Guard might get nervous, a man approaches with his barbell drawn

Guard might get nervous, a man approaches with his barbell drawn...

I'd be a lot warmer and a lot happier with a bellyful of whey

Some call this junk, me, I call it /sips/.

I mostly deal with unracked barbells and bad form. Been too long since we've had a good new years rush.

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a hernia on the disc

I was once an adventurer like you, but then I dropped a dumbbell on my knee.

I saw a manlet the other day, filthy creatures.

...

SQUATRACK BELONGS TO THE NORDS

My cousin is out powerlifting. And what do I get? Planet Fitness.

Been so long since I killed a manlet, my sword arm's getting flabby.

SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE MANLETS!!!

that's why I love fit

You have committed crimes against the Dumbbells of Swolstheim, what do you say in your defense?

What is it? DYELs?

Let me guess... Gaingoblins stole your gains?

Watch the form, traveler.

Gotta keep my eyes open. Damn lanklets could swoop down at any time.

No lollygaggin'.

I need to ask you to stop. That ... legpressing ... is making people nervous.

Disrespect the form, and you disrespect me

This one's true.

"I've got to thinking..Maybe I'm the Chad and I just don't know it yet?"

ah! Go do your fancy barbell toss someplace else!

So you can lift a few sets, am I supposed to be impressed?

Kajhit has weights, if you have coin

>Do you get to the cloud district very often?
>Oh what am I saying, of course you don't.
>You're only 5'11, Manlet-born

...

Favor the squat, eh? I'm a legpress guy myself.

God gave you two hands and you use them both for one barbell, i can respect that.

Pst, i know who you are, hail /sips/

Ah, if it isn't the slayer of Gymmoril bunnies, hail Companion!

So you are the member of Cuckpanions, so you what? Rerack weights?

Fucking kek

Veeky Forumsitzen.

Can't wait to count out your reps

Tell you what, you start squatting so I can spot you from the back.

Stop right there manlet scum! Pay the board a fine or serve your sentence. You stolen gains are now forfeit.

KEK

Do you get to the squat rack very often? Oh what am I saying? Of course you don't.

... For Zyzz the Great was a natty and did not use steroids! Now he is one with the gods and walks among stars!

Holy fuck, top tier kek

WHY WONT YOU SQUAT?!

have you heard of the high test

"Ackh"
"Oouh"
"Hhrmf"

Have you ever seen those weights they use at Planet Fitness? They use kettle bells! Kettle. Bells!

have you heard about those lifters from Hammerfell? They have curved bars... curved.. bars..

You should have stayed in your precious Burger King, fatfuck!

GYM BELONGS TO THE ______

Kekles

>Zyzz the mighty! Zyzz the Veeky Forums! Zyzz the aesthetic! To you we give praise! We are but manlets, writhing in the filth of our own smith machines! While you have ascended from the dung of the unasthetic, and now walk among the Sikkunts!

What is better? To be born a Chad, or to overcome your beta nature through great effort?

But you were once sad! Aye! And as a sad kunt, you said, "Let me show you the power of aesthetics, born of the sauna, where my breath isn't. I curl now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Veeky Forums, for I love you.

If these plates frighten you, take comfort from the knowledge that I am here to spot you.

>where my breath isn't

I will feast on your gains!

To you we give Scoops! We are but manlets writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of sad cunts, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, 'Let me show you the power of Zyzz, Sickcunt, born of the East, where my breath is long motivation. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this gym which is mine. I do this for you, virgins, for I love you.' Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Zyzz cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Raves! The future of Aesthetics! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Zyzz is the true god of man! Ascended from humanity, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our natty overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With sickcunts? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your anabolics. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the curlbros take your squat racks? Your leg press? Your short shorts? Your very skateboards? And what do the personal trainers do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The natty machine enforces the will of the normies! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of Aesthetics! Rise up, Sickcunts! Embrace the word of mighty Zyzz, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of Zyzz! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the natties or their toadies, will rule the gym! Forever!

>Aye, love. Love! Even as sadkunt, great Zyzz cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Veeky Forums! The future of aesthetics!

>And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of Veeky Forums! Zyzz is the true god of Veeky Forums! Ascended from natty flesh, to rule the realm of Aesthetics!

unironically good thread

2 slow 4 u

>tfw snow elves were original manlet pit inhabitants and they went blind from lack of light and extreme pressure

>Runs over from the other side of the gym
>Never should have squat here!

...need me some /sips/... the imported stuff... just one last time...

...

I dont know if Thalmor will approve of those test needles you have stashed in the drawers

Ded

*squatting

I'm not a man
I'm a 7 plate barbell in human form
Just unrack me
And drop me on the manlet

...

>Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your gains unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in whey and oats.

...

I had another run-in with the Manlet Guild.

>also best girl

They say Ulfric Stormcloak murdered the High King... with his form! Squatted him apart!

Fucking dead

fuCKKKKKKK

>I'm sworn to carry your plates

He was once one of them, the Manlet Priests
He shitposted here in their name, shitposted on Veeky Forums
But he did not serve the manlets, he devoured them.
And like them, he seeks to return...

You didn't think you were the only one? He was the first
LANKLET-BORN!

Miraak is 6'5

Scooby's Star. A lifting artifact that allows any number of gains to pass through it.

Trying to shitpost in this thread reminded me how fucking trash Skyrims story & dialogue is, holy fucking shit.

You should have lifted. They're already here. The Zyzz videos told of their return. Their defeat was merely delay til the time after Planet Fitness opened, When the sons of Aesthetics would drink their own cum. But no-one wanted to squat. Believed it even acquired gf. And when the butt finally winks: It winks with fire. But, There's one they fear. In their tongue, he's Scoobydoo: Skateboard-Born!

Falmer.

I used to squat like you, until i blew out the cartilage in my knee

New WHEY-Gas: Lonesome ROM

Why didn't I take the spot, you courier, you were the reason. See the squatrack, see what happend, what was done...
Your thighs stripped bare, all it's veins, it's muscles...
I have a message for you, come find me, you know the whey.
Bring all your preworkout, your compression thigths, bar of the bell... two gallons of milk... or whatever plates you're carrying now.
And at the squatrack, you and I, we'll have an ending to things.

This is your 1RM, when you come, you'll squat it alone...

Pale skin, snotty expression. You're a rippleshit! The masters of squatting, right? Hmph. Nothing but a bunch of stuck-up snobs with cheap parlor tricks. Go ahead, try your form in here. Let's see you make those bars disappear. No? What's the matter? Not so powerful now, are you rippleshit? You're not leaving this gym 'til they throw your t-rex ass in the lake. Oh, that's right. You're going to die in here, rippleshit! You're going to die!

dyel? Oh, what am I saying - of course you don't.

Khajiit has tren, if you have the coin

Literally the only wife who comes with her own personal bull

By the Nine! Such a thing is dangerous even to handle!

...

>+1 strength
>-3 endurance

Kek

Stumbling on this thread just after playing the first hour of a new Skyrim (SE + Frostfall + RND +...) is just so perfect.

Thanks everyone

grow or die

chad decays

Hehehe

What's the matter? Can't stand the sight of a strong trans-woman?

chad peaks at 30 when he realizes validation through born qualities just means you never really achieve anything in your life

chad is nothing without the admiration of bitches and bros

You win omg

>u win omg xD that was epic, that was epic for the wiiiin

sipsposters confirmed for redditors

People saying "epic" make me nostalgic
"Epic" + Skyrim thread, this thread is giving me positive feels

Shut up. Having a sarcastic tone isn't a privilege of reddit.

Gains beyond measure outlander

>See that mountain? You can lift it