The Gym Genie

Bring forth your Veeky Forums related gains wishes and I shall grant them. I also will tell your fit related future. One service per customer. Don't be greedy with your gain wishes.

Let me escape skelly mode Pls genie

Don't you have a wish for The Gains Genie? C'mon don't be shy!

Let me be motivated and aesthetic on this day

I wish for perfect health until I hit 95+, no cancer, no dementia, no debilitating injuries etc.

Wish granted! You will grow muscles big and veiny, and have expensive tribal tattoos that hot chicks will be drawn to like bugs to lightbulbs.

Wish granted! You will become more motivated than ever before. Any goal shall be accomplished with ease. However, you will not become more aesthetic, only one wish per customer. Sorry!

Wish granted! You shall live a flawlessly healthy life without a single doctor visit, until the age of 95.

I wish that I could walk normally.

Something fucked up in the womb and caused me to need crutches for the rest of my life.

I wish to get any woman I want.

Wish granted! You will from now on believe that walking with crutches is the normal way to walk.

Wish granted! Any woman you so desire shall be yours.

Any more wishes? C'mon, don't be shy!

Thank you magic gym genie

But of course, my child. It is my job!

Remember, only one wish per customer!

The Gym Genie waits eagerly to grant your Veeky Forums related wish!

i wish to gain something to want to wake up in the morning for

Wish granted! You will no longer consume your time with negative thoughts, but instead generate goals and incentives that you yourself deem worthy of your own exsistence.

Now please, try to keep your wishes fitness related! And remember, only one wish per customer!

I wish I didn't get so anxious before heavy lifts, it makes my heart race unnecessarily.

Please magic gym genie,I also wish for perfect health so I could always go to the gym,and please bless me with an increased rate of gains

Wish granted! Before your lifts, your mind will wander to a peaceful tropic island where you will vacation in tranquility before each rep.

thank you gym genie

Wish granted! You shall be immune to all sickness and have perfect health. But you will have no increase of gains, sorry. Only one wish per customer!

Aha! But of course!

Thank you genie.

It was no trouble at all!

I wish for perfect form when I lift.

Wish granted! Your form will be perfect, that of a machine designed for precision.

Remember, I also can tell your fitness related future, as well as grant your fitness related wish. Though only one service per customer!

Mr.Genie will I ever be as swole as boogie?

Ahh what a strange aspiration. Your fascination with gains comparable to Boogie will lead you to getting a job at Pizza Hut. You will ask the manager to pay you in pizza instead of money and will live off of wellfare. Somehow a girl out of your league will date you based on a similar facination with the video game Skyrim, only to leave you cucked as she is railed by Tyrone and his bbc gang of hoodlums.

One free wish! Do not be afraid of The Gym Genie, child.

One gf

Wish granted! You will find a girl and make her your gf. Be wary of your choice user, for she will be the one gf you will keep until the end of time.

T-thanks Gym Genie, hope I'll find the right chick

I granted your wish. If you dare doubt my power, I shall revoke the wish.

I wish to liberate you from your chains and put you into Boogie's body.

i wish tolook as god with my clothes off as i do with them on

>tfw big in all the right places but no definition

The Gym Genie senses your disrespect and banishes your wish. I curse you into a crkippling body dysmorphia that can only be quenched by entire bags of family size Funyuns! Others that wish to wish, heed my warning as my magic is not to be disrespected!

Wish granted! You will look like a God with immense definition and muscle tone.

The Gym Genie apologizes for his typo. It is difficult to type using only my floating head.

bring my bench and ohp to the same relative level of my squat and deadlift (305 5RM and 375 5RM)

Wish granted! Your bench gains shall be brought back to the original weight. Your ohp will remain the same, sorry! Only one wish per customer!

Hi genie bro
I wish for no serious or niggling I injuries through my 50s
Thanks in advance genie bro

Wish granted! You will suffer no gym related injuries from age 50 to age 59.

Oh. I guess that is how I worded it. Thank you gym genie bro.

I wish for an ottermode body

Wish granted! You will have the ottermode twink bod you desire, although I must warn you of the homosexual mires that will come of this wish!

I drank like 8 cups of coffee today and now I'm shaking every rep. Make the jitters go away, gains genie.

Yes, of course! The Gym Genie is here to help!

Wish granted! The caffeinated jitters you are experiencing will cease to exist.

I wish to stop being a lazy, depressed sad boy and actually start getting fit and try to escape these dark thoughts of mine with the hope of cutting off caffeine completely... please.

Wish granted! You will replace the mindset of your laziness with an overwhelming desire to be more athletically active. No other wishes granted, sorry! Only one wish per customer.

I understand, thank you magic Gym Genie!

Joke's on you, Gym Genie, I already had body dysmorphia!
So much power and you couldn't see this coming.

The Gym Genie is stronger than you think. My curse gave you false memories of having body dysmorphia before my curse! Others that wish to wish, respect my magic or suffer similar ill fates!

I wish to exercise every morning without fail.

If I lift hard enough, will I get her back?

Wish granted! No matter the circumstances of your days, you will forever workout every morning for the rest of your life.

Thank you gym genie!

I wish for a loving relationship with a nice girl

Hmm, you will join an underground basement gym with intimidating muscle heads that force you into test cycles. Although the circumstances are scary, your self confidence will skyrocket and you will aquire a woman far sexier and more fun to hang out with in spite of your soul crushing heartbreak.

Wish granted! You will have a loving relationship, yet the girl may not be nice, sorry. Only one wish per customer!

I wish for my chest to be symmetrical.
>tfw uneven pecs.

I wish to be able to do 4 sets of 10 pull-ups.(pls dont make make this all the pull ups i can do forever mister genie sir)

Wish granted! Your pecs will no longer be uneven in size.

I wish to have the perfect body

Do trust that what you wish for will be fulfilled. Wish granted! You will be capable of 4 sets of 10 pull-ups.

Wish granted! You will have the body that you believe to be perfect.

I wish to find what will make me happy and how I can protect and cherish it

Thank you magic Gym Genie!

Wish granted! You will discover what makes you truly happy. Your wishes to protect and cherish it however will not be granted, sorry. Only one wish per customer!

I may suffer forever, but I'm taking you with me.
Behold the power of my digits.

AHA! My child, I am here to serve!

The Gym Genie is here to grant fitness related wishes, not feel sob for a Sad Sam or Negative Nancy.

>Wish granted! You will discover what makes you truly happy. Your wishes to protect and cherish it however will not be granted, sorry. Only one wish per customer!

Not again you piece of shit

Thanks Genie.
This has been bothering me for a while.

Brave yet foolish to call The Gym Genie a piece of shit. Your wish to discover happiness is revoked as punishment. Others that wish to wish, learn from this fool's childlike behavior!

I am delighted by your praise, child! I am The Gym Genie.

I wish for all my friends that are working out to get to their fitness goals and stay healthy and uninjured.

I will get my gains on my own.

Bravery should be rewarded
I shall accept no punishment
Others that wish to wish, speak truth and they shall recieve the greatest thing no one can wish for
Love, greatness, happiness and most important of all making it

Wish granted! All your friends that workout shall reach their fitness goals, however your wishes for them to be healthy and uninjured will not be granted, sorry. One wish per customer!

The Gym Genie did not offer you a choice. Your foolish behavior has left me no choice but to revoke your wish. I am The Gym Genie.

I am The Gym Genie. Have you a fitness related wish, child?

The Genie of fitness gains is here to grant your wish! Do not be afraid.

How simple minded for a genie to say there are no choices
My foolish behavior should be described as brave
My wish shall not be revoked for I myself the true genie of myself shall revoke your folish chance to grant me a curse
The curse that I will find what I want but can't protect or cherish it

You are not the gym genie you are the devil himself if you think this wish has any value

I am The Gym Genie. I see through your fragile mind and will await an insult worthy of my revenge. With your pettiness, I assume it will not be long!

Bro... she says she loves me, I don''t feel it, should I man up and disregard my spikes of feelings or bury them inside and let them kill the relationship slowly?

O genie, will that qt ever text me or should I move on? I need relationship gains.

Ahh, I see.. You will learn that happiness does not derive from a woman, but yourself instead. Women are easily replaceable and mimic your interests based on their need of you. That's why you see a tattoo girl with a tattoo guy, because she thought he was cool and wanted to mimic his interests, in this case, tattoos. Women are replacable. Love yourself first.

I am here for fitness related wishes and can tell the future in regards to fitness. I am not here to give relationship advice. Women are replaceable because they mimic the guy they like. If a girl likes a guy that is into nintendo, the girl will wear a mario shirt. read

I will accept your challenge
For I have danced with the devil before and now I will lead the dance

You are the devil not the real genie
For the real genie would never let a other genie make him question his owm worthy
I have made you doubt and angry
You wish to protect your own fragile mind by taking revenge
You are no better then me calling you a piece shit
We are the same
We will meet and I shall defeat the demon I will have the pleasure to meet

Please cure my wife's disability so she can lose weight

BOO KID, YOUR SOUL IS MINE! AS SOON AS YOU FALL ASLEEP TONIGHT, I WILL BE WAITING IN YOUR DREAM TO TAKE YOU AWAY TO A PLACE WITHOUT SUBSTANCE, A REALITY OF NOTHINGNESS!! WHAHAHAHA

My apologies, genie. In that case, I'm nearing the end of my cut. When should I start bulking and at what pace? 6' 155lbs cut from 195 lbs

Only joking! I am The Gym Genie. I am here to grant fitness related wishes. Hopefully my scare tactics will scare away the Negative Nancys and Downer Deborahs

Mr. Genie... Can you make everyone on this board stop obsessing over Boogie and shitposting about him?

Wish granted! Your wife's desire to have a sexy body will overcome her desire for little debbie confections.