/Friday Night Feels/

Fuck, user, I just FUCKING WISH I could have gotten this advice earlier. The truth is that this fucking Brit was the first girl dated after a 4 year long relationship... so yeah, I was totally vulnerable and I acted like a total beta.

Still, as you say, I learned one of the most valuable lessons.
Thanks for that beautiful song brah.

My scithica and bulged disc became reinjured after 11 months of healing. I'm considering just starving myself.

Dude I really wish Jesus was real.
I just can't escape knowing that I would be fooling myself in saying that he believed.

Do a better martial art

Fuck you

Jesus wasn't there when I was crying out to him for help when my dad was molesting me

You're probably coming across as a try hard

>turned down a job that payed 30k more a year this week
>didn't want to sell my house and move for it
>not poor, but not rich at 80k now, feel like shit for turning it down

I think I made the wrong call buds.

Lmao what were you expecting, a fairy god mother to swoop down and carry you to safety?

2 more hours of work and an hour drive home.

Feeling bittersweet. I finally deleted all my online dating profiles. No more chances currently, but no more distractions.

I can restart from scratch, after Im done cutting and rebuilding my body from scratch.

Holy shit dude, that's absolutely horrible this happened to you. All I can say is I hope your dad get what he deserved.
I hope you're doing well user, please try to move on if you haven't already.

Fuck man, really puts shit into perspective
Hope you recovered fom it

My gf is coming over to play some bideo games and I made some tritip and mashed potatoes

Well.

Just found out my oneitis fucked one of my friends from work. I sincerely hope I have cancer. I really hope I do. (There is a chance I got)

Why not hope that they get cancer?

PR weeks is at its end, lads.

>315 Squat
>235 Bench
>370 Deadlift

240-ish bodyweight and still cutting. Took a week off of my diet because of heavy lifting like i usually do, but still felt bad about eating so much

relaxing with some nice beers otherwise and hopping back on the cut train this weekend

As a fellow /Christfag/, I love you brah.

But this isnt the place for it, and youre probably just turning people further away

Tried to kill myself, got hospitalized instead.

80k / year?
Youre fine, bro. The happiness plateu is ~$75k, so it probably wouldnt have made you much happier.

What field you in?

Been trying to get contracted as an USAF CCT. Last time I took the physical requirements test I failed the run by about 10 seconds.

This time I clocked in at around 9:40 for 1.5 miles. Crushed the swim and calisthenics portions. I got my contract. Not bad for a 32 year old.

I don't try any more or less hard than anyone else

I'm just fucking weird or something in a way that I can't tell

This. Save 30k and put it in a mutual index fund

>Youre fine, bro. The happiness plateu is ~$75k, so it probably wouldnt have made you much happier.

I know, I would have hated the traffic of the big city but I feel like such a fucking failure for not taking the pain to earn more money.

IT; networking specifically.

How do I cope with the fact that I'm probably going to die alone

I'm almost 22 and I can't stop feeling like a total fucking loser. Im way too fucking introverted I feel like a fundamentally broken human being

I'm starting to unravel I'm starting to cry myself to sleep evey night

I just want the pain to stop

Suicide seems more viable every single day

Certs/experience?

How did you get up to 80K?

go lift those weights boy

acquire gains disregard females

godspeed user

This year is pretty bad so far but i'll manage just like every year. I just wish i have people to share and chill every once in a while.
Most of them have become successful or went deep into the darkness where it is unreachable for me. Mongolian tapestry imaegboard is te only place where i could just let everything out once in a while.

>trying this hard

I had a CCNP but it really doesn't matter since I've got 10 years+ experience. You need to change jobs a bit to keep moving up in salary since most employers wont' give you good raises. Like me now, I could be earning 110k+ in a job that would be less work simply because that's how changing jobs works in this field.

been on Veeky Forums since 2005. This is the saddest pic I have ever seen here.

I was diagnosed when I was 13,
>tfw constantly thirsty
>tfw constantly exhausted
>tfw wasting away
It'll take a few months but you'll be back to full function once you get used to the insulin
Stay strong my dude you're gonna make it

Try hookers before suicide.

Helps me a shitton during dry spells

What do you think about people who move around jobs ever year to find a better gig

Let's say

1 year security engineer at a cybersecurity company
6 months experience on a network design engineer team
1 year cybersecurity analyst
Etc...

23 here but dont give up user. Seriously man siht been bad for me as well and i try my best to overcome it. We human are all fundamentally broken . Piece yourself up bit by bit. You cant change overnight. Took me YEARS user just to stop hating myself but a bit of my destructive nature still remain.

Slowly and surely we get better. We human are strong so never give up.

>tfw got sectioned after I hanged myself
Just be glad its only a hospital and not an institution, having people watch you shit, shower and sleep is a real strain on the psyche

>What do you think about people who move around jobs ever year to find a better gig

I don't mind, as long as they can do the role. Ideally we like people who will stick around but if you have a good job and pay well they'll stick around. I would try to get some 2-3 years stints in at some places but especially if you're new to the field that isn't going to hurt you, and for the 6 month thing I'd just lie and say it was a contact job.

Took my self out for lunch today had steak, sushi and a beer. Probably gonna hit up the free way on my motorcycle later tonight. At least I'm not at home.

really tired from workout last night, sleep pattern is fucked and my new job doesn't start until next week due to construction delay.

a quiet friday night to relax and sleep is exactly what I want

got a comfy playlist on too

Real Estate x Days
Andy Shauf x The Party
any suggestions ?

We could make a suicide pact via Skype lmao. I fucking hate my life too. I live with my girlfriend but no one can understand how fucking sad I am. I think it's my fault, I'm 21 and still at community college, work 35 hours at a job I fucking hate... I wish I did good in high school instead of planning on enlisting since I was 12. Now I'm stuck in a life that I wish would end every day. I've been like this since I was 14 years old and ultimately decided that it is illogical to live this life if I will not be happy. Staying around so others don't cry when you die, that shit is selfish of them. Someone prove me wrong. I'm fully convinced and have been for years that when I die I'll be at peace and no longer have to live the disappointment I call life.

I can't stop bros. I ate clean for four fucking years and then pigged out one day. Then it was two days, then three, and it's been about a month now. I've regained 10lbs. I haven't given up; I keep going back to cutting but I last like four days every time and then I eat one small thing and it leads to binge eating upwards of 10000 calories.

I know only I can stop myself, but I don't know why it's so hard all the sudden.

just let it come naturally user.
I'm always a fucking weird to people to start, but that's because I listen rather than engage then slowly become friendly. try just relaxing then integrating yourself slowly

Six months

It actually is a six months thing. I have certs up the ass and am switching to hired employee soon. I'm waiting for the offer letter however I've been told they might try to drop my pay below 85K since I'll be hired on and I can't accept that at all. I might leave network engineering and go back to being an analyst or engineer at cybersecurity comoany

Yes I was 7 and I cried every night I convinced myself that God must fucking HATE me to ignore me like that while I was begging and pleading for help

I didn't understand why I had to suffer so much why I had to deal with so much pain. I convinced myself I deserved it that I was useless

Thankfully I've been watching a lot of Jordan Peterson trying to slay this dragon

>What goal will justify the suffering of your life

youtu.be/BBR5v89L6gk

clean your room.
seriously though

maybe try Jordan Peterson self authoring and help sort yourself out?
22 is pretty young to be despondent, a lot of people feel really lost around then. I did.

Life can be so shit sometimes but honestly, I was in the same place as you around that age, I had a lot of friends but I started to suffer from severe anxiety and depression, became pretty much a NEET and didn't leave the house for close to two years, spoke to my parents maybe once a week if even and we lived in the same house.

What finally made me go outside again was a close friend dying and having to go to the funeral, going out of the house that day was probably one of the hardest if not the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, I literally looked like a ghost and was extremely thin (90 lbs, 5'10) but the funeral itself actually made me realize I had taken my life for granted, I'd though of and had been close to suicide many times but didn't even tell anyone, was just ready to do it one night, thinking nobody would care.

I still battle with depression and anxiety in bouts, it comes and goes but I do have a long term girlfriend now who I've been with for three years and we also live together, she gets me 100% and I never thought I could be myself with anyone. Although I've got a shitty job at the moment and it's hard to come by money, I've went back to studying and in a few years I'll have my degree which will open a lot more doors for me and ultimately make me a lot happier, after what I experienced I do believe there's light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it gets sometimes.

I mean it's pretty normal to make less as a full time over contract. What area do you work in?

and on the other side
>why don't you ever talk

Denver Colorado tech area. Currently network design engineer on a contract but starting to feel like I'm good to go back to cybersecurity. My goal salary wise is pretty much 85K plus. If they can't agree to that the job I'm doing now is not worth it...

well money is money but you can always find another job for another company especially in that area. I'd go for the one you enjoy more.

How about a good feel?

I can see muscle striations on my shoulders when I do DB curls. This is one of the first hard hitting milestones of my lifting career that shows the physical evidence.

It's an excellent cutting method

It's something we all secretly wish, that there is a God and Jesus hell even in our darkest moments we seem to wish for something from someone like God, some part of me wants to believe but I can't in good conscious do that. Those that still believe are either oblivious to the worlds and its peoples problems or are aware and choose to hide from the worlds problems until they never wake up again.

Don't pull this line user, it either shows how innocent you are or how much of a coward you are.

I can't tip hard enough in response to this post.

>believing in a god means you're hiding from reality

What do you call believing in something that doesn't exist then?

Prove it doesn't exist.

Such a black and white world view. I wish I was 12 again lmao

Kill yourself
There's your proof

Absolute edge

I suppose you can share your grey view on the matter? Some things are black and white whether you like to believe that or not but I'm willing to listen user go ahead.

...

Explain how believing in god means that you are oblivious to the world?

How does a belief in a God imply that I am oblivious to the world's problems or that I choose to do nothing out of some sort of "cowardice"?

I know this feel user :(
I feel like life is completely meaningless and nihilism isn't working out for me. lifting is the only thing keeping me going right now.

Plenty of scientific theories (programmer, alien, etc) to explain "God" user. The fact you are 100% certain he doesnt exist just shows ignorance.

Its just as equally likely that he exists as that he doesnt

dont listen to them, thats autism. i guess people are annoyed by you. i had zero fucking friends in middle school because of this. i learned it on the hard way: everytime think twice, if u want to say something never ever talk too much. just listen to the people..
godspeed brother

Having a good think on it, I think you three are right I can't explain my view so it holds no merit, maybe you three can explain your views to me?

God is the expressions of mankind's deepest desire: salvation from death, and injustice. If you want to know what death will be like, imagine the time before you were born. There is no ultimate justice.

You can be stronger without God. Every obstacle you have faced in life, you've faced alone. There is a burden in knowing that life is ultimately pointless, but that is the price of freedom. Life isn't fair so take your revenge on it.

there must be some kind of creator. how do you explain the creation of everything else. i mean just everything like time, space etc. the only theory that i heard explaining the creation without creator sounds pretty much like bs. i dont say that this creator has interest in us, maybe we are just to him what ants are to us. but this creator must exist, something outside of creation

I really want to drink tonight but drank the last of the booze in my place last night. Too lazy to drive out but might have to do it. I know it's slowly killing me

>tfw doggo is epileptic and is having more episodes after 11 months of calm

My oneitis is really into live music and shows. I overhear her talking about his one musician that she really likes. She just says "He's so cool" and I've seen girls when they talk about guys like that. I so wished that could be me she was talking about.

My soul is hurting right now but goddamnit I'm using that buring passion to get better at music. I've been playing for a few years but maybe this is my chance to actually do something with it. I've always wanted to write songs and perform them but in all the years I've played music I could never write a song. It was like putting a square block in a circle hole.

I've also been much more seriously studing music theory and stuff and sometimes I see pictures of her with her friends and other guys and I immediately tell myself to start playing, practicing and learning. The only thing is I get slightly angry about it and want to prove myself. She hasn't heard me play or sing so I'm hoping that I can save it for when I play on stage or something and she'll maybe think I'm cool.

I hate wishful thinking...

i'd read your shit but that pic makes me mad as a chemist
fucking hippies and their fear mongering

All things that exists, including a Divine creator, if such a thing exists, are all the things to exist, there is nothing else to have created them, because that thing would be part of the set of all things. Can you think of any other way it could be?

Are you always saying some shit to try and one up whatever experience someone else is sharing? Humble bragging about shit? Making shitty jokes? Always being a downer or killing the fun of others?

Or are you devoid of any effort at anything to the point even the things you have a passion for you only have a surface level appreciation of how it works? Or even why you like it beyond "dat's cool"

Cause I'm more nerd than I am fit, and I run into these people constantly in my recreation and work. They will complain about how nobody likes them when all they ever do is talk about themselves or talk about stupid bullshit no one cares about and doesn't have any effect on anyone else's life.

One guy in particular would say shit like "I can bench 300 bounds" except for the fact that he had a beer belly, said he had a 160 IQ despite not being able to google a commands and installing unverified software on machines.

The another guy will try to talk to you about how amazing a game is, but when he get's down to it after droning on and on and on and predefending his statements before hand he explains he just thinks it's cool. Example, this class in destiny going in to d2 had a shield change from a stationary spartan shield to a cap america esque shield you can move with. Did this provide a change in tactics that he thought would be good for combat pacing, did it make the game more dynamic and off the wall? Probably, but he was like a fucking 12 year old literally giggling about how you can throw it like cap.

And those are the only things those guys would talk about. They only cared about one little thing that they liked and think everyone else gives them a hard time because they're "nerds." Turns out no one likes an uninteresting self centered man child. Not even other nerds.

uh no
i don't do those

cbd oil will help significantly

easy to make and very effective

thats the thing u cant explain creation with something in creation itselve. you need something outside of creation. imagine we would live in some kind of computer simulation, than it would be clear that this simulation must have been created by something outside of the simulation.

blessed is he who comes in the name of the lord. From the house of the lord we bless you

God judges the righteous, and is angry with the wicked everyday

Wut? No, then the computer simulation would be 'a thing that exists' and therefore part of the set of all things that exist, outside of which there is nothing to do any action including creation.

I always tell people that it doesn't matter whether Jesus or God or the Bible or whatever is real. All that matters is that you live by the message that these things convey. There's no point in concerning yourself over the existence of a divine being that no one has the capacity to understand in the first place.

I like you.

Struggling tonight. Former heroin and alcohol addtict. Been sober for 8 months and been in the gym lifting and dieting. Tonight is the first night without my girl and its getting dark.

>Friday night feels

Its me again

>Lonely professional
>This week has once again been hell
>No human interaction beside work and clients
>I live alone
>I'm saving my money for something, but I don't know what
>My mom has started calling me everyday and I talk to my brothers every week now
>They think I might kms or something
>Yea I'm lonely and miserable with sitting at home and sitting on a pile of cash
>But I do feel like I will make it one day
>I honestly haven't had a gf in over 8 years and I'm turning 30 next year
>I'm not anti social as other people around Veeky Forums or /r9k/
>I just made the mistake of working day in and day out with no regard for friends or meeting new people
>I will be okay but I might end up alone
>My career has taken me through an interesting journey
>Even at 29. I'm still learning a lot about life I once was too busy to recognize
>Or I forced myself to ignore those things because it was too hard on me to see what I have become
>I can no longer be blinded purposely and I'm beginning to fail in life even though I have a career and my own place, car, and goals for the future
>I might be doomed to remain alone or things will begin to change
>2017, was supposed to be our year right guys

I believe in Jesus, but please don't post that long haired hippy anymore.

I Corinthians 11:14

Just got a job at Amazon and now all I see instead of good lifting related threads are amazon threads and autists typing out their mommy fetishes

Where has this board's testosterone gone?

After working shitty job after shitty job, I finally some how landed a pretty decent desk job at hospital. I;ll be pretty much doing reception work, but the pay is a lot better than what I made before.

My problem is that I am scared that I will fuck up and get fired. I've never worked at a proper place before, so I'm kinda freaking out at the thought of working in a new environment with new people who aren't immature high school/college kids.

How do I get rid of these bad thoughts?

heavy lifting 3 months, make 45k with master's, average looks, car, own place, no debt, and girls still don't want me. here i am on Friday night with papa johns and Veeky Forums. hold me

All you cunts stop with the self pity. Life's a bitch and it's out of your control. What you CAN control is whether you view life through the eyes of a victim or victor.