/SHITTING GENERAL/

I was hoping someone would make this thread. I'm trying to achieve a once daily, no wipe necessary (I'll still wipe to check, but ideally the paper would be clean) poop that comes out easily with no straining.

I have Metamucil (if it's successful I'll buy plain psyllium husk in bulk), oatmeal, chia and flax, and fiber one cereal. I read to increase your fiber intake slowly and that high fiber diets help lower bad cholesterol.

>shitting thread
I can get behind this.

Whom bidet master race here?

I don't have a bidet, but my friends have told me about how great they are. I already use wet wipes so i'm thinking of ordering a basic one to install in my toilet. Amazon has some for like $30-40.

Wet wipes are bad for your plumbing. A hot water bidet is life-changing. Absolutely go for it.

>blessing

Not exactly. It can be pretty awkward in social situations

holy shit this is me.
tho somehow my body can handle crackers. but other carbs fuck me up

See a doctor.
If it really is a IBD you could end up losing a decent length of bowel is its not kept in check with medication.

>500ml orange juice
>as much baby spinach as you can fit in
>blend
>chug

Makes it stinky though

>not just shaving your ass so you always have clean shits

has anyone actually tried this? I was thinking about getting that nair stuff for my balls but I could see myself using it on my booty

I shit 4 times a day OP. Be careful what you wish for.

When i take my Shakes, i shit twice a day

What does that mean?

Butt hairs stop liquid shits from running down your balls and down your ass cheek. Do not recommend for diarrhea.

I've heard Nair gives you chemical burns if you use it on your balls. I use an electric beard trimmer.

Never had that problem.

>See a doctor.
already did my colonoscopy/endoscopy ultrasound
ct scan. just have to check for crohns next. my doctor sucks ass those
just gives me ppi's and says 'hang in their bud"

I was like you. My GP's face when I told her once a week! That was when I was in primary school, my diet is far better now.

I was diagnosed by the military, I've seen the inside of my intestines. It's UC in particular. Prednisone did nothing, Lialda made it worse. I have visual confirmation that a low carb/high fat diet eliminates inflammation and reduces scaring from flares due to reducing my shit frequency. I would highly suggest anybody with UC do Keto.

Thanks for this suggestion. I feel like pork rinds will fill in that void of not having bread. I kill like fifty hogs a year so I'll try making pork rind squares to supplement sliced bread/biscuits.

You haven't gotten gassier or bloated from it?

this

when i was mostly raw vegan I was having really healthy shits

What do you guys think I should do?

I spend pretty much every moment of my day bloated as fuck, and totally unable to pass the gas or burp to relieve it..like I just can't get any cart out no matter how I contort my body or move, or laying down..nothing helps. I even wake up bloated as fuck even when I eat an early dinner.

I don't know what the fuck to do. Please send help.

Wish I would have known back then. By now, I've got a mean case of hemorrhoids.

My diet is much better now, too. But progress is still frustratingly slow.

Spent two weeks at 1700 Calories a day, (enough that I should lose 2lbs a week), but somehow managed to gain half a pound in all that time.

>cart
fart

Fucking autocorrect

not that i've noticed

depends on the brand tbqh
fermented foods are king tho

directed at

could be the sign of a hiatal hernia
buy a probiotic and eat some beans.

Eating beans makes it 100 times worse. I still don't let that gas out and I'll be the size of a fucking house.

I've had this problem for years, but has only been this horrible in the last few months.

tried probiotics also?
if not and you have insurance. fine a gastro ASAP

I used to be able to have nice poops everyday. Over the past couple of months I've been constipated, bloated, naseuas, have stomach pain, have mucus in my stool, and a host of other symptoms that have messed up completely my bowel movements, so I feel ya Op.

Try putting some icy hot on them. The icy shrinks them and the hot improves the blood flow making them go away. Icy hot is super cheap too a lot of other medicines are expensive and may not even work.

No probiotics yet, but eating kimchee and Greek yogurt or kefir hasn't done a fucking thing.

I feel like a doctor will just tell me to slow down my eating and a whole bunch of other stupid bullshit just so I can come back in two weeks.

I'm supposed to be insured through my job, but I think they fucked up my enrollment.

>eating kimchee and Greek yogurt or kefir hasn't done a fucking thing.
ehh all those things don't do shit unless u get organic or make it yourself
probiotics should work tho
i use this one amazon.com/Ultimate-Probiotic-Supplement-Vegetable-Capsules/dp/B005GRGCWM/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_sims?ie=UTF8
you can get cheaper at walmart. make sure to refrig it

>I feel like a doctor will just tell me to slow down my eating and a whole bunch of other stupid bullshit just so I can come back in two weeks.
if you make your problems not seem serious sure.
my grandpa always said. if you're pain is at 5 tell your doctor its a 9.

Fiber One bars and coffee. Never had more satisfying shits.

I wish I could drink coffee. I developed an extreme sensitivity to caffeine and even a sip of regular coffee and my heart rate jumps and I get anxious as fuck. Sometimes skipped beats too.

That particular brand? I remember taking a fancy multivitamin that included a probiotic and it fucked me up. Apparently there are different strains?

>tfw used to take 800mg a day and be asleep by 10
>now green tea fucks me up
FUCK YOU
BODY

>I remember taking a fancy multivitamin that included a probiotic and it fucked me up.
ehh i don't like messing with all in one craps. body can't handle it when you got too much shit going in you at the same time. most if it gets flushed out anyway.

>That particular brand?
for the price. its the best that works for me. the expensive ones work. but idk your budget.

>Apparently there are different strains?
yeah i hear some strains can fuck you up. don't like googling because you can find so many different sources of ppl saying each one messed them up. which creates phobia

What causes this? I had a similar thing happen with alcohol too, where I gradually couldn't hand that anymore either. If I have a pint, I spend the whole next day in bed with a racing heart and extreme anxiety...and when I ask the doctors they just say "must be nice saving money on not drinking lol". Like FUCK YOU, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I PAY FOR THIS BULLSHIT JUST TO GET NO ANSWERS?

There are flushable wet wipes designed exactly for plumbing.

Thanks man, I'll check it out after work

yeah np. just read reviews and check for yourself. if you hve prime you can always just make amazon give you a refund.

FIX YA DIET

if you wanna shit so bad, eat oranges until you cant eat anymore

you'll either throw up or poo yourself

I do have prime, but I'm so desperate for a solution that I'm willing to just buy some tonight at Wallyworld in person.

I'll let you in on a secret, flushable wet wipes will indeed flush down your toilet but they absolutely wreck the sewer - they don't break apart or degrade like toilet paper and essentially act like the foundation for fatbergs and other clogs. They are the bane of sewer workers everywhere. It won't stop you from using them but "designed for plumbing" is utter crap.

>if you're pain is at a 5 tell your doctor its a 9
Actual doctor here, please don't do this shit. First off, lying about your symptoms is fucking stupid and doesn't help us in diagnosing and treating you. Secondly, people fucking lie to us all the time. Usually they're seeking drugs, they want disability, they want time off from work, or whatever. We're used to it, and we can usually tell. It's annoying. It gets old really quick. Finally, once we realize you're lying to us, we don't take you seriously anymore. You lose credibility, and we don't really trust anything that comes out of your lying fucking mouth.
Don't lie to your fucking doctor.

I started eating more and drinking a lot of brotein shakes when I began lifting, ended up going from 1-2 shits a day to atleast 3, they're usually pretty soft too

Hey doc, how do I get taken seriously again after having admitted to having anxiety issues? Pretty much every fucking thing I go to any doctor for gets written off as anxiety for me, and they tell me to calm down, that's it.

1. Are you problems actually due to or exacerbated by your anxiety?

2. Don't go in like a sperg. Put on your cool face, and present yourself rationally and objectively.

I can't really help you without knowing more and actually seeing how your visits go. Your doc might be a dickweed, or it might kinda justified, or maybe a bit of both.

E G G S
G
G
S

>2l of water
only?

I tell them the issue, but then maybe I go too far in explaining how much it scares me ect. Like I had a heart arrhythmia and got it ablated two years ago, but I still very much live with the fear I had prior to the operation because so many things would trigger SVT episodes for me...so when I go in complaining it takes my heart way too long to go back to a slower pace after lifting, or that I'm getting skipped beats, I pretty much just get told to calm down. Honestly, I want a stress test, but they all assume I'm just an anxious freak and that's all that's wrong with me.

>Actual doctor here, please don't do this shit.
i understand if its kids wanting anxiety or the other shit you listed. but when it comes to stomach or gym related pain. you can fuck off with your "take some ibuprofen and rest shit"

i had to keep harrassing my gastro to let me take a food allergy test for my stomach problem. then i had to harass about him just giving me a ppi because i did my own research and found out after 14 days you aren't suppose to use them.
i can careless if you don't trust me. my health is important to me

I tried a bidet when I went to Croatia, friend of a friend knew someone at the hotel so we got hooked up, I was excited to try the bidet because I had been eating mostly cevapi and beer at that point, and it was... kinda disappointing.
Like, maybe it just takes practice, but man it was spattering water everywhere! I was wet from my waist to my mid-thigh, basically had to towel off after. Although I bet jerking it while shooting water at your dirt button feels great, maybe that's why Euroanons are always so chipper despite living in communist shitholes without central a/c and ice water.

I feel ya. Also, FUCK the faggot that fake their shit to get Xanax, Adderall, and Vicodin, they're the reason I don't get my worries taken seriously because they assume I just wanna get high.

Hmm, hadn't thought of that. Will try.

Though, note - my hemorrhoids are only ever even noticeable about once a year. I'm usually real good about not sitting wrong.

Some iron supplements make you constipated

Yo boys I wipe my ass but then I'll come back and wipe it again later and still find shit stains its FUCKING DISGUSTING I know so I need some tips on wiping
Also is waxing your rim a good idea

>BE ME
>SKELLY
>USED TO HAVE SHITS THAT WERE WELL FORMED AND HARDER AND WOULD ONLY NEED A WIPE MAYBE TWO TO CLEAN

>START DRINKING SHAKES
>JUST OATS, MILK, YOGURT, SOME POWDER, FRUIT AND PEANUT BUTTER
>SUDDENLY LITERALLY 2 HOURS AFTER HAVING ONE, START TO GET GAS AND HAVE TO SHIT BAD
>SHIT ONCE A DAY RIGHT ON TIME AT 8 AM
>THE SHIT IS ALWAYS MASSIVE
>IT'S A SOFT ONE THAT LEAVES RESIDUE ALL OVER MY ASSHOLE
>HAVE TO SPEND 10 MINUTES PATTING MY ASSHOLE, DABBING IT CLEAN, THEN GENTLY WIPING UNTIL IT'S CLEAN
>EVEN HAVE TO STICK FINGER UP ASS WITH TP TO GET THE TERROR INSIDE MY ASS FROM LEAKING OUT
>HAVE TO GO BACK AN HOUR LATER BECAUSE BROWN REAPPEARS AND HAVE TO REWIPE
>ASSHOLE IRRITATED AS FUCK
>ITCHY
>FUCKING HUMILIATING

FUCK YOU FIT SHAKES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE

You guys I have things about shit that I've always wanted to know that I'm hoping maybe you guys can help out with

1. How are guys with hairy assholes expected to get their assholes completely clean from wiping if the shit has all those hair particles to linger on?

2. What is a normal consistency of shit supposed to be like? I feel like the harder, really solid ones are the preferred method because they leave nothing behind after wiping, but adding fiber makes them "easier to pass" which should make them softer and therefore more liable to leave residue that can fuck up your wiping right?

3. When people talk about "eating ass" do they mean that they can just pull down the girl's pants who they pick up or their girlfriend's and start eating her ass when she hasn't even had a shower since that morning and it will taste like nothing? How is this possible? Or does 'eating ass" only happen after showers? Because I don't see how someone can go through an entire day with their asshole sweating and having shit during the day and have it be completely clean to eat

I know this feel. I underate horribly for the past few months due to ED, and now that I am consuming enough food I have went from never pooping to at least 3 tiny poops every day and the occasional big one.
I do run and drink lots of water but no coffee

Celery. Your poops will be plentiful and silky smooth.

I use my bidet to give myself an enema everyday. That's the only way I can poop.

let me fill you guys in a technique of the old masters that has been passed down in secret from generation to generation

>after you shit, don't wipe at all
>sit on the edge of the bathtub with your ass and balls fully hanging over the edge
>brace yourself with one arm, and use the other hand to thoroughly clean your ass with warm water from the bath faucet
>wash your hands well with soap and continue on with your day

if you have to shit away from home...may god have mercy on your soul

>Come back from holiday 2 weeks ago
>Nothing but shits all this week (5-7 times a day)
>Recently looked down and noticed blood and some sticky shit on my stool

I was thinking it might have been something bad I ate but now I'm getting worried.

see look this is what i dont understand about shitting, as ridiculous and disgusting as it is

what is a normal shit supposed to be like? i was under the impression that having the kind of shit where you need to be using a bidet and washing your asshole with soap and water (like how people say "always shit before you shower") and are worried about doing it away from home are not normal and like an indication of bad diet or something, and that most people have solid shits that take a wipe or two, no issues, so whenever i have one of those nastier shits i get pissed off

WHAT IS NORMAL

>be me
>eat beets often
>taste good
>good for you
>even help your hard ons and libido if you need it
>take purple shits every day

True story

>It only recently came to my attention that most people poo once a day.
Back when I had a genuinely awful diet, I'd shit maybe once every three days. Been eating significantly more fruit and vegetables and cut out most sources of excess sugars, and now I'm able to shit once a day. I still have no fucking clue what an average shit is supposed to be like.

This. I have the privilege of using a detachable shower head with multiple water settings, so I power-wash my ass just to make sure I'm clean. Not even joking, I suggest that everyone does this.

I have a hairy ass crack and no whipe all the time. Hit your macros.

I dont know what to do guys. I drink tons of water. For breakfast I either have oatmeal with a banana mixed in or bread and butter with eggs. I run 3 miles 3 times a week. I lift. My dinners always have vegetables in some capacity and most nights meat as well. I eat a lot of beans. I take a multivitamin.

Yet I only need to shit like every 3-4 days, twice a week at most. What the fuck is wrong with me? By the third day I feel sluggish because I know its just sitting in me

Isn't no pooping just a problem caused by eating too little?

Do you have bloating problems? Do you gain weight easily? Your metabolism may be slow in general, with those digestive systems just being sluggish.

Get cold easily too? Could be hypoglycemia. I have suspicions of having it myself.

I only look more round after eating. But later once it goes down and digests, I can see my abs again. Im only 130lb. I dont gain weight easy no, I thought was because of a fast metabolism?

I do actually get colder than any of my family...how strange, i will have to look into hypoglecimia. Ive never eaten very much, i havent counted calories in a while but i used to average like 1500 a day. What i posted i eat, thats pretty much what i eat every day. Breakfast then dinner, if i want a snack then some fruit or beans. I kind of want to try just eating a lot more than i normally do for a week and see if i shit more. But then i dont want to expand my stomach, get really addicted to carbs, and lose my abs...what an embarrassing problem we have in this thread, i hate it.

Better than me, I'm:

Thats terrible man, i dont burp or fart either. Its like someone shoved a corkscrew up our ass and the intenstines just quit. Its funny, i thought starting to exercise and eat better would increase the shitting frequency but it seems to have only added an extra day...maybe ill just go eat a bag of chips and get fast food and pizza every day this week.

I've found that prune juice helps a bit, and doesn't taste too bad. Also bought a probiotic on my way home from work and am still bloated as fuck, but I am darting now which feels great.

I guess we should both go to gastros. I feel like my digestive system working right would fix all my issues. One of the really shitty parts is I almost never get hungry no matter how active I am. When I finally do feel hungry, I almost like not eating just so I can enjoy the feeling longer...I get pissed at all the normies that always get to say "I'm starving!" when I almost never want to eat. I tend to eat just because I know I should, and I like the taste.

>darting
farting

MORE

FIBRE

I just got like 110% DV of fiber and had a cup of orange juice. Had 2 servings of fiber one cereal. On top of the burrito i had earlier. Lets see if i feel anything...or should i eat more Veeky Forums?

Besides the things mentioned in this thread, I wanted to point out that it is the presence of fats (not protein or carbs) in the stomach that triggers to colon to move. Don't know if you're avoiding fats or anything, but try some 'bullet proof' coffee (black coffee plus butter and or coconut oil) and see if your colon doesn't hit eject.

Since 4th of july is in 2 days, are you saying I should just have a ton of sausage, cholestrol and sodium be damned? And until then, what if i only ate peanut butter sandwiches and nuts? Tons of fat right there

I was more saying that if you've been avoiding fats, it could stop you up. But if you're not, you may just have a slow digestion (count your blessings).

Also:
>2017
>believing dietary cholesterol affects blood cholesterol
>shiggydiggy

I guess i have stopped. Is any and all fats good? Cheese, meat, nuts, oils, butter? Doesnt dietary cholestrol affect like 30% of total cholestrol?

Have you had your cholesterol tested (ie, a blood draw taken while you were fasting) and have it come back high? Chances are if you're less than 35-ish yo your current cholesterol will be all genetics.

> Is any and all fats good?
Depends who you ask, the science itself is shitty since a lot of food/health studies rely on 1) self-reporting and 2) binning foods into general categories (ie, McDonalds hamburger falls into 'protein' when obviously there is more dimensionality to it than that).

That said, eat the fat of 'healthy' animals (these days probably only 'free range' come close), saturated fat is fine, avoid the oils from plant seeds (canola, sunflower, etc), avoid carbs cooked in fats (breaded meats fried in oil, or baked goods like pastries which are dough + butter). No evidence for the last part but it seems like all unhealthy fucks love their fried carbs.

When you feel sluggish because you haven't taken a shit in x days, do you also imagine to smell like crap?

nigga stop posting please
amazon.com/ButtValet-Premium-Flushable-Unscented-Stylish/dp/B06Y28QQLD?SubscriptionId=AKIAILSHYYTFIVPWUY6Q&tag=duckduckgo-ffcm-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B06Y28QQLD

Fiber

More fibre in your diet
>My metabolism is slow as hell
Lift more

Isn't fiber just for harder shits good and not in general when you simply can't?

Are those long great beans good or the ones you use for chili?

A coffee and some ritalin in the morning make me dump ass.