I am an anthropologist and recently I observed something interesting. As many of you would know, modern males are in a constant struggle to balance normalised beta characteristics with their internal desire for masculine or alpha behaviour. Their inability to reconcile these contradictory expressions of maleness is creating a generation of confused, angry incels (see MRA's).
For the past six months I have been scrutinising the mannerisms of a-type personalities in the gym. Out of the 28 subjects in my study, 95% of them would regularly 'sniff'. What is the sniff you ask? My findings suggest that it is an unconscious way of exhibiting dominance over others. After confirming via a control group that it is only practiced by a-types, I set about replicating the results for myself.
At first I honed my skills on old people and small children at the mall. Before long, I was ready. For the next month I would purposely work out near my alpha subjects and periodically inhale sharply through both nostrils. I got a few weird stares initially, which I think was due to the dissonance created by my beta appearance and alpha sniff. About fourteen days into the experiment I started getting approached by my targets who would engage in friendly small talk with me.
Eventually I was accepted into the fold. Now they invite me out for high-protein, low carb meals after the gym and I have even been introduced to a few Staceys. The quality of my interactions with people has improved tenfold and I am now able to feel confident and assertive. It is a very powerful tool to have at your disposal so please exercise restraint when using it. I misjudged my sniff one time and was engaged in an hour long standoff with a 6'8" carbon copy of Dolph Lundgren circa Rocky Iv.
my autistic housemate sniffs all the time and it pisses everyone off
Aiden Thomas
No, but I do have a bone you can examine.
Jeremiah Taylor
Thanks user, will start sniffing now
Wyatt Murphy
Hey dumbass. They think you have cocaine.
Blake Wilson
Do the rats in the studies I linked think that other rats have cocaine too?
Sebastian Hill
Posting in a potentially legendary thread. Include me in the screencap when the autistic greentext happens.
Daniel Hughes
autistic people often display (sometimes extreme) alpha characteristics without knowing and are hated for it, as they are rejecting the social hierarchy.
they will be beaten down as a result, but find it hard to realise what they did wrong unless told explicitly.
One solution to both your problems is not to just get him to stop sniffing but to make him more alpha so that people dont mind if he sniffs - i.e. take him to the gym.
Levi Gray
who else here /betamale/
Nathaniel Wood
Kek
Chase Cruz
Brb, gonna stop being a mouthbreather
Jaxson Lewis
So is loud sniffing going to be added to that colorful Chad cartoon? The one where he's always compared with the Virgin Walker or whatever? The Chad plow, etc.
Michael Cox
Obviously dipshit Also checkd Rollan for a triple
Jordan Smith
For your information I only scored 4/10 on the ASRS. Anyway, story time.
>be me >ninja roll around gym recording sniff to mog ratios on my phone >enter glorious aryan bastard Dolph 2.0 >begin sweating profusely, intimidated af but need the data >watch as he sets up on incline bench >third working set so i edge closer >Dolph is now grunting and sniffing emphatically >giddy with excitement >time to show him what i got >let out tentative sniff, ignored >figure he didn't hear me so move closer and sniff again >still nothing >crouch between spotters rest and time his reps >eccentric phase >pop out of nowhere >faces so close i can see his tiny chad pores >*sniff* >almost drops bar on both of our heads but recovers >springs up off bench and charges me like a mad bull >run out of gym screaming like a little girl >return at 3am to sign out with my keycard >avoid fine and gained valuable data for my research >it was a good day
Jason Jenkins
One already mentions it
Jack Ross
So you approach a man and sniff near him ? After you suppose to get dominace over him ?
Explain
Adam Roberts
>August 2017 >Not doing Starting Sniff
Robert Edwards
I tried this and failed. At first.
They key to an authentic sniff is in the chin. The chin must rise slightly and sharply in time with the sniff. Together, this is sometimes called "the 'sup."
Some males will eventually eliminate the sniff altogether and display only the chin movement. This is a sign that they rank just below alpha status but still well above the beta males.
Ryan Gray
He used to pick his nose and scratch his balls in polite company which we got him to stop doing.
He seems to have replaced it with this sniffing; which isn't bad enough for the house to intervene like we did before.
This could explain why it's so fucking annoying though.
As for the gym, I took him once and he didn't like it - the sniffing is here to stay.
Joseph Gomez
HOLY SHIT, THAT'S WHY TRUMP KEPT SNIFFING DURING THE DEBATES
shillary got out-sniffed and didn't even know.
>why aren't I 50 points ahead?
now you know
Adam Sanchez
if you enter the interaction sniffing a lot he can either accept your dominance or he can sniff as much or start a fight right away. the sniffing game offers an opportunity for the beta to submit without a fight.
Zachary White
kek
Asher Peterson
>why aren't I 50 sniffs ahead?
Jaxon Brown
The studies you linked only looked at sniffing in rats. I genuinely want to believe that, by sniffing aggressively, you can become alpha, but holy shit that sounds autistic >aye gurl >how you *SNIIIIIFF* doin? >oh that's *sniff* cool >so *sniff* how about *sniff* them digits?
Brayden Foster
that's interesting since autism is related to extremelly high levels off testosterone in the womb, I've heard that autists are just really masculine
Logan Hall
works for zizek
James Carter
Oh yeah I can attest this. Ever since I sniff I get all the Staceys and the Charles are my best friends and accepted me. Just sniff everywhere and whenever you want someone to accept you as the top dog.
Christopher King
>Huh? >The fuck do you mean about a line??
Camden Clark
and thus began the age of sniff-theory
Thomas Scott
Holy shit is this for real? I've realised that I do sometimes subconsciously engage in loud, sharp sniffing but I almost never have a cold or a need to clear the nose. Only really notice myself doing it around other people. I could never really put my finger on why the fuck I was doing it, but it wasn't something I found odd either, it just kinda came naturally.
Eli Cooper
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KNOW NOTHING FUCKING NERD.
Sniffing does not in any fucking way make you alpha. It is absolutely not the secret to gaining respect and dominance within a group of high performance, competitive males. It absolutely will not get you attraction from the hot girls and will not get you laid and fucked by multiple chicks at once.
Fucking listen to yourself you retard.
I advise no one in this fucking gay thread to start sniffing to try and be alpha because it won't work, doesn't work and can never work so don't even fucking try it.
And don't fucking train your neck either. Having a broad masculine neck is not attractive and it does not intimidate other men so just don't even fucking bother you fucking betas.
If I see any fucking beta bitch sniffing or loading or the neck harness in the gym I am going to pull down their pants and fuck them in front of everyone. Don't fucking test me.
Samuel Collins
>angry beta ramblings
sniff
Landon Collins
>sniff
'Hey, you seem cool, wanna hang out with me and the dudes tonight, grab some za? I should give you stacey's number. She's cute you'll like her, bro. Hey how come I've never noticed you here before? Kinda weird.
sniff
Look at all these pencil necked dorks doing squats. Lmao fucking nerds.'
A CONVERSATION THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU, NERD. DONT FUCKING SNIFF.
Zachary Wilson
>'Hey, you seem cool, wanna hang out with me and the dudes tonight, grab some za?
Sorry bro, that sounds degenerate.
Kevin Myers
What about loud exhaling like a bull? Thats something I do regularly.
No wonder I would totally let him put his dildo penis in my plastic vagina.
Isaac Richardson
>sniff
I sense a new meme.
Thomas Harris
Can someone post a video what this sniffing actually looks like?
I believe what OP discovered is something else. When you do a gesture you tie to gaining confidence (for me, brazing a nostril) you act more confident and more alpha-like. In turn he seemed more confident and alpha-like.
Also I can not avoid inhaling boogers when I do this shit so I must be doing something wrong.
Isaiah Allen
Its complicated but can be reduced to: Autism is the extreme-male brain. BPD is the extreme-female brain.
Look up Simon Baron-Cohen's work
Alexander Gutierrez
>weird, autistic bullshit backed by peer-reviewed papers posted on legitimate websites I can't help but feel like this is a super elaborate troll.
Josiah Johnson
Can someone post an example of what this sniffing looks like, please?
Wyatt Ramirez
I started sniffing last year when I noticed that a lot of "street" people or people who work in construction do it to undermine their statements.
>Customer: "My washing machine broke down, how much is that gonna cost me?" >CraftsmanChad: "Ooh *sniff + alpha pause* that's going to be expensive. *pause*"
Now I do it whenever I have to deal with really extroverted males. Kind of pulls you on a same level in a conversation. I always thought it was a local thing related to our specific dialect.
feeling really autistic that I have put so much thought in this already
Hudson Mitchell
having a strong neck is important though
Noah Brown
Put me in the reddit screen cap
Aiden Ortiz
Put me in the screencap
Sniff
Adrian Martinez
I am dying to know what this sniffing looks like.
On a date I blew my nose into a tissue instead of sniffing and in hindsight I'm sure that ruined it.
Jaxson Johnson
>I honed my skills on old people and small children at the mall
Jordan Cooper
that is insanley autistic and I look down on people who force a sniff on me, it might work on some retards sure, but try that on me and If it seems fake i just think you're a faggot, even if it's real I suddenly regard you as a sniffer, a bit of a brute/retard
Henry Ramirez
>Dat first sniff of the day
Christian Bailey
>sniffs >inserts squat plug >does 5x3pl8 squats >sniffs while removing plug >drops squat plug on ground >alpha-masculine odors circulate throughout gym >everyone is sniffing >sniffs >nostrils flaring everywhere >mfw i cant keep up with the sniffs
Nathan Taylor
>that first sniff of the day
Ian Hill
>start sniffing
Leo Perry
*inhales sharply through both nostrils*
shut your tits
Ian Roberts
>brrrraaaaaaaappppp
Benjamin Fisher
What? Post it!
Logan Barnes
Mods please get rid of this shit
Not even remotely fitness related, despite throwing "protein" "carbs" in at the end for good measure
>all fields
Kevin Martin
...
Jose Morris
I can't wait till I go to the gym and see all the dyels sniffing aggressively
Cooper Brown
i would prefer not to.
Zachary Carter
CHAD has a superrior nasal cavity making him ready to face anything in any circumstance which gives him a runny nose keeping him healthy at all times at any weather. He is immune to temperature changes because of it while you try to moisturize your house every winter.
Jace Morris
bartleby the scrivener pls go
James Peterson
sniffmogged faggot detected
Wyatt Lee
>undermine
You mean underscore?
Jackson Brown
OP here, this guy is larping to try and discredit my body of work.
I will be uploading a tutorial on how to do the 'double sniff' shortly. It is a new technique I have been working on which has thus far shown promising results.
Cameron Russell
I mean forgive me if I'm wrong, I'm no anthropologist or anything, but I don't think sniffing is the solution to acquiring alpha male status. I feel like everyone on this board is looking for the 'secret', the shortcut to being the man you wished your man could be. When in reality the way to becoming an alpha is years of developing an 'unshakeable character' so to speak. If you want to become alpha, I'd suggest reading books about leadership, behavioural psychology and evolutionary psychology. I think it's a mix of experience and a deeper understanding of how human's are.
It's not so much what you say in social scenarios that determine your status, it's more how you say it.
Isaiah Thompson
>tfw mild tourettes >tfw prone to picking up new ticks >tfw sniffing about every minute after reading op I do not appreciate this thread
Grayson Nguyen
>that guy who sniffs at the gym
Nicholas Collins
Hahahhahahahah
Henry Foster
Hey *ssnnniiiifffffff* man *sssnifffffff* thats my *sssnniiffffff* squat rack