There is a weight loss competition at my work and the pot for the winner is substantial...

there is a weight loss competition at my work and the pot for the winner is substantial. How do I put on as much weight as possible before weigh-in? The higher my "before" number is the better as the winner is determined by percentage lost.

There's obviously a bunch of ways to cut weight temporarily, but searching for ways to quickly put on lbs (by manipulating my water weigh?) has turned up little results.

sodium and water

Eat a fuck ton of food before hand.

Sue them for causing you to develop an eating disorder and mental anguish.

drink melted butter

Go to the bathroom before you do with as many bottles of water that you can find and down all of them. Get weighed quickly, get out and go for a piss. If they're doing it clothed or some bullshit then put weights in your clothes.

The water thing will work though, people with eating disorders do it to seem like they've put on weight in check ups.

How much do you weigh right now?

How long is this competition?

as he said
also carbs
a metricfuckton of it

I am 225-ish (5'11 king of the manlets) and I've already lost like 20 lbs in the last two months. Competition is memorial day to labor day.

Take a cheat fucking weekend.

5000 calorie days, soda with everything, desert with every meal.

Donuts and Chips and Cereal and shit

Come monday Drink a metric fuckton of water before the weigh in to pack in as much water weight as possible.

Return to the diet and success.

Just my 2c
its just advice
thats all it is
do whatever da fuck you wanna do

Get a plastic bag full of coins and snugly put it in your underwear (assuming they keep you clothes). Should add 3 or 4 lbs right there. Drink a ton of water and make an effort not to exert yourself at all so you don't sweat anything out.

is that even legal

>Eat kettle chips
>drink chocolate milk
>eat canned beef-a-roni

Basically, you want lots of oil and sodium to retain water. Also, since it's an office weigh in I assume you're just wearing regular clothes when you step on the scale. Hide stuff in your shoes or pockets and wear a heavy belt buckle.

Why would it be illegal you fucktard?

Eat lots of peanut butter while chugging 35% cream

Eat a 10 oz bag of Cheetos, drink a liter of chocolate milk and and a two liter of diet soda(caffeine free, look for high sodium content), every day. Don't drink any dietetics. Avoid fiber(avoid fruits and vegetables). Eat lots of Little Cesars and McDonalds. Also wear tight underwear and put rolls of quarters in them. Stay in bed as much as possible.

ENJOY! :D :D :D

because it's against the law?

Buy some sort of weighted vest/belt and wear it underneath your clothes for the initial weight-in

The contest is optional you mong lmao

Fighting biology and genetics by just eating more

>kek never going to make it
>Do blood work every 3 months and figure out what it takes to change your body

Eat or drink(let it melt) 2 quarts of ice cream every day. Binge in MacD's chicken nuggets or tendies. Sit or lay down as much as possible. eat a box of cheap day old doughnuts every day.

They can still be held liable, "hold your wee for a wii" style.

stick lead weights up your ass

t. Fat liberal

supplement all of your food with salt and creatine

Drink lots of water and eat lots of complex carbs

before the weigh in drink 3 gallons of seltzer water 5 cups of heavily salted oats

Just put on ankle weights you FUCKING retard. Something like 2lbs each. Hike them up as far as possible and tape them. Put on baggy clothes.
Better yet stuff them in your briefs. Then if you have multiple weigh ins you can remove just one.

This, they will never know.

The radio station was forcing them to continually drink water
This competition doesn't follow people around and smack food at of people's hands all day lmfao

The only state where "fat discriminashun" is a thing is michigan, which is filled with fat conservative retards like you. Also if you look at an obesity map and a republican voting district map side by side you probably won't be able to tell them apart.

That's a bit racist, user

sorry bb

Stick a bar of tungsten up your ass.

Copying fag

?

Don't even worry about diet or weights, just get your kidneys removed and have a hair cut

>implying my squat plug isn't tungsten

...

Tungsten is denser and safer than lead.

pull a pacquiao and put rocks in your pockets.

start a weight gaining competition for the skinny guys at work. if the boss opposes then sue them for emotional damage.

>Not a dragon dildo made out of tungsten.

I wish my workplace would do something like this.

I can go days without eating easy as fuck. It's my superpower.

Goes without saying that my strength gains are slow though.

If you want to gain weight without putting on legitimate body fat that you'll have to work off, then load the fuck out of carbs, sodium, and water. You'll be extremely glycogen loaded from the carbs, which will pull in the massive amounts of water that you're drinking, and the salt will help you retain it (osmosis).
Load the night before, and then have a high-volume breakfast with lots of water morning of. Hop on the scale for your "official" weight, return to normal diet, and bam you've already lost a shit ton of "competitive" weight without even dieting. Now if you diet for real afterwards, you'll definitely be in the running for some serious payoff.
Could always water load, fast, and dehydrate the night before the final weigh in too, just for good measure to ensure a winning place ;)

bread with salt and butter and coke

eat some bananas too or you will die

6'1 is king of manlets, retard. You are just a normal manlet, not even in the hierarchy of manlet royalty court

The plan is to put on as much as possible in the next 24 hours, lose another 20-25 lbs (legit) over the summer, then do a hardcore wrestling cut before the final weigh-in.

Creatine monohydrate, ten easy pounds of water weight