No homo

Guys, i'm a pathetic neet virgin and i just started going to gym two weeks ago, after reading Veeky Forums for some time, and immediately the worst fucking thing happened.

So immediately as i walked into a gym this fucking guy came up to me and went all "huh, you're new here?", and he actually helped me to start lifting properly. The next day i come he once again comes over to give advice. Ok. Next week he fucking comes over after i finish training and goes "so how's your muscles, do they hurt? i can give you a massage for better circulation, etc", what the fuck. This fucking guy is hitting on me. So i go "no, no, it's ok i'm fine" and he kinda leaves me alone for two days.

Now, today i come to gym, train, go to take a shower and this fucking guy walks by and slaps my ass. I think i'm about to get raped and immediately leg it.

What do i do, Veeky Forums? I want to keep exercising, i want to get fit and finally get gf, but i don't wanna get raped in the process. And i don't even look like a twink, i'm just you average guy.

Everyone loves ass-slaps, don't be a queer.
It's only gay if you let it be gay.

Will it be gay enough when he sticks his dick in my asshole?

I'm not joking here, this is the only gym that's near my house and this fucker now prevents me from coming back and working out.

>he doesn't bring his AR-15 in his gym bag and stash it against the shower wall for emergencies

That's just a bro thing, like what football players do.

You should feel lucky you made a friend so fast.

"I appreciate your help when I was getting started but I have a boyfriend"

You're on Veeky Forums. You'll be gay in a month anyway.

>i'm a pathetic neet virgin
This guy could help you a lot, getting fucked in the ass seems like a cheap price.

>massage for better circulation
Does massaging your muscles actually help gains?

Can happily confirm

This is the only answer /thread

I remember an old greentext about this exact situation. Virgin NEET (who think he's straight) goes to gym, meets buff dude, ends up getting fucked in the ass in the showers by buff dude, three years later and they're still a couple.

Found our new banner.

Still makes the rounds as a screencap here.

Alright, let me walk you through this.

*ahem*

>ayy bro, do you want a massage

>ha, no thanks bro, I've never liked massages, dude

>ok dude

Ta-da. If he keeps talking to you, ignore him. Or be a bro and accept the massage. You know you only come to the gym to pick up dudes anyways.

And, just like the OP, it was nothing but a made up story based on the meme that this board is gay.

They are fun reads sometimes but everyone should be aware that it's just LARP.

Aw that's actually kinda cute :)

No it's gay as fuck

I can't help it, that makes me happy!

If it helps: the story wasn't real.

don't be so self conscious. even if the guy is gay doesn't mean you need to reciprocate. just be cool about it and laugh it off. no need to be weird about it. as other's said, it's only gay if you let it be gay.

This.
I hate Yuri shit but Yaoi is damn cute

if you're too much of a pussy to say "no" to a gay guy hitting on you then you deserve to be raped

Oh well, it was still cute fan fiction at least

This is you in a month op

Suck his dick

>Yummy dick bro!
Fucking spat my drink

I bet you don't tip the receptionist and he's a regular just trying to scare you off. Either start tipping and see if it stops or find a new gym

Holy shit this is funny. I swear to god Veeky Forums is the funniest board on Veeky Forums