Mom Science/Normie Logic Thread

this was me plus abs

Newsflash, people in the army arent exactly above average intelligence. Im not trying to be anti army or leftist or anything, but its a fact that quite a few not so smart people join it.

>yfw your mother knows more about lifting than you do
You DON'T count the bar. If you say "I can bench X lbs for X reps", you're not honestly counting the bar, are you? HAHAHAHA

literally every bro ever
and they push absolute bitch weight at gym for 3 sets of 8 and never progress in weight

>mfw talk to some chick at work and she thinks going to gym instantly puts you on level of insta thotts
>tfw she has dat thicc fat distribution but would never do skwats and oats with me
>tfw she lost weight and now her ass looks even worse
>tfw she says working out is hard and boring

well, rip, wasted potential, she could have been ultimate cute with glasses, thicc brapper and her beautifull smile

Momscience:
>fruit is so good for you it has lots of vitamins and minerals!

Ascended momscience:
>fruit is terrible it's nothing but sugars!

Army hires based on ability to do as you're told.

Marines hire based on desire to kill babies.

Air force hires good looking people.

Navy takes the rest.

Intelligence is irrelevant. All you need is kill.

Please stop larping

Actually, Marines hire based on the ability to tell other people you're in Marines, or Marines veteran.

>If I eat my baby's snot I won't get sick
>I'm working out for the tone
>I'm off from work twice a week and the weekend but I have no time for the gym
>I'm chubby and I want to lose weight but I just don't want to give sweets up

>is new to lifting
>refuses to train deadlifts because of the risk of injury
>cleans 1pl8 so he can push press it onto his back and do squats because his gym doesn't have a squat rack
>mfw it's one of my closest bros

All mothers use this formula?
>innocent remark
>followed by exaggerated ironic justification

No mother has ever said any of these things

>>i do cardio instead of weightlifting because i want to lose weight not look like muscle freak

Kek

I heard the biggest broscience shit ever 2 days ago
>my company provides employees our own private gym
>2 fat fucks enter, one of it being something that's been going to the gym very rarely if at all and doesn't lift, just "runs"(walks), the other thing is its first time in the gym
>Thing1: Dude if you want to lose weight you have to run twice a day, both at 7:30 am and 7:30 pm, and only run for 30 minutes each time! Trust me I've done it and it definitely works (no it fucking doesn't you retard, you look just as bad 2 years ago).

I only butt in if someone tells someone to do something that will end up with them breaking something in the gym or breaking their fragile shells they call their body, and even if I did - I knew these 2 guys were buttbuddies so they'd probably just brush it off, but I had to do an eye roll when I heard the thing speak.

As someone who was in the army: the army doesn't want the best and the brightest, they want the people who have high tolerances to stress and can follow orders. So idiots who can listen to instructions trump anyone with two brain cells that can huddle together for warmth.

Army Vet here: from my experiances it seems more like the Marines select people who are easilly indoctronated into cult mindsets. Mostly because people who left the Marines to be in the Army and would NEVER rejoin the Marines still call themselves Marines.

It's actually kind of magical.

I hate those "at this exact time" people.

>If I eat my baby's snot I won't get sick

but this way he will have much more gains than any other gym noobie, bro
>oh look stacy, he just took that weight from ground and put it on his back over his head
>he need no squat racks liike user do

A-user :(

Actual Science:
>Fruit is the god tier source of natural carbs
>Just don't pig out, fatass. Stick to your macros.

>fruits have SUGAR therefore they're bad and make you fat

>you don't have to eat healthy, just smaller portions!!! three hours later binges on a whole frozen pizza because she's so hungry

bump

kek

>user it's about the amount of reps not the weight lifting 10lbs for 100 reps is better than lifting 100lbs for 10 reps.

>you shouldn't eat the same thing everyday
Fuck you mom how else am I supposed to hit my macros everyday.

well that actually has some truth behind it

not having varied diet is easy way to ask for insufficient microelements and vitamins

Get good macros, but out of variety of food my man

hows that a problem when your diet contains everything u need u mong

I supplement the micronutrients that I don't get enough of. Which is pretty easy to tell because I track everything with cronometer

t. nutrition specialist

newsflash
carbs protein fats and fiber isnt everything your body needs

He's generalizing their sentiments you moron

but this is true

>Counting the bar
holy hsit pathetic

Relax, nigger.

>army
>surprised is retarded
Anoni respect army and all but they are fucking dumb ass bro science fags

>"I have all of these issues in my life. I smoke, I do nothing all day, and I'm depressed"
>"Here are some great books that can help you figure your life out!"
>"I don't like reading like you do, user"

From my Auschwitz-mode 5'9 125 roommate:
>I'm just worried I'll get too big, I like running!
While watching World's Strongest Man competition
>you know, there are multiple ways to define strength. How can you call those guys the world's strongest if there are really lightweight rock climbers?

Sorry, but if you can diddly 1200 pounds, you're the world's strongest man, no arguing about """relative strength"""

That's not mom-science. That's just retardation.

It's just feeling inadequate.

fucking this.

my friend is severely depressed and its his own failt. victim complex.

tell him: read a book or two, heres some decent ones to help start, go see what you like.. you may pick up some stuff that could help you from them.

>user but im a visual learner i cant read and dont want to either, i have adhd, blah, blah, blah.
>plays league of legends for 8 hours per day
>graduated college but cant find job
>considering transitioning mtf, goes on /soc/ for camwhoring money

why dont you go get professional help?
>nah

this shit makes me want to rip my eyes out desu.

so this just happened
>browsing Veeky Forums
>mom walks in
>"user why do you spend so much time on that strange fitness board when you don't even go to the gym with me? maybe you should try to lose some weight"
>tell her to go fuck herself, shove her out the room and lock the door
god I hate that bitch

>tell her to go fuck herself, shove her out the room and lock the door
You better be larping you NEET piece of shit

>disrespecting your mother who loves you
wow you're so cool

>mom tries to help
>lol fuck that bitch
I'd tell you to off yourself but that would probably make your mom sad. Stop being a cunt.

>not going to the gym
Someone isn't going to make it.

>I have no idea why I´m depressed sigh I dunno looks like I´m born to be a NEET yep thats it nothing to be done

hopefully your mom stabs you in your sleep kunt

>calories in, calories out bro, is that simple
>dude, keto is the best diet
>avocados boost your testosterone

this a hundred times and more..

lifting (when done right) is way more efficient in terms of calories used

Not to mention someone with those muscles burns more calories while resting than a cardio cuck does.

Basically more psuedo science bs.

>No! No! Some people can't have it worse than me!! I am NOT privileged!! NO!!!!!!!! The world is FAIR and because Im doing well it means I have EARNED it!!!!!!

>Don't bring brocoli and rice to work, your
colleague will think you are weird

>>calories in, calories out bro, is that simple
except this is true you mong

>>That whey stuff makes people aggressive.
My crash said "it's very dangerous, you should stop taking them!". And she thinks she knows a thing about nutritions and how a body works, lol.

> if I eat my babys snot, I wont get sick

I would look like Arnold if it was true

I hate myself for knowing what this is cropped from.

...

>steroids are baaaad because they aren't natural
>now I'm going to drink my protein powder and drive to the gym

Eh, considering this is Veeky Forums I'm sure you're not the only one.

>tfw you have trap porn for when regular porn isn't working for you
N-no homo though.

Who is this semen demond?

I used to be in that vicious cycle for years, but now I've lost some weight, hit a gym, got a promotion at work and got some female friends, one of which could become a gf soon and I feel better than ever. You just need to start doing something with your life.

>keto burns FAT instead of CARBS! it's really effective for weight loss!

I don't have specific green texts but my roommates definitely half ass read fitness shit from somewhere and try to recite it back. They were trying to talk about keto the other day and all I wanted to do was call them faggots because they couldn't even explain meme diets right. Other roommate was trying to argue with how OMAD is going to be his new diet instead (watch him eat 4-5 meals to this day). Half of it is my fault, I lift and do OMAD/IF and shit so they try to follow my example but all they do is cry about how they use to be fit and how drinking is what made them fat even though they eat burger king 10 times a week and drink constantly with soda and shit for chaser. I eat pretty clean, I eat candy more often than I should but I do that because the fat girl at the gas station looked devastated everytime she sees me buying a bunch of candy with muh sips, kek worthy disappointment in herself for being gross.

Don't take it so hard mate, ofc there are people who are actually depressed due to horrific circumstances. We are just poking fun at the "depressed" millenials and their inability to see their own terrible lifechoices.

This is why I stopped watching porn. It got progressively harder to get turned on by normal things and I could never get erections for sex. I'm two weeks into noporn and I can already get erections without porn again.

I don't fap like I used to as a teenager. Now a days it's mostly sanding the ol' morning wood. I tend to keep some variety in the porn folder between traps, exhibitionism and/or light bdsm, busty gals, vanilla and the occassional futa thing. Not pingeonholing myself is likely what keeps me from falling into a single rut but on the otherhand I am jerkin' the gerkin to gay shit semi-regularly. So can't really claim no homo on that.

At least I haven't falled down the bara, furry, vore, mpreg, or inflation fetish holes, right?

Recommend me some books instead user, I'm actually trying to help myself unlike your friend.

Physics major who joined the army here.

I was genuinely surprised by how intelligent people were in the military. I would say the average soldier is slightly above average intelligence. A lot of the special forces guys and people in positions of authority are really smart as well.

That said, there are also some glorified thugs who are borderline retarded. You'd be shocked how many illegal immigrant mexicrap gangster (literally) get into the military. Fucking Iraq has ms13 graffiti all over the place from these faggots.

>I don't want to become muscular like Arnold or something, I just want to tone up

>implying furry is less gay that gay

Whe aren't we saying "I can bench 2.675 pl8s."?

kek

What the fuck is tone anyway? That's a normie defenition of pump or what?

Why do good mom's who are loving and care get wasted on pieces of shit? My mom is cold as ice and the nicest things she says to me are at best underhanded compliments, and I still don't treat her like this.

If this is real then fuck you man, your mom deserves better.

I bet you count the weight of your body when you calculate your totals

It's not though lol. 10 rep sets will actually make you good muscle mass gains, 100 rep sets will build you 0 muscle mass because its cardio.

I beg to differ friend.
that is one of the most good willed and heart warming doujins I've ever fapped to.
I'm not even into traps though.

When they say "toned" they mean lean and slightly muscular, pretty much otter mode

W-what about the Coast Guard?

Coast Guard has the highest hiring standards as far as the ASVAB goes.

Because you can make mistakes and forget to include something.

Not the user you replied to but here are some good ones to look at
>the art of war
>meditations
>the art of worldy wisdom
>the 48 laws of power
>the prince
>analects of Confucius
>on the ends of good and evil

heya, sure thing!

adding onto what the other user had suggested (all solid works in their own right)

>As Man Thinketh by James Allen (you can find free pdfs online)
>Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig
>Lila: An Inquiry into Morals by Robert Pirsig (this being a sequel to The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance)

take it all with a grain of salt and see where you can apply it. change is made in small increments that later amount to something greater.

cheers mate, you only owe it to yourself and nobody else!

>those girls that just run and walk on a treadmill for 30 mins and think thats enough so they can gorge on food

>Stronglifts is the most volume you can do and still progress. 5×5 is optimal.

Retardation:

The post

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY PICTURE

so marines are also crossfitters?