s
>hundreds of 0.5lb plates are all over the gym

is this reddit or something? your not funny, you are repeating the same shit over and over again, might as well create another GENERAL because you are lame as fuck

kys

>gym owner didnt satisfy the gym goblin's anus
>posts on the gym forum with grumpy posts
fuck you

Aww, cute! Take a few home, they're really friendly and you could have your own home gym for free if you feed them right.

>have to pull 24 hour desk duty for the SECOND time this month
>no comp time

>did deadlifts today
>died
>had to wait for someone to come do preacher curls to resurrect me

Depends on the material. After a few months a 45lb iron plate will weigh less then a 45lb rutherfordium plate

can i save dis thread?

somehow you faggots manage to be worse than /tv/ Jesus christ

>Got a ticket because I forgot my squatting license at home

>gym enforces a speed limit on squats
>have to pay additional on membership to pay fine

>gym mathematicians fuck up an equation
>weight changes to -170
>muscles and skin inverted into negative