Worst Veeky Forums related injuries

I'll start
>Break scaphoid as a teen playing football
>Don't get it checked for 3 months
>Forced to okay volleyball during those months at school
>Can barely use my wrist for fucking ages and is terribly painful
>One day I fall and it hurts worse
>Finally get it checked and I had also torn a ligament in my wrist due to the fall
>Dont think it fully healed

>Doing oly lifts a few months ago
>Doing some snatches
>Some fucker let their kid run around the gym
>He strayed too close and I don't even know what I did but I tried to not kill the kid by moving
>Barbell ends up behind me
>Shoulder feels a bit funny
>Next morning I wake up with the worst pain I've felt in my whole life from my middle traps to about the top of my neck(left side)
>Hurts every time I move or breathe
>Which is all the time
>Stumble into roommate room almost in tears veggies for painkillers
>He has none
>Have a flight that day
>Worst few hours of my life, seriously wished for death
>Viciously massaged my traps and neck and the pain lessened
>Absolutely destroy them with a golf ball and I'm fine a few days later
Bonus not Veeky Forums one
>Skateboarding as a kiddo
>Hit a small stone
>Fucking the pavement
>Broke my two front teeth in half
>Break itself didn't hurt but having the shards lodged in my gums did
No pain no gain right lads?

>Veggies
Ffs *begged

>Broke my left clavicle playing basketball

>this happened when I was 10 yo
>I have always been atheltic
>Have the advantage that I have always ran very fast
>practiced several sports, one of them beng basketball
>Played several matches
>On one of those
>Was at my school
>was near the edge of the court
>running besides a kid, trying to take the ball from him
>Dont know how, but I tripped. Likely beacuse there are these ''sewers'' besides the court
>did a flip
>landed with my clavicle, and the side of my head
>surprisingly wasnt knocked out
>step dad ran to help me
>couldnt move the arm
>match was stoped
>Best part, the fucking referee was saying that it was nothing and I was just fine
>How the fuck do you say that to a kid that just tripped, did a fucking flip and almost landed with his neck on concrete.

>Fucked up a ligament in my forearm, couldnt move my wrist and hand properly for a few weeks
>same happened with a knee
>Both playing soccer
>Have recived several kicks in the nuts playing soccer

AND FOR NON Veeky Forums ONES

>was reaaaaally young, couldnt be older than 10
>was in a friend of my brother's house
>mom wanted to take a picture of the 3 of us with some frankenstein doll they had
>I was spooped by it
>ended up doing it
>started running afterwards
>hit my head with some metal fat woman thingy hanging from the ceiling
>mom took me to the bathroom
>started washing my head
>could see blood
>cant remember how bad the injury was but it hurt like a head full of knives

>before that, I was in this park near my home
>going up a ladder
>missed a step
>fell down
>hit myself in the head
>thank god the floor wasnt concrete or I would be dead
>needed stiches
>Even today there is a joke in my family were im called superman, for the way I fell down

>I was 2 years old
>Loved apples, still do
>specially green apples
>was eating one
>took a huge bite
>swallowed it whole
>chocked
>nearly died
>rushed to the hospital
>barely alive

Somebody up there wants me alive :)

Or wants you dead and you're a lucky mf

Dude I think you're just fucking retarded. You've somehow escaped from Darwin's clutches a few times but eventually you'll die off

>destroy entire right elbow, shattered from the head of the humurous (sp) with some cracking into the radius head
>Slices brachial artery in half as bone exits
>Cry, a lot
>First surgeon immediately suggests amputation. Second surgeon won't touch it. Third surgeon literally says "never tried it before. Fuck it"
>Repaired surgically. Told I'll probably never have full neural or muscular function again
>Just benched 2 plates for 3 sets of 10

Not bad for somebody that's not supposed to have his arm at all.

>Be me
>Highschool lanklet
>so skinny they used to call me a holocaust survivor
>6'0", 120 (srs)
>be in gym class post swim
>everybody is fucking around with their towels after showers
>nohomo.jpeg
>had mine on locker
>fat faggot tries to use my towel from opposite row of lockers.
>I pull it back
>tug of war
>I climb onto locker doors to get better leverage like a dumb duck.
>fat nigger let's go
>ohshit.avi
>fall backwards onto wooden bench
>hear my spine audibly pop as my lower thorassic got phucked.
>instantly lose sensation below my waist
>piss myself
>fuck
>nobody notices/cares
>crawl to the coache's office
>pass out
>wake up in ambulance, had major back surgery.
>still lift

Lucky that surgery saved my ass, reason I lost sensation was because I had a meniginal cyst and the fall caused it to swell, otherwise it would have popped and I would have been a wheelchair jockey.

This was also like 8 years ago, now I'm a fat fuck with a badass surgery scar.

Likely

why...

>You'll eventually die off
>why

Bodybuilder mortality is 100% you cuck.

What in the 4 dimensional fuck are you talking about?

The guy said I was retarded beacuse I almost died a few times. Would that fucker care to explain me what he meant?

Are you brain dead faggot? He said you dodged near death because of your accidents, but eventually you'll die.

All humans die dumbass. Those accidents must have left you brain damaged too.

This guy said i was retarded. Why am I retarded. Almost dying makes you retarded? Then half the fucking world is retarded.

Of course Im gonna die off eventually.

Not workout injury but trying to get more fit lead to this:

> Go on low carb for several years
> Lots of protein, decent amount of fat
> Not a lot of fiber
> shits get harder
> have trouble passing them
> give myself hemmorroids and anal fissures
> still in pain today, even after switching off low carb

I need to get ass surgery done to fix it.

I stubbed my toe on the squat rack once.

>accident prone/unaware of self
>slow on then uptake
>how am I retarded?

Smh

All of them happened before I was 10, except the basketball one, that happened when I was 10.

If I recall correctly, the one in the ladder was when I was 6, and the apple one was when I was 2. Dont tell me you were extremly self aware at that fucking age.

>playing football(soccer) in second grade
>ball lands out in some grass
>sit down to pick it on
>accidently press my knee into a twig
>twig goes into knee
>mfw

>riding a tricycle at 7 years old down a ramp
>turn too much mid-ramp
>fall
broken clavicle

Fucking retard. Easy to get fiber even on keto

>hype self up for squat pr
>walk forward
>hit head on bar
>KO self
>staff has to resuscitate me
>went home instead of take amberlamps