>Sick and tired of not being able to take a shit at work without toilet looking like pic related.
Why is it that micro penis betas are too paranoid to use the urinal like normal people?
It's not like anyone's actually looking at your cock
Also, fatties it's comedic for your weak sputtering stream to amplify in a quiet bathroom when you piss in the stall
I know you're fat as fuck but going to the bathroom still doesn't count as cardio so /fit unrelated.
I only pee on the seat because I have aids and I hope you get them too
Do what I do. Practice wall sits until you have enough leg gains to hover your ass a few inches above the bowl indefinitely.
>2017
>still pooping
SHGGGY
You micro penis homos are always posting your shit jelking threads so yes this is Veeky Forums related
Also best advice I've ever gotten on here
>doesnt shit in the urinal
>has the nerve to call other people 'beta'
If you seem the slightest bit uncomfortable when you piss next to me, I WILL stare directly at your small cock. wtf are you going on about. You will never be alpha until you master the urinal.
this
I go into the bathroom stall to sit on the toilet and wipe my sweat off and cum into the toilet paper dispenser
the best part is that you wouldn't do shit to me even if you knew what I was doing because you are a pussy
I go into the handicrap stall and piss into the sink/trashcan/tp dispenser
I think you're confusing two separate issues.
Yes, betas will go to a stall even if a urinal is open. But they will lift the seat because they are afraid of getting in trouble.
However, whenever you see urine where it isn't supposed to be (toilet seat, the floor in front of the urinal, etc.) THAT is done almost exclusively by niggers.
>Inb4 "go back to /pol/", I haven't gone there in months. Also, fuck you, because you know I'm right.
My top tip on this matter is always go for the middle cubicle. It is always the cleanest, due to peoples aversion to the risk of being boxed in between two stallmates. The end cubicles are the shittiest without fail.
>1.5% of people in britain are gay
>this freak who takes pictures of other people's piss wants me to take a chance at a wall where i get my cock out in front of other guys
the risk is too high
I piss in the stall because my cock leaks for severt minutes after I piss. So most of the time im standing in there squeezing my cock head until its completely drained. Dont want to stand at the urinal that long.
See a doctor
Anyone else here take their own toilet seat to work? I can't piss or shit without my normal toilet seat so I carry it around. Its fucking annoying though because it requires a huge backpack and i HAVE to take my backpack everytime I need to shit at work. People make fun of me because they think I keep toilet paper in my backpack (which is what I tell them). A guy saw me once getting the toilet seat adjusted because I forgot to close the cubicle door - I am a manager though so I threatened to have his wife fired (she works at the same business) and threatened to have him fired for sexually harassing me, ruining their relationship.
Kek
Just wear a diaper, bro. They're not at all like baby diapers - you can't even tell I'm wearing one under my pants. Then if I have to take a shit, I just go and make my way to a bathroom when it's convenient. Couple of baby wipes and I'm good.
I tried this the first time when The Wolf of Wall Street came out and I didn't want to have to go during the movie. Turns out, I would have missed some of the movie but instead I just waited until it was over to change up.
Since then, I've taken to wearing one anytime I might have to shit at work or in public - especially at sporting events where people are downright disgusting. Long drives are also a piece of cake now.
Seriously...it's a huge anxiety reducer. Highly recommended.
Why not carry it around your neck, like some kind of avant-garde necklace?
If anyone asks, say you have a disability and it's a structural aid.
Depends on your poops, surely?
Watery poops must be hell, as must be enormous poops.
I have a friend who only shits every couple of days, and its always enormous.
Explosive diarrhea would be a problem just from clean up. But I can always tell if I'm at risk for that. Usually it's somewhere between pudding and banana bread and so it stays contained. Big poops are no issue. These things can handle a pretty good sized load.
>It's not like anyone's actually looking at your cock
I do that all the time, No homo
How would you feel if someone came into your home mkay pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your moms face?
Peter gazers get their wigs split
Yeah I would cause you're a bitch, post cb or gtfo
Niggers gonna nig
Both good work arounds but adult diapers are ultimate efficiency
lol