Hello Veeky Forums, I have never posted here before but I need help...

Hello Veeky Forums, I have never posted here before but I need help. I'm applying for a police position and I have a good shot at getting the job but the problem is I'm a fat fuck who can't do the physical, luckily I have a few months but basically I need to do 40 sit ups elbow to knee in one minute and 30 squat thrusts in one minute, I also need to do 18 side steps from cone to cone to cone 8 feet apart in 10 seconds.

I can't do any sit ups cause my stomach is literally in the way and I can only do 12 squat thrusts. Please give me tips guys on how to improve as much as I can within a few months and what I should be doing every day. Thanks in advance. Pic unreleated

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> i need to do these specific (and extremely easy) exercises in the test
>what do i do every day to prepare?
you really cant figure this out on your own?

Make an effort. That includes reading up before posting.

What do you mean?

So just focus on these requirements or should I do cardio as well?

Read the fucking sticky you fat lazy faggot

Go on low carb diet lose some weight keep working on the requirements also add push ups and sprints in the mix. Sprint 8 40 yard dashes twice a week then go up by 2 each week. So this week do 8 but next week do 10 and so on.

>I have a good shot at getting the job
>So fat he literally can't do a situp
Nigga you are delusional. Get your shit together

I seriously hope these aren't the requirements to be a police officer... jesus

Fuck you, I'm asking about something specific, man I thought the other boards were a little over the top when they said Veeky Forums Is full of angry manlets holy shit

Thank you, just took a screen cap of your post and I will do this

It's Veeky Forums. What did you honestly expect?

I want to lose weight and I want to exercise. Very specific you fat fuck. Read the sticky, if you can't do this then you can't keep up exercising or a diet anyway. Oink Oink.

Specific meaning the requirements you retarded roid raging manlet

>thinks Veeky Forums hates lazy fatties who don't read the sticky because everyone is a manlet

Usually when it's cop vs niggers I don't usually root for the niggers, but in your case...

Just kidding! You will never pass the fitness exam you silly fat fuck.

Yes I will, I will work out and I will meet the requirements. Why you so angry? Just where high heels and you can be a big boy too

I'm probably taller than you. The biggest difference between us is that I have never been fat and you're a lazy asshole who can't even be bothered to figure out for yourself what you need to do to better your life. You're not going to make it tubby. Suicide by cop is the closest you will ever get to the police force.

Kek, well when you lie about your height like in the OP of course you are taller than me online. Don't be mad that I got a good shot at this, already down 7 pounds in one week

Work out your brain first, your biggest problem seems to be what happens outside of the gym. Otherwise you wouldn't be too fat for situps.
So go ahead and read the sticky.

>I lost a bunch of water weight by dehydrating myself so I know a lot about losing fat

You should be more concerned with the written exams than the physical...

I don't need to since an user who isn't a roid raging manlet pointed out that I need to have a low carb diet

Who said I lost weight by not drinking? You retarded user?

You're clearly oblivious to everything regarding dieting. Do yourself a favour and stay away from both the sticky and the police force.

So I shouldn't try to educate myself like I'm trying to now? Maybe give me some tips rather than take your anger from being a manlet out on me

We told you to read the sticky. It tells you everything you need to know. But you won't read the sticky, since you already know more than us anyway. That's why you're fat. It's been a while since I seen someone on here that made me happy to know they won't make it.

Except I will make it and the sticky tells me what to do to do 40 sit ups and 30 squat thrusts in a minute and 18 side steps in 10 seconds?

are you projecting or something bc goddamn literally ever post in this thread you've made has mentioned manlet. these are people on the internet you can't see lmao stop being so angry, maybe one day you'll make it (doubt. it.)

You won't make it. One day you will say "good enough" and that will be the end of it. There's a small chance you might get your doughy self into shape enough to pass the physical and become a cop, but if that what you consider "making it" you will always be a fat disgusting fuck. Even people who normally respect cops won't respect a pile of human compost like you.

>trying to educate self
>goes to Veeky Forums
Just a gallon of milk a day and deadlifts, baby. ez

>Implying most of you aren't manlets

Ironically I fix gym equipment right now for a living and the vast majority of muscle heads are below 6 foot so yes, I know odds are when I call you a manlet, I'm probably correct

If I pass the physical how is that not good enough lol

What do cops do?
>Run after people
>Need strength to subdue people
>Need to spend long hours walking a beat during a parade or something else wearing a ton of gear

You need to get a gym membership and 6 mornings per week get on the elliptical machine or bike. You don't want to start running yet because you're fat and will break your knees plus you need to be taught how to run properly. Elliptical machine is zero resistance so perfect for going absolute bezerker sprints or the bike too. 10 minutes warm up, then spint for a minute and back to usual speed, spint again, back to usual speed, repeat for entire 30-60mins.

Change all your meals to light stir fry. Obtain chicken breast, slice it very thin. Obtain vegetables and cut them in half. Obtain rice cooker or in a pot make 1/2 cup rice. Substitute rice for sweet potato or small baked potato or rice noodles. Go on jewtube and see how to prepare this to make it flavorful youtu.be/mCknnSo6djI

After a few weeks go on instagram and look up "meal prep" and see fitness people who plan out all their weekly meals and copy them instagram.com/mealprepsociety/?hl=en

Now you are less of a fat shit bag. Start doing pullups, pushups, weight lifting. Ask the people at the gym to show you proper form. Do each exercise as slow as possible, one second up, like 5 seconds down. You're fat and out of shape you can't kip or thrust shit around just to bang out reps forget about reps concentrate on form.

Continue for 3 months. Now you can run on a treadmill, do hanging leg lifts to work your abs, and body weight squats to pass all the physical requirements. Congrats you're a cop

That's why you will never make it. You don't belong here. You're like a pot smoker who need to find out how to clean his system long enough to pass a drug test and then go right back to smoking. You don't care about health and fitness. You want to pass a very easy physical and then continue on with your fat unproductive existence. Practice the exercises they will make you do in your physical until you can do enough of them to pass. Now you know. Don't post here anymore. You're wasting board space that could be better used for sip threads, vegan general, or high test fattys.

OP, just fast. You're fat as shit and you need to lose weight fast, but you're too stupid, lazy, and weak to diet and exercise, so just don't eat food at all. It's not as hard as you might think. Just drink lots of water and the fat will come right off. Fast for as long as you can. You said you have a few months, so fast for 30 days if you can. Then refeed slowly and start lifting.
youtu.be/tIuj-oMN-Fk

How do you go off criticizing people for their height when you're a fat fuck lmao

Was that so hard? Thank you

You haven't heard about the 500 pound cops have you

you're such a fucking ingrate. you deserve to fail the test.

You haven't hear about HAES, have you? Just kidding, of course you have!

Can always lose weight, you are done growing

He deserves to fail for being a disgusting human landfill, not because he's an asshole.

Oh god, can you imagine the horror that is his asshole? I wonder how long it's been since a piece of toilet paper touched it...

>can always lose weight
>still fat

Sadly op is probably American and they accept all kinds of trash in their police.

I'm looking to better myself manlet boy

>Is short
>Will always be short

Op theyre just trying to Bait you into becoming better but you gotta want it more than you feel Bad... Good training for a Cop. Just dont turn out bitter and angry like them lol be friendly and Nice N shit
Try IF to lose Fat.
METABOLISE

> I have a few months
>I can't do any sit ups cause my stomach is literally in the way
Lmao there is no way he is going to make it. I'm actually glad he sounds like a piece of shit because it means he deserves the inevitable suffering

The guy just recommended you to eat rice and potatoes and to fry your vegetables. Just saying.

Ya dude, 6'3 king of the manlets. You caught me. Anyway enjoy being fat and not a cop.

Not him but if those standards are your "good enough," that's really depressing user. The moment a man says "Good enough" for anything, especially his passions, be it fitness, literature, art, programming, anything, you lose the right to say you're going to amount to something. Besides, do you really think those standards are good enough for a police officer? I'm not even really fit myself (still progressing), and I think that's not only pathetic but straight dangerous to trust people that unphysically fit (A hallmark of the ill-disciplined) to handle criminals.
To add to this, yeah, there's dicks on this website, but these aren't assholes who are trying to lead you wrong, they're almost a "trial by fire." People here genuinely want to see you to succeed, but we've also seen so many like you, who have asked for help and failed, and that disappointment adds up.

That 7 pounds you've lost is 80% water weight, if you continue whatever you're doing you're going to plateau and rebound without knowing what you need to do. There are millions of obese people who have tried to lose weight and failed, and then gave up and your attitude marks you as someone going to be one of them.

You're most likely older than me, but even I, in my youth, know that its very common that you have to respect people who you hate. Even if they talk down to you, its not unlikely that they know something that you don't, and would greatly benefit from learning.

Read the sticky, user. What you're asking for isn't a quick fix, but a life-changing decision, and that's nothing we can answer in a single thread of a Chinese cartoon discussion website.

I will make it
Obviously I won't be doing that, the ecersice tips I like

Like in the op right?

I've lost 85 pounds in the past but put it on a few years after so I know how to lose it, I just need help with the physical requirements the most but I believe I have what I need now from the few non complete dicks of the thread

Then leave you fat faggot

I don't get this pic. Why did the post get so many replies.

At least we can see our dicks, fatty

It's my thread, you leave manlet

If you put it back on you don't know how to lose weight because you likely fucked up your metabolism in the process of losing weight.

Make sure you come back and tell us how your fitness exam went. We are all looking forward to your thread about how you failed because Veeky Forums is full of unhelpful assholes.

This is a great thread.

It's because he's 3 iPads tall.

Manlets, when will they ever learn?

I put it back after 5 years.

And what will you say when I'm a cop?

I'll lose my respect in the police force.

You put 85 pounds back on over the course of 5 years, that's almost 20 pounds a year.

That's faster than children grow, think about that.

I will say you should continue losing weight and getting in better shape, but everyone except you knows that won't happen.

Who cares, once I'm a cop I'm good to go

Even if I'm in shape?

Except it will happen

No it won't fatty. The fact you are still here arguing with people on the internet instead of exercising and working on a diet plan shows you have no intention of actually doing what you need to do.

Im at work rght now dumbass. Its not like im home on the computer

>at work
>not working

Even you wouldn't want someone like you becoming a cop...

I am working, waiting for a girl to get off the treadmill. I get paid more and more money the longer she takes and the bills goes to the gym so no one really cares. Its cool with me though, especially since it doesn't look like it has problems but I won't know for sure until i get access

Wow. Hope you don't pass.

Cut your calories, and do practice the required exercises until you reach that goal, along side other exercises that will help to cut calories, like cardio, or even weightlifting. Good luck.

>good luck

Clearly you haven't read the thread...

Thanks user, I appreciate the advice

A future cop being retarded and fat

who would've tought.

>future cop

Nah

Yes

I won't be fat in a few months. This is my dream job and I won't blow it

>fat
GOMAD

Your dream job is to be a cop? God.

Starting strength + GOMAD

>can't do a single sit-up because gut is in the way
>won't be fat in a few months
>thinks the 7 pounds he lost in a week was fat

You amuse me

>am dumb, but some other board was talking shit, so there!
Don't trip over the sticky on your way out faggot.

I love these posts. Best part of Veeky Forums

>I need help losing weight and getting in shape. How should I do it?
Read the ducking sticky.
>hey, fuck you! I'm being specific.

Pic related, it's op

Yes why?

>Losing weight
>Oh yeah well I bet you won't lose more!!!!
Fag

Manlet

Stay mad manlet. You are doomed to work minimum wage and spending all your money on roids. I can't wait until I get the job, I'm gonna shitpost this board up once I do

U mad, bro?

Are you?

I find it funny that the easiest, most basic way to determine how one could get into shape is the antithesis of fit an posted as the first thread. Yet, some are so stubborn to read it.

>not mad, tho

You're just like all those girls who come on here thinking they don't have to read the sticky. It's your go to source for starting fitness, which sounds right up your alley.
>"hoyhoymanletmanletmanymanmanlet"
>xDDD
Damn, if you want to shit talk just call someone a faggot.

You can't lose weight that fast with fasting AND being 400+ pounds. Its water my dude.

Fuck cops you fat pig cunt

Literally just lose weight and perform the exercises you said 3 or 4 times a day, any non-obese human can meet those requirements. Read the sticky about weight loss.

You're asking about something specific, but so obvious that only an actual retard wouldn't be able to figure it out on their own or at the very least find reputable information online about how to achieve these goals.

That's why you're fat. That's why people don't like you. Because you don't think or try, you just ask for people to help you. Help yourself.

>dunno I try to keep my mental energy on tap for things that are actually possible

I wanted tips for these specific routines not "LOL FATASS READ STICKY FAT!!!" Truly roid users and manlets

Who said I was fasting? Do you guys normal just assume?

I will thank you

The only retarded questions are the ones you don't ask

Not gonna make it

even fat ppl can do that

>I wanted tips for these specific routines
>literally too fat to do a sit-up

If getting fit was as easy as you seem to think it is, you would already be fit. Just because you want something doesn't mean you will have it. You have to work for it. No one can tell you something that will let you pass your physical by only doing 2 minutes of exercise a day. You're fat as fuck. You are literally morbidly obese. It took you years to get this fat, you think you can undo all of that in a few months? No matter how many times you call the people here manlets, you will still be fat and you will fail.

I can lose the weight and i will

Hope you get raped by niggers m8

>I can
Yes

>I will
No

Wow. Is this thread a big bait or what? OP you're fucking retarded, are you sure you are not underage?

fat faggot pig

Why don't you read it and find out, instead of dismissing it a priori?

Then do that. You're talking about super beginner shit. Just lose weight and gain muscle. It's hard finding a routine for something so basic. Just eat good, sparingly, and do tons of cardio/workout. Might help to fix your attitude also.
Or GOMAD.
Do GOMAD.