Bulk license expires tommorow

>bulk license expires tommorow

>gym gentleman stacked my weights for me and challenged me to a duel for not doing it myself

>yearly penis inspection day at my school on Monday.

>bulk license ran out last month
>didn't realize it until the cops showed up

They knocked my fucking door down with a battering ram and took my milk and peanut butter. The cop gave me an ankle bracelet like goddamn felons wear so they can see if I get too close to fast food places

>Gym nemesis left caltrops in the squat rack again
Today I would have tried for a PR too. Fuck.

Too bad, you got good quads anyway

>tfw getting audited for frauding my gains tax

>gym Priest runs out of mana for the day
>have to workout without buffs

INCLUDE ME IN THE REDDIT SCREEN CAP

> tfw too scared to renew bulk license because ICE is staking out the local Department of Athletic Gains

>Armenians moved into my gym and settled down close to the free weights
>now the entire gym smells like grilled onions
>can't even get a workout without being offered "discounted" prices on weights

>gym clown ran out of balloon animals

>tfw gym employee forgot to lock the manlet pit again

Epic reddit reference bro!

>forgot to clean the communal squat plug

>was cutting but my therapist asked me about the straight lines across my arms

you are lucky, when this happens at my gym the sell the plates and barbells as scrap metal

>decline bench press
>do it anyway

Lost

>body is 30% mercury from eating tuna
>weather takes a turn for the worse, super low barometric pressure
>lose three inches in height
>confined to my gym's manlet pit

>people on Veeky Forums unironically post frogs

summer is still fresh

>the squat inspector is here today and I forgot my plug

>implying most of us aren't autistic virgins as well

>get Qt gymnast gf
>Get married
>We receive our wedding rings
>She suspends them from the ceiling and starts doing muscle ups
>Mfw when I can't even do 1

Didn't post pic

>didn't tip the receptionist today

>tfw I lost my pocket barbell somewhere in the creatine mines

What do I do now?

>rented treadmill for the day
>forgot to rewind it before returning

>lost the keys to the power cage
>gonna be locked in overnight again

>Plate dispenser ate my quarters again.
>Whatever I'll workout on my rest day
>Plan to go see movie with chick I met on tinder
>Shes a no show
>Forced to stay in the singles only theater

>cut license expires tomorrow

>He needs buffs to work out
I bet you also use a belt

>Gym replaced oly lifting with oily lifting

>received a citation in the mail for excessive e-statting

>tfw you leave your lifting socks at home

I hope you get publicly banned

>It's safety inspection day at the gym
>I left my squat plug at home

sounds erotic

>manlets getting broken over abroller wheels for racking the bars too low

>deadlifts aren't available in my language
>have to use subtitles

>the pre-workout tank burst and spilled into the manlet pit

The little buggers started hopping around like the flea men from Castlevania

>gym manager unlocked the roid monkey cage while the manlet pit was open

>change room helper puts my shirt on backwards and doesn't apply enough deodorant to my underarms
>still expects a tip

obvious bait is obvious

just use the communal squat plug

>he posted a non lewd Kanna
I'M FED UP WITH THIS WORLD

but nobody cleans them nowadays...

>gym liege keeps raising the gains tithe
>threatened to send our children to the protein mines if we revolt

We're never gonna make it through the winter with arms this thin.

>tfw always long lines at the Mcdonalds in my gym

Underrated post.

>bros keep on running into my clothes lines in the steam room
>all my muscle tees have wrinkles

are you trolling? you clean it with your mouth what do you think

>2017
>not licking your gymbro's sweat off of the communal buttplug

it's like you don't even care about gains lmao

>Smith machine replaced with a middle aged man named Smith

>curl assistant forgot to wax and sweep the floor in front of the curling rack again

>try to cut
>gym bulk buddy shoves peanut butter down my throat

...

>the gym trap you have been sucking off for gains tells you he's not Natty
What the fuck do I do

>tear my lifting lingerie squatting
>gym bro is 2 cup sizes bigger
Any other anons get caught stuffing at the gym?

Mods can we please perma-ban fags that reply all and cite reddit in any capacity?

>attaining manlet status after losing only 3 inches
Not sure why anyone under 6'4 feels comfortable posting publicly on Veeky Forums

>brakes are broken on gym bikes
>coasting in place until I got pulled off

wew laddy

>posting an image that was confirmed to be made by a salty summerfag

>tfw they send me to the weenie gym for not answering correctly on the surprise pop quiz

>left the squat rack in neutral
>cant remember if i pulled the hand break

At least your theater has a singles section. Mine won't even let me inside by myself.

maybe he was 6'6 and he lost 3 inches to be thrown in the manlet pit

>Border patrol caught me trying to mule 20 kilos of gains from Mexico
>Sentenced to 20 years in the protein mines

>tfw plate dispenser dropped me two instead one.

>Spent all my 45lb plates at the quarter dispenser

>forgot to bring summer pies
>fall off bars into manlet pit

>left the smith machine on all night
>addy bars everywhere

>go to hospital
>kicked out for deadlifting in the morgue

Honestly I think it's everybody's responsibility to clean it before you use it. This way, if the person before you didn't clean it, it only is a dirty squat plug going in their own ass, not yours.

...

>exercise balls
>testicular torsion

>this person is 5'7

>failed cutting license test third time in a row
Should I just kill myself, brehs?

>ring barbell
>bartender racks my weights for me

>be 5'4 skelly manlet
>start lifting
>squats and oats because fit said so
>gain 30 pounds and it all goes to my ass
>gym futa starts hanging around me a lot more, complementing my form during romanian deadlifts
>pounces while I'm doing back extensions
>can't shake her off, if you stop in the middle of the set you lose your gains
>she jams her fucking horsecock into my ass
>delivers a liter of protein right into my stomach
we're dating now, but now I'm shopping for a new squat plug, my old one falls right out now. any recommendations?

>chin ups
>still sad

i will never not like the frogs

yea I recommend kys

>training calves
>gains goblins steal my whole herd

>mountain climbers
>still at sea level

>buy an altitude mask
>still not a big guy

...

I dont go on reddit and find this funny. Stfu

Well hand in your natty card to the gains police for starters

>mfw

>gym milf runs dry
>without the perfect gains food I stop hitting PRs and plateau
anybody lift at Golds? I hear they tend to hire gym milfs with bigger milk tanks (H cup+)

>going to the gym
>shit, forgot my shake, guess I'll have to use the gains dispenser
>press the button, place the tube in my mouth
>mfw the gym replaced the semen with greek yogurt because of complaints
How am I supposed to get macros like this?

>try to clean & jerk
>kicked out for indecent exposure

>trying to do dumbbell press
>all the left-handed dumbbells are taken
>try to use two right handed ones and snap my shit up

KEK

>snuck out of the manlet pit today when the attendant had to go refill the plate dispenser

>tfw can't do compound lifts because my barbell is still under construction at the barbell smith

>sweaty Portuguese not wiping down equipment after use
>had to call in sick to my doctors appointment

Love this

...

>Sauna protein milk ran out
>Had to pour water over the coals like a dyel

>rowing machine out of order
>have to do deadlifts in the dark