ITT:Nigger things you've done at the gym

I'll go first.
>enter locker room
>see a man left all his stuff outside of his locker
>check his pocket
>wallet full of cash
>small gym so I can't just take it without being suspect number 1
>get brilliant idea
>take out his wallet and stage it so it looks like it fell out of his pocket
>put it out of sight just under his seat so if he doesn't realize it's missing I can retrieve the cash
>this way even if my plan is caught I'm innocent and if I'm not caught there is no way to pin it on me beacuse more people will have used the gym
>finish my workout and return, wallet is gone
>exact spot I left it a pretzel stick is sitting there, taunting me

It was worth a shot

>take enough that there is still cash inside but not enough for anyone to notice some of it is missing at first sight
Solved you're problem

Doesn't solve the only suspect dilemma once It was missing I would be identified. Considering the gym was small and I have a distinct look

you dishonourable bastard, stealing in the house of gains

Chop him at the knees and toss him in the manlet pit

He was an old fatass, sitting in the hottub, I'm a young bastard who need's to afford my protein shakes

>steals
>has a distinct look
it's almost as if stereotypes can be true. why don't you try not looking and acting like a degenerate asshole?

You're white. Have more pride than a nigger, you fucking retard.

Go suck dick for money instead, its more your level.

Saged

I always pee in the pool, I came in the hot tub as well

>Be me staying at my gf's parent's house for visit
>I often take long-ish showers
>I am a pretty hairy guy, so I groom regularly
>time to groom comes up
>I don't want to take up the bathroom for a while + use electricity (hot water)
>Get an idea
>Go to gym at my regular time (midnight,24-hour gym)
>No one is at the gym
>Have half-assed workout
>Go to the private showers
>I'm in there for at least an hour
>I trim, shave, shower, depilatate, etc
>By the end, I've used up the gym's entire hot water supply all by myself
>When I get out, still no one around
>Gym's alarm has reset (usually disarmed when swiping in)
>Gym's alarm goes off
>I scurry outside
>swipe my card
>go home looking fly like a G6


tl;dr: I used up the entire gym's hot water supply by myself.

Using sage as a downvote, reddit is about 2 blocks down buddy

Another time at the same gym

>Be working out
>My gym has 2 floors
>No one else in gym
>2 chicks come in (mid-20's)
>They're wearing Dr. Marten boots
>They go into the changing rooms and get dressed to work out
>they come out and put their stuff in the gym's cubby spaces
>they go upstairs to workout
>I sneak over and sniff the boots
>heavenly.exe
>I do it twice more throughout my workout
>go home a happy camper

Good work user!

I always shit on the heat source in the sauna, I call it sauna bombing

You make me sick. You fucking commie

Name one thing wrong with communism, spoiler, you can't!

Everything. Violations of human rights and no individual freedom.
Better dead than red

I never ever strip my bar or rerack weights when I'm done because nobody does and i've got shit to do

I rewear workout gear to avoid excess washing

Link to news story?

I work at a gym and steal steroids out of lockers using my masterkey
nobody is going to ask for their illegal drugs back and I'm looking huge for free