Walk into gym this morning

>sign up at new gym
>didn't read the penis inspection clause
>didn't clean my foreskin first day at gym
>everyone is laughing at my smegma dick

>walk in gym
>dead manlet in the squat rack

kek

>walk into jim
>apologise and enter gym

>tfw I'm the gains goblin for the gym's yearly mid spring festival
>have to stand at the entrance of the gym for 25 hours
>everyone going inside has to throw a dusting of protein powder at my face and say "shoo shoo gains goblin!"
>I know, it seems pretty counterproductive
>no one even knows where the tradition came from
>it's an important part of our gym culture so I just bear with it

The costume looks pretty ridiculous too.

>walk into gym
>listen to gym music and don't lift

holy shit now is this a rare pepe

>tfw nobody knows I lied about my penis size on my gym I.D.

No it isn't. Just recently came out as media declared pepe dead. Its all over /pol/

>walk into gym this afternoon
>sniff shoulder press machine seat
>leave

I'm gonna make it lads

>walk into gym
>listen to music and browse the 'ch0n

is it an original pepe? it looks printed

>Walk into gym
>Apologise and enter Jim

>gym beekeeper went to snap city
>got stung during PR deadlift
Pray for him, lads.

>manlet cutoff was raised due to increase in average height
>got tossed into the manlet pit

Sure is dark in here but at least they worship me as their king.

>enter gym
>take a shower
>do some cardio around the car park
>do some push ups in the squat rack
>leave

>enter the gym
>walk over the the spine extender
>try to start my set
>machine is out of bone marrow
>manlets somehow escaped the pit and used it all up overnight AGAIN

>walk in to gym
>nothing out of the ordinary
>do my workout and leave

>walk into the gym
>tip the receptionist
>She rips off her face
>it's actually the gym jester
>he follows me around for my entire session singing horribly about my generosity
>get an official write up
>final warning

Fuckin hell, I swear he's got it out for me. He knows the only person allowed to be tipped is the receptionist.

Oh my god

>walk into gym
>see cute girl using the squat machine
>say "hey, are you working out?"
>she runs and gets security
>im now banned from the gym

>enter gym
>no girls
>leave gym
>walk into mcdonalds

kek

Yes, its by Matt Furie.

I have one of his handdrawn + signed pepes myself actually

>gym archeologist examines my bone
>apparently it's not large

>doing deadlifts
>random asks if I'm a pallbearer
>say no
>fined by council for imitation

Council says I have to work maintenance and clean manlet pit for impersonating a VIP for 3 weeks... This is the second time

>go to gym for chest day
>forget rules and decide to do weighted dips
>staff forces me to wear a fedora for the rest of the month

>>it's actually the gym jester
Kill jester

>gym bro poked manlets with barbell
>one grabbed on and got out
>manlet used dip assist to rocket over the wall to free weights
>sniped my deadlift and did squats
>I got fined 20 gym coins now I can't afford to work out until Monday

How the fuck can I make it in this gym? It's the only one in town

>at gym doing squats
>get thirsty so call to BARbell tender
>what will it be?
>just water
>mfw they shipped water from Detroit now I'm lifting two types of iron

>walk into gym
>sign says the gym rapist got loose overnight and is hiding somewhere in the facility
>tfw it's good morning day

>gym alpha got slipped estrogen
>he's all emotional now
>keep making us watch the notebook
>if you refuse you lose your gym tokens

What do I do I like this gym and I almost have enough tokens for the George Foreman grease catcher

>Accidentally lock my knees
>Left the keys at home

Accidentally lock out gym supervisor ask me if I also tagged out

>squatting
>hear howles and growling
>mfw I realize the wolves haven't been fed all week

Underrated

>no cardio bunnies in sight
>last seen doing abductions
What do I stare at now?

>See qt cardio bunny at the gym
>Go to hit on her
>"H-hey do you workout here?"
>A hawk snatches her

Eh, not humorous enough for the effort.

If everyone thought like that you would be nothing more than a stain in your dad's sock

Nice

U mad?

>the rent right, get left free discount on shower flipflops ended.

>get to the gym
>core day
>no one waxed the floor
>sliding all over the place planking

>going to gym
>PPL
>push day
>doors says pull
>waiting for guy with pull day
>in gym at last
>surprise height inspection
>tfw 5'10''
>in manlet pit again
>will never make it

>walk into gym
>sit at bench and wait for waiter
>waiter never comes to take my order
>leave in a huff

I just got the best mental image. Picture a roller derby type track, and the contestants are all dudes. They get down into a planking position and put their feet up on the starting blocks. The gunshot sounds and they push of using only their calf muscles. They steer around the turns by lifting one leg up or shifting their weight, but the entire time, they stay in the planking position.

I-i dont believe you

kek

>Father John forgot to bless the possessed squat rack again

underrated

>walk into gym
>apparently the manlet king escaped the pit with some of his cohorts during the night
>have holed themselves up inside the farthest quadrant of lockers in the changing room
>apparently they're citing independence and have chartered their own manlet-nation, they're calling it "Squatland"
>have been launching infrequent raids on the plate dispenser since 6am
The receptionist is offering me 4 free uses at the plate dispenser to root them out, s-should I do it lads? She says the manlet king has a nasty bite...

Solid kekle from me

>doing squats
>squat plug falls out
>tfw snatched up in a heartbeat by one of the gym dingoes
>as he runs off with his prize, gym dingo loses its footing on a creatine patch on the floor and goes careening into the manlet pit
>A hawk dives in after him
Fuck me bros, this is the third one this week

>TFW the gorons keep taking bites out of the 45lb plates and now you can't max out with your new power bracelet

underrated

It's my membership. It's my gains. Kill 'a'.

>Walk into gym
>Sexual healing starts playing
>Qt girl not far from me
>Heh.. hehe.. I usually don't get this far on my first date
>She tells the gym staff and I get banned

yes, but make sure to bring a yardstick with you to ward them off

fuggin kek

Fuck me guys, the receptionist just told me that if I violate the gym's no single lifters policy one more time, I get sent to the popcorn mines. Anyone have a spare falcon I can take with me tomorrow?

classic meme

>not 2 yard sticks

You had one FUCKING job

kek

>Go to gym
>The gains goblin comes by and smacks my creatine out of my hands
>Manage to sneak past receptionist and get to squat rack
>Start squatting
>Squat plug bursts out
>Chad steals my squat plug
>5'6" so he sends me off to the manlet pit
>Fellow manlets stack up barbells to climb out of the manlet pit
>Escape
>Go back home
>Find out I've been charged, 15 gymcoins for leaving the manlet pit

Is that the supposed death of Pepe the frog created by his creator?

Ayyyyyy

>Walk into gym
>Gym wifi down
>Mom still refusing to upgrade my phonedata
>Cant browse Veeky Forums between sets
>Spend time memorizing posts to make when I get home
>Accidentally say "I bet you niggers dont even sip" out loud
>2 guys next to me stares at me
>Have to pretend it´s a rapsong and keep singing
>Mumble about muh bitches get money niggah fuck da police between sets
>They stare even more
>Go home without even deadlifting
>Yell at mom