Tfw 31 year old kv

where are u from? lets crack open a cold one

I'm 30 next year

But either way I have a lot going for me, won't let my age bring me down and I'll just keep trying

Nothing wrong with dating someone 5-6 years younger than you at all

My issues are more serious than kv or aything like that

Not a virgin, not kiss less, had friends once and a life

Things just turned out a way and I have to relearn how to live normally

sure, if you want mongoloid kids. After as early as the mid 20s the reproductive quality of females starts dropping. Same for men in the late 30s. If you actually think "settling down" at fucking 40 is ideal you're either 17 or a retard. No wonder we have such a surge in autism, people like you try to compensate for their shitty teenage years and bring a genetic defunct into the world

menshealth.com/health/age-and-risks-of-fathering-a-child

google jordan peterson self authoring, watch the videos on it and do the program

Here is the most important aspect of the course, the 'future authoring'
pastebin.com/BiFE2fUX

Read books about leadership and communication
There's no easy solution, you've got to improve

I recommend 7 habits of highly effective people to start things off

Im the same as you

Come home from work and dont go out, in front of PC , very sad for me :)

If you knowingly bring children into this world without the means to provide for an elite education from preschool through post-graduate studies you're a knuckle-dragging dipshit, likely brown as well.
The AVERAGE kid costs near $230,000 from birth to the age of 17. If you don't want to condemn them to being some middle class piece of shit you should have more than that saved. If I have a kid I'll marry young, I'm not worried. There's nothing respectable about having kids young and raising them when you have little to no perspective on life yourself. Fucked up parents lead to fucked up people, Veeky Forums is the perfect example.

i'm from Toronto, but i'm autistic

thanks, but i'm not sure the best strategy to achieve my goals are (Step 2). the specific steps I should follow to improve my social skills and get friends

thanks for the advice

>tfw 31 year old kv
It's over for you old man. Sorry, but your generation is not relevant anymore

In simple words

You become a people person by dealing with people, some people are gifted, charismatic and have the looks/the demeanor that makes them very sociable, some become good with people by being around and dealing with people.

You meet people, make new friends and acquaintances by being around people, being friendly not creepy, saying hello and starting conversations.

Be it college, school, a night class or some course, the gym, work, just make a quip or a joke about something relevant, some small talk, say hi and introduce yourself, as long as the person you're talking to isn't a complete dick, isn't engaging in something and you're not interrupting everything will go smoothly.

Wanting friends and a gf while sitting on your ass is like wanting to find gold without digging, you've got to socialize and be likeable, you've got to make acquaintances and transform those into friendships.

Also there are a lot of books about how to handle and hold a conversation, even more about how to make small talk, I really recommend glossing over them if not for the benefits for the knowledge.

Also these are just words and if you've made it this far a an autistic kv it's unlikely you'll change unless you force yourself to, just like you did working out.

>toronto

You bring shame to my city

ok sauce

thanks for the advice
>just make a quip or a joke about something relevant,
i don't know any jokes though, or anything relevant to add

most of the time, when i talk to coworkers, they all have something going on in their lives, and relevant stories, while i have nothing to contribute myself

coworkers generally talk about travel, sports, parties and events they've been to or are going to
very few people have hobbies, and most of their free time is spent getting together with friends to eat or drink. most of their discussions involve something happening at a party. actual quote from the most popular guy at my work:
>i sent a snap to our boss from my house party at 3am on a sunday XD
because i have no friends, i have no party stories

the city is shame with or without me tbqh

Go to church, faggot. People will go out of their way to talk to you and engage you. Learn to have a conversation there and maybe if nothing else take some moral lessons. Once you aren't afraid of talking to people (including girls) get into something non-church and fucking contribute. It's not hard to check the front page of the news/sports page for five relevant items to talk about.

Enough of the poor me shit.

my dick demands sauce of this asian whore please

Sauce for the love of god. Let it redeem you for bringing this /r9k/ bullshit to Veeky Forums

People like you are the reason whites will be a minority in white countries soon.

You're a fucking idiot if you think you should only ever have kids if you can provide private education and all that rich people shit.

If everyone had your retarded idea nobody would ever have kids until they're in their late 30s, 40s and 50s, not to mention if everyone actually did that all it would do is make private school cost $2,300,000 instead of $230,000.

Just be friendly and try to have conversations. That probably sounds hard since you said you can't hold a conversation but that's the only option.

Try to find something to relate to with ur co-workers like a tv show or someshit. That will help keep the conversation going

Be honest man, would you want to be friends with a guy who can't hold eye contact, hold the simplest convo, has a strange bodylanguage and who has absolutely nothing to add to a discussion that's not about the job? Is that likeable?

Do you even like any people or find them ikteresting? My guess is that you don't. Yeah it's sometimes less, sometimes more awkward and a kind of stress for all of us, but normal people enjoy this shit to a varying degree. It's not a series of techniques (to a certain degree it is) to be social, if you can't enjoy people and their company at all you fail with all of them.

found this one:
instagram.com/taeri__taeri/?hl=en

Get a hobby like bouldering or join dancing classes.

>implying it is possible to bring shame to that pisshole

>all that makeup
>contact lenses to make eyes bigger
>probably had plastic surgery
really makes me think

>In simple words
>You become a people person by dealing with people, some people are gifted, charismatic and have the looks/the demeanor that makes them very sociable, some become good with people by being around and dealing with people.
>You meet people, make new friends and acquaintances by being around people, being friendly not creepy, saying hello and starting conversations.
>Be it college, school, a night class or some course, the gym, work, just make a quip or a joke about something relevant, some small talk, say hi and introduce yourself, as long as the person you're talking to isn't a complete dick, isn't engaging in something and you're not interrupting everything will go smoothly.
>Wanting friends and a gf while sitting on your ass is like wanting to find gold without digging, you've got to socialize and be likeable, you've got to make acquaintances and transform those into friendships.
>Also there are a lot of books about how to handle and hold a conversation, even more about how to make small talk, I really recommend glossing over them if not for the benefits for the knowledge.
>Also these are just words and if you've made it this far a an autistic kv it's unlikely you'll change unless you force yourself to, just like you did working out

what do you mean probably

it is clearly, she looks like a gangnam girl

who cares - gief sauce

thanks

>Is that likeable?
no, but how do i change?
i can hold eye contact, and my body language is okay. but what is the best way for me to add to a discussion?

>Do you even like any people or find them ikteresting?
i like people, but they are more interesting than me in general, and i don't know what to say at all in conversations. it seems most people have a story to tell that is relevant to a discussion

i've tried bouldering, but i really lack cardio and get winded after 20 minutes. want to try it again though

what the fuck is wrong with you.

Watch tv shows etc and watch how people interact, you'll soon understand what is acceptable and not to say.

Then you practice this with strangers, eventually talking to people will become natural and you'll be able to be social with your co-workers.

>Saving up this much money 2 decades before you need it
Is this actually how 12 year olds think finance works? I don't remember being this retarded as a kid

What is a dating site?
What is a hobby?
What is leaving the house?

You're financially irresponsible and shit at planning. Couple the expenses of a child with any debt you may have and retirement savings. Considering your lack of foresight you have no business bringing children into the world. Disregard what I wrote if you're not American.

If you want friends find a local club where you won't feel like too much of a retard, like chess or something. If you don't know how to play go and ask them to teach you, and maybe you'll make some friends

Did you wait to have the full cost of a house before buying? Did you wait to buy your car with cash?

most tv shows don't have casual conversations

it's mostly about a topic the characters know about, like a mutual friend and something they did or are dealing with. or the conversations are usually story and event based. in seinfeld, they tell stories of situations they are dealing with to each other and make jokes off of it

>What is a dating site?
i'm ugly and live with my parents though. and there are many profiles which say to only contact the girl if you can keep a conversation, or if you're not socially awkward

>What is a hobby?
i don't have any, i do want to try these ones though >What is leaving the house?
and go where? if i had a reason to leave the house, i would

haven't played in a long time, i don't think i'll ever be good at it tbqh
any other examples of clubs? i do like the bouldering and dance suggestion provided earlier though

I put down a substantially higher percentage on my home than the average. My city has world class public transport so I don't own a car. Perhaps you have a higher risk tolerance than I do, which is fine.
There's no need to vilify people who don't want their kids attending mediocre public schools because you rushed into having children. You should be able to offer your kids the most advantageous upbringing money can buy.

maybe you're single cuz you fap to asians who've been plastic surgeried to hell and back

>tfw you know nothing about being an adult

Just pretend you have a child and everything you do will be imprinted in his brain and you HAVE to behave responsibly.

This book is NOT a meme
Read it!
Understand it!
You must be proactive
You must be more alpha
You must make the first move

Just today I respectfully complimented two different 8/10 QTs at the gym who I see there all the time about their amazing progress - they ate that shit UP!

>Me: granddad-mode 48 year old married fatso 5/10 face 6/10 body who is at the gym 5 days a week putting in my best effort.

All this "autism" bullshit is just shitty self-confidence and negative body image created by the trolls on this site - STOP IT NOW!

>don't own a car
Irrelevant

>vilify
I never did. I called you retarded which is hardly the same thing

>mediocre public schools
Some of the best universities in the world are public.

>I rushed into having children
Huh?

Your kids don't need the most expensive education in the world just to be happy.

...

Actually great advice. Church probably the only place the regulars eagerly force conversation with ANYONE new.

i bet you jack off way too much. the way you're posting gooks everywhere, there is your problem.

It's a cliche answer, but the best thing to do is probably to join a club or a sports team.
> Something to go to that will get you out of the house
> Group of people who are there for a set amount of time and basically have to talk to you
> You have something to talk about with them (i.e. the activity)
> Same people there every week so you can build up relationships
> It's at a set time and place so if you are super awkward you could prepare some topics or questions before
> If you are the only new person, those already in the club will likely be quite welcoming and eager to get to know you

Lots of reasons for it being the best place to start

>relearn how to live normally
I just cant seem to care about anything people are talking about. When I do (I promise I try) its all fake, how do i come back to society?

>Most people with any promising career don't settle down until their 40s
>there are people RIGHT NOW on Veeky Forums who actually belive this
If you're not settled down you can leave the company on a whim at any time. You're never going to make partner if you're not willing to commit.

Yeah, women in their 40s are great at starting families.

Kys, seriously.

It is VERY important to ask questions about them. Where they have studied, worked, hobbies, normie shit in general. Look them in the eyes. Always smile or have a positive attitude. Pretend whatever they are saying is the most important thing in the world. Say something about yourself every once in a while, but keep it short and normal. Pretend you're a normie and do normie stuff.

Also, talk abou the gym. Many dudes go to the gym.

thanks

i don't fap too much, about every 2-3 days
i've tried nofap for 30 days, didn't do much tbqh

thanks, any good club recommendations? i'm not very good at sports

thanks, but i ask those questions, and i haven't really made any friends
i know about a few of my coworkers families, school, hobbies, etc., and i have a good memory, but what do i do now once i know all that stuff?

i just ask people about their weekend basically

>thanks, but i ask those questions, and i haven't really made any friends
>i know about a few of my coworkers families, school, hobbies, etc., and i have a good memory, but what do i do now once i know all that stuff?
>i just ask people about their weekend basically
How do you ask it? You have to ask casually, not like a detective. And once you have the answer, talk about it. If they like rock climbing, ask them how they got into it, pretend it's hard work
>"wow you rock climb? That must be hard man. Isn't a bit risky too?"

Just improve yourself dumbass. Learn things, become interesting. Learn about cars, space, cooking, politics, commerce, animals, any science, anthropology, archeology, history, ANYTHING. The more you learn the more you have to talk about. Form opinions, share ideas, just fucking have SOMETHING to talk about, that's what everyone else does. The reason you don't have friends is because you're stupider than everyone else, SO LEARN SHIT. BECOME SMARTER. IMPROVE YOURSELF ITS NOT FUCKING HARD.

youtube.com/watch?v=dkInSr6ZhR0

gate crash parties with frozen groceries.

PRO TIP: women don't like men who post plastic gooks on 4chin

Probably a symptom and not a cause

Yea people should have kids at thirty while they make 60k a year and little to no retirement because they buy McDonald's every night right you stupid cunt? If you got out of your room you would realize how the average "middle class" American struggles with the basics

I dunno OP. I tried improving my social skills and general humanity by joining martial arts. What happened was everyone ignored me outside of the time they were beating me up. One guy even laughed at me getting a bloody nose.

You don't need to be invited places to go places.

What do you like? Do you do anything you like in life? If you go out do things you like you might find others who like the same things.

Watch every film in the mcu 5 times each and memorise their quips. Also watch the whole of the Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother twice through.
Learn how they respond to each other, the intonation of their voices when they tell a story, the verbal jabs they make at each other etc

Basically become a sitcom character
If you ever do something really awkward, learn to play it off as a joke and then never reference it again

Hi yeinssi

>believing this

I think this the worst possible advice you can give to a person try to fit in with real life human beings.

>how do i get a gf?
You don't.

Your stock is literally -ZERO-

Make yourself more marketable. Otherwise, hope for a good respawn.

Sorry.

>starting a family in your 40s
>being in your 60s when your oldest kid graduates high school

Pathetic-tier.

I can't form friendships because my brain automatically deconstructs everything to analyze it and so I can't commit to anything because everything seems absurd to me.

I don't know how I got this way but I remember the feelings, before my powers developed, of finding myself in a situation, suddenly realizing how absurd it was, and being trapped with no escape.

Most people think I'm flakey, shady, sketchy, whatever. Really I'm just keeping my distance because I know if I let them get close to me either they'll hurt me or I'll hurt them.

I don't really want to live like this but no one has ever shown me how to get past that hurt and I don't think anyone ever will.

>Google local ballroom dance studios
>Browse local studios, most of them offer free lessons
>Find one with a beautiful instructor to learn from
>It wont be hard to do, most dancers have amazing bodies and are reasonably attractive
>Ask them to teach you one of the following
>Salsa/Swing/Bachata/Lindy Hop/Tango
>Attend class once or twice a week
>Meet other students

In doing this you:
>develop a hobby that is of actual social value.
>acquire confidence by frequent intimate physical contact with a beautiful woman
>learn to communicate with beautiful woman comfortably
>break your own mold by getting outside of your comfort zone

You will feel awkward at first. You will feel uncomfortable. However, in time you will develop confidence. Your instructor will teach you how to dance, which is in itself a highly valuable social skill to have. You will also learn incredible posture which will help you LOOK confident even when you dont feel like it.

Trust me, take lessons for 1 year. If it doesn't change your life - all you've lost is time you would have been wasting away on your computer anyways.

Sorry for being late OP and i didnt read the whole thread... There is one single thing that i can advise you to do and that is to face yourself and your fears. It sounds cheesy and all but if you want to move forward you should talk to yourself and let pain teach you. Best of luck my friend

...

21 here and I can see myself on your shoes. Everytime I try to make friends/get a gf they're always too busy to hang out. Hardly have the desire to workout anymore

is this the power of autism?

Is this diagram implying that I need to curve my dick at a 90 degree angle in order to penetrate her uterus?

How do you give compliments without being creepy?

be attractive

Let people do whatever they want. Why the hell do you care so much?

Chad's don't post on Vietnamese dog breading forums mayn. none of us are chads

don't give compliments. joke around and tease. friendly banter is always better than compliments. when you do give compliments, they should be surprised you said that, because you rarely give them, and they will appreciate it more.

>elite education
you just went full retard. unless you get some crazy scholarship you should get a real degree (not psychology/gender studies/theater) from the state university. in california you can go to community college for next to nothing for two years then transfer to a four year and get your degree all-in for about 50 grand.

or you can go to trade school/apprentice/get an AA degree and work your way up in a field. the truth is, 80% of current college students have no business being there.

>joke around and tease. friendly banter is always better than compliments.
how do i joke around and tease?

You've been watching way too much hentai, you're not supposed to actually do that.

i'm afraid there is little help. if you can't think of anything funny at the time, don't force it. some people just don't have the wits. don't try to overcomplicate it. if something funny comes to your mind, feel free to say it. don't ever, ever give a fuck what people think about you. that is very important. it is the only way to come across as someone confident. so if you really are awkward, just embrace it. be fucking awkward and people who know you will get used to it. it will make you free. you will start to feel like yourself. then maybe you will some day not be awkward at all. you will say your lines in a way people won't feel uncomfortable. delivery is key. until you don't give a fuck and act naturally, you will always come across as weird. in conclusion, when people say "just bee yourself", it is actually good advice, regardless of your looks. if you look like a trash can, there is nothing you can do about it except dress nice, smell nice and look clean. but one thing is sure, you can still be one funny, charismatic, ugly fucker. good luck faggot

I've lost jobs trying to do this. I always get a call from HR, and then terminated for harassment.

fuck you really must be awkward. you clearly didn't make it. the lesson is you didn't make it sound like banter. normally if you say shit like "i'd like to rape you" you would have to be a banter god who is talking to a banter goddess, otherwise it will sound like harassment 99% of time. you should practice on people you know well, because you can act more freely with them. you will see what goes and what doesn't and learn how people react to your body language and lines.

thanks for the advice

thanks

most people i know, don't have anything they like that they do by themselves. they always do something with friends
>sports game
>going to a bar
>dinner with friends
>escape rooms, movies, concerts with their friends
so it's hard to find examples of things i can do alone

only ones i know of, are some of my female coworkers take yoga classes alone

>Maybe if you're from a third world country or some flyover piece of shit state. Most people with any promising career don't settle down until their 40s

Are you retarded?

Even in like NYC average age at first marriage is 31 or something.

My thoughts:

Focus on getting a group of guy friends before gf, this way you'll be more well rounded - the girl won't be your entire life.
Find a group on meetup that you're interested in. meetup.com/

Consider volunteering or just generally spending more time outside of the house - hiking, going to book stores, I wouldn't recommend bars.