Banned from the gym

I've dun goofed now, Veeky Forums.

>in gym, pretty new so still nervous there when other people around
>a lot of people there this evening
>I'm a kissless virgin loser
>2 teenage qt girls are squatting next to me
>one of them comes up to me and asks me if they can take the plates next to me (which I'm not using)
>she is really pretty so I'm spilling spaghetti really badly as I mumbles that it's okay
>she notices it and gets a little grin and goes back and whispers to her friend
>her friend soon comes up and start asking me questions, fake-flirting with me in an obvious way to mock me
>I try to ignore it and brush it off but I can feel myself blushing and tears starting to appear in my eyes
>she walks back and whisper to her friend and they both giggle a little
>I just snap inside, I don't know what happened but I felt all the anger over the years coming up from my inside
>I grab the curl bar like a sword, charge the girls and slam the cutest of them all I can on the shoulder
>she falls to the floor and I turn to the next and
she barely dodges my hit and jumps away screaming
>2 big guys tackle me and hold me down before I can strike again and they are furious
>they keep telling me who the fuck I am to hit a young girl and they call me a psycho as they hold me down, hurting me
>soon police is called and I'm taken into custody
>I'm facing charges for severe assault with extra harsh punishment since it was directed at a minor
>also got my membership in the gym taken and got lifetime banned from it, every other gym in the chain and if I can trust the owner, soon enough every gym in the country

What the fuck should I do Veeky Forums? Should I bail the country?

You should seriously just fucking kill your self

kek

If I were you I'd just abandon my life and try joining the French Foreign Legion or something. I mean you can work out with them and they won't mind that you hit a girl as long as you're not trying to dodge prison.

Why did you do it though?

Oh god my sides hurt right now
What the fuck is wrong with you user

If she was fake flirting, you could've still owned it and turned the situation into real flirting.

You overreacted and committed assault. Face the charges like a real man.

>>I grab the curl bar like a sword, charge the girls and slam the cutest of them all I can on the shoulder
nahhhhhh i you're fucking lying bro

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nahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Lolis are for headpats only user!!!!!!

>I'm facing charges for severe assault with extra harsh punishment since it was directed at a minor
>also got my membership in the gym taken and got lifetime banned from it, every other gym in the chain and if I can trust the owner, soon enough every gym in the country

good, get a hold of yourself you fucked up son

that is if this actually happened

LARPing gone too far

step 1: kill self
success

Why? they fucking deserved it, mocking me like that. Do you think bullying in the gym is okay? What can I do, they were hot girls. They were probably even physically stronger than me so all I had was the surprise attack and my weapon. Should I just take the bullying?

dude show a piece of the paperwork if you did this. not the parts with your info, just the part that describes what you did. the lil police report thing.

Looks like r9k is your new home now. Go be with your social retard brethren

shit that didn't happen the post

show the police report. no one believes you right now

They were teenagers and you're a full grown adult, the fuck is wrong with you

>>she notices it and gets a little grin and goes back and whispers to her friend
>>her friend soon comes up and start asking me questions, fake-flirting with me in an obvious way to mock me
brings me back to middleschool

;_;

I believe it.

please be real

he was right tho, bitches need to stop acting like bitches just because they are hot.

If you don't wanna kill yourself just play the sympathy card in court by saying you have autism (be honest we all know you do) and they'll prolly let you off on account of "he's speshul"

7/10 made me laugh
If real, please kill yourself

Good job OP. You made the world a better place today

Honestly, I don't think you did a bad thing. These little shits thought that they could go around and act all superior to people, and you taught them that real life doesn't work the same way as in high school. It's a valuable lesson that everyone has to learn at some point. That being said, you can't just beat people with a curl bar whenever they do something mean to you. You fully deserve everything that happens to you, but not because you're a piece of shit, but because you too have much to learn about life. That's what life is about user. It's about making mistakes and learning from them. Don't see it as a setback, look at it as the next step in your life. Accept that you fucked up and realize that you can't undo what's happened. Man up and move on.

P.S. Tyrone is gonna have a good time with you. You done fucked up, white boy.

tell the judge you were just trying to rid spain of dragons

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This sounds more like what you wish had happened, when in reality you probably just dropped more spaghetti and eventually walked back home crying.

Prime THOT patrolling my niBBa. Nicely done!

OP post this on reddit.com/r/legaladvice

They act like that towards you because they can see you are weak. Instead of blaming them for showing you who are, why don't you take the time to improve yourself? Lifting won't cure autism, you will have to cure it yourself.

they were messing with him and thats what they get, i dont see the problem.

reddit in general hates foreveralone or incel types. I don't suggest posting this there unless you want to get mountains of insults and death threats in your inbox

I think you have mental issues, not just the 'tism 95% of people have on this site, but a real and dangerous one if you attack people for asking simple questions.

Fuck outta here with those Instagram memes normie

Sure it sucks to be in that situation but there are much better ways of handling it. If he wasn't a complete tard he would've just walked away. It's just not worth to get a criminal record over some petty revenge. Roasties will be roasties, you can't change people, only yourself.

LMAO

it sounds like you need to train in the No Judgment Zone

kill yourself

if real, get out of the country while you can. Shit does not fly in the US of A. Go to any country, USA can't do shit once you do.
I would recommend Japan. Good gains food, cut off from USA so they can't hunt you down, qt grills

Sounds like you tried to change your outside, but failed to change the inside. You're a danger to society and you deserve to be in jail.

won't you get more jail time if you ever come back? or do you just have to wait out the statute of limitations?

The Chad Slam
The Virgin Joust

This. Do you think that a real Chad would just get bullied like that and do nothing about it. You did the right thing OP, showed those dumb roasties who the true alpha male is.

rofl

this is a legendary thread. should go back to r9k though fit is a gender positive board

what was jail like?

chad respects women fag

no fucking way is this real

You want to know how I know you're a virgin? Lmfao kys beta male

>they were hot girls. They were probably even physically stronger than me

Boy are they gonna have fun with you in prison :D
and for physically attacking a female minor no less.

You did the right thing OP, God bless.

ER was a weak fag

Buy a squat rack and start a home gym

New copy pasta

>Get mired
>Beat girl with barbell

I know this is a troll, but I find the premise very amusing

Post the police report you lying fag

lololol

lol fell for the bait

So then

>you used your newly gained physique to destroy your cell wall
>escape on a 40 mile sprint that not even K9 units can achieve
>make it home
>post on Veeky Forums instead of bugging out with supplies
>sit at computer waiting for responses while police from 7 counties surround your house
>you quietly stroke your picture frame of Zyzz and Rich Piana photoshopped next to you
>on the shelf is your remaining whey powder container
>only 3 scoops left and you know it will be fatal
>"c-can I make it, bros?" you ask the monitor

Cringeworthy post

I see you realizing the power of the force Padawan. But be careful. You must use your the force for good not for bad. Do not let the dark side take over. Or else.......

>attacking minors because they're acting immature
>is a DYEL beta
I'd recommend two doses of a fuckin noose famalam4

> social anxiety autism rage
thanks for the kek OP

probly a lie but you made me giggle.
thank you.

>Lmfao
>Implying you didn't fall for the bait
Newfag detected. Heh, lurk moar, kid.

you are pretty fucked in the head. like yeah, it's uncomfortable, but they're attacking you verbally and you're ramping it up. what you could have done is just tell them to fuck off.

Honestly those bitches fucking deserved it. You weren't really in the wrong in my book, you were just doing what your instincts told you to. Of course, none of that matters, you broke the law.

This desu. If you maybe had some better social skills when it comes to speech, you could've verbally assaulted them (it's legal) instead of physically assaulting them (not legal).

That's a jew lol

OP is bullshitting

?

Are you a literal autist? They were fucking kids dude. Seriously doubt this is legit though. No judge would let someone out on bail for assaulting two minors with a deadly weapon.

I can picture it now lol

No he's not you fucking autistic fuck. If you attack a child because they said something to you it's fucking pathetic and you should either become a hermit and kys.

@ least you ain't b& fr0m th3 'ch0n, amirite?

Lol. Japan would send his fat ass back so fast his head would spin. Also getting a visa to Japan is difficult if you want to be there longer than a few weeks. It would be literally one of the most difficult counties to run away to. Not to mention a fat autistic American would stick out like hell.

Oh sure like my curl bar would be considered a deadly weapon! It's a stick!

Just say you're a Muslim and not used to women talking out of turn.

IDK man when I was in 3rd grade I literally tackled some girl who kept following me around at recess. Whether she liked me or not I don't know, but I got sent to the principal's office. I believe people on this site are autistic enough to do it.

>all the retards thinking this is real
Kek

He should go to Australia or New Zealand then

>metal bar
>not a deadly weapon.
Fuck off retard.

>They deserved it
Autism the thread. No wonder you fucks can't get laid.

Why this threads has some many replies?

This is fake

aren't they largely foreveralone incels as well thoguh?

>at the gym
>need some plates
>weird guy in a hoodie is using the squat rack
>ask him if I can use the plates hes not using on the rack (obviously I can I'm just trying to be polite)
>he mumbles something incoherent
>not sure what he said but he gives me the creeps so I just smile and go back to my friend
>"well now you made it awkward by not taking the weights"
>go back to try and get the weights again
>wanna be polite so I ask him again but try and be more friendly this time
>he mumbles more nonsense, still getting weird vibes from him so I don't take the plates and go back to my friend
>she laughs at me for being so timid and awkward and failing to get the weights TWICE
>feeling very autismo
>suddenly my fucking shoulder explodes
>fall to the ground in agony not sure what happened
>everyone is screaming, there's more loud noises
>turn over and see two guys piled on top of weird guy
>more shouting
>apparently weird guy smashed my shoulder with a fucking curl bar for no goddamn reason
>worst fucking gym ever

Good point

Yeah but they're obsessed with acting righteous and virtue signalling whenever they can

ITT:
>OP posts shit that never happened
GB2 and lurk moar faggot

who would be dumb enough to believe this?

sage

i highly doubt this is real, if this is real consider buying equipment for a home gym since you're not fit to be around the public

I just want to say, thank you, sincerely, for this story, because I am actually shedding tears because of how autistic this sounds

Good story. I'm glad it didn't happen though.

Short for admire

If this is real you deserve to be in a straight jacket or plain jail/prison. Your mental instability clearly makes you a danger to yourself and the people around you, and are too dangerous to be in society with normal people.

My side bro holy shit

Don't come to Australia, we have very strict laws here and becoming an official citizen is very difficult. This place also fucking sucks and I can't wait to move to the USA

Those double dubs just made you the realest user in this thread

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