So many people on Veeky Forums seem to struggle socially and hope that getting big will help them overcome their lack...

My future career forces me to be social, so I can't be autistic or else I won't be in the industry for long.

Also, Veeky Forums is full of social rejects, just like most of this site

Hey dumbasses ITT: You can't lift your autism away

Holding conversation can be a little hard if you're not properly paying attention. The best way to hold a conversation is to pay attention to what the other person is saying, and ask related questions to whatever they're talking about. This works for both sexes. For women it shows you're attentive. For men it shows that you can grasp the concepts they're putting forward. If you have some knowledge about what they're talking about, that gives you some time to speak for a couple of minutes, but it doesn't hurt to pose questions to the other person if it's a topic both of you know things about.

Read things, anything. Sometimes you can get by with the "day to day" conversation topics, but sometimes it can be fun to "go deep" and talk about something heavy, or complex, just make sure you keep a light positive spin on it, so the other doesn't want to disengage. The questions you should be responding with should be engaging questions.

I've been used and abused in the worst ways possible

I want to be alone and rebuild my friendships a different way

I used to have a lot of friends, but I'm learning that the problem isn't really in one person or in us it is usually everyone else.. We are all fucked up

I want to be alone because I don't trust people anymore, if and when I do find some friends they will have to take some time to get to know me, I really have trust issues rather no social issues

If I stay here wil i become autistic?

Should I run away as fast as I can?

Yes, you will become a jaded autist. Leave while you can. Or at visit boards that aren't full of self loathing queers

I've thought long and hard about this, and the reason is that I'm too judgmental. I have an intrinsic need to feel superior to people. It might be because I'm a turbo manlet (5') but I think its more likely because my father would constantly brag to other people about my academic accomplishments but never actually say anything to me. I don't blame my father for my shortcomings though (literally and figuratively) the guy worked hard his whole life to put food on the table and made sure we never wanted for anything (even if we were a little on the poor side).

But it is what it is. I can't interact with someone without judging them, I'll either feel bad because I think I'm better than them or feel bad because I think they're better than me. I've turned into a pathological liar because of this, trying to maintain some kind of farcical air of sophistication, when in reality I'm just a poor immigrant's son that doesn't know much of anything.

I'm trying to get better though. I'm trying to be more honest and more humble. I'm trying to judge people (including myself) less. One thing that's helped is meditation, another is focusing your attention through negative thoughts toward positive ones (which meditation helps with). But it's slow going.

I think I might start volunteering somewhere, maybe that will help too. I don't know.

...

Most of us have trouble talking to people because we're ugly dudes with little to no social interaction irl.

We're basically the virgin walk dude facially and socially except with some muscles.

Nah I'm in a fraternity and go out with friends almost every night.

I lift so when girls come over to a frat party and want to get with me I can reject them(to fuel my narcissism of course) and fap to anime titties instead.

Still looking for a qt innocent gf. girls that go to frats are trash

Savior of western civilization

They like things I don't like, and they also don't understand things in general, like how I'm better than them. I have no problems interacting with people who have to pass intelligence filters (like with graduate students), but interacting with normies is a chore, for they all feel like children, intellectually.

...

I literally have no interest in what they have to say, so I don't ask questions. I let them ask away and after a while just sit there.

What fraternity?

You need therapy.

This thread has taught me that a lot of the autists on Veeky Forums aren't actually autistic they're just damaged good and can probably learn to function with some professional help.

Some, tho, are truly autistic.

I can be a pretty social guy during the school year; I have a large pool of friends and people who respect me and I go out every other weekend; on surface level I'm a normie. But when it comes to things like developing meaningful friendships and relationships I simply can't. I barely have a friend group that I call my main friend group and spend all my time with (like most normies do) and overall if I weren't forced to be around other people due to uni I would have no friends at all. I never learned how to set up plans to hang out or how to text people casually so it's hard for me to maintain friendships and I always feel too awkward and pushy to try

I find it hard to engage in small talk or make bullshit conversation. What is there to talk about? I just really can't wrap my head around it, it feels like a huge waste of time and energy. But you need it to get to know people better, so I don't ever connect with most of the people i meet. As a result, I come across as distant and a little off putting, so I'm not the first person people call for a party. Meh. I don't lose sleep over it.

It takes approximately 1 week to atrophy,

How do I find an older male mentor?

My father passed away when I was toddler and my mom passed away two months ago.

I'm 19 years old and I have no family here in USA anymore. I'm living in the university dorms now. i have some one very close friend, but I don't like opening up about emotions.

I realize this is probably very unhealthy and I don't really have any older person to turn to for guidance. How can I find someone for this?

I don't want to go to a shrink. I don't trust them.

People have always been mean to me for no reason entire life, always the person people make fun of and never take seriously, always the person who gets told off for getting mad when people push me too far (relax it's just a joke brah) meanwhile if they were the ones coping it like I do they'd react in the same way and not get told off for reacting, meanwhile I'm not even allowed to react.

This experience all my life basically turned me into a friendless shutin. I am 30 now, been this way for years.

Only ever leave the house to go to the gym or go to my psychologist. Yes I am on disability, literally developed mental disorders from the way I was treated by other people all my life.

>Tell me your problems, and we will try to tackle them together.

I worry about making an ass out of myself and overthink after talking to anyone. Like if I said something that offended them, if they took something I said the wrong way, do they think I'm boring, etc.

I'm a 25 year old kissless virgin shut-in who hasn't had friends since I was 13

My biggest problem is that I'm not only ugly as fuck, but I'm also really weird and have ADD. While i have always been able to make people laugh really easily, eventually I just become too weird or loud/annoying/obnoxious to make people want to stand me.

And then when I try to stop myself from being annoying, I basically revert back into a shell and people start asking me if I'm sick, if I'm feeling okay, etc.

And because I repel people away from me, I end up with no friends, which means I can't meet girls, which then means that I don't gain social experiences and then I'm too afraid to try to get to know people because then my shut-in friendless permavirginity will be exposed to others, even though I am 100% sure that anyone i ever meet probably knows I'm a friendless virgin autist, so it creates a vicious cycle.

Even when I was in college, my roommates seemed to like me, and they would invite me to stuff with their friends, and they seemed to like me, but if I wasn't with my roommates we would never talk, and after leaving school I literally never talked to any of them again. So even when people seem to like me, they actually don't

I fully recognize that I'm a sarcastic jaded asshole. But the problem is that I've been like this for so long that even when I try to not be an asshole I just look sarcastic. I always have to try to make some one-liner observational humor comment, and when I do it usually gets laughs, but that's about it.

I actually relate pretty closely to comedians, especially Bill Burr, who has said stories about his past that I did as well, word for word, and have been told multiple times I should be a stand up comedian. But even those jaded assholes still have friends and meet girls.

Sorry about your loss user. Try going to your local pastor, they're always there to help you out. I'll be praying for you bro.

Bro I fuckin feel this shit so hard.
I joined the Army (ROTC - pays for college too), a research lab, and work for a company under a guy who is doing exactly what I want to do in life.

Don't be a dipshit like me and do all three. But if you want a mentor, you'll get one in any of those places. The best mentors, though, are old philosophers (srs) read some stirner, Nietszche, or some stoicism.

my issue was coming on too strong when meeting new people and taking things too literally. eventually just got used to it after meeting lots of new people and began to actually make friends.
i attribute it to being poorly socialized in my early teen years and holing up in my room for days playing video games. maybe someone can relate in that regard.

what do you need to be mentored over?

my dad's still around but he gave me really shitty advice. Veeky Forums helped me tremendously though. you just have to know where to look and who to ask on here.

Ever since I started working full time out of college I have no real desire to socialize.

I still play vidya every weekend with my brother and former college room mate and will occasionally hang out with guys from work, but other than that, nothing.

I've never had a gf and honestly debate not the fact if I should or shouldn't, but if I would even want a gf at this point. I'm so comfortable by myself that I think a gf would hinder that.

I have no difficulty getting people to like me after chatting for a while but my problem is that i'm super self concious. I still have some acne, not as bad as it used to be, but because of it I always avoided social gatherings. I just feel that i'm not the best person i can be and i'll only stop being self concious once it completely goes away

I just flat out hate talking to people I don't know. I could talk all day with the people I'm close with but I just try to get out of any conversation with anyone I don't know. I'll try not to be rude (which sucks because that can prolong a conversation) but all I think about is just getting away from someone.

>I never learned how to set up plans to hang out or how to text people casually so it's hard for me to maintain friendships and I always feel too awkward and pushy to try
With this I can relate.

>What is there to talk about?
Look at it this way: You don't know what you can gain from interacting with person A. Therefore, you need to interact with A, in order to find out.

From there it goes either of two ways: Either there is potential or there is no potential.

The root of it is because I don't think I'm taken seriously by anybody. I don't approach women because I think they'll reject me, and I don't strike up conversations with people because I don't think they want to talk to me by default.

Part of that is from growing up with older siblings. Another part is because I was friends with a lot of shitty people who had insecurities themselves, and always tried to act superior to me in some way. You know those nerds who think they're smarter than everyone, the guys that try to one-up you on everything, or the guys that flaunt the fancy shit their dad bought them? Those kind of people stuck to me like flies on shit. I kind of developed an inferiority complex early on, and although I understand why I SHOULDN'T have one, that doesn't necessarily fix the damage. For a while, I adopted this persona where I didn't take myself seriously, always joking around and never having serious conversations with most people. Just a defense mechanism I guess.

I don't like to blame my problems on others, but you're the product of the people you spend the most time with. If you surround yourself with toxic people, it negatively affects you in many ways.

The positive of this is that I strive for self-improvement in many areas of my life. But I never build confidence from my successes, and never develop great social skills, because that requires you to make good first impressions and put yourself out there.

I accidentally came in a graduate level course.
That image reminded me.

story pls

Bros how do you end a text convo with a girl? People always say "don't be the last one responding" but sometimes the last thing she said doesn't seem like something you'd leave hanging.

i came in my pants during my first ever college midterm

to add I just ended a conversation with a girl by telling her good night and she's probably not gonna open it until tomorrow morning.

>my problem is I just don't know what things to say like when it's just me and the one person; like I guess I over think it

iktf, I feel like the conversations I have are almost always better with a 3rd person than 1 on 1. Then it makes me wonder if I'm just a shitty conversationalist when alone with someone.

I do fairly well on the fly. Unfortunately if i genuinely want to create a friendship with someone i try too hard and sperg out. As such people who i am indifferent to like me, people who i like think im a fucking sperg

>hobbies are animu, vidya, and Veeky Forums
>outside of small talk I can't care at all about social media/e-celeb drama
>go to anime, game, and comic conventions
>try to talk to qts only to find they already have bfs.

I wouldn't mind a Veeky Forums cosplay gf that I can talk about OPM with.

>try to talk to qts only to find they already have bfs.

Story of my life. My friends call me a "homewrecker" because of my long streaks of hitting on girls that aren't single.

permavirgin never asked a girl on a date here

how are you supposed to even know if a girl has a bf? it seems like pretty much all girls nowadays do

feels like there should be a type of small ring a girl puts on her finger if she has a bf

I have three friends. That's it.

Most people piss me the fuck off. I hate libruls, I hate republicunts. There's no common ground anyone is willing to cede.

I hate getting drunk, I loathe stoners, I despise lazy people and I'm sick and tired of women.

My best friend in the whole world I've known since the first day of kindergarten class. On our first day we made home made playdoh two at a time with one of the teachers. She picked the two of us first and we both wanted to make blue playdoh. We've been inseperable ever since. Except for a year when he went loopy after admitting he was gay and had a crush on me. Saw a bully picking on him in highschool after he came out. Got my first and only arrest after school. Put that fucker in the hospital for a week and his nose never sat straight again. Didn't let me sign his cast either that pretentious cunt. My right big toe is still fucked up from breaking it on his face.

Second friend I met at my first job. Both Veeky Forumsizens. He's a fag too.

Third friend I met at the gay bar when I was there with my other two friends while they were briefly dating. Third guy we spent four hours talking about Battlestar Gallactica.

I'm pretty sure I fall on the spectrum.

This. And if you are going to an event (business or personal), it helps to read up on the topics that are most likely going to come up in conversation. For example, read about a companies recent actions if you are going to meet people from that company or Facebook creep on a few party attendees and casually drop similar interests; but don't come off as a expert, more if an inquiring mind.

I'm not gonna make it

I started roiding. I realized I need to blast and cruise for the rest of my life because now know what it feels like to not be low T anymore.
I still can't make decent gains because I'm 16-17% bodyfat with slight pre-existing gyno.

Two weekends ago I went to a festival and did copious amounts of drugs. Ket, LSD, DMT, MDMA, etc. 2nd day of festival I almost overdosed on molly and could feel my body start to convulse here and there. My jaw was crazy tight and I could not talk without stuttering like mad. I'm lucky I stayed sitting away from everything during the peak of it.

But the MDMA made me realize just how unhappy I am with my life and myself. I got so accustomed to this clinical depression I had since I was 13 years old that I forgot what it felt like to feel wanted, liked, and happy. Actual happiness.
Now It has been 8 days and I'm honestly considering killing myself. I'm a dyel who started taking roids who is now starting to develop a drug dependency.

Either I kill myself now, or the shit I put into my body will eventually kill me after a while.

But yeah other than that I'm okay I guess

Go to bed John.

No problems in talking to other people, I just don't have any stories to tell because my life and job are boring as fuck. But still I'm a great listener.

Fuck you Stephen I'll go to bed when I want.

>Sometimes they stare at my big nose too
how big is it

Hmm. I wouldn't say I'm bad socially. Once I can make the initial contact and break the ice I'm good after that. I make jokes and get them laughing. I just don't have the confidence to ask them out. Funny thing is when I'm lifting I tell myself "You're fucking elite." To hype myself up it works during a big lift and I'm honestly starting to believe it. Anyways back to the girls. I broke the ice with a gym qt a while ago we speak mostly about Olympic weightlifting cause she see's me doing them and she's interested in them too. So we're kinda both learning together at my pace. She's nice to talk to so I kinda don't wanna ruin that by asking her put but man she's cute and I want to ask her out. Coffee or some shit.

Victor?

>stirner
my man

Me too. It's not that I don't know HOW to talk to people, it's that I have no fucking interest in having a conversation with them.

I think my biggest problem is that I never have real conversations with people. All I do is make "quick witted" (other peoples words) responses to peoples' comments or observational humor about what's going on around me/us. I never sit down and listen to peoples' problems, or give advice, or anything like that, "a shoulder to cry on" some might call it.

And the reason i don't have real conversations with people is because then my shut-inness will come out in the open. I'm sure most people already know I'm a fucking loser but at least it isn't out there.

And because of my shut-in autism, hearing what other people think are "problems" in their lives really pisses me off. Like the things people complain about and act like they are such big problems are so infinitesimal

I almost wish i had an invisible normal person following me since elementary school and telling me everything wrong im doing in social interactions so i could have fixed them.

Or maybe I should have just asked my peers why none of them every liked me and I could have fixed that

I'm the exact opposite. I'm excellent 1 on 1, but have no social tact when it comes to groups. I'll make really good friends 1 on 1, they'll invite me to a party or to go out or something, then I just fuck it up in groups and never get invited out again.

thank god im not you, I was tempted to be but my survival instincts kicked in. Now I just smoke me some from time to time

What drug dependency?

Btw I've done all those drugs, addicted to phenibut, and thinking about doing a cycle.

but honestly, I would prefer someone who is alive

I have no normie interests like watching sports or series, with the exception of the ones in which the episodes are unrelated or only very loosely connected, like black mirror, rick and morty, or family guy (shit taste I know). I also hate playing most team sports or playing board games, or really any kind of activity where there are a bunch of rules. My only interests are programming and math related shit, and browsing Veeky Forums, which I can't really talk about without looking autistic in real life.
I also have a lot of trouble talking to cashiers or ordering in mickey d's.

What drug dependancy? all the drugs you listed are just party drugs and the only one with any serious addiction potential is ketamin. you don't sound too bad man, everyone who takes drugs ends up fucking up at some point and taking too much or having a terrible trip or overdose or something, just learn from your mistake and be more careful next time.

i've just finished being a skell mode heroin addict, now i am a decent weight from stopping hard drugs, fixing my diet, and i just bought a nice weight set and have just started lifting.

if you're taking these drugs btw you're probably not getting enough sleep or a decent amount of food if you're constantly parting, get your life in order and you'll make gains.

also stop taking mdma if you have problems with depression, drugs are incredible and if i could spend all day every day shooting up speedballs i would, but it's not a realistic or happy or fulfilled life.

you're probably not gonna die from taking party drugs man, just get yourself in check

After HS I became a complete introvert/shut in. Never went out or socialized apart from going to the Mall or the occasional meet up with friends. Pushed myself into the most awkward and painful social situations known to man, but it was all worth it. Now I find it much easier to communicate and relate to others in conversation, rather than just sit back and let others talk.

Just wondering how you go about public speaking. Everytime I'm talking to a massive group of people I always feel that I'm not making sense or mumble my words even though I know I'm not

probably about ((((((this)))))) big

My problems include:
>spotlight effect: always feel people are looking at me
>care to much about what people think

When I am interacting with someone, especially women, I am too concerned about saying the right things, tense up, and try to end the interaction promptly.

I essentially have a checklist mentality when dealing with others and fail to make any substantive connection.

Have you ever considered the idea that there's still more for you to learn about life?

Contentment, security, respect, and accomplishment mean much more to me, for example, than being happy does anymore. You could develop drive and passion. You could take a glimpse at the sublime. You could find a cause that you care more about than you do yourself. You may even ride on the normie deluxe and start a family. None of these focuses make you really fuckin' happy like molly does, but you could find reasons to shrug off another MDMA trip, even when your month of cooldown is up, because what you're keeping busy with is more important to you.

I moved to a new state and have no friends whatsoever and don't know where to begin. It was easy back home when I met people through school and shit but now it's harder, especially since I don't really have a lot of hobbies.

What? Can someone tell me if this is legit? That's pretty scary to think about. Basically if I can't lift for a week I'll start to lose muscle?