Tfw your 9/10 cousin mires you and feels your arms

>tfw your 9/10 cousin mires you and feels your arms

Fuck off Alabama

My cousin was prime fuck material a couple of years ago, back when she turned 16 or so (I only have like 2.5 years on her, fuck off pedos) The sexual tension was so high. Unfortunately she hit the wall at 18 and became used goods at an extremely early age. If your cousin wants to fug you, do it before it's too late, OP.

>Used goods
Literally everyone has sex. Usually before 18

"Solid"

>Literally everyone has sex. Usually before 18
Delete this right now

No no, I mean she got flabby, dyed her hair an unnatural colour, got bad skin, and slept around. Just turned gross overall

Shes like 5 years older than me and still fine as fuck, if she wants to fuck i will slam my dick so far inside her whoever pulls it out will be crowned king arthur.

>hasnt had sex before 18

>tfw 24 year old virgin
>can bench lmao3pl8
Does the Bench Fairy grant my wish @ roflmao4pl8 bench?
I can't be assed to get the deadlift fairy to do the same.

S-STOP IT!!!

You're already at 2pl8 bruv, you've made it

>mfw a 50 year old milf mired me in front of her husband

>You're already at 2pl8 bruv, you've made it
Clearly I haven't.
2pl8s is my bodyweight @ 6'2" so I need to lift way more for chest hypertrophy.
I do want to try to get a 400lb bench before my rotator cuffs give way.

...

I didn't have sex for the first time until I was 21. Then I got a girlfriend, broke up after three years and immediately got another girlfriend, and broke up after three years. spent all six of those years having sex at least once every day I was with my girlfriend, which was 3/4 of the year and then some.

You can make it anons.

Currently single for just under 6 months, have had sex 3 times.

Man, I wish I had hot younger cousins.

Alabama isn't listed???

Cousin, abs, pecs, solid

Cousin(15), pecs, abs, solid

Don't you mean berry your dick

no one cares about how much sex you have

>Literally everyone has sex. Usually before 18

What do these assortment of words mean user

Woodberry my fine sir.

Cali is though...

all Mexicans are inbred.

I know a girl who claims she's still a virgin at 25, will be 26 years old soon.

How believable is this?

Ask her to let you feel her hymen.

Not after you're done with her.

...

Uh

there's a high chance she's sucked and jerked so many fucking dicks and had her pussy rubbed and ate by a lot of guys. maybe even some anal in there.

...

>SOLID

FUCK OFF CHAD

Is she fat or ugly?

sex with a chick more than twice fucking blows and if u think it doesnt, well that means u have bad genes

religion?

>"pecs"

got more of those m8?
I've known girls who needed reduction, so it's amusing to me.

>girls who needed reduction
>needed
>too lazy to do back exercises

yeah totally haha ha

Seconded, I'm curious about this mystery too.

Yeah thats like 99% of this board

is ur cousin my cousin

This is not /r9k/ user

It is Veeky Forums though. The majority of the site is full of socially awkward people. A lot of people on this board also seemed to get fit at some point after turning 18, so they didn't have that to counteract autism.

heh, I turn 21 in a half of a year. Barely any friends and never even held a girls hand, or had a gf.

It doesn't bother me tho

>implying lifting fixes autism.
It makes you slightly more confident, that's it.

I didn't. I was saying that people tend to look past autism more if you look good physically. Balance out may have been a better choice of words.

are you my cousin's cousin?

how about you lurk more before posting friends?

Ryan Gosling is living proof of this.

be carefull with that cousin thing user

>be 22, watch a lot of porn, really horny, jerk off like 5 times a day, love creepshots
>be at the library with my female cousin
>female cousin has a BIG ASS
>decide to take a creepshot
>let her walk in front of me
>pull up camera and click
>flash is on
>FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
>cousin turns around and freaks out when she realizes what I was doing
>I tell her I accidentally clicked a button on my camera that turns on the light
>she asks to look at my gallery
>say no but she wrestles phone out of my hands
>not only is the creepshot there, but more porn, and screenshotted pictures of her from social media, her big titted
sisters,and her mom's.
>cousin freaks out
>no idea what to do at this point
>remember I have money saved up
>offer her $300 not to tell her family
>she agrees and takes the cash (I had it on me because I don't like debit cards)
>tells her family any way
>they no longer want to see me
>blocked me from social media
>my family keeps trying to contact me
>ignore their calls and texts
>thinking about faking my own death at this point

>taking your own death but letting them live and tell your shameful story after you're gone
You know what to do, user.

Even if you're 40 and are fucking a 16 year old, that's not pedo. 16 year olds are adults.

Why is everyone here like some retard from a comedy movie or something? How do you autists get into these situations? This is hard to believe

>mfw 24, virgin still

the fucked up thing is i'll be a doctor in less than 6 months.
>get my medical license before losing my v-plates

been thinking about suicide a lot lately.

I laughed so fucking hard

I lost wizard power rights at 21, fucked 7 different girls since then, now 23, not proud but not exactly hunting women every weekend.

Had opportunities to fuck 2 girls, both were virgins, one was 21 the other 22.

They're out there man, not many but there are few.

>Literally everyone has sex. Usually before 18

cheeky kek of the day

...

>>say no but she wrestles phone out of my hands
This is the first time I'm calling someone a DYEL

>you'll never experience the joy of high school sex in the bed of your pickup truck under the stars with a nervous virgin qt
Man, you really missed out.

lmao

everyone here is a fucking retard

>Literally everyone has sex
everyone on this board eventually will if you really are geting fit
>Usually before 18
not always though
Come on bros you can do this

>will become a doctor
Don't worry mate, that is literally the anti-virgin profession. You will lose it soon enough.

...

>hot cousin tells me she'd fuck me if I wasn't her cousin
>girlfriend of male cousin tells my female cousin that I'm "really hot"

S-stop it.

This. When you start making that specialist money you're going to be eating more pussy than cervical cancer.

I found a girl who was virgin at 21.
We both gave each other ours.

How fast did you nut?

DELET

Lost mine on my 21st bday to the gf at the time. Since then I've become that guy among my friends that fucks a lot and has a lot of stories by age 23. I think my body count is around 20, but I'm not proud of it being a high number so I don't try to total it up frequently. More like 25+ if you count bjs and such. Had 2 threesomes and one foursome (all girls, though with the foursome one didn't really participate and more like just watched).

kys

>everyone
Did you forget where you were

>faking my own death
Make sure you do it right though because the IRS will be on ur ass

I have one fuckable first cousin I haven't met since we were 10, I'm hoping to get fit and rich enough to dazzle her into letting me rail without too much speakijg because I have the burgers

Fuck off Punjab. Whites have the lowest rate of incest.

Fuck off normie. How old are you?

>Fuck off normie
this is Veeky Forums, not r9k

A doctor in 6 years? Not possible unless not a real doctor or you graduated high school early.

> all these butthurt virgins in this thread

Jesus Christ, I had fucked 9 chicks before I turned 18 and now have a cute blonde GF with big perky tits.

Its not that hard, guys. Apply yourselves!

Seriously, this /r9k/ cancer is part of what's shitting up the board. Sure Veeky Forums has always had
>tfw no gf
But that was motivational, not
>normies REEEEEEEEE
People making it and getting laid is encouraged here, that's the whole goddamn point. So sick of the crabs in a fucking bucket.

Just b urself amirite?
Fuck you.

No just learn how to flirt with women.

tell us how o learned one

SUMMER
U
M
M
E
R

Someone should post the pasta, though

>just do it
k

This might be one of the most false statements I have ever read.
I mean sure nobody here cares how much sex that user has had, but you're mistaken if you dont think you are constantly being judged for how often you fuck other people.
It's one of the few things thstbalmsot everyone cares about or brings up

Had sex at 14yo with a 17yo girl. I'm now 24 and haven't fucked for 6years now damn time flies

>not playing "boyfriends/girlfriends" with your cousins while you are little baka

same here,my cousin was a solid 9 around 16. She's now 18 and has a bf ,already starting to look weird as in sort of blown up.

You really aren't though. In every day conversation nobody is going to ask you how many holes you've plugged and the only people that might ask are those closer to you who shouldn't be holding it over you unless they're sadistic or you're painfully awkward.

If you get a girl to the point of sex being in question she's not going to start giggling and texting her friends that you're a virgin unless you step way out of line.

Drama club in school.

> inb4 gay

Surrounding yourself with women and constantly making moves on the ugly ones until you know the moves that work. Then use them on the hot ones!
Also there is a certain kind of smile that lets you get away with everything. Practice it in front of a mirror.
After then you just go super cheesy and smile that smile. They will know its ironic and youre teasing them but a certain part will always feel flattered.

Example:

> “user, why did you miss class yesterday?“
> “had a doctors appointment, but trust me Stacy, I missed your voice so much I couldnt sleep!“ *smile*
> “oh come on youre full of shit hahahah...“

Two weeks later she blew me in the bathroom.

I know it sounds like cringy bullshit, but figuring out how to get away with ridiculous compliments like that is key!

Now go and practise your smile!

my buddies most recent girlfriend was a virgin at 24 before they had sex.
she has some condition and looks like quite young and is very small so that might have something to do with it
so I'd say believable

>tfw finally lost my v card 2 weeks ago days after my 18th birthday

delete this