Not gonna make it Veeky Forums

Well the doctor told me that it's not treatable for most persons, but I want to genuinely change so he thinks I might have a small chance.

I fucking hate people with NPD or BPD. You guys are my hardest patients to treat. So self centered, so skewed in your minds. Literally your whole reality is warped.

Fuckin engage in some CBT

>be psychologist
>cry about patients being 'hard to treat'

nigga who forced you to become a therapist?

Get rid of all ego and know true peace

Actually I think before my diagnosis meditation has helped me understand that I'm kinda fucked up. I dont understand the "no ego" thing, though. I'm also kinda afraid of finding out, what lies beneath my ego. Especially that I will find nothing and my character has never existed only my ego.

You will find absolutely nothing under the ego and that's the point. Biological, social and cultural conditioning all build the illusory ego. The second I had a direct experience of this all anxieties and negative thoughts dissolved into this empty space and I felt nothing but peace

I will try it out thanks.

You're welcome user.

>NPD

The only decent thing to do is to kill yourself. You are quite literally evil personified and will never change. Also you'll never be happy because you are "cursed" to naturally be driven to inflict misery and discord on your immidiate circle for your mild amusement and therefore will never a quiet home or hangout place to chill in.

Psychology is mostly bullshit. You're probably not narcissistic.

Breh look it up. It's not about actually being narcissistic.

damn... this hit my feels. I've done so much abusive shit annon, that I can't even disagree. I really want to change. First time in my life that I feel others are more important than me. I want to use this new insight and take actions, before my demons come back and I don't give a fuck again.

I have it too mate.

Can't presume to talk as a specialist at all but pic related really spoke to me. You at least realized you have NPD and you seem to be willing to change, which is a start, but not enough. Something that's resurfacing right now in psychiatry is the use of ego-dissolving hallucinogens (LSD, psilocybin, MDMA) in treating severe mental disorders such as clinical depression. If your psychiatrist has an open mind you might be able to discuss this option with him, and ask him about possible interactions between NPD and those drugs.

Do you fight it? I'm on constant war with myself. Lot's of time I have to force myself to shut up and suck this weird feeling up that I'm something really special. I always tend to self promote myself and stand in the spotlight. It's hard forcing myself to stop it, because the positiv attention I get from it, is the only thing that keeps my self esteem crashing into depression. Inflating my shitty ego is the ny thing that's fun. WTF?

i have schizoid personality disorder.

Thanks I'll ask the doc about it.

The fact that u are posting a thread about wanting to better yourself is already a step in the right direction

>a lot of the environmental factors were present in my childhood
>the same shit i've been making steps to get over and forget in social situations

If you're actually serious about this and want to better yourself the first step would be to leave Veeky Forums behind. This place breeds narcissism

Veeky Forums is the only place, where I can wright about ths without being ashamed. Even though this place is toxic, it kinda helped me a lot. Veeky Forums got me into lifting and martial arts. Veeky Forums made me appreciate books. And on some days I just come here to let out some feels. I need a proper substitute. Any idea?

>I just got diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder
Fuck off Raffy.

Or Trappy.

Or Sean.

Or Blueshoes.

Or Panzer.

Or anonymous faggot.

I'm pretty sure I'm a normal straight guy, though. Never doubted my gender or felt bad about it.

Humans are just monkeys with pretend emotions that give meaning to meaningless things. Every thought, every situation, every feeling, everything humans give value to has already been given that value by another, already dead, human being. There's nothing special about one's life and deluding one's self into thinking there's purpose or meaning in anything is exactly what evolution has programmed one to believe. You're not the master of your fate. You're not going anywhere after you die either. "Living with purpose" is a lie cowards tell themselves to the fact that only a few years after you die, nobody will really care and in 100 years nobody will remember you at all.

>nobody will really care and in 100 years nobody will remember you at all.
This is why you should have children.

*tipping intensifies*

>t. pic related

So that they can have children and die too? Maybe I'll revel in all the accomplishments they'll make like being an A+ student, getting into a good school, and having kids of their own so I can bounce them on my knee and reminisce about the good ol' days.

Happiness is an illusion. Life is pointless. Be selfish.

When you dispose of the ego, you're able to feel as if you're one with all things, because what was you no longer exists.

If you can't appreciate something because it will eventually be over, then just use the cheat code to unlock all levels and skip to the end boss: kys.

You need to build a disciplined habit for yourself to adhere to.

Every Sunday:
- Write list of times you were selfish or narcissistic in the last week, and who you fucked over
- Write list of people you (want to) care about. Plan to contact them, meet them, message them.

Also you can be honest with people. Tell them you have problems with narcissism and ask them to tell you in private when you do something rude as you often cant tell - its like autism but different.

And make sure you show you care somehow. Like if you fuck up with someone you need to find a way to make it up to them. Learn to figure out what they WANT and how you can help them get it. Be upfront that you will be the kind of friend where there are big highs and lows.

Learn about iterative prisonner's dilemma and the Tit-For-Tat strategy. The sooner you learn that it is in YOUR LONG TERM SELF-INTEREST to coorporate, the easier it will be to be less selfish in the long term.

Just think: Goldman Sachs is called "the great vampire squid" controlling the world, but they operate on the policy of being Long-Term Greedy. And that means cooperating and helping people in the short term

I'm suffering from the same thing as you op thanks for making this thread

Fuck off sean

only if you Tripcode

its less narcissistic than any other social media

People who got sex changes often have NPD. How does that imply that having NPD means you have sexual identity issues?

Do you believe to have attained enlightenment? Genuine ego death must be at least a mild form of it
How long did you work for it? Please describe your path.

thinking you're fucked up doesn't sound very narcissistic to me

Not that user, but why can't I enjoy my life without having kids. You give having kids as some kind of solution to that other anons conundrum of nothing being important.
But if nothing is important then neither are your shitty kids.

>if nothing is important then
Lots of things are important.

How is your career?

How is your family?

How are your relationships?

How is your use of drugs and alcohol?

What are your short and long term goals?

If you're fucking up at these things, try doing better.

That sounds.... peaceful

Thanks annon I'll try this out. Do you think that because of the nature of the Tit-For-Tat I might start perceiving the issue as a game. I don't trust my perception and decisions towards people anymore. I don't want to show interest in people or help them in order to catch their sympaty. I've done this my whole life. I want to genuinely understand them. I want to feel compassion or feel happy for people.
The honesty part seems the most difficult part. I'll go with that one first. It might trigger something positiv. I need to meet people first, though. Luckily tommrow is friday so I might try going to a bar or something similar. I'm glad I have no social anxiety. At least that's not crippling my social life.

It took me my whole life to understand it, though.... and the loss of all my friends and the support of my relatives. My gf, is too afraid to break up. She avoids eye contact with me. Avoids the same rooms I'm in. I'll set the poor girl tommorow free. She is highly financially dependent on me, so that's probably the reason she can't end it, too. I already got her a new flat behind her back. Bought some furnitures of her taste, too. I hope I can atone a bit for the shitty things I've done to her.