Go to gym at 2am

>go to gym at 2am
>it's totally empty
>load 6+ plates on every barbell and Smith machine
>rearrange dumbbell rack to random combinations


Who else is there local gym jackass?

Jokes on you, more microgains from the people who have to organize it.

:^)

>go to gym
>work out
>leave
>counter girl says have a nice day
>say thanks, you too
>but i didn't even mean it

>do pullups
>don't touch the bar with my chest
DIABOLO

>go to gym
>photograph asses
>leave

>go to the gym
>sell squat plugs
>make enough money to renew my gym membership

>counter girl says have a good day
>say I will thanks you too
>proceed to not have a good day

>counter girl says have a good day
>I don't say anything

>go to gym
>get my ass photographed
>leave

I hope you're beaten to death with flimsy weight clips

Then no doubt you got some pictures of it? Don't hold out

>go to gym
>remove all the foot straps from the spinner bikes and recumbent bikes
>throw them in locker room and put a lock on them
>whenever I want to use a bike I just go into the locker room and unlock a couple of foot straps

The area is a lot more empty now, thank god.

let me tell you about my side racket

>go to local gyms
>collect used squat plugs out of trash or sometimes buy them (never pay more than 20% retail)
>get my friend who works in the gym ticket prize arcade to save the boxes from the display squat plugs which is usually enough since there aren't that many popular brands in my area (he does this because I help him out occasionally where he rigs the gym equipment to dispense more tickets by remote control and people see me redeeming them and I give the prizes back later)
>if needed, resurface them with cheap chinese plug repair putty that lasts for like four sessions max before it degrades and falls off
>stockpile them until I go on a trip out of the city
>sell them at gyms in the new city for 60=75% of retail price
>make hearty profit, and no one can backtrace me if they get cancer from a shoddily repaired second-hand squat plug

The receptionist, gym clown, and prize arcade technician are the three key people (+ maybe the janitor) to befriend at a gym. Do this and your gym life will be golden.

Quality post

>spray paint my entire right arm black
>stand in the dark-corner of the gym
>impress everyone with my 1pl8 1hand ohp

>go to gym late at night
>pump helium into the plates
>when people unrack them in the morning they float to the ceiling and stay there until they deflate
>mfw manlets stuck on the ceiling holding onto plates for dear life
>they eventually come crashing down and fucking wreck everything
>gym floor full of holes because plates constantly falling from the roof

...

>Do 800lb rackpulls
>SLAM them into the safeties each rep
>Have bent 4 barbells now

>Walk into gym
>Bar is already loaded with my OHP warmup
Th-thanks

kek

Oh so they reracked the weights? (Cause you only the bar, get it)

Neither did she

O rerwcked oer neon onto my dick last night

Sounds like me or I just say thanks

>go to gym at 2am

>set it on fire

kek get fucked lads

>go to gym
>watch some creep photograph other peoples asses
>photograph his ass
>leave

>go to gym
>use the same barbell for all my exercises

>go to gym
>curl on squat rack

5/5 kek

>go to gym
>sit outside in my car
>go home

>take a shit
>don’t wash my hands
>go back to using gym equipment

>go to my gym
>switch the bench press bar with the ohp bar

I will find you, and I will make you do ab rollers to infinity until you break your spine!

This was nice. Glad I read it.

>take preworkout
>do cardio
LOCK ME UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY

Brilliant

>Leaving gym
>Girl at counter tells me to have a nice day
>I say "Thanks, I will! :^) "
>Don't

Subhuman piece of shit

>be fat piece of shit
>get on treadmill
>3 mph
>5% incline
>wheeze loudly
>squeak out rancid asparagus farts while powerwalking

I wish I could say I was mocking someone else, but this was actually me Today.

>decline bench press
>don't do it

>24 hour gym
>Go late at night while gym groundskeeper isn't there to supervise
>Give all the plates a healthy dose of insulin + growth hormone
>Plates grow to all sorts of abnormal sizes, shapes and weights
>Gym groundskeeper is furious, spends half his day shaving down plates
>Always short tempered and blaming the receptionist girl for putting too many pellets in the plate feed trough

...

You son of a bitch

Kek

>take a poopoo before workout at the gym
>don't use the fragrance spray
>watch people go in and smell my poos

>go to the gym late at night
>place high powered magnets under the deadlift platform
>come back the next morning and watch as people take the train to snap city

...

>go to the gym late at night
>shift all the labels on the machine weights up one (5kg now says 10kg, 10kg now says 15kg etc)
>next day everyone wonders why they've gotten weaker

>Spend all night chopping 20 kg plates into 5 kg slices
>The next day no one appreciates my hard work

>5'10
>manage to jump the manlet pit

D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

>go to gym when it's the busiest at 6 pm
>immediately go to locker room
>take out portable speakers
>put on my LMFAO playlist, full volume
>get naked
>do meatspin style windmills with my flacid dick
>get banned from gym
>start posting in /bwg/

>install hidden bluetooth speaker in every barbell
>every time someone starts lifting whisper into microphone to warn muscles about their owners plan to confuse them
>people wondering why they're not making gains

>use power rack
>move uprights to highest position before leaving so manlets can't reach them without a chair

>lifting on January 1st 2017
>am 6ft btw
>realized girls are now this tall as I fell inside the manlet pit
>have been stuck in here for 6 months
P-PLEASE HELP

kek good one