How would Veeky Forums fare in this situation?

How would Veeky Forums fare in this situation?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=e51TlGBTyVg
liveleak.com/view?i=2a8_1455909945
youtube.com/watch?v=9beyXvtpdPw
huckberry.com/journal/posts/man-kills-grizzly-with-hands-and-teeth
youtube.com/watch?v=bZgklu52Rus
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

I would have tackled that paki shit the moment he stopped to turn the corner and crushed his head

you are the paki meathead

I'm not going to try to outrun a cheetah.

Honestly, at that point, i would just try and fight the thing.
There's absolutely no point in running, there's zero chance of you out running a fucking cheetah.

>Fighting a Cheetah

You'll die in 2 seconds

getting that broom so i can at least try to smack it or something

...

grab broom and wack it on the noggin. Killing it in one blow

I'd fucking wrestle that overgrown pussyass bitch cat, break all of its bones, bite it in its fucking neck, kill It, eat its insides for that there feline brotein, and then proceed to piss and defecate ALL over its frail body as a punishment for daring trying to fucking eat me.

in theory a cheetah is fast but weak, but only compared to lions and similar stuff, dunno how it is compared to a human

to answer op, finding asap a fatty or anything that runs slower than me

Move my head down and press up my traps to expose as little of my neck as possible and through the absolute hardest right hook at its rib cage I could as its dagger claws shreds me to pieces

This, but I would shoot the paki too just for the good of my community.

Cheetahs don't have retractable claws, so they are blunt from all the walking on them, so really you only have to worry about their teeth, they really aren't that big it's possible I would think.

It just a fucking cat man, it's not even big as lions or tigers

smile to myself, understanding that this was what i trained for, unsheathe my katana, give my opponent the customary opening bow, and begin the battle to the death.

>i would just try and fight the thing.
how the fuck would you fight that thing? he would rip you apart with nails and teeth in a second

it's way heavier than a dobermann tho, would you take on a dobermann any day of the week?

>These guys

Do you REALIZE how fast and strong a Cheetah bite is?
There is no fucking way an unarmed human has a single chance against it
He would bite your neck off before you could count to 1

I HAVE RETARD STRENGHT ON MY SIDE

>*teleports behind cheetah*
>nothin personnel, kid

SUPLEX

Square up my stance.
Tuck my head.
Watch the approach.
Shove my fist down its throat.
Put it into a hold.
Hemorrhage its eyeballs inwards.

humans by istinct offer an arm to defend from animals, if (big if) you can avoid a first bite to the neck maybe (bigger maybe) you could hit him hard enough to make him give up, but i doubt we will ever test it out anyway
never said it was easy or possible anyway, just conjectures

I read an article about a hunter who was mauled by a bear, but the crazy fucker shoved his arm down the bears throat and then bit it's jugular until it passed out. He escaped and his arm was a little chewed up but still functional. 10/10 would try on a cheetah

Ain't nothin' but a peanut!

Cheetahs have no endurance. Just choke the pussy so it won't be able to bite you and it will be exhausted in a few seconds when you can take the initiative

youtube.com/watch?v=e51TlGBTyVg

Are you one of those autists that think dogs can beat humans in a fight? Because they can't. Any competent, somewhat athletic man could easily kill any breed of dog. The only weapon a dog has is it's teeth, the worst thing it can do is bite you on the fucking arm, at that point you can just barrel through the pain and choke his bitch ass out.

Nowhere to run
I'll have to fight it

The Revenant?

Draw my Cold Steel Emperor Katana and kill the oversized cat.

Are you one of those autists who talks about things he has never seen or done?

>implying you know me
I literally saw my uncle fight a pitbull when I was 6-7 yrs old, you faggot.

if you said aunt it would have been more believable

There's a perfectly good broom handle right there. Running just activates the cheetahs predator instincts. I'd grab that broom and keep the cat at bay smacking it in the face nose and ribs until it gets bored. Or if it keeps being aggressive as fuck you could try breaking the handle at an angle and stabbing it

>be cheetah
>*teleports behind you*
>*pssh... nothin personnel kid
>*rawr >:3

Seconded

half a mile in 17 seconds is crazy

i would throw dog treats at it

Pit bulls are shit. Let's see your uncle fight off a boerbol, Tibetan mastiff, Spanish mastiff, or ovcharka. All of those are breeds designed to fight off meaner shit than a human being and would happily fuck you up in short order.

There's been a couple of occasions that a man has fought and killed a fully grown bear with his bare hands, and I reckon a bear would fuck a cheetah up.

It's unlikely you'd win, but not impossible. I think you'd fare better trying to fight it head on than trying to fucking outrun it and it ends up taking you out from behind anyway.

die, but at least my death will be absolutely aesthetic.

This guy would survive and probably go out unharmed. Rest seems to be in danger or in possession of additional chromosomes.

I'm not going out without a fight bro, cats are pretty weak pound by pound, plus thats a cheetah and its only weapon are its teeth

I would have grabbed the broom and tried to scare it off or beat it if i have to because outrunning is obviously not an option.

Annnnnnnnd I just remembered that Veeky Forums isn't nsfw

no but getting ripped is

>not wanting extra chromosomes
THREE CHROMOSOMES COME ON

>mfw
Cheetahs are actually pretty fragile and extremely skittish about receiving an injury since wounds are almost always death sentence in the wild, so I'd probably turn around and start swinging. I'll more than likely be in need of a lot of stitches afterward, but at least I'll have a cool story to tell. If it so happens that I die then it can at least be said that I didn't go out like a bitch.

Lol. Unless it manages to jump on my throat there is no way a single cheetah can kill an adult human. I can grab it and beat it in the head and it can't do shit. Sure it could bite me, but that's the last thing i would do.

>predator cat from hellhole africa
>runs 60+ mp/h
>claws meant to penetrate through antelope hide
>carnivore teeth combined with a bite strong enough to tear meat off of a skeleton belonging to an animal that is built multiple times more resilient than a human

Yeah ok user you go have fun
At least do it publicly so we have something to watch

you might be able to out maneuver a cheetah

it* would do

give me an actual documented occurrence of a man fucking up bear with his bare hands

>Slide and stop by the bucket's
>Turn to face the cheatah head on as it jumps
>Open mouth
>eat the entire cheatah
>the whole thing
>Whatever it takes

Thus. Cheetahs have shit tier bone density. I'd try to break its leg with a kick or stomp its paw, then run.

Story? Where s the rest of the video?

impale it with the broomstick as it soars towards me
only hope desu

liveleak.com/view?i=2a8_1455909945

I'm stronger than a doberman though

as much as i disapprove all the bs in this thread, a tiger is several times bigger than a cheetah

I have always wanted to kick a cat to death. Just to watch it die.

This

id get on all four and kick towards its throat and its eyes/nose. above all else, make sure you never let it get close to ur throat. your almost fucked in this situation because you cant outrun it and you cant fight it off, so your best bet is to disable it by blinding them or landing a very powerful kick to its throat.

dont skip leg day guys u might need powerful legs to fight off a big cat one day

Pretty sure a well placed kick between the ribs is all it would take desu

Right, but in case you wanted to see a paki get killed by a cat, there it is

Like is there a place I can go to kill things for fun?

Jej

If you run you die in 5 and go out like a bitch.
Honestly, if you have no weapons you're pretty much dead, at least if you try and fight it you might scare it away since they're so fragile in the wild and will avoid literally anything.

I once fought a rottweiler, have pretty bad scars in my left arm because of it.
I guess i would just try and to the same thing i did that day: punch it in the face really hard until the fucker is down.

Did you see that jump in OPs gif? No way in hell you can out maneuver a cheetah.

Mexico

The mental hospital you fucking future psychopath.

Yeah, I could probably take it. Just think about it for a second.

...

>Implying I don't have a basement full of bodies.

Grab broom and break the end hoping for sharpened point and try to fight the thing cause there's no point in running from a cheetah.

is his brain going "screw this shit, im outta here"?

Are you retarded? Have you seen how cheetas hunt? They literally just jump at you and bite through your skull.

Depends, are you a nigger?

fuck up the cheetah with my bare hands
youtube.com/watch?v=9beyXvtpdPw

No
huckberry.com/journal/posts/man-kills-grizzly-with-hands-and-teeth

Just Google it you fucking mong.

Jesus fuck what a guy

It just a scalp

You obviously can't outrun a cheetah but they weigh 110lbs on average and they have a really weak jaw compared to other cats, and blunt nails. It wouldn't be easy but it's far from impossible to kill it.

...

...

Gotta eat BIG to get BIG

CMON

Sans rigoler.

Je pratique la MMA depuis maintenant 6 ans, de la boxe en parallèle depuis 7 ans, je pourrai.

Ainsi que la musculation depuis 4 ans, 1m87 pour 86 kg

J'ai une vitesse de fou, et des réflèxes identique a ma vitesse. J'ai juste a l'attendre qui me charge l'esquivé et lui donné des bonnes patates dans la têtes. Je le lâcherai pas à la moindre erreur le cheetah est finit. T'auras toujours des puceaux d'ici pour penser que c'est impossible. Rien n'est impossible avec de la volonté déjà les amis, et de 2 ) c'est pas avec votre corps de lâche que vous allez faire quoi que se soit.

N'importe quelle homme un minimum entraîné peut vaincre un cheetah avec un couteau déjà. A main nue c'est pas forcément plus compliqué ça demande juste de la technique.

>slashes ur throat imediately
heh nothin personel kid

I'D LIKE TO SEE A DOBERMAN BENCH ONEPL8

Tu dois être Algérien

lol doberbitch dyel

I would tell it that roids are bad 4 u

I don't think I'd get much say in the matter, in situations like this your fight or flight takes over and you go into a blackout roid fury. But if I had to choose I'd go with fighting the thing, adrenaline is a hell of a drug, and all you need to do is cripple or kill it then run the fuck out of there. But then again, my rood brains taking over so I don't get much of a say.

You turn your back to it and you are fucked.

Run right at it to scare it off and if it lunges at you try to intercept it with a blow or something.

I bet a good smack to the nose or kick to the chest/gut would make it reconsider, if it even comes after you in the first place.

Cat's dont really give a fuck about you unless you expose your back.

Cats are assholes. I don't know why people love them so much.

I'm not saying I'd win, but I'd fight it. It's not like I can outrun it down a hallway. Plus, I have years of rage and hatred built up from my roommate's asshole cats on my side.

Also, cheetah bites strength is comparable to a dog of its size, and that's all it has. As other anons have stated, its claws are relatively blunt.

Fuck cats, though.

Rich white folks kill animals all the time to make themselves feel manlier. Just get a hunting license and go have fun.

this kitty is much stronger and deadlier than OP's kitty. This one drives into rivers to ear fucking crocodiles. Like, in the water, in their element. That's some legendary shit.

I would teleport behind it, unsheathe my katana, and reassure the cheetah that I harbor no personnel ill will towards it.

>Cat's dont really give a fuck about you unless you expose your back.
This
youtube.com/watch?v=bZgklu52Rus