Hey Veeky Forums. What do you do if your long term girlfriend gets fat and won't go to the gym...

Hey Veeky Forums. What do you do if your long term girlfriend gets fat and won't go to the gym? She wasn't really fit when I met her, but she at least had a normal body. Now she's about 20-30 lbs. overweight. I still love her, my family loves her, and she has a great personality, but I'm not as physically attracted to her anymore.

Tell her the truth. FUCK PEOPLE COME ON ITS RELATIONSHIP ONE O FUKCING ONE!!

Tell the truth, user. It's the only way you will both be happy. The truth sucks dicks at times.

Be honest with her, and take all the planning out of lifting. Basically just make a fucking schedule and list of exercises and tell her to show up, you'll do the rest. She'll either love it within two weeks or you'll know she's always going to be fat.

move on

one thing you aren't ever going to do is motivate an unmotivated woman to work out. she already "has" you in her mind so she doesn't have to take care of her physical shape

this is a deep, deep insight into who she is as a person and you should ignore it at your own risk.

she could probably fill your macros for at least a week

There are two things that will happen when you tell her you're losing attraction to her because of her body, which you need to do asap.

1: she loves you enough to be willing to accommodate a lifestyle change and will lose some weight
2: she will leave/cheat on you to validate herself and her shitty habits as acceptable

Either way is a win, because you do NOT want to live a lie with someone you don't find attractive.

My ex was commenting on some dude's facebook with shit like "nice abs" and started mentioning I needed a bigger chest and should start lifting weights. So I did, then she cheated, I kicked her out, and now I pull 10x the pussy I did compared to before I had met her. So, she did me a huge favor no matter what.

That's what I feel I have to do, but my fear is she will end up hating it like the user below you two said. I don't want her to work out only because I'm forcing her too. Maybe I'm being unrealistic though.

Offer to cook for her, make it seem really special and romantic. Once you convince her that from now on you'll be cooking all of her meals as a loving partner make her nothing but eggs. Breakfast 4 eggs, lunch 4 eggs, dinner 4 eggs. Two months and she'll be yoked as fuck bro

A picture of said girlfriend would help us determine what course of action to take friend.

This is so false. Do not listen to this. Do so only after tou reveal how ou feel and if she says she wont try then drop the girl. Ask her WHY she doesn't see it being necessary to take care of herself.

It's deeper than her just being unmotivated. You can BECOME motivated. We can change but she cant do it FOR YOU. It's gotta be fore her because at the end of the day she'll always be in her own head.

so he gets to see her picture get swarmed by horny virgins on Veeky Forums saying LONDON and shit, good plan user

kek

this seems pretty good

>You can BECOME motivated

He didn't post about philosophical "can"

I gave him reality. You are giving him fantasy. I'm in my 30s and have seen hundreds of relationships play out. You are a teen who lives in a fantasy world.

Let me be clear on this: OP's girlfriend *isn't going to ever lose weight*

I can say this with certainty because the statistical likelihood the scale ever goes the other direction is effectively zero.

Veeky Forums isn't for fantasy world shit.

Ask her why she doesn't feel it necessary to take care of herself. Often digging deep and revealing the true reasons why we hold ourselves back can liberate us from those very chains. Deep intimate truthful discussion of the situatuion without blame will help.

Look up Dr. John GOttman. He is an amazing man who has studied couples communication for over 30 years and has the best advice for doing so.

It's only way to determine. For all you know OP has some high standards. Maybe OP is a fat ass too. It's Veeky Forums after all. No one is fit here lol.

Tell me where you have struggled and the over come it?

Come now. You can't have this much of a pessimistic view of the world.

I will admit finding purpose and meaning in life is extremly dificult and a lot of people fail at it. I know I have. I'm 29 and I've had my share of struggle. But I learn from it. Took me awhile to even learn that. I'm not the same person I was 5 years ago and FAR from the person I was at 19.

We are constantly changing. For the worse or the better. It isn't fantasy. Its hard work and dedication. ANd yeah. It sucks and is awesome all at the same time.

Then she is a selfish prick, which is a red flag. Think about that for a second. I will assume that you are fit and have a nice body. She gets all the fun physically and the emotional stability she needs without giving nothing in return, as a matter of fact, she takes away by being lazier everyday.

It's hard OP. If you demand her to be more fit you will be labeled as a pig. If you go with the flow she will end up sucking up even your happiness. Out of all, I choose the first option.

Is any one woman really worth so much effort? There are more fish out there.

it's not about me
it's not about a man
it's about a fat woman, user

i'm an adult, you're a teen, i have seen life, you have a fantasy view of it

>mfw thinking of her hurting

Lucky bastard.

Thanks

In similar situation. Gf was getting a little chubs so I told her. She didn't take it well

>you're supposed to like me for who I am
>you are never supposed to tell a woman she's fat
>I would still love you if even if you were fat (a load of bullshit that is btw)

That being said after her emotional breakdown she actually did start hitting the gym and losing weight. She's rather not have me be a part of it though. She reached average BMI just last week.

Ultimately you're just providing your honest feelings to your girlfriend. It's her decision on how she reacts to it. If she doesn't want to change her body, at least make sure she knows that it bothers you and it's hard for you to be attracted to her. Don't live lies.

Simple OP. Find old pictures of her when she was skinnier and masturbate to them in her presence.

The 'liking me for who I am' part is the worst meme for females. In a monogamous relationship? Be yourself, a lazy slob that lets themselves go. It's not like the man will just leave because of it.
Shit's disrespectful.

What other behaviors and thoughts did she show?

this is disgusting, what is wrong with you people?

Fucking feeders

ask her if she wants to start getting healthier with you
cook good meals together, go on hikes and shit

Had it happen to me. I told her and she got upset and I just told her sorry but its my honest feelings. She still didnt work out so after numerous times of getting frustrated I started calling her a fat bitch and telling her I can find myself so much better looking women then her and she that she needs to shape up.

Well she started working out but now she's gonna leave me when she is fit. She hasn't said it but I know how these things work. I couldn't watch the girl I love gain weight and destroy herself anymore and thats what I had to resort to.

I'd rather her leave me and still have admiration and love for her then watch her melt into a blob of her former self. It's gonna suck but its what had to be done.

She also said she would be more uncomfortable with being naked in front of me because she thinks I think her body looks bad.

She also said saying she looks fat makes her want to get fit less because it puts her in a self-degrading mood where she emotionally eats.

So I had to reassure her a lot that I still like her and she's still good looking to me. She knows she's fat and she doesn't like it either so she is at least somewhat motivated to lose it. I want to encourage her but I also don't want her to accidentally read my encouragement as subtle hints that her body is gross. Insecurities aren't fun but oh well.

You're doing good work, user. Keep it up.

How's with her and introspection? When she talks about ideas like 'self-degrading mood where she emotionally eats', has she found it by thinking about behavior, or by just picking a meme about female behavior?

Serious question, I sometimes see chicks that seem to meme more than think.
"user, don't tell me about CICO and satiety-inducing foods! I need to do this (weight loss) alone, so I feel like I do it for myself!"
--- 2 weeks later---
"user, I've gained 3 lbs more! When fall comes, start training me as a PT in [our college] gym."

>She also said saying she looks fat makes her want to get fit less because it puts her in a self-degrading mood where she emotionally eats.

lol, you will NEVER reach this one, abort now

literally looking to make you the emotional bully who forces her to eat, its landwhale sjw mindset, thats who she is as a person, cannot will not change

Nah user, let's not go into stereotypes. Let's wait till user explains her woman's mindset before saying shit like that.

But desu, if accounting for the small bits of evidence, then the "self-degrading mood where she emotionally eats" shit sounds like external locus of control, there's no agency on her part in that idea.

Can she control her behavior when even her model of behavior doesn't involve making conscious choices that lead towards a goal?

Yes, she feels bad, but that doesn't automatically lead to eating. She is the person grabbing for the spoon, not the emotions that she uses to justify it.

I dunno, she browses the internet a lot so I won't be surprised if she meme'd it up. I believe she's an emotional eater though, and food gives her comfort.

I said to myself if she's still overweight by the end of the year I'm going to really consider leaving. That's plenty of time to lose it. She's already lost a bit of weight so there's hope.

It's funny that she says I'm supposed to like her for who she is. Liking her for who she is is literally the main reason why I'm still with her, because I'm certainly not there for her body right now.

stereotypes exist for a reason

Yes, they exist as a tools to simplify complex behavior. But there's not enough information to make any major judgements about her.

Now, if she'd be into body acceptance and being a fat unapologetic fuck, because eating cake feels better than hitting the treadmill, that would show quite accurately that she's a SJW trashpile.

You don't even have to go to the gym to lose weight.
Almost all of the women in my extended family have been a normal weight for as long as I've been alive, and none of are heavily into fitness. They just don't eat like pigs.
Like you don't even have to make your gf go to the gym and do something "hard". She just has to stop eating, and if she can't do that then you should show her the door.

I'm almost certain she's not a fat-acceptance SJW. I've told her that I'm not attracted to fat, and that she's allowed to do to her body whatever she wants and I'm allowed to react however I want. She does seem to really want to lost it. My main worry right now is if she is able to do it or is going to fall back on "I'm having such a hard time in my life right now" or "I'm too pathetic" and other self-deprecating thoughts/excuses.

Make her clean her room

ayyy. my girlfriend's fat as fuck too. She was around 140 when I met her (she's tall at 5'9) now she's 205. I've called her fat so many times straight up, even her family has called her fat. It doesn't change anything. She cries but I never take it back because it's just a fact not a mean opinion of mine.

I tried getting her to take an EC stack. She tolerated the side effects much better than me but gave up because she was too lazy to take the pills.

I agree with this guy

Start hanging out with other women, thatll motivate her fatass.

>205
jesus man why are you still with her
unless it's just not that big of a deal to you

Well, we have a kid together haha. She's okay, we get along. I actually couldn't care less about how often we're banging or how hot she is right now. I'm not really sexually attracted to her anymore but it's alright. I'm focusing on my job, my hobbies and spending time with my boy. Occasionally I'll get some time to myself and a nice uninterrupted fap will actually be a really nice thing.

>all this cope
Wow dude, reread your post and notice how freaking sad it is. It's just depressing.

That's fair, I didn't consider age or context.

Do you plan to marry her soon though?

I'm doing alright brah, we're all gonna make it!

No I don't actually. Happy with how things are now, and I've heard all the horror stories involving men getting financially raped so I'm good for now. Luckily our families aren't big on marriage and neither are we.

how much does she like you physically? you may get her thin if you have enough sex with her that it starts counting as cardio

See, the problem with this is often women have to make their OWN mind up about weight loss - having someone else tell them they need to lose weight (unless its a doctor) doesn't work nine times outside of ten as you've found out.

As awful as it sounds, she needs to wake up and smell the bacon herself.

I agree with you, but your reddit formatting made ma fucking angery

Reasonable expectations of her.

By using self-deprecation, she's trying to absolve herself from agency, the very notion that doing things requires a conscious descision, whether it's cutting fat or doing anything else in life. Eating too much is also a conscious descision, if there's no ignorance about the basics of weight loss.

Maybe it's because I'm an eastern euro, maybe because I mostly come upon masochistic females, but does she require a "rock" in the relationship? Someone strong to lean on?

I mean, she knows how it is. It's out in the open (attractiveness and weight). Now, is your current (positive, supporting) help enough or does she needs a 'Daddy', a masculine man who tells her what to do?

Also, what methods are you currently using to help her? Any relapses on her part?

Also forgot to mention, for the love of god, don't bust a nut inside her. If you get her pregnant and the issue remains unsolved, she'll bulk up even more.

Having a kid fucks up a dysfunctional relationship by giving the female more leverage, and at the same time, more pressure (single mothers are not the first choice for men).

The first moment she discovers that your relationship is not conditional (mutual enjoyment and happiness), she's gonna bulk up and not give a fuck about what you feel.

So, try and set her up to have inner motivation, enjoyment of excercise, a hobby of some sort. Something that helps her stay on track. Otherwise, she'll just fall off and start eating more.

>t. femanon

>there is this one qt perky blonde with glassee who I really like. Such qt face

>she has nice tits and she is thicc

>we were on lab project together many times and I fallen in love with her

Promise myself I l ask her out after summer break

>tfw second year uni starts
>she gained a lot of weight and she fat now

I know that feel all too well.

That's why I told my baby mama before she got pregnant that if she ever let herself go and just didn't give a shit, I'd leave. How am I supposed to respect someone as a life partner if they don't respect themselves?

I've got the little man equal time so child support is no issue, plus the new lady never wanted to give birth so it wound up being win-win for me

Date n smash, on the off chance she drops weight you get the thicc qt back.

If not then a slampiggy is always fun anyway

>12 eggs a day
>yolked as fuck
:') based user

Youhavetoeatalltheeggs.jpg

Vaginal birth tear that shit up did it?

C-sec is god's gift

>22
>never been in relationship
>Veeky Forums
I don't think I could physically handle a GF who got fat once we got together. I'd struggle so hard not to tell her she was getting fat and I didn't like it.


My condolences bro.

Oldfag here, this guy is right

Remain miserable at your own risk OP

Sad!

I hope all the anons so desperate to get a GF read this and realize it's not always great and that you need to be selective.

But that will destroy her health... Not worth

But that will destroy her health... Not worth

You guys always do this wrong. Have a friend tell her she's a fat pig.

>Break up with her
>Give her BS cliche reasons, don't say it's the weight
>Next time you consider a long term relationship make sure the woman is very devoted to health and fitness completely independent of you

She needs to prioritize fitness on her own. Get a qt lifting gf, because you can't turn a fatty into one. Good luck.

Confronting her with your "feelings" never works.

You gotta do shit to make her feel self-conscious, like pinching her backfat, letting her catch you staring at skinny girls, avoiding showing affection in public, etc.

The only reason she got fat was because you let her feel comfortable in the relationship.

>Do you plan to marry her soon though?

Kill yourself before you sneeze out any more terrible advice.

Really worried this is happening to me
>Started out iwth GF going to gym with me, going on hikes etc
>Now she's having lots of joint pain and does zero exercise
>Can't tell if she's lying and just getting fat for fun
>Has been eating an awful lot

>Have her eat at least a little better (or a little less)
>Have her walk @ least 30 minutes a day, doesn't have 2 B @ gym.
>& like some1 else here said; be honest w/ her.

Why are you complaining?

You'll soon have your own personal brapphog.