What's your excuse of not going to the masseuse every week to maximize your gains...

What's your excuse of not going to the masseuse every week to maximize your gains? That shit seriously helped me gain muscle.

>stretches your muscle fibers
>helps you recover from hard ass training
>gets rid of all the nasty stuff from your body so you have less inflammation

Getting regular massage is seriously a gainsbomb. There is literally no reason not to get massaged as often as possible. Most athletes do this, but I have never seen this being promoted on Veeky Forums and it baffles me. Massage is almost as important as sleep and nutrition.

>inb4 stretching and foam rolling

No, they are accessories to recovery. Massage is the true king.

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articles.latimes.com/2012/feb/01/health/la-he-massage-20120202
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im embarrassed to

Post scientific papers and proof or do not care.

Foam roller is like 20 bucks

What a bunch of cucks this board. Holy fuck

Regular masseuse ventures cost money. It's like you want to stay poor or something.

>stretches your muscle fibers
it doesn't

>helps you recover from hard ass training
it doesn't

>gets rid of all the nasty stuff from your body so you have less inflammation
what "stuff" exactly?

the TOXINS and CHEMICALS, idiot!!!

This.

Also why the fuck would I pay some fuck who failed education to touch me,

First of all i don't know where that persons hands have been and don't know how hygeinic that person is.

Second of all, i don't trust anyone, so i'm not about to strip off my armour, lay face down not being able to see what the fuck is going on and then being expected to relax.

Third, fuck you, I can relax myself, i'm not disabled.

you think I have 30 extra bucks to spend every week for an hour of some dude rubbing me? I'd love to have regular massages, preferably at a chiropractor who'll crack my shit up and fix me good but it's just too expensive

Parlors require their staff to have graduated from a massage school, and have policy regarding hygiene when it comes to customers. Unless it's a Korean place, probably.

Buddy you seem like the person who needs a massage.

i go a minumum of once a month to either one of two people. both work for the nfl and nhl teams in my city. one is more of a movement coach and gives me exercises and stretches to do that are specific to my issues and goals for recovery (i have a few injuries i'm working through) in addition to sports massage. he charges $85 an hour. the other does strictly sports massage and graston and charges $40 per half hour. they helped me recover from a major surgery and i can safely say they are the only reason i'm back in the gym now.

Do you get happy endings?

You realize you lose gains by doing stuff that lowers inflammation after training right?

I think you might be retarded.

I have disgusting bacne I wouldn't subject some poor chink slave to, even for a nice handjob.

>I have disgusting bacne

do
fucking
keto

I have a brainy job and don't like keto fog.

foam rolling is free homo

I have no idea what keto fog is, I never experienced it.

>gets rid of all the nasty stuff from your body
thats some new age pseudoscientific bullshit you got there

This pic gets me everytime

Doesn't help your recovery, huh?

articles.latimes.com/2012/feb/01/health/la-he-massage-20120202