Give me a quick rundown on the 17th century

The French king tried to pull a Napoleon, but although he defeated many coalitions of Great Powers, in the end zall he conquered was Alsace and a few cities in Belgium

The Great Northern War started and ended in the 18th century.

>mfw this faggy high heels wearer caused both WWs by stealing Alsace to the Germans

Proportional to the European population at the time, the Thirty Years War was the deadliest war in history.

I'd say that's a pretty big happening.

And the Franche Comte
But yeah, it could have been so much more.

shitty dubs, tons of things happened in the 1600s
see

The first two were "Grand Coalitions" on paper but not in reality. The 3rd one was the closest to a "Grand Coalition" but again it was mostly Holland giving it all vs France, England taking the chance to scavenge clay overseas rather than focusing it on Europe as per usual, Sweden and Scotland only nominal participation, and the rest halfassing it.

4th one isn't 17th century lad.

These were all multi-front wars with up to 5 frontlines and most of (relevant) europe in arms against France

England want nothing do with europe
England want colony
England make colony
Europe be stupid
England happy

...

No. The first 2 weren't. It was France taking flemish/waloon cities and some irrelevant '''''''warfronts'''''''' elsewhere. The third one was the same only with the Dutch going full banzai and bankrupting themselves in the process, ''''''''''warfronts''''''''''''' elsewhere and english seaniggers taking the chance to going seaniggering to NA, the Caribbean and India.

Is seanigger Dutch for pirate?

...

Dutch were seaniggers too, but unfortunate ones because they didn't live in an island and realized too late of the implications.

Tail end of the Elizabethan era and Shakespeare was neat, Catholics try to blow up parliament, later king challenges parliament which leads to civil war, as usual the revolutionaries act like the tyrants they overthrew, Charles II turns out to be cool, forming the royal society (scientists) and other things so they let him reign but afterwards his brother fucks shit up and parliament takes control and allies with the Netherlands in the so called "glorious revolution", Britain becomes a major power with a free press and the first steam engines and such setting the stage for the industrial revolution

>english seaniggers taking the chance to going seaniggering to NA, the Caribbean and India.
As anglo diaspora, I prefer the term "boatnigger" but this is good too.

Most fashionable period in history

We're never gonna make it aren't we?

The main front of the Dutch War and the War of the Grand Alliance was the Rhine against almost all of the german principalities.

Also, the italian and spanish frontlines were neither irrelevant as 10s of thousands of troops were fighting there across broad frontlines and with major battles.

Hang on. That industrial stuff is 18th century isn't it?
Although i recall the agricultural revolution started in 17th century England

>Heheh, we sure have defeated the habsburg niggers in germany and spain '''''''almost'''''' alone and without outside help, now lets humiliate our former english allies and then declare war against our other french allies, what is the worst that can happen

Halfassing it. Austria f.i was nominally in it but in reality it focused its efforts in the war against the Ottomans, not in the Rhein front.

As an Englishman i unironically love the Dutch. They sort of feel familiar in their history.
Small country that becomes an economic powerhouse and punches above it's weight as well as having notable thinkers disproportionate to the population

ARRRRRR ME HEARTIES

>yes, indeed, goy.... i mean my fellow burger, this fine tulip bulb did indeed only costs two lasts of wheat, four lasts of rye, four fat oxen, eight fat swine, twelve fat sheep, two hogsheads of wine, four tuns of beer, two tuns of butter, 1,000 lbs. of cheese, a complete bed, a suit of clothes and a silver drinking cup; its a steal

I remember reading the first functional steam engine was invented near the end of the 17th century, like 1698 or something. Also Isaac Newton did his thing in the 17th century.

>these stripy bois toppled a nation

Anglos were joke tier for most of the 16 and 17th century.

The industrial revolution began in 18th century Britain. It spread across Europe and to the United States during the 19th century.

Yeah but agricultural revolution was 17th right?

>the most significant event of the 17th century was thst Anglos were joke-tier
Imagine being this obsessed with England

Apparently, Poland was really big and Lithuania was somehow involved.

Could anyone dump some images from the 17th century, like dress/arms and armor/etc? Especially from eastern europe and the ottoman empire.

The Irish would disagree with that statement

But noone is asking them.

Hahahah

>praising the guy that teamed up with t*rks
If things went his way, half of Europe would be mudslime now, thank god for Germans being badass

Bunch of drunk hohols got especially drunk and bullied some polish faggots for fun. Sweden wanted a threesome, Russian went for "just the tip".

Also those wiki summaries are utterly misleading. In half of those wars, Habsbourgs were silmountaneously fighting the Ottomans, who were the strongest empire around at the time. And claiming that Prussia fought alongside Habsbourgs in War of Spanish succession is just silly, not even talking about Englands utter irrelevance in Europe other than financial subsidies.

>England want nothing do with Europe

England wanted 3 strategic towns in Holland and passed anti-free trade navigation acts (basically state run piracy) to ruin dutch commerce in their benefit. England was enourmously dependant on trade with Europe. Back then their overseas colonies were insignificant and nobody cared about that. It was decades of playing the French and the Dutch against each other while practising piracy and smuggling in the spanish colonies what had them gain momentum to achieve commercial maritime superiority first and naval superiority later.

Can we have a recommended reading list for the period? Tia

Pic related is pretty good.
Also try the book with the same title by Peter H. Wilson.

We won.

Those aren't high heels...

>as usual the revolutionaries act like the tyrants they overthrew
that didn't happen faggot

Alot of niggers died

My nigga, good book.

Gustav II Adolf is my husbando.

>tmw crime literally does pay

basically just a continuation of the 16th century

This, this and this.

The 17th century is legitimately one of the most interesting and exciting periods of history, rivaled only by the 18th century and early 19th century (basically solely for Napoleon).

>eastern europe
Hungarian nobleman

Polish nobles

Congratulations, this is the stupidest post on Veeky Forums as of this moment

Russians

Russian women

Indeed.

Thank you for this post

>discovers gravity

I meant 'invents gravity'

Y'all mind if i
INVENT GRAVITY

>implying

The war of devolution was called in french 'Promenade Militaire'. They literally walked in and took Franche Comte and a a fuckton of cities in Belgium/Luxembourg/Lorraine.

That's because Spain didn't give two shits. After Westphalia, and more specifically after the 1659 treaty of the Pyrenees between Spain and France because the 30 years war didn't end in 1648 for Spain and France, the entire old burgundian realm had become undefendable for Spain and was actually only serving the interests of Holland and England as a nice free buffer zone for them and as contention of french expansion. And Spain after 1659, while nominally in charge and nominally participant in those wars, put the minimum effort and gave the least amount of fucks in fighting for what was afterall the interests of Holland and England at his expense. Which eventually led to and explains a lot about the end of the Spanish Habsburg dinasty and the proclamation of Phillipe d'Anjou as King of Spain in the war of Spanish Succession, iniatiating the Franco-Spanish dinastic Alliance.

Tbh these look all like slightly different ottoman clothing.

>mentioning Newton but not the great philosophical discoveries of Descartes and Spinoza
Pleb as fuck
Also Galileo formulated the laws of motion, he didn't discover gravity.

>implying anyone in history can even hold a candle to the achievements of Newton

yeah i guess ottoman officials dressed similarly to the rest of eastern europe at the time, the big difference is the turbans they wore

...

>tumblr
Almost...

Wow how did they manage to take this picture?

Both groups also liked furs in their clothing. I always thought it was steppe influence.

i was thinking something like that too, especially when it comes to the furry hats

>William of Orange invades England
>Sorry, Peer, but he was invited and it was a revolution not an invasion
Kek. He was invited to invade. Perfidious Albion's perfidy knows no bounds.

>this faggy high heels wearer
so he's an honorary anglo then?

yes it did, Cromwell ruled by decree

They even betray themselves

This is how the parliamentarians won the war

"Never trust an Orange" - Father of Johan de Witt
>1672 was a Dutch catastrophe

In the hysteria that followed the effortless invasion by an alliance of three countries, he and his brotherCornelis de Wittwere blamed and lynched in The Hague, whereafter rioters partially ate them. The rioters were never prosecuted,and historians have argued thatWilliam of Orangemay have incited them.

Fuck William of Orange.

Can i ask for a good book or podcast about english colonization of Northern America and the history of early 11 colonies and unification?

I need a good non blue pilled source on US history.

You are correct.
In order to distinct themselves from peasantry and cossacks, Polish nobles wewuzed about their supposed Sarmatian heritage. Sarmatians were ancient nomadic neighbours of Persians who migrated west, so Polish nobles were massive orientboos obssessed with Persian and Ottoman fashion and armaments. Hence the sabers, colorful robes, exotic furs, wacky hats and whatnot. Despite the conflicts between PLC and Ottoman Empire there was a degree of mutual respect between these peoples.
It's kind of ironic considering what happened later on to both of them.

Basically the Spanish getting cucked left and right. Also a perpetual state of proto-world war.

No, everything happened in the 17th century.
Everything that came to define the rest of history, began in the 17th century and ran it's course.