You... "maxed out?"

>You... "maxed out?"

>You havent had ANY sexual releases this month?

So this Mr rippetoe told you to drink a gallon of milk a day?

>You were doing WHAT with a skateboard?

>you've grown a half inch this year!

DELET PLS

I kek'd

>So the reason why you...consume your own semen...is to "maximize gains"?

>3... plate... diddly?

>it says you're not sexually active, is this a mistake? you're 29 now

>You follow the advice of a "Japanese anime image board"?

>why do you want to grow more? your height is fine, "tee eff dubyoo king of manlets" isnt a valid reason for Growth Hormone

>"You put "whey" under drinking?"
Tfw I did this oregano

...

dr: your hdl is 0
me: good

>mark ripped a toe? Well bring him in!

>you count the bar?

kek

fuck i love these threads

>so you've been following a gym routine you found on a cartoon website on the internet? And you're what now... 'Bulking'?

>so you only take...how many scoops?

>How many sips a day are you taking? We may need to double it.

fuck off new fag

>"you bought and sold all your BTC on the same day???"

>mfw

>So its those "fitizens" as you're calling them, who are believing in you and telling you that you're going to make it?

Not going to make it.

>the results are in, it seems you have an unhealthy obsession with a gay cartoon dog

>under allergies you listed... cardio?

>you cosume this yogurt...from the greeks for maximum protein gains...?

killingthejoke.pdf

kekk

>thou hast NEVER intimately known a woman?

DELET THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

>tfw got testicular cancer at 23 and had to go through this conversation with about a dozen different doctors/nurses
I bet they laughed about the size of my dick during the operation too

heh

>So, thou believeth thou becometh a wizard if 't be true thou hast thy maidenhead for how long? Thirty years?!

>A cartoon dog told you to do WHAT with a skateboard?

(It's been posted before but still tickles my funny bone)

My fucking sides

actual conversation with a doctor
>you lift weights HOW MANY days a week? this is too much, do cardio
>you consumer HOW MUCH protein a day? this is too much
>you intentionally eat more calories than you burn? this is not healthy
>you dont take the exercise "juice" right?
tfw pajeet doctor accused me of roiding

>You're... cutting?

kek underrated

>be 16
>skelleton to ottermode by training for a year with extremely slow gains
>both house doctor and dermatologist ask me if I am roiding

>6 years ago
I should add, no bannu pls

>Eat big to get big?

Aw geez I'm sorry user :(

At least you can still do oral and stuff

>i caused that feel

>That first sip of the day? You should be drinking more water than just a sip!

what?

did you lose both?

kek

HAHAHAHA

>I don't think that's a real exercise...

sayeth the sire whom'st hath never known a fair maiden himself

mirin 4arms tbqh

WHAT DO YOU MEAN TWO SCOOPS?

>Calories in calories out? But why do you eat 3 chicken breasts, whey, and hamburger meat for every meal? Your cholesterol is through the roof!

Back off doc. I want those wizard powers

>man-let? this is a newborn, user, he will learn when he starts primary school. Would you like to hold him?

Holy shit come up with something original.

Lurk moar

>tell me more about this "Snap City," user

>this month

Kys.iso

"Sir there's no abnormalities with your jaw, mirin jaw isn't a medical diagnosis"

>You... lift heavy weights... to be strong enough to protect your imaginary cartoon girlfriend's smile?
>You're gonna make it son.

And I forget my pic like a retard.

>you eat how many eggs?
>in one day?

>oh no, you're taking creatine??
>user you know what you're telling me is illegal right?

>When you lift something heavy, you should never pull with your back, you know that, right?

>Lunges... before bregfasd?

I don't know why, but this made me laugh harder than anything in this thread

>so you force grown-ups below the height of 6' fight in that 'pit' of yours?

Sir for the last time my name is Dr Khan, not Dr Pajeet!

...

That's COACH Rippetoe Mr Dr.

>GOMAD? DON'T MIND IF I DO! HEEHEE! AHOOHOOHUUUEEEEGHHHH

god damn it

>You're concerned that your "pump" doesn't feel like an orgasm?
>Your friend Arnold told you this?

You're worried about your diddlys? Well, this is more of just a standard physical, but I can schedule a prostate exam for you soon if you're worried about it.

>What exactly is in this "pre workout"

Coke and creatine

Top kek

Underrated

>Sir could you explain again what "activated" almonds are?

>You're "fucking a zeebra"? Sir bestiality is illegal, I'll have to report you to the police.

> Yes of course pre-workouts are healthy. I myself like to do a gentle warmup on the exercise bike.
> Huh?
> What do you mean "it contains nitroglycerine"?

Kek

TOP KEK

sides oblideraded

> And these "friends" who you get your "fitness" advice from... are ALL of them "anonymous"?
> I see... so you are taking their advice, but they could be absolutely anyone
> I see, and you trust these people more than me, a registered doctor, when I am telling you that eating 3 eggs a day will significantly increase your cholesterol - sending you to an early grave?
> No sir I am not a "normie" I am a registered Physic-
> SIR PUT THAT OMELETTE DOWN

fuck off newfag

>FOUR SAKUPARU?
>N-NANI?!

Not funny

YOU MADE YOUR MUSCLES FAIL ON PURPOSE??!?!

Heres a whole bunch

> You do "skullcrushers"?
> You do know that the skull is an important part of your body?
> It protects your br....
> ... Nevermind

> Sir, I understand you "want to get big"
> But this "Ice cream 5x5" diet with "lots of scoops" you keep telling me about sounds extremely fattening

...

aw yiss this thread is quality

> Why do you keep saying "5x5"? Do you need me to get you a calculator or can I just tell you its 25?
> ....
> Skullcrushers? Without your bicycle helmet?! This explains everything....
> We are going to have to get your head X-rayed ASAP.
> And please tell me you have been using your squat plug?
> Lifting protected is dangerous; I shouldn't have to tell you that.