My girlfriend constantly complains about how she hates her body, how she is flabby and doesn't like herself, etc

My girlfriend is the same. I've suggested she try eating less if she isn't happy with her weight (she looks fine) or she can do more cardio or come to the gym with me, but there's always some argument as to why she doesn't have to do any of them.

She says she always skips meals and barely eats anyway, so she can't eat less.

She doesn't want to pay for a gym membership.

She thinks walking 2-3x a week for half an hour and doing her HIIT workouts should be enough cardio for her to lose weight. She has some small dumbbells and I made her up a little routine to build some muscle on her arms and chest but I don't think she does that often.

I've tried explaining that if none of those are working for her and she's still unhappy then maybe she should try something different and do what I've tried to explain to her but she's adamant that it won't make a difference. She's sad I keep getting bigger, heavier and leaner and I'm making progress but she isn't.

I have kinda given up at this point and just sympathize with her whenever she's upset about it. Summer is also coming up so she keeps getting sad at the thought of us going to the beach with our friends, but I dunno what I can say to her at this point. I'm changing my diet and spending longer in the gym to try and cut down for summer, I'm waking up early to hit the gym before I go on placement. I'm making sacrifices so I can look how I think I want to, but she doesn't have the willpower to do the same so I just have to accept that.

Rape her and tell her the only opinion of her body she should value is yours.
Then take her out to do some type of physically active couples thing.

>Can people truly be instigated to change, if the driving force doesn't come from within?
No. This is why you shouldn't hate on fat people ,thank your parents and curb your self-praise since your achievements were the doing of your subconscious (mainly).

>She thinks walking 2-3x a week for half an hour and doing her HIIT workouts should be enough cardio for her to lose weight.
It is

>I have kinda given up at this point and just sympathize with her whenever she's upset about it. Summer is also coming up so she keeps getting sad at the thought of us going to the beach with our friends, but I dunno what I can say to her at this point. I'm changing my diet and spending longer in the gym to try and cut down for summer, I'm waking up early to hit the gym before I go on placement. I'm making sacrifices so I can look how I think I want to, but she doesn't have the willpower to do the same so I just have to accept that.

That's just sad, man. It's a shame your good example isn't rubbing off on her in some way. You sound like a cool, nice dude.

Then where does change begin? If it's always determined by forces beyond our control then why do anything ever?

Fate is for people who seek to romanticize and make spiritual the mundanities and horrors of life.

If we can't make them think about our unconsciously justify a lifestyle of sickness and sloth and greed then there is no hope for anyone.

Ah the good old determinism vs free will debate.

Dude, these people think a woman needs to power lift and go to a gym for the rest of her life to be fit and look good

Daily walks
Interval training
Basic bitch calisthenics/dumbell routines
Skipping breakfast salads for lunch and eating a large healthy supper or occasionalyl skipping super.
Drinking only water and only spoiling herself occasionally.

Bam.
Simple as fuck and doesn't cost a fucking dime.

Your subconscious self that takes decisions about your life is not beyond your control. But, it is very difficult to explore this and find the root conflicts.
One should reject the accepted western narrative of being a free individual, 100% responsible for his life choices. Failures - and successes- are pre-decided. Then your conscious self congratulates you about your perseverance/willpower and you post stupid shit on fat hate thread and edgy jpegs on the motivational one

i feel you user

Women don't complain to men for them to fix the problem they complain because they want you to validate them

This, OP. Your gf wants you tell her - and really mean it- that you love her no matter what.
THEN she MAY go to the gym

>you will never be this mentally ill

here's a tip that will help you your whole life

when people complain about their problems, they are looking for a response, but there are two types of people who prefer two types of responses. call them instrumental and empathetic. or masculine and feminine, since usually men are of the first style and women the second, but not always

masculine style is to share your problems expecting actionable advice, sometimes because you don't know what to do, but often for simpler problems with obvious answers to reinforce your ideas about what you should end up doing. a back-and-forth of this style might be like, your buddy complains he's fat, you suggest the gym. he says he doesn't know what he'd do there, you offer a routine. etc. whether he does or doesn't follow through isn't the point, it's that he expects the exchange to proceed along instrumental lines

feminine style is to share your problems expecting *empathic signalling*. your girl complains she's fat, you suggest the gym, she absolutely loses her shit even though you were just trying to help. men often see this as irrational or hysterical behavior, but it isn't really, it's just a clash between two sets of communication norms that both parties usually just take for granted. you'd probably get just as bads a reaction if you replied to your buddy seeking advice by saying no of course he isn't fat, he doesn't need to change, etc, he'd think you were mocking him. but this is how most women naturally talk to each other, making an emotional display and bonding by the other party mirroring your emotional state back at you. demonstration of empathy

anyway you can probably tell I'm autistic as hell and only figured out shit like this through paying very close attention to people for a stupid amount of time and systematizing their behavior. tl;dr just kiss her and tell her she's pretty, women who think like men (identify problems dispassionately and strive to solve them) are rare

Girls are notorious for this shit. There's little you can do about it, she's lazy and weak an undisciplined as a person.

If she was actually doing HIIT 2-3 times per week and not eating horribly she almost certainly would see a positive change. But her heart rate has probably never been withing 25% of its max and she doesn't even know what high intensity means.

Skipping meals and living on 1000 calories per days is not the way to look good. Eating little and often and maintaining a good nutritional diet at maintainance is how women keep looking good. Obviously if you need to cut fat then you reduce the calories, but more importantly you stop eating all the junk food you're almost certainly eating.

Allahu Akbar, brother. It is written.

accepting someones laziness isn't cool

Sounds like she is just baiting for compliments from you and doesn't actually want to improve.

This is the problem with girls, they don't grasp simple understandings

Find a girl who can, with an exception to op

this is accurate

>women who think like men (identify problems dispassionately and strive to solve them) are rare
Thank fuck. My ex was like that. Would NOT recommend.

Y tho

She complained so that you could tell her, "I love you the way you are" or some gay shit like that. What you gotta do is say, "hey im headed to the gym, wanna come?" And add something enticing to the end of the offer.

This is all coming from an slightly autistic person , but there ya go:
Deep down she still WANTS to be treated like a lil girl and the cognitive dissonance between going out and doing shit and asking big daddy to solve all her shit results in a hell of a crazy bitch.

Boy, do you misunderstand women.

She didn't want you to fix her problem. They never do. By suggesting a way to fix it, you are implying that she cannot find it herself, and therefore that you are smarter than her. You can never do that.

Secondly, she was most likely fishing for a compliment. She wanted you to hold her, kiss her on her forehead and tell her that you love her body and that she doesn't need to change. By suggesting she should work out, you are (in her mind) affirming that you think she should lose weight. This you can also never do.

Now of course you didn't call her dumb or fat at all but that doesn't matter. To women, feelings are more important than facts. You made her feel bad and therefore what you did was wrong. End of discussion. This is also why an argument is instantly over when a women starts to cry. Crying is the definitive proof that you made her feel bad, and therefore are wrong.

I know it's retarded and makes no sense, but that's women for ya.

Good point. If you look into what's taught by people who managed to turn their life around, true change is the result of altering your self-image. The changes are the result of that. Your subconscious is in the driver's seat, you just need to nudge it in the right direction.
Getting fit is a result of going to the gym and perceiving what you need to be, until your ego thinks of you like that and will follow suit in behavior. Motivation only plays a role initially, but it won't get you far on its own. Good habits will.

shoo shoo gains goblin

Nigga summer is about to end dafuq

>tfw you know all those things, but generally dont give a fuck about women's bullshit and just say whats on your mind

Only beta's adapt their behaviour to irrational female crap

There is nothing wrong with avoiding confrontation every once in a while. The right approach is to find a girl that doesn't act like an irrational child.
OP, can you elaborate on what happened? How bad did she take it? What did she do?

/thread

Seems hot adorable and mostly annoying. Any stories?

user, there is a thing called the Southern Hemispheres, below the equator, where the seasons are the opposite of what they are in the north.
You should seriously pick up a book along with your weights, and become /fitlit/.

There is only one southern hemisphere. That is why it is called a hemisphere. It means half of a sphere. If there were two or more southern hemispheres, the entire earth would be southern or worse yet a third half of the earth, somehow also southern, would exist somewhere in the universe.

Not adorable, just crazy.
It's like just pick a mode of being jeez, I never have any idea whether I can trust you to handle yourself (like a dude) or boss you around and take charge. And most times there's no right answer and whatever I do ends in a fight.
I'm no walk in the park either, but I'm glad it's over.

in addendum: the assertive side of her still had that hard-coded female undercurrent, fuck that shit fuck it all

>Today I tried suggesting that if she worked out, she would both look and feel better about herself.
You Fool!
The solution was to listen to her and tell her you'll always love her no matter how much of a disgusting entitled sloth she becomes!

she doesn't want to accept that she needs to grow the fuck up and do something about it, just like i didn't want to accept that life is more than working for my father untill he decides to retire

Holy shit this is true

Man, it must suck to be so hard up for pussy you need to date a literal infant.