At gym right now. I'm a skinny noob, do I stick to machines or push weights with the big boys?

He browses on his phone at the gym
Rack yourself fag

remember to tip her though, otherwise they revoke it out of spite

I didn't tip

Did you not even call her m'lady? Prepare get excommunicated

>8KG DUMBBRLLS

>MAKING IT

Yeah I know I felt like a mug myself. I need to start somewhere, hopefully I'll be on 10 by this time next week after going daily, or every other day if I desperately need to recover.
Do I need a disciplined work out or dose making it up as I go along work?

Download the strong lifts 5x5 app and do what it says. If you don't follow a routine your wasting your time.

So this is all I do? Doesn't seem like much to me

Yes. Watch the form videos too. You can add accessory exercises in a few weeks if you haven't given up.

How long till I'm Veeky Forums?

Depends on what you think Veeky Forums is with stronglifts you can calculate what your lifts should be if you keep adding the same amount of weight

I'm skinny atm, no definition, I'm looking to get some definition and build some muscle. How long before I start to see progress?

You'll see progess in ~4 months, others will start to notice around 6-8 months.

Keep in mind, as a complete beginner you're mostly teaching your body to use the muscles it already has rather than building more muscles. In fact the first 3 months you're training your nervous system more than anything else, you'll see a very rapid increase in strength but little to no change in physical appearance. This is not you getting 'stronger', but rather your brain learning how to properly activate and coordinate your existing muscles. Only after you've gone through this process will you start to see significant physical changes, assuming you follow the program consistently and eat properly.

gomad and squats

:( I wanted to be fit for uni in September. Oh well at least I can get freshers next year. Will this training program train the whole body Including core?

wait 30kg for row but only 20kg skwatz?

follow the biggest guy around and do exactly what he does after he does it.

If you do it correctly, yes. Make sure you're keeping your abs tight during all the exercises.

Keep in mind it is a beginner program, after maybe 1.5-2 years you'll stop making consistent progress, at which point you can choose another program that's more targeted to your specific goals.

If you really want to be fit by september your only option is roids. There's no way to go from untrained beginner to aesthetic in 3 months natty.

he just squatted 350kg, how dafuq am i supposed to do that

When I was at the vending machine getting a shake a black guy asked me if I want some real juice and showed me a plastic container with pink pills. I told him the only pink juice I like is pussy and we laughed it off. Are steroids actually bad or should I have considered it?

>oral steroids
don't roid if you don't know EXACTLY what you're doing, what you need to take alongside the steroids and what your pct is going to be.

Steroids have their drawbacks but generally they're demonised much more than they should be. With that said I don't think it's worth using steroids as a novice, it's only something to consider when you've been training for some years and your progress has started to plateau. You have a much higher risk for injury as a novice on gear as well, as certain muscles will naturally grow faster than others, and you can tear stabiliser muscles if you attempt to lift something too heavy too early. Without roids you're usually safe from this because you physically can't yet lift such weights so early on, but with them you actually can.