Find a better breakfast

How much cottage cheese does Daddy's money get u down at the local grocery mart?

something that doesn't clog arteries

Psssh like all that protein is necessary in one sitting. Such a try hard 'I'm an alpha male' meal

The food pics he posts are so fucking cringeworthy, at least he isn't using raw and roughly chopped jalapeño this time. Still looks like garbage thrown onto a plate, though

A lot, its very cheap and daddy gives me lots of money

Lentils and quinoa with steamed broccoli mixed with ground beef browned in avocado oil, cinnamon, cracked peppercorns, salt, oinion powder, ginger, and a little bit of cloves then drained cooked with white beans, tomatos, haberanos, gourmet seasoned tomato sauce, lime juice and (not pictured) sweet potato on the side.

>not gomad
>instead ECOCHAD (eight cups pf cottage cheese a day)

Horrible presentation and those eggs are very poorly cooked.

Elk meat sounds really tasty though, is it similar to Eurasian deer?

can you Veeky Forums veterans just glance over this article real quick and tell me if its true

if it is I'm going to have to change my whole lifestyle

It looks like a bowl of poo.

>avocado oil

Could have chosen a way better fat source.

Otherwise fine.

>tfw no freezer full of elk meat

>eating over 400 calories for breakfast
>eating protein for breakfast
>eating hot foods for breakfast

>oh boy, no better way to start off the day than completely fucking my bowels. But, I gotta eat a lot, especially meat and protein because the fucking TV told me to!

Gas yourselves. Read Kellogg. Cold grains are the best way to break a fast.

>breaking the fast
>making it

>ECOCHAD
>CHAD

REEEEEEEEEEE

>tfw oats for breakfast
Am I the absolute madman?

Congratulations, you just made an expensive unappetizing pile of shit and memes

the cereal man would never lie to you

1 cup fiber 1 cereal
1/2 cup whole milk

>under 200 calories
>entire days worth of fiber

THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO SKIN TEMP (35.5*C)

THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST

TO POP YOUR:

ALPHA BRAIN
SHROOMTECH
KRILL & MCT OIL
PRIMATE CARE PILLS

youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE

>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE

>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA

DUDE BOOOOM LMAO

DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE

>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"

>"BRENDAN "FRASER" "FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"

Joe Rogan, 2015

>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING

Brought to you by SquareSpace©

cue the hempforce mustard

This man knows what the fuck is up.
JHK smile upon you and your regular bowels friend.

Checks out bud

that looks gross

>elk meat
Never had it but anything steak like is dinner not brekky

needs some peppers and onions in it though

need to start eating that, thanks for the rec

I am sad that I can visualize this post

>Emebeding reddit tier meme food channels

Gas yourself familia.

yeah but you have to murder plants to make a cucumber sandwich so why is your crime any worse than mine?

enjoy your nogains

GOMADLETS BTFO

Oh you must mean the world famous food nutritionist, Dr Kellogs?

>eating breakfast ever

Leave Veeky Forums. Just get the fuck out

I don't eat breakfast. Or lunch.

Yeah, that's exactly who I meant

Tim Hortons minus the brown sugar

>Fixed it for you user
Any breakfast that doesn't involve murder is inherently inferior

yes i can gain weight without eating in the morning OH WAIT I CANT YA BIG OLD DIIIIP!!!!!! BABAGABAGABA!!!!!

>hurr durr killing plants is the same as killing animals
If you unironically believe this please end yourself, not even vegan but it pisses me off when people use retarded arguments.

>protip: you cant
I just did pea-brain

can we stop with the people pretending to be angry vegans?
It was funny for like a week and now it's just annoying.

Damn son we got them macro and micro gains

>anything steak like is dinner not brekky

That's dumb. You're dumb.

that is a lot of fucking avocado

HOW MANY EGGS DOC

>flavorless fat on top of dense, bready fat

Truly spectacular.

lol

I can't think of any meal that requires me to kill a person.
How are YOU cooking?

Don't visualize it. Live it.

>unappetizing
it sounds pretty good IMO, but the apperance is a little unappealing, yet again, some of the best meals that I have had kinda looked like garbage

its stuff you'd learn in basic bio classes in HS
the body tries to be as efficient as possible and not waste shit, so why would it throw away extra nutrients?

>ECOCHAD
>eight cups pf cottage cheese a day
That's ECPCHAD dumbass

>kiwis
inferior fruit choice, plus you only have one. thats hardly even enough to taste the damn thing
>that much avocado
maybe I dont like avo as much as other people, but WHY that much

>not eating the hearts of your enemies to gain their power
>making it

Pick one

Can you elaborate this idea?

This was a trip

I do that for lunch. I thought I only needed one enemy heart a day!

>not eating oats first thing in the morning
>not wanting to take a satisfying shit the very next day

Lower the evil sex drive on purpose, what could be better?

nothing in that pic clogs arteries

>hurr durr killing animals is the same as killing people
If you unironically believe this please end yourself, not even normal but it pisses me off when people use retarded arguments.

>too much brown on the steak
>yolk isn't runny

good job wasting six bucks