Brehs what am I doing

Brehs what am I doing

Fucking up.

Nicely done, OP!
That spicy meme surely will attract the women

Call her a rancid swine now.

call her a curry breather next

Finding out the next step of her master plan

In all seriousness, why do you guys feel the need to try to impress women through text? It literally doesn't matter what you say as long as you don't say retarded shit like OP.

Be subtle with your trolling. She looks maybe Hispanic, maybe Indian. Lean towards the whole poo in the loo. Say you like the poo and commit.
>you love Indian food
>you want to take her to a great Indian restaurant
>"Spicy foods just help loosen you up"
>you prefer (((brown))) foods
>later, somehow jokingly ask her if she always poos into the toilet water
>you are hinting that you don't want her poo in the loo but instead on you and in you

ask if she's an archaeologist

well you need to understand, it's not Veeky Forums if you dont actively go out of your way to ruin all your chances against common sense.

...

Crashing this plane... WITH NO SURVIVORS

>fucked this girl last week
>tentatively said I'd go to this show with her and her friends
>didn't go because I didn't think she'd care/thought she wanted to be done with me since I'm a creepy autist

How do I respond so she'll still want to fuck me without saying that I was foam rolling and eating an obscene amount of oats while watching survivor?

>mystery man

oh god user dont tell me you did some autistic shit like referring to yourself as 'mystery man'

well youre already giving off autistic vibes by this point, so say something like you were busy

Call her a rancid swine.

Invite her over and bang her again ahaha it's simple

you dont want to impress them, but you want to be funny.

Establish dominance. tell her the lineup sucked and that you only listens to gregorian chants

Make a believable excuse humblebragger

invite her for some other shit, and say
" I didn't go because I didn't think she'd care/thought she wanted to be done with me" thing

yeah just invite her over, dont explane yourself.
Write straight "wanna come over this Weekend, i have to Show you something that can not be spooken"
>Mystery for the mystery man!

What kind of pictures should I use for my tinder? I just downloaded it.

Just matched with this one bros.
I know crazy hair (she also claims bisexual) is a massive warning sign, but I have a weakness for that shit. She also only has one picture, which is unusual.

How do I snatch one of these?

It wasn't that autistic. The morning after she was leaving and asked if I'd be going out later that night, I said maybe. She said ooh so mysterious and I said I like to keep a mysterious aura or some shit. It went over fine in person clearly

I went with inviting her back over. Didn't want to explain to her that I didn't know if she still liked me or not but I wish she knew to reassure me

Damn user. That was pretty smooth

Why? They don't care if you're funny.

Bit too many words bro, you don't have to explain yourself in depth. Keep it short.

>I have a weakness for batshit crazy women that no doubt will lead my offspring to impeding doom

What in the world is that grammar?

you must be decent looking if you do gay autistic shit like that and it becomes 'mysterious' instead of creepy. congrats

>I said I like to keep a mysterious aura

>guys that have never joked around with a girl irl

Thanks bro

I'm leaving town for a concert tomorrow, which was a recent discussion point of ours. I feel like it shows that I'm not always at her heel ready to be wherever she wants me to be.
I am decent looking, at least enough to the point where my looks make up for my shit personality. But that only works out at bars when they're trying to get a good fuck anyways.

That's why we have condoms

Yeah I don't know, it's almost suspicious. I'm just waiting for a bot message from her so my confidence can take another hit.

fake profile pic lol

This. The more you ramble the more you sound like you're trying hard. If you're trying hard to make an excuse it means you didn't have a good reason.

Would've been a perfect response if he's just sent the second paragraph without the excuse.

Tell me about the concert, how was it!

>Didn't want to explain to her that I didn't know if she still liked me or not but I wish she knew to reassure me
Dont you dare to explain to her that you didn't know if she still likes you! The Moment you would do that, she will lose interest in you.
You are a confident man, you know that she likes you, no you know that she loves you. It doesn't matter if true or not, if you believe that, then this is the case and so you attractive.
So you dont Need to be sure if she likes you or not, come on, dont be a beta, start to act like an Alpha. You know that she loves you.

>Pro tip
Start to flirt and Chat with other Girl, you should always have alternatives. Always even in a serious relationship. This is how you stay attractive.

Literally me. I can't think of anything to talk about, except fucking memes. This place ruined me.

Way ahead of you bro, got another woman coming over to carve pumpkins on Friday nomesayin'

Swing and a miss on Tuesday. I'm free during most of the week, how do I respond without being autistic?
"I'm going to xxxx to get some drinks with my old roommates and go to the xxxx concert. I'm free during most weekdays as you know, just let me know what evening works best for you and we can go downtown or something"

How does that sound? Don't fail me now Veeky Forums

Google that shit man, we don't know

Is inglesh u fuken ediot

The best lies are the ones that intertwine with the truth. Where are you actually going? Use that in your response and then ask her when she is free next

I hate being stuck there trying to offer another day, it's easy to come across like you're scrambling and desperate. I'd just ask when she's free during the week, just mention that you can't Friday, say something stupid and funny like bevs with the boys

>tinder roasties

>bevs with the boys
Didn't I tell you? I don't want her to think I'm autistic

You dun fucked up bro, you put the ball in her court

I never got a response. Bow to fix this!!!

What do you say to a woman when she says that she's "not that kind of girl" when you ask her back to your place / suggest to hook up?

I'm talking in person btw not internet dating

F

You respect her for not being a roastie and don't waste time drive you have a conflict of interest.

I know you're trying to be ironically cringey but fuck man, that's pathetic

Fucking hell man. You could have closed the deal so easily.
You don't fix it, its dead and buried.

Deus vult

But don't some women just say that and eventually give in if you're persistent enough? It's confusing.

This wasn't even me... I trusted the true alpha men of this place to help me with my game.

I look kinda ripped. But my texts always fuck it up. Can u do better helping me with the next girl

You kiss her goodnight and decide if you want to invest 2, possibly 3 more dates on her before getting her back to your place. Can't really argue with her response unless you want to come off as desperate

At least you known you aren't dating a whore

i can tell you don't actually speak to real humans

All woman will give in since they are weak creatures, driven by emotion.
But it is immoral to seduce her if she stays her intention and it gives a high risk of psycho aftermath. From her and her brothers/dad, rape charges etc etc

Yes i can help you. When a slut asks if you eat pussy within the first 5 minutes of knowing her say yes.

funny how we can get from chad lvl conversations to autismo-lvls-shouldnt-b-poss

some advice. being alpha is subtle and effortless, not try hard and intense

Honestly my second line is funny as fuck
How can she not dig the humor.
Am i rite?

Pictures of yourself, preferably

Of course you aren't haha

Hang out with her near your place
Mention some cool thing you have in conversation
Escalate with her, flirting, laughing, touching. Gauge her interest level

Mention that cool thing again and you have to show her, lead her to your place with your excuse. Keep it light, don't even ask her, just lead her and keep it light.

im gonna need you to be more specific

Why didn't you just fucking reply to her question with, "yes" you fucking idiot

bot risk, scene girls went extinct like seven years ago

Yeah, that jokey shit doesn't work if you're ugly

Do Americans seriously use their height in shoes?

that's not a problem if you're not ugly, user

Kek y'all niggas so beta, just get straight to the point chicks appreciate that

Only works with degenerate niggers

>I like to keep a mysterious aura
>over explains himself

>it literally doesnt matter what you say except for the times when it matters what you say

/Spoiler/ I'm a shitskin in Australia

>got another woman coming over to carve pumpkins on Friday nomesayin'
Happy to hear that.

>on Topic.
I would answer something like.
"late at night Sound good to me, be prepared."
Dont mention another day, dont give her the oportunity to decide which day you will meet.
If you want to meet her an other day, just say something like, "ok how does friday night sounds?"

Doesn't work unless the girl is a super slut. I don't live in America, so that's not an option.

Never ask a girl when she is free. She's free when you want her to be, not when it's convenient for her.

Never supplicate to women. Didn't you boys have fathers?

"mysterious aura" was a silly joke you aspie, who would unironically say that? I imagine a neckbeard who desperately wants to be Sasuke Uchiha

This does work. Not all the time though.

This.

See the men here dont seem to understand the difference between men and woman.

Men are logical and therefore like details so they can understand situations and contribute with their own ideas to help bros out.
Woman are emotional and do not have this bromance support in them. Ever saw a group of girls? Only backstabbing!
Woman only want to feel good and having attention spikes due to surprises which result from mysteriousness and fewer details work best for them. If played off lightly and fun.

>Didn't you boys have fathers?
No?

Most boys have cucked fathers or divorced parents. Maybe less then 10% have an actual manly father figure.

The west with its liberalism and feminism is cucked bro. Face it

hearing my sister talk about her 'friends' was so depressing. one second, theyre best friends ever, wouldnt trade the world for them, the next shes talking about how elisa fucked her over just to get the 15 second attention from chad. its so depressing. and it never ends.

women are in a constant state of petty war with each other, its just done in a feminine and passive way, unlike guys that get aggressive and forgive after, girls are passive and just hate forever.

>inb4 tips fedora

its true.

>one dumb broad measures herself in shoes
>makes a general assumption about a population of 3.2 million individuals

having a dad at all would have been nice

instead my dad was absent for first 15 years, and then when he came back all he did was make everything worse by projecting on me and calling me a loser that will die out because of natural selection.

pro tip: dont do that to your kids!

Burgers are more enlightened sweetheart

>so beta
>using a degenerate slut mobile app to get laid instead of charm
Wow, you're so Alpha man

Can someone confirm if this is true or just redpill nonsense?

its typical r/theredpill virgin talk, but its half right - you have to be assertive with women. not in beta over compensating ways, but in general for things like setting dates, rather than passively asking, state, "this is it", etc

>its typical r/theredpill virgin talk
>completely agrees


I rarely trust advice from guys on Veeky Forums, least of all on Veeky Forums, but this holds to be pretty true.

Make sure you teach your kids to understand the fundamental differences of axes and how to handle them.
And not believing mainstream consensus like gender equality but to be analytical and looking for the truth in things.

May God be with you user.

Latina dude

I find it annoying and try hard running through a bunch of days in the week when you know she's busy. I prefer to say when I'm unavailable and then let her pick from the available days.

And no, my dad didn't give me any dating advice. He married his high school oneitis.

Wow. I was the one you were replying to. Coincidentally I too only met my father at 14. But more so because my mother kept creating drama whenever he tried to make contact.
The drama was exaggerated but he is an agressive narcissistic man.

How is your relationship with him now?
Mine acts like everything is not his fault and blamea me and circumstances, mom and brother for everything. Denies any responsibility in his narcissistic apathic and agressive behavior.
I see him once in a few months for a few hours to keep it lightly and without a chance for him to go rage. Very shallow relationship imo. But i still see him because he is my father.

...

So much this.
Its so funny how pathetic it is when people force assertiveness and alpha behavior.
Because the whole thing is to play it light playfull and without tension. People who follow the alpha guidelines fall in the trap that there are always moments where one should adjust to the situation, but they continue spouting the alpha shit they rehearsed from an online source.

Im kekking everytime lol