Batteries died on the squat bar

>Batteries died on the squat bar

don't you have superfast charging? takes 3mins for full charge senpai

>using a battery powered squat bar

Understandable. Have a nice day.

>leg press stopped dispensing tickets
I just want to win enough to get my towel back.

>someone unplugged the bench press mid rep.

>plate dispenser jammer again
>when they finally got around to fixing it, the plates don't even come out dry

>shattered bar screen
thanks apple

>the glow plugs on the smith machine need to be changed

>calisthenics machine dies mid-rep

> treadmill ran out of gas
> Gym gargoyle is perched on the bike

I'm never gonna finish this cut

>lat pulldown machine needed an oil change 3000 reps ago

>right dumb bell stopped working a month after purchasing it

>The creatine mine collapsed again

>blew the fucking tranny changing weight on the cable machine
new pimples on my lips what do?

>using a plugin squat rack

>the floor is lava again so the only exercise I can do is running on the treadmill

>walk into free weight section at a crowded time
>only left-handed dumbbells available

>blew the fucking tranny
what, are you fucking gay?

>
>Samsung™ squat bar's batteries explode on neck

so this thread is what it looks like when incels try to have fun.

>squat bar requires non-free javascript

Underrated

How does it feel knowing that anonymous people fucking around makes you feel inadecuate? Get a life.

>Go to over head press
>Left my charger at home

>not having a gymbro jump start it

>ab wheels speakers start malfunctioning
>starts blaring despacito out of nowhere

>Gym falconer complained to the manager that me dropping dumbbells is scaring the falcon chicks

What a tattle tale bitch!

>go do OHP after squats
>"Unlock this DLC now for $19.99*!
*Plus tip"

>Hex bar suffers from premature ejaculation

I hate this so much.
>tfw paid €50 for the complete Squat + OHP + deadlift Cage package
>still have to pay microtransactions every time I sumo deadlift or squat below parallel

>Radiator on the treadmill overheated

>treadmill doesn't run on gentoo

>timing belt on the bench press broke

> the differential on the reverse hyper is acting up again

>squat rack gimp called in sick again

>gym air compressor broke again
>forgot pump from home to inflate barbell and plates to the recommended 32 psi

>routine calls for 5x5 squats
>only have enough credits for 14 reps

>step on the threadmill for a quick 20mins run before leaving the gym
>keys are so sensitive it adds another zero so I end running for 3 fucking hours and arrive late at work

Getting of this shit tbph

>Gym gargoyle is perched on the bike

Fuck I laughed out loud at this one

>Powercage deflated mid squat
>panic and almost kill myself

How hard is it for manlets to maintain the equipment?
They never should of let them out, even if temporarily.

>bar broken, can go up but not down
>Have to push it down every rep
>Dyel tells me the one's and zero's are all fucked up and I need to fix the binary
>mfw it's clearly a hex bar

>Gym manlet STILL hasn't replaced the fuses on the Smith machine
>Plate fluid leaking onto the curling mats
>Dumbbell springs starting to squeak
Wtf do my protein taxes pay for?

>deadlift bar back from the dead, used all my silver bullets shooting in the air in the carpark as a preworkout

>Chad threw my squatting gloves in the manlet pit again

>shark got into the underwater curling station

>Have to wait for some idiot to stop squatting in the wrist curling wrack

>manlet meditating in the cardio chamber
When will they learn?

>faggots fucking in the sauna room

Wait... This actually happens

>Faggots dying in the sauna room

ftfy

>his squat rack isn't crank operated
lmao

>tfw favourite gym just switched from analog to digital weights

>some fucking prankster switched the labels on the push and pull barbells

>buy the DYEL humble bundle with squat OHP and diddles
>Lift heavy still no gains
>turns out 30% of my gains are uploaded to company servers as "royalties"
This shit should be illegal

>Dip Machine repurposed for stamping new 45lb plates
>Now required to do 5 sets every push day

>was doing some sumo deadlifts
>barbell malfunctions, starts smoking, plates catch fire, fire dept. shows up, gym closed for the rest of the day due to CO levels being too high


Fuck me

kek'd

>squat rack won't accept canadian quarters

>Bulk tank inlet is clogged

>rear deraileur got hacked
>can´t get out of 11T cog

Strap in and let me tell you about some of the fucked up shit I've seen in my gym lads
>dinosaurs squatting in the power cage
>some manlet deadlifting two skeletons out of the gym graveyard
>the egg machine making you into a swole butterfly and not a swole bear
>spin classes last forever so we have to constantly readjust the gravity
>the fucking thugs outside waiting to rob you of your gains
and worst of all
>people ohping in the squat rack

>not being a biotic who can just enlarge the mass of the bar by his own powers

>gym manlet got mad and callled the free weights slaves weights again

>Gym cleaner forgot to lock the stationary bikes up over night
>Ended up riding into the wall during my morning cardio

>Gym cleaner forgot to lock the stationary bikes
>This is a bad neighborhood

>Favourite stationary bike has a flat tyre
Just my luck.

>gym membership expires
>have to pay for a new one

>gym bard's AOE didn't reach the power rack

>have beaten everyone on the gym curl contest
>granted a lifetime membership as a reward
>but lifetime goal is already achived and lifting more makes no sense

strength buff wore off at the bottom of the squat

>inadecuate

>Power cage attendant doesn't accept cheques any more

>start seeing this huge qt show up to my gym
>manned up and found the confidence to speak to her
>spotted her on all her sets
>turns out she's smart, funny and strong
>invites me back to hers to smoke
>ends up in dirty dirty sex
>she looks into my eyes
>"I love you user"
>a tear comes to my eye
>all of a sudden I hear mom calling me for dinner
>tfw forgot I was in VR

>failed the speech check with the gym receptionist and now need to tip her 500 gold to be allowed to use the squat rack

made me break out laughing like a spaz

>Tfw the over head deadlift machine is ancient
>use a gallon of water for every set (steam powered)
>have to carry my yolk to the fountain and dip my buckets in
>Tfw every muscle I use that isn't the pre paid shoulders or tris is an extra surplus charge of a compound of 25 cents

Life is suffering

>tfw manlets climbed out of the ball pit again

>Tfw the botnet me to be DYEL

>noticed I'm not getting gains on squat
>someone hacked the squat rack and mines gaincoins

>gym twink rate hike
And I'm still a poorcel.

lol, enjoy your botnet pleb.

>Gym finally switch to Nuclear power instead of gas
>Some retard crashes the weights and the barbell starts leaking
>gym closed for 20 years due to radiation

God fucking dammit, i had just bought more credits for the plate dispenser too

>someone turned in the head of the former gym boss and the whole gym gets a mad STR buff

>some asshole gave the gym twink herpes

>somebody cranked the gravity way up
>only 5' 8" and can't reach the knob to turn it down

>Gym ATM is broken
>Can't cash in my natty card
>Test machine won't let me pin till i cash it in
>Gym says at least a week to fix it

Well shit

>Fucking powerlifters voted for independence
>can’t use the squat rack because my passport needs updating

>open gym loot box
>recieved a new skin for gloves

>not paying for the DLC and unlocking toggle off gloves

underrated

>cheap gym still using dial-up
>constant lag when lifting over 2pl8

>tfw they replace the analogue machines with digital ones

>soy boys are protesting the gym, again.
>their greasy skin is too slick this time.
>can't throw what what you can't grab.

>some manlet trips over the squat rack powercable midset

>Gym warden raises the height standard for manlets again.
>5'9" up to 5'11"
>My protein mine sentence begins tomorrow.

>vegans raiding the gym again, protesting against "cruelty gains"
>they somehow free the gains goblins used to level up the manlets mining protein in the pit
>ended up losing gains because i DON'T do cardio

i knew i should have put at least 10 points in AGI

>manlet didn’t rewind the dumbbells
>had to do reverse curls for half my sets

>someone installed Arch Linux on the treadmill and now it keeps getting runtime errors

>tfw gym staff caught me using the gym geenie to get taller, threw me back on the pit
>manlets no more consider me one of their own
>tfw being forced to mine for twice the daily requirements without spotters

Be careful what you wish for

>left the smith machine on all night
>addy longswords everywhere
>see skelly walk by, get idea
>mfw