/fat/ Wojaks Ate My Neighbors edition

oh oh shit i know why, i forgot an entire fucking meal

red bean wrap -- 360 cals

1170 + 360 = 1530

jesus

here is my calories for today.

also didn't know pickles had so much sodium

I just want to lose weight so I can lose my virginity to a female. But I'm anti social and can't drive, so how do I get a girl?

this desu
don't torture yourself having to go back and forth between starving and enjoying some measure of tasty food
take generic nutritional supplements, eat the same canned veggies every fucking day, turn meals into a completely joyless habit and do not break it, weigh twice a day to make sure you're aware at all times that it's working and worth continuing

That's a question for advice so go ask there.

We can help with weight loss, not making you more outgoing, interesting, or social.

But try asking girls out. That's usually a good way to get GF.

How much do I have to pay to get Dwayne
"The Rock" Johnson to poop in my butt?

learn to drive. It gives you so much more freedom.

After you lose the weight, keep losing.
Become very very skinny.
You will then have a particular kind of sexual aesthetic to you.
Being especially manly or independent is not a meaningful part of this aesthetic. It has more to do with smallness, cuteness, and youthfulness. In particular, it has to do with being the kind of guy girls look at in the same way we look at cute girls, rather than being the more traditional successful masculine dude that girls would look at in the same way we look at dommes and milfs.
Enjoy e-z puss

This shouldn't work but it does
The idea that all girls want alpha studs is a myth, there is a kind of fetish / niche for dyel fuckbois
For further evidence of this phenomenon one need only peruse tumblr

Does anyone else find that caffeine makes you shit a lot?

I successfully managed to lose 30 pounds (down from 225 in May, with 20 pounds of that lost in the last month alone).

I honestly just don't even want to live anymore. It's not that I want to give up dieting, I just don't want to keep getting let down, fucked over, and cheated in life. I don't look forward to anything because I know there's too strong of a chance that it's going to destroy me when it turns out I got my hopes up just to be massively disappointed. And the few times something good happens I don't allow myself to be happy because I fear my hopes getting crushed once again. I guess this isn't the right board for this but I really, really just want to die. You guys have no idea what it's like to live and work your ass off when you don't even do it looking forward to any happiness because you know better than to expect that sort of thing.

It's common knowledge that coffee does.

I have some skinny friends (one is super skinny other is average level skinny) but girls tend to make fun of them. Almost as bad as fatties get made fun of. It seems unless you have least a lil bit of muscle, you're literally useless

Millions of years of evolution for this sad little creature to pop out and waaaah wahhhh about life
I hope you're a single child and kill yourself

>millions of years
>evolution
>edgelord

checks out

get professional help. You're either being a little edgy cry baby or you have actual clinical depression. You should be on meds or seeing a therapist or both.

Sorta same with me

I understand that losing weight/getting some muscle will change my life forever, but I also know there's that I'm anti-social, bad teeth/wear glasses and have a dick is only 4'9 inch's fully erect. So although I'll look better, it won't solve Everything.

Yeah you have psychological issues but so do I and in a sense who cares? What kind of dieting are you doing? Following any sort of specific plan?

>and have a dick is only 4'9 inch's fully erect

that looks unfiinished , make one like these

no thanks i'm full

>only 4'9 inch
Are you European trying to use US standards? Because what you just wrote translates to 4 feet 9 inches, or about 144 cm.

4inchs 9 cm I mean lol

Almost 5 inch's

on my way to losing fat and weight, can't afford to go to the gym, is there anything I can do to make it look like I at least have some muscle by the time I reach my goal weight?

Right, got ya. I'm only 14 cm myself, but it's not something we can change, so it's pointless going around worrying about it.

It's all in your head, user, I was in your place a couple years ago. One day I realized it's possible to have a shitty life but still feel happiness. I self-therapied myself out of depression with meditation and the dopamine from exercise. Your current mood is just temporary.

I'm sticking to 1000 calories on my off days, and 1200 when I exercise.

Not worrying too much about macros, but I am avoiding carbs past 6pm to avoid the temptation of cheating.

Idk, my energy is totally sapped and when I get like this I just get really depressed. It's not even real depression because it isn't constant throughout the day, it's literally become like any other emotion, and it's due to the fact that I barely have any energy right now.

If you are so sure your problem is easily fixable, then decrease your deficit to fucking fix it.

1000 is really low, what is your TDEE? You should only eat 1000kcals less if you're having depression problems because your brain won't be able to make any good decisions when it's malnutritioned.

>take a shit
>it's 1 (one) solid cable, instead of some "food" and alcohol-induced enema
>only need to use a few pieces of toilet paper to wipe instead of half the roll

I-is this the true power of a healthy diet?

>tfw a girl in your dorm who you always assumed hated fatties because she was so tiny comes up to you a little less tiny one day and says noticing you were recovering from your own eating disorder had inspired her to try to recover from hers

>tfw lifted pretty much my first set of weights in my life on friday
>did 2x11 squats with 4.5 kilograms
>legs still fucking ache

is this normal
I'm 285lbs at 6'

9cm is 3.54 inches, user.

Without making fun of me, can someone PLEASE explain what keto is? I want to try it, I've tried fasting but whatever form, I fail cuz I get too hungery and binge.

So what is Keto??

What foods do I eat? How much do I eat?

I didn't say my problem was fixable, and I'm certainly sure if I do think that.

>decrease your deficit
lol no. I have a few more months left of college and I don't want to waste any time I have left. I have to get fit so I can lose my virginity and get my first relationship before I graduate and it's too late.

Look up Keto diet. It would be more verbosely explained in an article.

>is this normal

Have you ever done any physical activity in your life?
Yes it's fucking normal

I noticed my stool was a lot better after quitting drinking too. Feels healthy not having to question whether or not I have colon cancer.

lolol do you even lift lololololololol do you even lift lololololol do you even lift

Will I ever have abs? I'm a girl that needs to lose 50 pounds and I'm worried about loose skin

body weight exercises

reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitness/wiki/kb/recommended_routine

>Feels healthy not having to question whether or not I have colon cancer.
Damn, you said it there...

Maybe. Loose skin is a part genetics and a part how big you were at your heaviest.

if I did physical activity I wouldn't be here in the first place

body weight exercises

reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitness/wiki/kb/recommended_routine

That's not true. I have 3 gold and 2 silver medals in karate, got them when I was 16-17. Then I gained 30kg by 22 totaling 103kg.

body weight exercises

reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitness/wiki/kb/recommended_routine

high fat, low/zero carb diet
eat foods high in fat/protein low in carbs
eat your TDEE

I'm 5'10", 195 pounds, 21y/o so my TDEE is 2300 at no exercise, but I burn 300-400 calories per day (on average based on last couple weeks) all from cardio according to mfp.

I do take multivitamin gummies and iron supplements daily tho.

you do
I don't

>Without making fun of me
Everyone point at this man and laugh.

If I could so could anyone, including you, autismo.

The point
Your head

uhhh briannnnnn

Has anyone else seen a difference in how you're treated? People don't recoil at the sight of me anymore, guess that's good

Your head
The clouds

I said laugh at him
Laugh at him now!

What are you even doing here? This isn't the place to show off, fuck off back to facebook

...

Women seem to smile at me more, but I'm still conditioned to quickly look to the ground and step off the sidewalk as they pass by.

>People don't recoil at the sight of me anymore
Well look at you, putting on airs

...

>walking down sidewalk
>it's a dad and a mom holding their baby
>mom shifts her baby to her left side and scolds me from a distance as I get closer
>dad tries to step in front of the mom to prevent me from eating the baby
>stomach rumbles
>fuck

I'm typing this from prison right now. You could say I lost to my temptations and had a bit of a cheat day. And it's not like they can't just have another baby anyway.

Those bigots

Must suck to be a Swede.

How do I calculate my TDEE if I'm on medicine like Quetiapine or antidepressants?

I know they can fuck up my weight loss and lower my metabolism, but to what extent?

>be me
>eat a kebab for breakfast, as per usual
>look out the window, see a mother with a baby on her arm walking by
>baby makes eye contact with me, I smile back
>baby starts crying

This was a few months ago, I've lost a few pounds since then, but still, not everyone can claim to be so ugly they literally make babies cry.

>Quetiapine
~300-400 calories per pill

>antidepressants
~1600-2000 calories per pill

Good luck maintaining a calories deficit with that.

can you afford a doorway pullup bar and do you have a good door frame to put one in?

Not him but I thought about a pul up bar but they all have max weights of like 160

Honestly, how the FUCK do you eat that much and not feel like you're going to vomit?

How do you calculate that and where do you find that info?

160 kilograms or pounds?

I've been to 3 different fast food places today, and ordered pizza, and I'm still hungry.

one of my friends is skelly mode but he's 6'6 so women mire him just for his height

Because shit food.

Im 34 and have been up and down with my weight my whole life. Lost 100 lbs twice just eating right and walking a fuck ton or running. I've moved out to the country so walks or runs are not happening. I'm not getting stephen king'd. Any recommendations for high quality but under 1k cardio equipment?

Put that extra protein to use user! You can do it!

I mean fuck I want to call bullshit on this but I was on anti psychotics for 6 months and gained 50lbs despite trying to actively stay in shape. Was furious at my shithead psychiatrist when he refused to help me switch medications for weight loss and kept deferring me to a nutritionist, just fuck mental health professionals, god damn drug dealers with degrees.

Getting Veeky Forums is far better than any pill imo.

Thanks for that pepe, I shall add it to my collection

Sure it's fork put downs. Diet is more important than exercise. Cardio will help but you have to take responsibility for what you put in your mouth.

Fucking source where

THIEF!

I have what is probably like a first gen doorframe bar. The kind with the pad that goes on the reverse side of the frame and has the straight piece pushing about 6 inches below the top. I've done pullups on the neutral grips with about 60lb in a backpack and I weighed 200ish. I also rigged up a hammock on it once and slept in it. I felt like I was in a giant slingshot pocket, but the bar held up just fine.

Too late

stealing this one too

Atleast I still have my super rare pepe nice and safe
haha losers.

>despite trying to actively stay in shape

Mind telling us what you mean by "trying to actively stay in shape"? How much did you excercise, did you count calories, how much did you eat?

Most pull-up bars hold up to 120kg, user. If you're over 120kg you have no business doing a pull-up unless that weight is functional muscle which it isn't because you're in this thread reading this

the salad was more like 5 cups, but I put 6 just in case

also it's really not that big. Pic is it.