How to /maui/ mode?

How to /maui/ mode?

Be fat as fatass and have 0 charisma

put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up, then call me in the morning

>Step 1: Be Samoan

Be Samoan

>Step 2: Have a diet centered on Spam, Taro and Coconuts

...

>tfw constantly asked if samoan
>tfw people think I am more likely part of a smaller minority vs black
>tfw girls probably don't instantly know I have BBC
>tfw people probably think I was just born THICC and didn't have to work for it

feels batman

>Heavy roids
>Lift every day
>10,000 calorie surplus
>Surgically have your upper legs removed and just connect your knee to your pelvis
Easy bruh

you look pretty samoan desu my lightskin brotha

Never stop GOMAD

Remember that this is maui mode

U FUCKU BICBOI

And yet you're still a virgin

Your neck could use a bit more thickness. I think it'd add a nice bit more to your physique.

Nah there's no doubt you are a nigger

Hawaii rag reporting in.

It is funny because it is true.

Eat like 8000 calories a day?

Have your ancestors live on a shithole island for thousands of years constantly starving to death because you live on a shithold island and so through natural selection you develop a genetic set predisposed to large athletic builds with evenly distributed by still large amounts of body fat to sustain yourself through another period of starvation and scavenging because you live on a fucking shithole island.

Be fat and tall.

This also applies to mestizos.

>tfw you will never be a massive strong-man type tan halfgod with magic powers
>tfw you will never have small, quick, witty and intelligent human gf who also has the lowkey magic power of Singing™
>tfw you will never get to absolutely obliterate said gf