Start eating clean

>start eating clean
>broccoli and meat for lunch
>normies at work start mentioning it every fucking day
>tfw to autistic to know how to respond

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just laugh and move on, it's just food

>hey, its really good, wanna try some?

make a joke about it yourself and that's it. it may be difficult though, is there such a thing as broccoli jokes?

must be america if people make fun of what others eat, especially when they see a vegetable on plate

Respond to what, how can we help you if we don't know what they're saying

Say im eating better because im working out

Why is that so hard

youtube.com/watch?v=i5vSia_tLeI

Maybe nobody promotes meat because there's no reason to, not only because its the norm, but because its harmful

Because I'm dyel.

What do you get when you cross broccoli and a vampire?
Count Broccula!

What do you know when people start calling you broccoli?
Your having a bad hair day.

What do you get when you cross a melon with broccoli?
A melon-coli snack.

What kind of socks do you need to plant broccoli?
Garden hose!

What's the difference between broccoli and snot?
Kids dont eat broccoli.

What do you call a scary movie about vegetables?
The Broccoli Horror Picture Show.

Where did the broccoli go to have a few drinks?
The Salad Bar!

Broccoli might get stuck in your teeth, but French Fries get stuck on your ass.

Broccoli: I look like a tree.
Walnut: I look like a brain.
Mushroom: I look like an umbrella.
Banana: Dude! Change the topic.

>is there such a thing as broccoli jokes?
There is, but there schouldn't be.

dude

The most frequent statement is "gainzzzz". How do I even respond to that shit?

jesus christ what are you worried about

Tell them to fuck off.

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Just annoyed that I have to respond to it every fucking day, but sound like a retard because I don't know what to say.

just say something like YEAH BUDDY

Call them fat fucks

>giving away calories just like that
You're never gonna make it brah.

It's literally good for you though. If you don't eat meat, you aren't healthy. Vegans are sickly as fuck.

I take cans of sardines and hard boiled eggs to work who gives a fuck what they think.

whatever it takes c'mon

>must be america if people make fun of what others eat, especially when they see a vegetable on plate
no, people always look at what you eat and feel the need to comment every single day about you dieting.
Which is very annoying
>hurr are you on a diet?
>hurr did you cook this yourself?
>durr what is in your plate?
Yes i'm autismo so I answer like yeah haha.

>haha want some bro? no? okay.
thats why they will understand if you're eating healthy, you don't want to be dyel anymore

DYELs do that in literally every country, always whining about everything to people who exercise

"I just wanna better my health you know?"

>What's the difference between broccoli and snot?
>Kids dont eat broccoli.

WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE???

Literally never had this happen, cant even imagine what kind of autist would ask someone about the lunch they brought to school/uni.

Then again, my people is a very introverted one - our busses are always 100% silent unless there's some brown immigrant aboard.

t. Dane

>Other parts of my life are sauce-y.
>This chicken breast is moister than your mum's _____...
(gesture for them to fill in the blank word)
>these are bowel cancer fighting trees!
>taste or health, it's a tough choice
>You don't want my meal, but you will want to eat your meal off of my abs soon.

You are a fucking autist so they're right to make fun of you

I can't imagine men would talk down on others trying to improve themselves so I'll assume it's women, here's a plan OP

>Get her in an isolated area away from public view, at night is best
>quick left jab to face (Opposite if southpaw)
>Immediately punch in jaw with full weight of body while she's jerking back from your left hook
>Tackle to ground
>Punch her a couple more times if needed until she resorts to purely blocking your punches with your arms and going in the fetal position
>Turn her over so her stomach is lying on the ground
>Get on top of her and keep most of your weight on their chest/upper body (You should be 150-220lbs, of which the average female would get easily crushed under since they can barely lift 20 lbs)
>Immediately use both of your massive arms to strangle her from behind, persistently
>She won't be able to speak because of you strangling her, use her arms since your'e strangling her from behind, get up because you have your weight on her, or kick you because her legs are too short; she is completely at your mercy in this position assuming you have her isolated
>In 15-30 seconds, she should pass out
>Continue strangling her using more force for another 5 minutes and she should be dead (Check her pulse to make sure, it should stop)
>take the body home, take off all of her clothes and throw them in a dump somewhere, cut up the body parts, drain the blood in your bathtub, put the parts in ziplock bags, and keep them in your freezer.
>slowly over time dispose of each organ through an assortment of different methods, presumably after searches for her have died down (You could even eat the organs for free protein)

>You don't want my meal, but you will want to eat your meal off of my abs soon.
The autism

>Veeky Forums - Murder & Body Disposal

I got you OP, next time say
"SAlad you CARROT accept my lunch with being SHallots"

They will leave you be after that

T-together?

>(You could even eat the organs for free protein)
Kidney is the shit tho. almost 30g of protons per 100g

Flex a cep

A guy at work once flipped at me for having a boiled egg for lunch (with a sandwich). One fucking boiled egg. He kept telling me I'm not big and don't need that much food. How does that even make sense? I weighed like 66kg. He bragged about powering through the day on low-fat youghurt. The sort of guy who, if you ever mentioned gym, would tell you it's poor exercise and how he could do more push-ups than you.

moral of the story: never try to explain anything

Wtf? psycho.

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Me and you. We're friends, right? Think alike. We both know what this calls for. The burner, The steel, The great equalizer, A man's last hard on, The gat, The birthmark, The Baby Nasty, The huggy bear, The Mr clean, The Hyman, The night watch, The Great optimist.

Yeah... That will show em.

user, I ...

For 3 months in a row, every day at lunch I would eat my prepped sweet potato/chicken/brocolli cold

>Co-workers always think its strange
>"how can you eat that every day user"
>One time a fat woman tells me "wtf is wrong with you, why are you eating that every single day"
>"I dont eat for taste, I eat for nutrition"
>Fat woman tells me "wow you must be fun to hang around with"
>"at least Im not fat"
>Female co-worker starts throwing a rant, acting all triggered
>Some male co-workers that I befriended started laughing
>Whole thing escalates, female co-workers shouting at me, male co-workers taking my side
>She tells my boss, have to go talk to him
>He doesnt give a fuck, tells me he hates that fat fuck aswell
>We both pretend that he scolded me and everything is cool now

Feels good to have a boss that lifts too

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>Sorry you had another stroke, Carl.

>falling for the eating clean meme

No wonder they're mocking you gayboy.

literally just food and anybody who chooses to define you through your food choices is a retarded jealous bitch

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WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS

You're never gonna make it, mental gains, confidence gains and anti autism gains are every bit as important as muscle gains and you're failing miserably

Tell them you just like eating it and it's cheap and that you have an incurable disease that prevents you from eating most things. Get a little choked up at the last thing.

the 2 or 3?

...

Don't be >that guy OP, and at this point you are exactly >that guy.

But this tupperware food always looks disgusting.

HAHAHAHA my nigga, I find bleach works better though. Really thins out the gore, and whitens the meat so it just looks like shitty beef.

Rapid fire

I feel violated

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Same here ein Germany.

>Hey user how many kilograms of rice do you eat per week
>Hey user how many eggs do you eat per week
>Same as yesterday user?
>Jesus user how much is that?!
>Say user, how can you eat the same lunch for five days straight?
Literally every single day over the past 2 years at my job.
The only guy being genuinely interested in my lunches every now and then as to how i cook them is the only person at the table who lifts himself.

long story short: miserable cunts want to see you give in and fail

Veeky Forums

Post lunches you took to work

also this

>huge fat bitch at work (at least 17stone) banging on about 'dya know what those sweetners do to you' (sips)
>if I say 'dya know what sugar does to you, do ya?' I'll be in trouble

why is the world so unjust

Just say certain goals require some sacrifice.

bring in broccoli and long pig

>implying what i cook doesnt taste good
>implying i dont like eating it

my guy

people are stupid and dont evenr ealize you want to improve yourself. they genuinely believe youre too stuck up or stupid to come up with other lunches.

the same people think you dont have enough money for a car because you dont own one and only ever use your bicycle.

all you can do is feel superiour and let them live in their stupid little world

Im not saying it taste bad. but normal people look at it and think its booring. Which is why you dont get it. Normal people only eat sugary shit. So for them it would be a sacrifice.

No way am I sharing my food.

yes

fucking this

they think it's weird because you eat the same fucking thing every day at lunch you dipshit LMAO .not to mention it's probably prepped horribly and literally plain broccoli and unseasoned meat


no one would make fun of you if you brought in something like a beef broccoli dish. start adding minced garlic, minced ginger, and chopped onions to it, with some soy and hot sauce.


baka i hate seeing dipshits prepare "CLEAN MEALZ" plain as fuck when they could drastically improve them with 2-3 more ingredients, like what teh fuck just add some tumeric to the rice and it instantly becomes 100x better

oh wow, people trying to be friendly and talk to you about what you're eating. Must really trigger you bro, that sucks.

fuck them mate

Dude what

I don't ever get this because I know how to cook.
>what have you got today user, looks/smells good!

>Yeah, it's cheap and healthy, I don't mind it.

Though tbqh if you're coming in with chicken + broc every single day, not surprised people mock you

Eating clean doesn't mean eating boring af...learn to mix it up.

>this isn't pasta

Who cares, the same thing everyday gets boring anyways no matter how good you make it taste. Eating for taste is for fatties

i think you should leave, paul allen

come on man