Hey guys, please don't go too hard on me, I'm new here. Here is the situation: I'm 19, I'm not fat but neither am I buffed. In 2 months I'm going to the south of Europe where I'll most likely be forced to take my shirt off due to swimming and heat. Attached is a picture of my current physique. I have 2 months to break myself and get a buffed-ish body. I am mainly (read: Only) targeting my upper body (Biceps, Shoulders, and Stomach).
Give me a 2-month hell workout plan to follow to get buffed, also tips on what to avoid eating would be nice, the internet gives very contradicting advice. WARNING: I can't go to the gym because of low self-esteem, working out at home is the only option. I also do not have any weights.
This is my back, the weird blob on my shoulders is my scapula that is a bit too extended due to weird positioning and angle.
Jason Green
>2 months >no weights >refuses to go to the gym do the reddit /r/bodyweight routine and eat a huge amount of food
Connor Collins
Get the "100% army fit" app. Do that stuff. Or do the reddit bodyweight routine. But STICC to a program. Consistency is key (and overload but youll get that with the app and if you read the reddit)
Aaron Cruz
Start roiding boyo
Elijah Thompson
>Give me a 2-month hell workout plan to follow to get buffed, Getting a good body is more about doing repetitive shit for a long time
Nathaniel Gonzalez
I'd fuck you real good
Camden Cooper
Got the app and will try it out I know that it's about repetitive tasks but I need to know what kind of tasks... I know doing pushups and sit-ups are basic ways that work out very well, but what number should I aim for every day?
Andrew Watson
Read the sticky you dumb motherfucker.
Landon Ross
ur perfect twinkmode atm, don't do anything else post boipussy
Kayden Nelson
1. 2 months...are you fucking serious...that's fuck all time to change your body.
2. Not going to gym because of self esteem...are you memeing me? Barbell training is by far the quickest and easiest way to induce change in your body. Do you want this or not?
3. Jesus christ I need to reiterate how retarded you're being.
4. You'd better have a pullup bar motherfucker. Like the other user said go do the /r/bodyweight routine.
Connor Green
You'll never get in shape if you don't even have the willpower to step into a gym. That is just a fact.
Leo Lopez
The App will tell you. I guess around 80% of your max reps for 3 or so sets.
James Sanders
Buy a weight gainer and hit the gym
Monday : shoulder
Wednesday : chest
Friday : chest
Tuesday and thurdays : bicep or tricep
You do that and with a weight gainer, you can gain 10 lbs of muscle mass
Noah White
Why is Veeky Forums full of literal faggots
Andrew Diaz
True I think I am enabling him for not calling him out
Joseph Scott
You are starting one year too late. And you're not even using weights. There is no chance you will succeed.
Julian Long
With such a trash reason there's no way you'll put out for two months anyway. Just stay twink and be mired by men who want your boipusc
Landon Bennett
SS + GOMAD
Nolan Jenkins
>test so low he couldn't even fuck another man. Looks like someone's not gonna make it.
Luis Evans
>I'm new here >2 months to get buffed >only upper body >no gym please tell me this is bait
Lucas Gomez
Did even more research... What do you guys think of 200 pushups a day for 2 months straight? youtube.com/watch?v=7UQwUe4l6II this guy did it for 30 and it looks like it worked out?
Lucas Hughes
Holy fuck, this actually managed to make me genuinly mad. This hits so many triggers. >Not reading the sticky >Wanting to get buff for the beach >Thinking you can get noticable results in 2 months >Thinking that harder=better >Not wanting to go to the gym >Only doing upper body >Unironically using the word ''buff''
Congrats, you have managed to make me legitimately angry. If this is b8, then this is fucking expertly crafted.
Nathaniel Torres
You're sweet. I'm gonna nake sure you kiss me good with those big lips.
Dylan Harris
Contrary to popular belief you don't need any weights to build a perfect physique, there are entire workout programs out there that are bodyweight only, some even zero-equipment (which would be perfect if you wanna work out at home)
2 months is very short though. It's not realistic to build serious muscle in that time, all you'll be able to do is be a little more defined.
Gavin Campbell
What? We have these threads daily >hurr guys I'm 200 lb 5'8 40%bf how do I get to look like Zyzz in 3 weeks with one 5lb dumbell, btw I have no food or money
Landon Harris
Your post is really insulting to most of Veeky Forums, I dont even know why some cucks are still giving you advice
Jace Brown
Stop being a bitch
Michael Peterson
>>>/reddit/ go back to your safe space you offended bitch
Joshua Kelly
The most important thing is to eat your lean mass grams in protein every single day. Don't feel like lurking to figure out your weight and BF% but if you don't do that then you're just gonna play yourself. So eat like 130g of protein everyday. Chicken thighs is my go to protein source because it doesn't dry out and you can just shake on some seasoning mix and boom, sorted.
Logan Cook
Oh, also track your fucking macros. Don't eyeball it like a stupid faggot. Buy a food scale on amazon for like 15 bucks or more. I recommend cronometer.com since its minimal and quick to set up.
Thomas Hall
what the FUCK are you on about, you do what you can, going to beach or whateverthefuck doesnt fucking matter at all
what does matter is that you get your ass to the gym, get on real program and then workout for rest of your life while improving your eating habits
rest of the things in your life are worthless and thats a fact
Lincoln Jones
go to the gym, nerd, nobody cares
everybody thinks everybody cares immensely about them when they go in the beginning
then you realize that everyone else is just there to work out too and don't give a shit
Luke Sanchez
he literally just changed the lighting. only doing pushups will barely get you anywhere
David Cook
My only objection is >thinking you can't get noticeable results in 2 months.
With proper dieting and exercising you can gain 4 pounds of muscle a month as a beginner. Assuming he doesn't mind getting a bit chub with his gainz then he should be noticeably more fit in two times, not insanely fit or anything, but in noticeably better shape.
Jose Cook
I'd love to see people's reactions when you have maybe baby biceps and shitty Lil twig legs like that looks good
Colton Murphy
Why are we even responding? Why should we give a single flying shit about OP and his neuroses?
He only wants to work out because he's insecure, he wants the quickest possible solution, and he doesn't actually want to work hard for it.
Tyler Cook
>those traps >those clavicles >those pecs Z-Zyzz, is that you?
Elijah Cooper
Fugging put some sand in some milk gallons and curl that till you cant
Grayson Price
OP, you have potential, but you need to quit being a bitch.
If you have no weights, you're gonna need to do bodyweight exercises obviously. Do LOTS of pushups and pullups for your upper body. Do planks for your abs. Do squats because I fucking said so. These will help your abs a little bit in addition to working your legs and glutes. Here's your routine:
Day 1: Pushups 5xF / Pullups 5xF Day 2: Squats 5xF / Planks 5xF
The 5 is the number of sets, and the "F" stands for failure, meaning you're going to do the exercise until you're so exhausted that you can't do any more reps. If you can't do any pullups, don't worry. Just do dead hangs for as long as you can and keep trying until you can get a pullup. Given two months, you should be able to work your way up to 2-3 pullups per set even if you're starting from rock bottom. Don't skip any days, and repeat till you're ready to leave for vacation. Also, eat a lot of food and focus on getting as much protein as possible.
