MIRE THREAD?

Such a fucking babe.

I dunno mate. She is hot and an okay actress.

>be me
>be playing guitar with a tank top in a park with another bro that is Veeky Forums too
>some hippies come play with us
>skinny nigga amon them mire me
>says "wow never saw a guitarist with such big arms"
>i smile at him while playing
>ask us what we do to have such arms
>say we just lift the musical gear kek
>not even that big, just had my arm flexed and sticked to my torso

Was he gay?

>hooking up with this fit girl
>seriously her legs are like a vice grip
>face looks hayley atwell
>pick her up and throw her around, etc
>step off and bed and pull her to the edge for prime fucking position
>she giggles
>"I've never been with somebody so big and strong user"
>later I'm walking to get us some water
>"damn, you've got a nice butt too"
>when I get back she tells me to walk slower so she can enjoy the show
Later we were talking about our workouts, maxes, ext.
I'm not huge, I can do 1234 though for at least ORM. She tells me she can 135 for 10 reps on deadlifts. Asks me for mine. About 385 for 5 reps, 405 for one. Her jaw dropped. 1234pl8 really is enough to blow most normies minds.

No, he just wanted a dick, no homo

Goddammit I would miscegenate with that woman so hard, not just our kids but also my ancestors would become kikes.

Yes and he is gay too

idk man his eyes were so empty bro

Dont talk about her that way

khazar milkers claims another one

...

Not autism.

Autism is ok when your hot.
I can confirm

>See hot news reporter named Bethany out every morning around 7 am
>never have the courage to say anything to her because she’s so cute
>one day I decide to walk past her and say hi
>next day see her in the same place just after reporting the news
>walk past her and say hi, talk about what it’s like on the news, bloopers, shit like that
>eventually ask her on a date and she says yes, gives me her number and puts her name in my phone as ‘Beth’ with a smiley face
>meet her Thursday evening after work at this dumb arts festival thing
>basically the businesses stay open until 9pm and showcase various art, also give out free wine
>thought it would be a good place for a first date
>I get there a little early and walk around and try to chug some wine to get a little buzz
>meet her at one of the shops and we walk around drinking wine looking at paintings
>never once was there an awkward silence, we talked about dumb stuff the whole time
>eventually we get bored and she mentions this really good ice cream place nearby
>we walk a few blocks down to a place called Beal’s Creamery
>we both get vanilla shakes and get an uber back to her place a few mins away
>finally get to her house, she has a pretty nice place with a pool out back
>still kinda buzzed so suggest we go skinny dipping
>she giggles and walks out to her pool, strips naked, and dives in
>literally just like you see in the movies, I was rock hard by this point
>I walk out to the pool and take my shirt off
>kinda fumble around taking my pants off and accidentally knock my shake that I set down into the pool
>she says it’s no big deal and that we can share the rest of hers
>about to take my boxers off when I glance back at the pool and see the ice cream from my shake just floating on top still frozen
>tfw Beth’s pool can’t melt Beal’s creams

But did you smash nigga?

Well, somehow my ex wants me to fuck her after I told her that I don't give a fuck about the past.
She likes my pecs.

Do it

This was a fake story

Meeting is already set, gonna fuck her multiple times in a row.
I'm not sure if I should not fap for a few days in order to impress her with that gargantuan first load, or if I should just jerk it an hour before in order to fuck her silly for an hour with no stop.

Also, just to let your creativity make your dick hard, this is a first for me - she sent a nude where you can clearly see she cried because her eyes and face are both red. Is this what being Chad feels like? When women cry tears of both depression and joy when you wanna smash them?

my friend watches dbz and one punch man and gets all the bitches cause he's fit as fuck, minor autism can be overcome, its just a meme

Dont jerk it before you smash. That first load is important.

>walking down street on hot day in tanktop
>wink at group of girls
>they giggle nervously and look back at me

I love being alpaca.

Thanks lad. I look forward to her reaction when I'll blow it all over her face, just like back in the good old days.

The fear of backslash from feminazis and SJWs today is so huge that people started to say this kike who can barely act and with tranny body proportions is nice. Some retards are even saying she's gorgeous, the ultimate woman.

Jesus fuck... Time to nuke humanity.

>Gal gadot is not gorgeous
Go back to /pol/ incel

Kek you got me you prick

lelll

>implying you wouldn't want to have gal as your wife
you're gay as fuck my dude

>had to give a bit of blood for some college related shit
>old nurse has trouble finding my vein
>veins are popping all over my fucking arms yet she cant find one
>"finds" it on my right hand
>i go workout later that day
>5 days later my biceps starts hurting when i stretch my arm out
>2 days later my vein gets inflamed and i get a hematoma
>go to hospital because gfs mom said it might lead to something serious
>wait 2h
>get called in
>cute nurse waits for me outside of room
>smiles at me
>they have to measure my BP and take some more blood
>doctor leaves and its just me and nurse
>chit-chat
>asks to see my vein
>show her with semi flexed cep
>she softly strokes it and grabs it a bit
>"ohh yea... hmm that doesnt look good"
>proceeds to feel up
>im just sitting there looking at her in slight shock
>we talk a bit more
>doctor comes in and tells me to wait for my blood results
>wait another hour
>get called in
>nothing wrong
>cute nurse smiles and waves goodbye

Once you become Veeky Forums and are decent looking you notice women are just as autistic as men when it comes to sexual interests. I dont know how many women sperged out infront of me ever since i became "good looking". I just didnt think it happened to women too.

...

...

That was a very convoluted and forced pun, but I still appreciate it

>finally gotten noticable chest and biceps after 6+ months at the gym
>notice older women at the gym turn around between their sets to look in my direction, in the corner of my eye
>no idea how to act on this, with the very few of them who are hot

>Brown hair
>Brown eyes
>Brown skin
> Neither ass or tits are anything to write home about

Omg 10/10 waifu girl power. U r gay bro if you don't want my jewish princess.

Nah, I'll pass.

I get this with teenagers a lot. I try to avoid eye contact so they can't see the fear in my eyes.

I thought 135 meant 135 kg and I was like "A-user, that's not normie tier" before I realised

>he likes blond girls

>tfw all my mires have been from pretty females
>tfw almost all have been either too young or too old
C-Can't someone my age like me?

>Go to the public pool thing
>Lots of 8/10 and 9/10 chicks 19-20 yrs old
>Some turbonormie friend checks in on Facebook with me and others
>Get home
>Friend requests from chicks
>Not mentioning the cheeky mires at the pool

Dunno brehs, but it seems like i made it.

S I P B O Y S 2 0 1 7
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>gerardjoling.gif

>C-Can't someone my age like me?
No.
You as a man should be looking for younger girls.

>inb4 Chris Hanson

I mean relatively younger.
I'm 23 and the youngest I would go for is 18, partly because of the law and partly because I don't want a girl who will gossip about HS.

Post body

New meme

>TFW a girl like OP's pic cornered me in first year university dorm
>Pushed me against the wall, unzipped my hoody slowly and purred "sexxy"
>I froze
>Completely
>She walked away
>Lived in the room next door
>Got to hear her get fucked throughout the year
>All the guys who got laid in the first few weeks got a reputation and got hot 17/18 year old first year pussy all year
>I got nothing
>because I froze

It was after first year I vowed to cure my autism. It took a few years but I've done it

He's not even big

>wake up this morning on a friend's couch after a night of carousing
>the four of us who stayed go to a local diner for a breakfast
>pick out our booth
>waitress is lady in probably her 50's
>polite to all of us
>extra polite to me
>I feed into it because it's a free ego boost, so I'm friendly back
>order our food
>she has another waitress come out to help her
>other waitress mentions that she had to come out because our regular waitress couldn't stop talking about how gorgeous my eyes are
It's nothing to do with my physique, but I thought of it when I opened the thread, and I love being complimented on my eyes.

You're too incel to be picky lmao

Post pic of eyes

Also
>The local diner for late breakfast after a night of drinking

The best times

I would but my camera's shot on my phone. But I can tell you that they're grey with the slightest hint of blue. It makes them look fantastic in some light. And I can't put into words how great a hangover omelette is to me.

I didn't notice at first but every single girl is bent over to make him appear taller.
They still haven't learned.

looool is that Isley?

Id be volcel all my life if that 5/10 jew was my only option.

>watches DBZ and 1 punch man
w-what's wrong with th-this

...

lmao she's not an option for you don't worry. You don't have options, that's why you've regressed into a stormcuck

you tried

they were laughing at you for being such an autistic faggot, bro

One of the strangest mires I got

>Three years ago I just started working out
>More confident and in general happier
>Long time friend is moving away and wants to hang out
>Havent seen her in months
>Eventually she realizes Ive been working out and feels my bicep
>"omg user youve gotten so big"
>Guy next to us at the bar reaches over and makes direct eye contact feels me too and nods
>not a single word was uttered from him the rest of the night

based

Yeah before he went permabulk mode

He was probably mulling over how best to take you out back and bend you over a dumpster, gotta watch your back in life. Good talking to you

I don't see it

>be me
>Wearing one of my tight as fuark fitting shirts
>walking at walmart buying chicken liver to fish with the boyz
>Pass a older chub 3/10 woman and her fat fuck son
>Walking past me
>I heard them talking about some random unrelated bs. I think they were talking about where something was located in the store
>She stops mid sentence
>Turns to her son. Hits him with the "You need to go to the gym" outta nowhere.
>Walk past and pay for my shit
She completed stopped outta nowhere and said that.
D-did I make it? Not even a big guy yet.

Haha fucking this.

You get the "(turns to friend)OMG look at him!"-look everywhere. Feels so good and uncomfortable at the same time.

I hit on this one qt but her fatty friend cockblocked the shit out of me that day.

>bump into primary school teacher today , I don't recognize her but she knew me
>realise it's Mrs Brodie
> she says "wow user what have you been eating!" , implying I am taller than I was in primarys school

best moment today

Shitskin detected. Every aryan wants blond girl to create aryan children

>met this few chick through friend had a little conversation
>a few days later see them after I was at a beach party so I was wearing tank
>one of them who is known for flaking guys look at me
>she's says wow user you should wear sleeveless shirt all the time
>I answered that it too cold
>she says:with your body finding some girl to warm you won't be a problem.

DBZ and OPM are the 1% of anime that are non autistic and that you can actually tell people you watched

Should've thrown her a burger and told her to chill the fuck out

I don't think I've heard this pun before so I don't get it

Everyone in my elementary was collecting and trading DBZ cards. You were an autist if you didn't watch it. Before that we were all collecting pokemon cards. I had a cool elementary.

Le aryan master race meme

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

There is no too Young or too old!
There is only you are to GAY!
I get triggered by pussies like you...
You must already lose your virginity.

>girl from tinder sends me snap of her room
>from the window I can tell where she lives
>tell her I'm coming over
>she doesn't believe me
>end up coming in and within an hour of meeting her smashing

Daily reminder that you're not a creep if you're attractive. Pic related

Again, my english is Zyzz is kill level
>be owner of a small bussiness
>contract a lot of haitians
>they're cheaper
>always wanted to be a slave lord
>little slave sees me and say "verr beautiful patron!"
>at the same time girl lock eyes with me
>she almost hit a lamp post in Front of my business looking at me

top kek did you have some pics of her?

>in walmart with my son looking for veggies as a little chubby after my vacation
>see some fat sack of shit wheezing as he wanders around holding a stack of chicken tendies
>oh God, he's wearing a shirt 5 sizes too small, surprised he can even breathe
>tell my son he needs to go to the gym to make sure he never looks like that

hahaha I'd recognise that squint anywhere
I think it's quite endearing n-no homo
makes him look like a puppy

Aryans were black haired, retard

...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aryan_race

>Italian Fascism strongly rejected the common Nordicist conception of the Aryan Race that idealized "pure" Aryans as having certain physical traits that were defined as Nordic such as blond hair and blue eyes.

I'm italian, i can confirm aryans are blonde with blue eyes, we just have an inferior complexity problem beacuse the majority of us are mediterraneans

was suspicious at beal but was expecting a meal deal pun. still shit tho

Sorry, I'm talking about real aryans like indo-iranians, not about your meme """aryans""" which were invented by some retards. You are very stupid, don't post here.

>be me
>set off to uni as 6'5 90kg average lad
>don't lift often but do rowing for college
>come home from uni after 2nd term
>rowing mate from home says my arse is better from erging no homo
>girlfriend becomes obsessed with my arms, back and arse
>mates say I got a lot wider since they've last seen me
not even that big desu, 6'5 105kg now

Kys fucking idiot

...

I'm 6'4 75kg closing in on ottermode. God damn I feel like an anorexic cunt when others mention their weight.