How do I obtain the body status of this great kung fu master?

Motherfucker Birthday Snatches: 3xF

Bumping this thread,
Fuck Steven segal

Stop exercising

You just have to drop all the junk food from your diet and eat butter everyday.

Learn the ancient art of Faikido

2 watches ?

Lol yeah wtf??

The dude is an insane moron who became a star literally because people were trying to prove they could turn anyone into a star.

There's that story about how JCVD got super pissed at him and challenged him to a fight (as Seagal was mouthing off as usual) at one of Stallone's parties, and Seagal ran off to a club, with JCVD following him there and demanding a fight, enraged.

Then there's the Hollywood trainer who recounts Seagal boasting he could break free of a choke hold before attempting it and he ended up passed out and i think he wet himself.

...

He shit himself not wet himself.

"Judo" Gene Lebell choked him out until he shat himself.

JCVD got heemed by chucky pancamo

>Gene Lebell
To be fair, the guy is legit fucking insane (but also awesome) and is actually the man we should aspire to be like.

Nope, another stunt men on the same set confirmed later that this is bullshit and would never happen. Steven Seagal was the main star and important for the Studio, such "funny things" wouldn't happen in such a controlled environment.

While it may indeed be "made-up", please don't believe they're any more professional than anyone else. Film sets for whatever shitty direct to video movie Seagal is involved in are probably some of the least professional environments on the planet.

They still wouldn't do that to the main star, Seagal may be a fat lazy fuck, but his name on DTV movies still guarantee money.

>Steven Seagal was the main star and important for the Studio

fakest thing i've heard this week

Enough talking about him shitting please post more webms of him, anyone have the animu sword fight scene one?

Post the webm of him blowing the helicopter with just his pistol pls

He get hired because his name still makes money on the DTV sector.

Russia sure does love their fakes

GOMAD. No SS required.

What is the name of the movie? I have a fondness for such garbage

Code of Honor

his run is so goofy looking

ty famalam

Why did he never make an effort to actually get good in martial arts?
Must feel weird to be a movie badass and claim real life martial art skills knowing that you are absolute whack?
He could have simply started taking lesssons

He was too busy fucking Mongolian and Native American women because they're a part of his heritage.