At doctor's

>at doctor's
>are you sexually active

Your response Veeky Forums

An honest answer..? do you think they give a shit? They're trying to help you.

I would say yes despite being a KV at 21.
It's pretty embarrasing to anwer the question truthfully

Always lie to your doctor. They'll be impressed and more likely to have sex with you.

Yes, because I am?

Don't do this. Questions like the OPs are a kind of shit test. They can tell if you're sexually active or not (nurses are taught this in their patient relations classes), whether you lie about it tells them if you'll lie about other things too.

What happens if you lie? Never been asked this but I'd say yes despite being a virgin. Or I'd at least say something that it's been a while (like 3-6 months)

>N-no b-but for you I'd m-make and ex-c-c-ception

Then he'd ask me to pull my pants down

Go in holding your vape and they won't even ask.

what does sexually active mean anyway? currently or ever?

>caring what your doctor thinks about you

"I'm not, care to fix that?"

If anyone feels like that have to lie to their doctor about this sort of thing or anything for that matter then I have bad news for you son, you aint gonna make it. The insecurity levels are fucking insane in some of you. what you think some 50 year old bloke gives any amount of shit about this? Even if its a women, they deal with an absurd amount of 'embarrassing' things daily anyway

>doctor
Bitch please, most of us in the states probably haven't seen a doctor in years.

H-how do they know?

>he saw a doctor years ago

What's it like being in the percent?

no doctor would ask that you retard, the only cases where it would be relevant will be obvious because you go there after you caught those stds

They know not to trust anything you say then. Haven't you ever seen house? That's about the time house makes them break into their house and look for clues

say no, I have a gf but only have like sex once a month because I've got no libido for dat der

>no libido
Your hormones are fucked. Try going high fat low carb. I can go every day and I'm 33, I feel like I'm mid-20s again for sex drive.

maybe!?

user I went in for a torn menisc and got asked that.

No

"no"

How hard is that?

>start crying

>tell the doc you just lost your virginity on the way over

always wanted to do that

No, not in a relationship atm and don't do one night stands, no reason to lie to a doctor if you don't tell them the truth it can mess with your diagnosis.

maybe you are just incredibly attractive

This.

>the fuck you think faggit

It doesn't mean if you're currently sexually active it means did you ever have sex basically. A lot of diseases can take months or years to develop fully.

Y-you too...

No that's not what it means.

How do I know? Because when you answer yes to that question they just follow up with a reminder to protect yourself against STDs.

They see you virgin waiting in the waiting room, then virgin walking in, then you do the virgin sit, and then you top it all of with the virgin speech and virgin eye contact.

"Well I'm here because of prostatitis so wtf do you expect?"

Haven't had sex in over a year.

You guys need to get a grip if you can't tell random people that you're not having sex. They don't give a fuck and even if they do, why should you?

Top kek, stop being a low-agency faggot and get some fucking health insurance. Costs like 10 bucks to see a doctor.

Probably recently. Honestly within the last month would probably be good.

I fuck my onahole every night so yes.

kekd

not since may

The vape no sex meme is too funny. Me and my smoking hot 5'6" 110 lb gf like to lay on the bed drenched in sweat and blow fat vape clouds after fucking like animals. feelsgoodman

This. I do keto and I can fuck multiple times a day where before I had a hard time keeping it up for the duration and could almost never cum

I am. Its not hard to get laid guya. Just do it

things that never happened vol. 305.

Send fucking help lad.

I don't even know where to begin. My instincts or are broken or something. Even if I know a girl is flirting with me, and I flirt back I don't know what to do after.

Virgin sitting?

>are you sexually active
"No, I just kind of lie there."

My chart says "High risk sexual behavior" because I've been seen for 2 STD check ups in 1 year. So they say "Are you still engaging in high risk sexual behavior?"
>mfw have to say no

Sauce?

Do daily masturbations count?

Engage? Worse they can say is no.

N-no

No, but i just had my first colonoscopy yesterday.

>not being able to get laid

i don't get how people can live like this. are you really that ugly? do you not shower? that's the issue and why haven't you fixed it?

Forgot pic.
I just got fat when ex left me. Working on getting the weight down though.

weird, i've always lost weight after break ups. i have a gf right now and she loves eating pizza neither of us are fat but it can get annoying to deal with

Yes. Ive had 4 partners in the last 4 months, all of them claimed to be tested and clean. I used condoms pretty consistently, though there were incidents of unprotected contact. I havnt noticed anything unusual. Id like a full panel though to be careful. Thanks doc.

My ex was with me for 4 years, so it really bummed me out. So after classes I just played halo and drank a lot of beer for about a year.

Fuck that shit, you wanna know how my last time went ?

>make appointment for check-up
>get some 2 minuite-slot around 9 am in 8 weeks because state-insurance, not real insurance
>work on sunday, so i can take the morning of the appointment off (still have to be there at 12:30 though)
>get there at 8:45
>queue in front of the office is already 20 people
>get to front desk at 9:20 because everyone thinks they need to tell the clerk their life's story instead of simply handing over their insurance card, like she asked.
>get told to go to waiting room
>sit there with old guys who try to initiate a conversation with me.
>Their breath smells terrible and they try to cough in my face
>ignore them and watch netflix on my phone(better then reading shitty magazines)
>kid in the corner screams the entire time, so i put in my headphones on both ears
>sit there for two hours until my name gets dropped(11:30 by now, have to be at work in an hour)
>sit in after-waitingroom-waitingroom for 20 mins
>finally get called into office
>sit there alone for another 10 minutes
>nurse comes in, draws blood types some shit in the computer
>leaves
>sit in there alone for another 10 minutes
>realise i am not going to work anymore today, so i call my boss
>he is not an ass and says it's ok, we are just going to appoint you for some extra hours on friday
>20 mins later, the actual doctor comes in
>"say Ahhh, please take off your clothes", does a bit of touching, types into computer
>1 minute later
>"everything's alright, have a good afternoon"
>"but what about my pain in the lower back area ?"
>"honestly, i should already be in my lunch break, so i'm not going to bother. Just lay still for a few days and it will most likely go away. If not, feel free to make another appointment."
>leaves room
>be home at 13:00

Totally fucking worth it, if you ask me.

>I do have a boner right now miss
>I guess I am now miss doctor
>Only when the doctor is female ;)

No. How do I know?
Because I ask that question when someone presents with symptoms where I would have to consider pregnancy or STD as the cause.

>.t M.D.

>donate blood
>ask a million questions on whether or not you've had sex in the past two years, had sex out of the country, gone to another state and fucked, etc.
>don't just ask whether or not you've had sex

>donate blood
>have to fill out questionaire along the lines of "you 'avin HIV, m8 ?"
>get approved for free STD testing.

>Are you still engaging in high risk sexual behaviour?
>I fucked this fat chick yesterday while riding a unicycle
>Good to see your being more careful!
>It was bareback
>Sorry sir, but you are hiv-positive.

bummer my dude. time to start a thread about lower back pain. the info you get cant possibly be worse than this

already did, according to Veeky Forums i am going to die of hernitated spinal disks.

If it's a girl doctor (nurse?) I say no, if it's a guy I say yes

Back upright, neck slouched forward, eyes below parallel

So I have to be slouched over, neck straight, and look directly at the lights on the ceiling and no one will suspect me of being a virgin?