Haven't shat in 1.5 weeks

Go out and ask Jamal to dick you that will loosen it up.

Might get a bullet in the neck for getting shit all over his dick though but that's a risk you'll have to take.

This

While we're on the subject of shitting, is it normal that I often don't shit more than once every 2-3 days? I only eat 1500kcal a day though which is supposedly around 800-900 below my TDEE but shitting every day is out of the question.
I started drinking coffee again recently (couldn't sleep for quite some time so I dropped it, but the main cause was probably stress anyway) and it seems to help sometimes but I still wonder if I shouldn't be shitting more often.

Press F to pay respects.

One of the rare /pol/ posts that actually made made me laugh

It's more important that your schedule is regular, but try including more fiber in your diet. 3 days is about the time period where it becomes a negative indicator.

ye, when i ate around those calories, i only shit every other day or so

Nice knowing you user, greet Zyzz when you are in heaven

Eat more fiber

>What is bowel obstruction?
>What is bowel perforation?
>What is peritonitis?

> have my jaw wired shut
> liquid only diet
> diarreah every 10-20 days

Only good excuse for not shitting 2-6 times a day.

more calories around 3-3.5k=2-3 shits daily, below 2k=1 shit per day or 1 in 2 days, normal

>Haven't shat in 3 days.
>Previously weighed in at 95kg.
>Been eating 1500kcal and going to the gym every night.
>Now weigh 98.8kg
>Extreme gut pain.
>Can't pass any shit, just gas.
HELP

>>laxatives and stool softeners have not done shit
Call your doctor right now.

Lol it doesn't work like that. You need to look at fiber, veg, etc intake. I can eat about 1500 cal a day and can shit up to 4 times a day, usually its 2

Have you tried ex lax? If so, it's time for suppositories. Pepper your angus and shove a bunch of little dildos made of oil up your sweet boi pucci. Take the two together ideally.

t. Constantly constipated as a kid.

>I often don't shit more than once every 2-3 days
Same here.
I honestly have practical approved that fiber/water/or whatever other shit is a meme. I think the reason people shit 3 times everyday is coffee, cigarettes, alcohol and shit bought food, which I do none of those.
I've been exercising, eating a lot of veggies and things like oats, drinking a lot of water and my shitting routine didn't change.

Pic related.

practically proved*

i take them once a week, not for constipation but for big satisfying poops and weighing less. Am I gay?
Not op

All I can say is you guys should start walking 30 minutes every day. I had bowel movements issues too but now started walking an hour every day and it's a lot better

Drink a liter of water.

You'd need to calculate the total volume squared compared to the average cock size to be sure. It's prob like 5% complete homo

15% of average cock = not gay

u have bad gut bacteria hombre, less I eat , less I shit, simple

-10% gay if they're feminine suppositories

i steal them from my grandma so -10% gay hell yea

This, had constipation for a while
Keep up the myrilax and clean eating until you're poopin green

T. Former constipant, doctor said "green is clean"