FPH/FPS

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>2017
>using the "pretending to be a girl bait"
>/fit is still falling for this
>mfw

something about extremely predictable, low-res, poorly made anti-sjw shit like pic related makes me crack up. i can tell some 12 y/o made it in three second in paint so he could show his fellow sicc meme friends at school the next day.

I'm athletic and I would like to cuddle some day :(

I think fat is colder in general, because it contains way less blood vessels.

I like how they use "chubby" as a way of avoiding "obese" because chubby sounds cuter and less fucking disgusting.

I have the same feeling. There was a period when I was younger that this was 10/10 comedy. Then I got burnt out for years and had I seen this then I'd have sarcastically gone "Yeah, good stuff." Now, however, a little bit older (I don't mean to come off as an old man or anything since it's not the case) there something delightful and amusing. Maybe it's that way since I could see a younger, happier version of myself having made this in Paint while I chat with a friend on MSN in another window.

Right? There is something really innocent about seeing memes that are obviously made by kids, even if they're trying to be ~really vulgar~

Exactly. I think it gives me a bit of hope that there are still PEOPLE out there growing up that aren't the programmed robots who we see so often. Rather than all these kids who get offended by everything, claim they're allergic to everything except water, need a helmet just to walk to the bus in the morning - it's nice to imagine a group of kids who actually don't scream "HATE CRIME" when their friend tells them to stop being a faggot. I hope they're the same ones who will bring us an updated version of Holocauster Tycoon to laugh at on places such as this.

Back to >>/pol/ you fucking Nazi.

It also gives me hope for people. Seeing those super bad "your mom lol" memes don't just prove that there's kids out there who give zero shit about political correctness, but also proves that they aren't the mindless guro-fapping EdgeBoys™ that we see on Veeky Forums every day.

Those superbad SJW edits prove that there's kids who aren't too sensitive yet, but not desensitized either.

I just really enjoy bad memes making fun of fatties. it's wholesome.

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Nothing worse than a fatty with a 'better than you' attitude.

That's where I agree with slimy. Sweat that's congealed on room temperature skin

>dyel to Veeky Forums, fit to normies
>Kissless virgin at 24
I just want to cuddle and feel, and then maybe walk around the house just looking for things to bend her over and fuck her on.

>be me
>go on tinder
>match with a girl
>nice face
>phat arse
>seems nice enough and I just wanted someone to talk too (was going though some shit)
>meet the meat in a bar
>drink a lot
>drink too much
>go home to my place
>"user, I didn't expect to see action theehee, so it`s not well kept down there"
>go down on her
>I can still taste and smell her

sorry, this is more of a user hate than a fph story

Spotted the kike.
Remember kids, /pol/ is a containment board but now the truth is out.

>/pol/ is a containment board but now the truth is out

Not just fat people but so many people just throw shit out there, who are they talking too?

Agreed

I only laugh at sophisticated maymays for sophisticated memers such as myself

Funny how I didn't imagine the girl that fat until you wrote "theehee", I was thinking "oh poor dude, hope that's a nice story".
Now you went down on a fucking whale you disgusting piece of shit.

WTF IS THIS SHIT??? I thought we were supposed to be the not shit gender. Are men going to start making HAES blogs on Tumblr now??

thicc girls are best cuddles. Not fat, actual thicc with soft muscles

youtube.com/watch?v=2Gp_mhW6yLk

>soft muscles

you mean fat covering muscles

and thicc is never not fat anymore. Thicc is now fat, fat is now obese. Fit is anything with definition anywhere.

This was almost me about 6 months ago. Found a qt 3.14 gf and am still depressed. Turns out I'm the problem.

pic-related is thicc. She's got muscles, a little fat so she doesn't look gross and shredded with ripped abs like a lot of fit girls, but not so much fat that she looks fat. She could even gain 5-10 pounds of fat extra and still be sexy and thicc.

Or that Polish javalin thrower, she had some fat but also enough muscle to balance it out

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mfw i saw that Tshirt print. Fuck man i am ordering a size L, if thats even in their inventory, and look hella ripped in it in public

>make noise on social media
>582 likes
>all that validation

It's not that hard to understand user. True, the people who like that kind of garbage are garbage in and of themselves, but when you're that much of a piece of shit, a back pat from anyone is worth it

>this faggot feels no need for the loving embrace of a woman

I can't fucking stand these narcissistic cunts who have no reason to feel superior but do anyways. It's always some 300 lb barista with a god complex. They're always deluded into thinking they're actually attractive, or stronger than the average woman even though they've never proven anything.

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wtf where do those numbers come from

Make the shirt that would be funny as hell.

Her boobs are even sagging worse than a 70 year old lady.

It should say Fit, not "jacked". Guys who are "jacked" can also be fat and will not fuck better than them. Gimme a nice ottor mode body who can hand cardio over anything else

"The burden of proof lies with the one trying to stop me dying at the age of 35 from a gravy overdose"

Both are fat

You american lardass

why not start a cuddling service?
thesnugglebuddies.com/

>thinking of her bare lardass smearing all over every public sitting surface
And that's why I refuse to wear shorts/ skirts that don't cover the entire surface while sitting

You deserve worse
>referring to them as "meat"
>going down on one

fat people are disgusting when it comes to cuddling, they can be funny most of the time if they're not insecure
i made my bf lose weight and lift heavy he was never fat but now has better looking body :ok_hand:

>not shit gender
Lol, first off it's sex, not gender
And secondly there are just as many shitty men as there are women. Fit doesn't post much against males because a majority of you ARE males who tend to have a strong self serving bias. Your current state of mind is basically the male equivalent of tumblr

I would prefer one cock per cuddle. And I don't plan on cutting off mine.

>requires both an MD and PhD
ISHYGDDT

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As a former fit barista, I HATE working with fatties. Never met a fat barista that wasn't a lazy piece of shit that made my job more difficult. I wanted to kill the last like 400 lb guy I worked with who literally didn't fit behind the counter with the rest of us

Or better yet, just tell her to keep pace with you for a mile and you'll never bother her about her weight ever again. A lot of these fatties are so deluded that they'll think they actually can.

The Olympic athlete is not fat and most likely better shape than you're in

Now tell me, were they usually entitled narcissists?

>call a guy fatass
>"ya you're right. It's whatevs/imma do something about it"

>call a grill a fatass
>they have a breakdown

Gee I wonder which of these is more entertaining to hear about

See, that's why I miss the stories as opposed to just pulling pictures from Tumblr, because while laughing at the fat acceptance movement is pretty fun, it also invites a lot of "fuck women" and "fuck the liberals" posting that I don't think is really necessary here.

Unfortunately, I don't have any fat people stories to to contribute because I don't work in either healthcare or a service industry and no one I work with is more than 10 lbs overweight.

THICC

The last fat guy would actually just try and hide in the back away from me As much as possible- like taking an hour to find cups in the back room etc.(it was full restaurant). Management gave me a 1$/hr raise and I suddenly became responsible for everything this fatass doesn't do, so I'd have to Tell him to do something every time I saw him.
I've worked with other fat men and women who were very full of themselves and somehow thought they were attractive. Their FB profile pics were always hilarious ott MySpace angles and looked nothing like them.
One fat midget chick was hilarious because she kept on imagining that I was calling her fat out loud ( I only ever said it to myself in my head) and would constantly get butthurt over nothing

just because you can't find decent women who care about their health , doesn't mean they don't exist - it just means you're not good enough to attract them lol

Definitely true about shittyness being universal. However there is another factor, the fat guys on fit are usually on the /fat/ general trying to de-fat themselves. And fit, for all its problems, is generally pretty good about supporting people who are putting the effort in and not either wallowing in being obese or trying to turn it into a badge of pride.

Fuck I should get a job doing this

>tfw no ammounting of lifting will fix my stutter and inability to hold conversation

I just wanna cuddle.

tits or gtfo

feminine benis or gtfo

>dr, phil does not count

ooooohhhhhh, the irony

You know nothing about fitness or fucking

Not the user you replied to and 'fuck women/liberals' or other /pol/ tier posting doesn't bother me one bit, but you are right - it's a different category of post. A good fph greentext blows some Tumblr screenshot out of the water every time, it just seems more in-line with the way Veeky Forums 'should be' and less /b/-tier shitpost. Making fun of Tumblr has it's place but real-life stories (and the odd fake one) are way better. An image from elsewhere on the web doesn't have the same comedic impact as a greentext story.

Although I don't have any stories either so shitpost away

I miss the horror stories from that Femanon who worked in that Italian restaurant. Has she posted anything recently? I always keep an eye out for more stuff but it's like she's disappeared from this board.

>thesnugglebuddies.com/
Look at some of the pictures of female snugglers.

Fuck me, these assholes must be desperate. These "women" are all ugly or fat as fuck, or both.

femanon here
fat ppl are hilarious and make everyobe else look thinner. they can be great friendos but no partner material, if they cant take of themselves no way they'll take care of a bf/gf

guy on left is cute

guy on right looks like a pedo

Loved that movie

>However there is another factor, the fat guys on fit are usually on the /fat/ general trying to de-fat themselves.
You're assuming all the fatties youre hearing about are male because thats what people on Veeky Forums do. I literally JUST saw a fat chick posting on fit asking for advice on how to get fit. There's more females on this site than people want to think, we just dont scream VAGINA every time we post (inb4 ima grill meme). hell, id imagine a lot of fat chicks would want to hide the fact that they're fat females considering how some guys on fit have posted about them.

no you're not retard

what you are is mentally ill

id like to add that having a fat guys gut smack you in the forehead when trying to go down is just fucking awful- especially when that same bf at the time would claim to be in better shape than me

Post your tits with your post id for proof then. Otherwise stop trying to claim to be a girl
>Fucking morons on Veeky Forums still falling for the 'tehe im a girl' posts

Any one that uses these forums with any regularity that isnt delusional realizes 85℅+ of 'girl' posts are deranged guys or transexuals.

I dont understand this woman. Every single time i see her she looks different and it gravitates between fit as fuck or kind of chubby. Its confusing

Seconding this. I loved reading that shit.

theres a video on youtube of some guy "documenting" one of these places. I think it was in japan? one of the girl working as a "professional cuddler" was super creepy and said something akin to "I want to rip their faces off when I see a happy couple" while wearing a giant souless grin

your body can change a decent amount in a short amount of time. there's the consideration that she might actually be gaining and losing around a 15lb amount on and off. there's also the consideration of how hydrated you are- being on fit i'd assume you've seen how fighters look on a normal basis vs. how they look when they dry out for a weigh in

jfc who would actually pay to snuggle with this?

She looks like she sweats a lot

Pretty unsettling figure tbqhwy

Nigga, shes fat. Fuckable but 100% undeniably fat. Stop lying to yourself because you aren't fooling anyone else with that bullshit.

Maria looks good when not on her Olympic bulk.

Shes in a dynamic sport that if you knew anything about Newtonian physics you would realize that she gains weight for competition because it provides a huge advantage in her sport. Even if the weight gained is all fat and no muscle.

>when you have to put make-up on your legs to make it look like they have definition
baka desu senpai

nah this chick is more on the hefty side. Her sie isn't the issue, it's body composition. If she was simply thick, you'd see some quad definition at the very least.

LONDON

please be a guy

I will forever be haunted by that story of femanon and the fat dude she fucked

Nobody
They think they are mind readers or some shit so when they go outside, they think all these people are thinking what she thinks they are thinking thus her delusions go to her head as she takes a selfie with that comment.

Someone please repost it.

Shes talking to all of Facebook which she publicly posts her fat ass to. Pic related is a response to "have you ever tried to lose weight" comment.