Today finally bought a door pull up bar

I'm not OP but I'm rather overweight, always felt like my body just can't handle its own mass so I'd absolutely love to be 100% sure that I can dominate the frame my brain is driving, rather than feel like I can't do some god damn pullups. Any good routine other than what that pic said of literally doing whatever? I don't know which muscles these train, and I'd sincerely appreciate getting spoonfed in a manner of "just do these routines, do an initial set until you reach your limit, then do 3 sets of a little bit below your limit, and repeat for each exercise", as well as how many days a week I should aim for

I'm trying to get Veeky Forums but feeling rather overwhelmed

just go to a real gym.

no one cares what you look like they are just trying to work out.

Sorry dude, you won't get spoonfed into getting fit.

The only thing spoonfeeding does is getting you fat.

Read up on the Stronglifts 5x5 routine mah nigga.

Also, read the fucking sticky.

Unironically check reddit. r/bodyweightfitness (i think that's the sub) has a good program apparently.

>I'm trying to get Veeky Forums but feeling rather overwhelmed
First off, don't be. Most of what you see posted here is completely unnecessary BS done for shekels or to satisfy autism. In truth this stuff is VERY basic.
>Any good routine other than what that pic said of literally doing whatever?
I have more but you'll have to gimme a few minutes. I'll try and find the list of books, you should still be able to pirate them.

Wew lad, I meant spoonfed a routine without having to research for around 5 hours for it. I don't have a barbell to do stronglift's 5x5, sadly, only some dumbbells with different weights. I already read the sticky. I'm a medicine student, so I'm pretty busy and have weird schedules ontop of sometimes having to study, so I can't really afford to go to the gym, but I still want to exercise to lose the beergut, and to be stronger and more healthy all around; I don't really care about aesthetics other than not having such massive abdominal fat (One of the worst signs of way too fucking many horrible diseases in the current day and age, abdominal fat can be a death sentence, and it's linked to pretty much fucking everything, it's as bad as the tobacojew and the etilic jew)
Checking
Nice

>Look respectable enough to hit the gym. I'm 50kg and could get beaten by a 6 year old girl probably

ITS OK, DONT WORRY
GO TO THE GYM GET STRONGER AND RAPE THAT MOTHERFUCKING 6 YEARS OLD GIRL

>I'm a medicine student
>I don't really care about aesthetics other than not having such massive abdominal fat
Control what you put in your mouth. Exercise is almost irrelevant compared to that. Told ya it was basic.

>Error: Image resolution is too large.
fuck me

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This worked pretty ok for me (all things considered)

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here's the link:
bodyweightroutines.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/calisthenics-full-body-weight-workout-routines/
the site itself is dead but the MediaFire archive still works

I'm not really looking to give myself a diet, I have way too many things going on likely to also have to watch what I'm eating. I want instead to just burn away everything that I'm eating rather than having to watch out for not eating a home-made burger as my dinner 1 time a week if I feel like it. Exercise is good for your brain as well, it also helps your mind feel more clear, helps with concentration and helps you study better, which is a big part of what I'm looking for, it's a combination of factors, it's not "damn I dislike my excess of abdominal fat"
>needs absolutely nothing and doesn't include jogging
God bless, that's exactly what I needed senpai. I'll start with that. I absolutely can't jog, I can walk for miles, but I get massive anterior sheen splint pain and some knee pain if I jog, which just tells me that I should probably work on my muscles, rather than punishing my bones and joints with such excessive stress loads because my muscles are too weak to handle constant jogging. I also absolutely hate the pain from jogging, while I love the muscle pain from working out, makes me feel real good for some masochistic reason
What do these pics mean, though? I get that the 2nd one is to add additional routines on your rest days if you feel you can do more, and it has different muscle groups to work with, but what's the 1st one explaining?

>I'm not really looking to give myself a diet, I have way too many things going on likely to also have to watch what I'm eating. I want instead to just burn away everything that I'm eating rather than having to watch out for not eating
You'll fail. I'm wasting my time.

If you're gonna do bodyweight training you can also look up the progressions in startbodyweight.com

It might be easier to progress lifting weights, but if you really want to do calisthenics (like me and others do) go for it man.

What does the brown do?

Not really looking to "progress" or look good, just want to be able to properly control my body, and strenghten my joints and tendons honestly, no point in having a look people can mire at if I have no practical use for it and it doesn't fix shit like the anterior pelvic thrust that I just found the name for while looking up these exercises
>just want to do some exercises to help flush some stress out, strenghten joints and maybe lower the abdominal fat a bit
>get told I have to count calories, watch my diet, stop eating homemade burgers once a week, and generally be a sad cunt
Nigga I just want some body strength and a clear mind, not to be the next Zyzz or to have people mire at me, I don't care about that. I feel like a fucking pussy when I notice I can't do shit because my joints hurt because they're taking all the stress due to my muscles being way too weak

You aren't going to get anywhere.

Skip this autistic step of "I'll just work out at home and do pushups", and join a gym.

L sit
pushup

You already are "respectable enough" you baby. Just join one

You think you'll walk in the gym and Arnold and Ferrigno will be chilling while the ghost of Zyzz mires himself in the mirror?

It'll be people like you and all kinds. There are like a handful of actually big guys in any gym and they don't give a fuck about anyone.

if you aren't going to put the effort into reading up on and becoming passionate about your training you aren't going to have the wherewithal to stick to and invest yourself in your training

hence you will never make it

>have to study
>only have like 5 hours free time each day
>want to start working out instead of making up excuses to postpone it
>some autist on Veeky Forums tells me I should be ready to read up for 5 hours on more muscle groups than I did for my anatomy course as a medicine student
Yeah, nah you're a cunt. I'll get working on either the bodyweightfitness routine or the startbodyweight one. Overwhelming yourself by having to read a fuckload of stuff before you even started to get into it, is absolutely the best way to get yourself burnt out, trust me on that, as somebody that's played videogames for years; I always burnt out of games by reading up way too much for way too long, hyping myself before even playing the game, and then dropping it because I felt overwhelmed. It's better to just be spoonfed a beginner routine, work from there, get interested, and read up on stuff as the days pass by while you do your routine and get more and more into it, in a more natural process

If you feel that this will help, then fuck a Veeky Forums autist tells you.
Half the people on this board don't even lift.

k then have fun doing a tokenistic routine a few months then rationalising that the reason you're making no gains is 'exercise must just not be for me' and continuing to be a fat waste of space until your last vision is your cardiac colleague putting you under an anaesthetic you'll never wake up from

fucking this

he didn t say 5 hours . knowledge is power . butu are wasting time on this thread instead of doing something productive as you imply you want but don t actually so fuck off

Lmao, morbid