FPH thread, for all your fat hate needs

Impotent fatty rage edition: Hamplanet goes after GF with a baseball bat, because she denied him

>Koolaid

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4801584/Twin-Peaks-actor-charged-second-degree-murder.html

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=JEVago2PKn0
youtube.com/watch?v=OvA8iVbub2o
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>This guy has/had a girlfriend

I'll Dump what I've got.

...

Now he has twenty years in jail. Does jail even serve koolaid?

>reminder to not let fatties into your store
>do not let them try on the merchandize
>they are sows
>who sow destruction
>and they shit in the dressing rooms

part 1
>Be me, used to work in a beauty/bridal/fashion/lingerie shop. I was hired as the store's on-site web designer, but I somehow was roped into spending most of my time in the bridal section helping customers. This was also where the dressing rooms were located.

>Around March a lot of people were planning weddings, and I was sitting with a bride-to-be helping her pick colors for her wedding. Somehow I didn't notice a planet roll up to the counter, but I definitely heard her roar.

>"Shit, ain't nobody work here?"

>I look up to see Lardzilla, who was probably around 5'4 and had to be at least 400 lbs. I quickly break from the bride to assist this monster.

...

part 2
>Me: "What can I do for you today, ma'am?"

>Lardzilla: "I needs some titty slings"

>Me: O_O "I'm sorry, what?"

>Lardzilla: "I need me some titty slings, I gotta look sexy for mah man," she says as she cups under her "titties" and lifts them up under her shirt in a "provocative" (read: fucking disgusting) manner.

>I manage to hold back vomiting all over her and point her in the direction of the lingerie. Apparently that's not good enough.

>Lardzilla: "No, I don't know what size I is. You needs to measure me"

>I scream internally, cursing the Beetus Gods, but agree to take her measurements. I grab my measuring tape and show her to the dressing room. I quickly realize I am unprepared. The smell of something like beef stew mixed with sweat and shit hits me hard in the face. I gag but carry on, trying not to breathe. She has to hold the tape while I walk around her, lifting her "titties" to get her under bust measurement. I go to note the measurement and actually let out a small "eek" sound. She was 58 inches around. I stop right there and inform her we don't carry anything in her size.

>Lardzilla: "Shit, I'mma go look 'round. I betchu got somethin I can wear. I got a big date tonight," she runs her hands over her rolls, still topless.

...

part 3
>I can't even. I just turn around and walk away. I see her a few minutes later carrying at least 10 bras into the fitting room. About 20 minutes later, she waddles out, arms now empty. She continues waddling right out of the department and leaves the store without speaking to any employees. I figure she was just upset she couldn't find a bra, but a few minutes later a coworker calls me over to the fitting rooms. She has a look of horror on her face, and tears are welling up in her eyes. Coworker doesn't say anything, just points. I look in the room and bend over to pick up the bras Lardzilla left on the floor when both the smell of beefstew, sweat, shit and piss hits me and my coworker yells

>"DON'T PICK THAT UP JENNIFEARZ, IT'S... MOIST."

>I look back at her and see she's actually crying.

>Coworker: "I touched it. I actually touched it before I realized what someone did to it." She turns and runs to the bathroom and I nope the fuck out of there.

>I call a male manager and tell him he needs to see this (and clean it up). He walks over a moment later and picks up the filth barehanded, holds it close to his face and sniffs. His face quickly contorts into what I can only describe as terror mixed with disgust. He drops the bra and walks back to me.

>Manager: "Holy shit, someone actually pissed on the bras. I can't fucking believe it. Did you see who it was?"
I give him a quick description of Lardzilla and he says he'll check the lingerie section security cameras to get a picture of her and that she's banned from the store. He washes his hands, grabs latex gloves and a coat hanger and lifts each bra into a trash bag using the hanger.

...