ITT Autistic things you do at the gym

She probably just thinks you're a kiwi lad
>'thinks miss'

>see dude I knew in high school
>in the gym with him for an hour
>completely ignore him
>finally next to him at dumbbell rack
>both have earbuds in, not looking at eachother
>randomly say "what's up" very quietly just to not seem rude
>mfw

>rip ass ironically when dl lmfao4pl8+
I'm the gym alpha so I can do that. I also rip ass when women walk by in everyday life, it's hilarious to see their reactions when a guy with muscles gives zero fucks

Happened to me, I just did my whole workout (sometimes right next to him) then afterwards i caught up with him

Are you me?

>running on treadmill
>pretend I'm Sonic

The heavier I lift, the more likely I am to make elephant noises while exhaling on the lift.

>set up to do squats
>clips are scattered around the gym
>want to look for them without looking like a creep
>best solution I can think to to this is to put my hand on my eyebrows and scout the gym like a pirate ship captain looking for land on the horizon

I should just bring my own

>not just holding the bar horizontal

One time I shit my pants doing deadlifts

>qt3.14 doing stretches in front of me
>look in the opposite direction
>stare in the corner of my eye at dat ass

>Freshman year
>all sorts of girls from different middle schools coming to one high school
>SurelyIhaveachancenow.jpg
>Cute girl thinks I'm hilarious
>we'll call her erica
>always getting cozy with me
>I have a disorder that when things go good
>I go autistic
>For some reason start insulting her
>Call her chewbacca because she has peach fuzz on her lip
>Plug out her computer while she's doing an essay in english class
>One day shes trying to call her mom for a ride home
>Blurt out into the phone "Erica likes penis! : v )
>However
>No matter how far my powerlevel would ascend
>She would just awkwardly laugh it off
>Eventually she moves on to another guy
>He starts hanging out with us
>One day after school he's with me and Erica
>Decide to go max power even tho its a monday
>I say "Erica you have something in your hair lol"
>"Oh Where"?
>Lean over and spit in her hair because I think its gonna be a funny joke
>Yell out "RIGHT HERRRR!!"
>She has a look that I lack the vocabulary to describe
>It a mix of horror, sadness, shock and despair.
>If someone saw they would think she was raped.
>The dude who was with us then proceeds to beat my ass like there's no tomorrow.
>was quite surprised but figured out quickly his reasoning
>Erica watches us.
>It reminded me of my chinese cartoons.
>When the main character swoops in the nick of time to save the girl.
>I was a pretty fast thinker and already knew the outcome of the situation
>Realize I have no chance of winning
>Realize that I have to escape
>Realize that I must go home and learn how to endure shame
>Realize that I might have something wrong with me
>I was able to escape the beating and had to have my mom pick me up at a walmart 3 miles away from the school.

The worst part is this isn't even the most cringest moment of my HS career.

Or even my life

You can just admit to shitting yourself.

Legit question but who here has a medical diagnosis of autism or autism spectrum disorder?

>fart because there is no one around
>silent, yet deadly, like the ninja
>pt comes around to grab some shit
>looks at me, aware of the poison that surrounds us

Not one person.

From now on, just tell girls you like them, or do the opposite of everything your downs syndrome tells you to do.

This is bad and you should feel bad.

fucking kek

Literally same dude, why are we like this

There isn't a term for it yet. Sure some people are awkward but they can still function in society.
Then there's people like
Who might seem like they have something wrong with them mentally but can still find a nixe job get a car and house etc. An actual autistic person would have trouble with such things. Their autism keeps them from killing themselves if they truly now how far into shitspace they're traveling in. I don't know what the medical term for our disease will officially be called but when it gets brought to the light all the normies and quirky girls will say they have it and we will lose yet another piece of our identity

>last gym I went to had a really good looking receptionist
>every time I go I have to deal with the social anxiety of interacting with her because she's so gorgeous

I'm not even bad looking too which makes it worse so I feel like I have to masquerade as a Chad or else she'll know I'm just a good-looking beta

i do that but i only go on my phone to set a timer.

Literally me last night

I'm going to get tested for it soon, but I don't think I'm actually autistic
It's my lack of empathy and obsession (not too bad) that are the reason for testing

>tighten clips on bar after every set even though they barely moved
>drink from water bottle in between sets
>spin plates on bar while resting cuz nothing better to do
>tap the plates to make sure theyre real

So i can still be Autistic even if i start lifting?

Laughed out loud

>I have a disorder that when things go good
>I go autistic

same senpai

>perform repetitive action for hours on end according to strict routines.

Weight lifting is autistic af user.

>receptionist: I told you to stop coming here you fucking faggot
>y-you too

>drink from water bottle in between sets

>live in a small town in buttfucking nowhere.
>town finally builds a proper gym attached to the sport center.
>behind the center, facing the gym is a camp site.
> it fills up with old fucks like a Moses scale plague!
> old fucks glued to the windows like fly to your Mum ass crack.
> pump myself up for the next set by staring down old people until they fuck off away from the windows.

I do
I'm also not nearly as autistic as anyone in this thread

>Go in for leg day
>Go hard as a motherfucker listining to new music that really just gets me there
>After about 90min my legs feel like butter
>suddenly feel the need to shit
>Waddle to bathroom
>As I'm going to sit, my legs give out and I call right onto the shitter
>the shit just falls out, no effort on my part at all
>It just keeps coming
>All the shit
>More shit then I have ever had in my life
>More shit then I have ever shit in a week
>When it has finally finished free-falling from my colon, I go to stand
>But I can't
My legs-they are butter. I am unable to stand.
>They are numb
>Okay, I'll just sit here for awhile and wait for the feeling to come back
>SIX
>HOURS
>LATER
>I still can not move
>I have called no one and have not responded to a single text-Im scared they'll laugh at me.
>It is now 2am. The gym is almost certainly empty.
>I decide I can just drag myself to the showers and sit for awhile
>Flop down from the toilet and crawl out of the stall without opening the door
>Enter Hallway between bathroom and showers
>The night clerk is looking right at me
>No pants, cock dragging on floor
>Asks me what I'm doing
>A...a body weight routine

I changed gyms the next day.

>ru me?
I'm on a first name's basis with all the staff. Even the people who clean up the weights
We hang out sometimes when they're on shift

I don't know which one of these is the worse

This one is fake
A guy took the time to write all this

...

You realize they probably think youre weird

I have aspergers, which is on the spectrum. However i seem to funtion ok, with only a few greentext moments happening to me each week.

Oh trust me. The stories I've heard from these people. They don't have a right to judge

Kek this has happened to me as well.

I... I don't believe you.

this is me at work too

Funny story, I have a "medical suggestion of possibility" from childhood that means I can claim disability benefits and any other applicable freebies that I might care for but I am not autistic at all - basically means I get free money on top of other income.

>grab barbell a carry it over to bench
>somehow miss one side when trying to rack it
>autistically try to catch it
>smash the fuck out of my finger
>finger is swelling and bleeding everywhere
>people rush over and ask me if i'm okay
>say "y-yeah, Im fine" in a voice that sounds like Im about to cry
>do my entire bench set pretending my finger isn't in immense pain

youtube.com/watch?v=bybmhr8REkM

is this you?

>mfw I laughed
>mfw I realized I do this too

>putting protein into shaker
>spill a little bit over side onto counter
>without thinking I bend down and snort it
>takes me a good 30 seconds to realize what I just did
>mfw

...

>spin plates on bar while resting cuz nothing better to do

Same, makes me feel retarded

>play a round of disk golf
>do a million burpees between baskets
>take my shirt off to keep it clean
>walk into gym without my shirt
>realize my shirt isn't on
>staff looking at me
>freak the fuck out
>grab some water from the fountain
>exit the building in a hurry
>put my shirt back on
>walk out to my car
>shuffle things around in my car for ten minutes
>head back in
>see girl at the desk looking at me
>probably thinking about how long my nipple hair is
>race to swipe my card at the counter
>tell her I gotta hurry
>sprint to the changing room
>face turns white
>she thinks I have to shit

Sup bud, least you ain't me

>be alone doing deadlifts
>right before closing, in a college gym, so everything not bolted to the floor is flung across the other fucking side of the room
>rip horrible ass
>gym qt comes around to grab some 10lb plates
>I see her in mirror
>tell her to stop right there
>looks at me puzzled
>keeps coming closer
>smells it
>cannot hide her visible disgust
>say I'm sorry
>face turns red
>she walks away quickly after grabbing her plates
>avoid making eye contact with her for the next 2 years

Rudiments def underrated br

>>tell her I gotta hurry
>>sprint to the changing room

why the fuck did you say this

>everytime 10pm or anytime I'm alone at the gym lifting
>take off my shirt and my shorts and lift with only my undies
>chant lyrics from various songs. mostly metal. This time it's Stardust Crusaders OST
>quote movie dialogue or chant incoherent words to hype myself up every set
>drink my protein while imagining a futa forcing me to drink her cum
Always go home with a good mood and a great pump after.

first time in a while one of these made me laugh

sum old pasta

wtf

I chew hard gum during every gym workout for the jaw gains and to distract me from the exercise pain. I also save the gum and take it to the next workout, usually get a new piece every 2 weeks or so. Probably pisses off the people around me now that I think about it

also I do neck exercises and barbell hip thrusts and hip abductions, which make people look at me funny

>Gym bro tries and set me up with one of the chicks at the gym
>Tells me to go say hi
>Don't say hi
>avoid eye contact for months
>Girl hates me now
>All girls at that gym hate me now
>Everyone thinks I'm gay

All I've ever known was disappointment I can't even handle these feels how can I handle the feels of being cheated on my chad or becoming a cuck.

hahah. dude you fuckin rule

Holy crap

>doing curls near flat bench
>guy asks "are you using that?"
>thought he asked "CAN I use that?"
>I say "yeah" and give him a thumbs up
>guy leaves and goes to work out in a different part of the gym

iktf

I have done this a million times and not once has anyone ever been able to hear my music. Yet I still do it.

>gym has plants assorted in pots in different sections of the gym
>begin my workout by running my hand through the ones that look like wheat
>pretend I'm maximus from gladiator walking through the wheat fields
>mumble under my breathe "strength and honor"
>catch qt's mirin, occasionally shoot them a glance
>never say a word to them
>listen to white power punk rock while lifting
>imagine hordes of shit skins trying to invade my country
>get pissed and use the rage as fuel for lifts
Those are probably the most autistic things I do besides wearing the occasional tank top that has graphics on it since I've been too much of a jew to go buy a bunch of gym shark outfits.

...

...

inverted diddles or die

How do you meme arrow irl?

I may
I think my moms hiding it from me though
>at therapist office
>guy has scale in his office
>take my shoes off and weigh myself in his office in the middle of our session
>cuddle up with my mommy because im tired
>therapist ask me to leave so he can talk to my mom privately
>mom later tells me that the therapist was curios if i had autism
Its kind of like when you used to believe in elementary school that your mom paid everyone to hang out with you and everyone in the school was in on it

>listen to white power punk rock
recommendations?

if it works it works

>like when you used to believe in elementary school that your mom paid everyone to hang out with you
wut

I never bring my phone to the gym cuz then I'd keep fiddling with it

fackin gottim mate

Checked

>>It reminded me of my chinese cartoons.
is this what went through your mind while you were getting btfo? fucking hell user

If you aren't only bringing salt to the gym and munching on it in between sets, what's the point?

Wow so alpha user, let me guess you being your onahole out with you too

10/10

...

oh my god

>go to gym
>get tired
>feel like everyone looks at me
>feel like a skinny beta
>leave

I'm sorry but this doesn't even make sense

Looks to me you probably didnt tip her huh?

>pull up my shorts so it wont bunch up during sumo deadlift
>people always stare at me since my quads are reaching candito levels

You just tell it her voice

Keeeekkkkk